Chapter Twenty-Four

Aaron

 

A soft rustle woke me. It was the sound made by clothes sliding across the floor. I rubbed my eyes, taking a second to remember everything. Greta. The charity event. Greta… God, last night was amazing. Every kiss. Every touch. I didn’t know feelings could go that deep. I didn’t get it until I did. And I wanted her. For real.

I had to tell her the truth—it had become real for me. But what if she doesn’t feel the same way?

She had to. Right?

The looks, the touches, the way her face softened at me. I couldn’t be imagining it. It had to be two-way. Or I’d force her. Make her understand. I couldn’t walk away.

The bed was too cold next to me and I opened my eyes. I spied her by the door, half-crouched over. Why is she on the floor?

She must’ve forgotten something in the damn car. Or had an errant thought she had to write down. She could be odd at times, and I loved that.

“Get your gorgeous ass back in this bed.” I pushed up onto my elbows and admired the view. Her plump ass was facing me. And my brain had already thought of a bunch of things to do with it…but she didn’t turn to face me No. She remained frozen in place, not making a sound. She didn’t remain quiet unless something was wrong. And a tiny, very present bubble of anxiety appeared in my chest.

I sat straight up. “Greta, what’re you doing?”

She spoke slowly, in an almost inaudible whisper. In those next few seconds, my blood turned to ice. Like someone had doused me in cold water. “I need— I should go.”

“Why?” She must have something early. Tutoring. Work. Homework. Anything. “I’d prefer you stay in bed with me. But if you need to leave, I can drive you if you give me a second.” I stretched, the meaning of her words not hitting me quite yet. “What time is it?”

“Don’t drive me, Aaron.”

Now she had my attention. All of it. I swung my legs out of bed. “Wait—why?”

She sighed, her back still as stiff as a headboard. She turned to face me with an expression I had never seen before. She had a look of revulsion. As if speaking to me was the last thing she wanted to do.

My stomach churned, the beers from the night before on the verge of coming up. This can’t be happening. “Last night was pretty amazing. But let’s call this for what it is—a sham. It was part of the plan for you.”

“But—”

“No.” The aggression in that word stopped me. Her coffee-colored eyes stared into me, but they were blank. Empty. Just like my heart felt. “Aaron, I can’t continue the next couple weeks. We would’ve staged a break-up, big or small, I don’t know. But the charity event was the final thing for your image. We both know it.”

“Wait…what?” My sleepy brain didn’t compute her words. Or their meaning. It wasn’t possible. I had plans. Plans to tell her. Keep her. Be with her.

“This is done, Aaron. I can’t do a fake relationship anymore.” Her usual warm gaze was long gone. There was no heat behind her eyes. Sadness, sure, but…a determination I knew well. I had just never borne the brunt of it. She clutched her neck with her free hand. “Last night was my final act.”

Spiraling, my heart stumbled over itself trying to find words, but none came. I just stared at her. Her mouth moved, but I didn’t hear it. “Did you hear me? I met someone else.”

She bit her goddamn lip and avoided my gaze.

Act.

Someone else.

This is done.

A sham.

Done.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Anger, so ripe and so raw, ripped through me. It hurt, unlike anything I had ever felt. Like someone had poisoned my blood.

“No.” Her luscious bottom lip trembled. The same one I had sucked and licked hours earlier. “I’m s-sorry.”

“I— Who the fuck…? You’re seeing someone else? You’re sorry?” Each syllable took effort, like cotton balls had forced themselves down my throat, making speech almost impossible. “Who?”

“The tattoo artist.” She avoided my eyes, backing toward the door.

“Tony? Fucking Tony?” I stood, bare-ass naked but not giving a shit. I was beyond mad. “You slept with me, did all last night with me and you’re…you’re seeing another guy? What the fuck, Greta? No.”

“I didn’t cheat on this fake relationship. I would never hurt your future, if that’s what you’re worried about. Your image is fine. But I’m interested in him. I want to explore it. And I can’t with you.”

I had no words. They’d left. All of them.

“Now, I need to go.” Her voice broke at the end, just a little bit, before she ran out of the room. It took me two seconds to snap into gear. Fuck this. We were talking about it. It was Greta. My best friend. We talked about everything and I’d rather die than lose our friendship.

I threw on old jeans and a sweatshirt, forgoing shoes to find her before she was out of view. It didn’t take long. The dumbass didn’t have a jacket and was running in forty-degree weather.

“Greta, goddamn it.” I jogged up to her, the two-second lead she had not enough to escape me. “Stop. I’ll drive you. It’s fucking freezing.”

“N-no. I-I… I’m fine.” She shivered, her teeth chattering. She still refused to meet my eyes. I gripped her arm. Not painfully. “Let me go, Aaron.”

“I’m pissed as fuck at you. But I give a shit so I’m driving you back.” I didn’t wait for some snide remark. I was beyond pissed. Annoyed. Shocked. All of it. And it wasn’t a good combo.

I picked her up, her hands hitting my back as I carried her back toward the house. It wasn’t more than a block and no one was up or out at the time. I ignored her screams. The ridiculous notion of her… No. It couldn’t be true. She was being dramatic.

“Aaron. I swear to god. Put me down, now.”

“You’re being a dumbass. No.” I gripped her tighter. Her resolve lessened and her legs became limp. “I’m driving you home. We’re talking.”

She remained silent until we reached the car. As soon as I set her down, she jumped into the front seat and crossed her arms. She broke my goddamn heart and she’s pissed at me? Fuck that.

“Greta, are you really interested in Tony?” I started the car and waited, hoped and prayed she said no. I needed her to.

“Yes.” A long exhalation filled the silence. “This has been fun, but that’s all it was, right? Fun. Fake. Staged. We both agreed to it.”

Knife to the heart. My own pain masked how she said the words like a question. I selfishly thought how she’d hurt me, and ignored the look of pain that flashed across her face. She continued talking as I headed down the street toward her place. It was amazing how, within twelve hours, I’d gone from the highest to the lowest moment possible. “It started the day I went to get the piercings. I ran into him at one of my shows you didn’t go to. We chatted and, well, I figured I’d like to give it a shot. It’s only ending the sham two weeks early. This means you can go w-wild at New Year’s.”

I glanced at her. The face I loved, wanted, craved was turned away from me. Her brown eyes didn’t meet mine, and when they did, they wouldn’t be filled with love. Not anymore. “Greta.” My voice broke once we got to her parking lot. “Look, I think—”

Her eyes filled with hope. They widened, an expectant look on her face. God, how could I prevent her from being happy, even if it wasn’t with me? She was always honest with me and if she wanted a chance with this guy… I couldn’t stop her. I had no right after everything she’d done for me. I was a selfish guy, but not that selfish. With a throat full of cotton and a stomach filled with rocks, I asked, “Will we still be friends?”

Her face fell. I would’ve preferred a punch to the gut. “Sure, Aaron. I gotta go. Thanks…for everything.”

She got out of the car, not looking back once when she got into the apartment. She’d gone above and beyond for me, playing the game and being my best friend. I shouldn’t feel so miserable. Right?

 

* * * *

 

Aaron: Hey, want to grab a coffee?

 

Greta: Nah, I can’t today. Sorry.

 

Aaron: When’s your next show? Tonight?

 

Greta: Nope, next Saturday.

 

Aaron: Want to grab a drink before or after?

 

Greta: Can’t. Plans already, sorry.

 

Aaron: Are we okay?

 

Greta: We’re fine. Just super busy.

 

Aaron: I want to see my best friend. Tell me when.

 

Great: Soon.

 

I fisted my phone, the urge to smash it against the tile in the kitchen seeming like a damn good idea. Every attempt I had made to talk to her, see her, fuck, even text her had been unsuccessful. How could she, after everything we’d been through, just cut me off?

One week. One week without seeing her or talking to her and I was about to lose my goddamn mind. My world felt off-balance, the yin and the yang not aligning, and I don’t think I smiled the whole time.

Is this what heartbreak is? It sucks. Big-ass balls.

“Dude, you look ready to kill someone.”

“I might.” I nodded at Zade. “You just get back from throwing?”

“Yeah. ’Bout to head over to Callie’s for some grub before the Bears play. You wanna come?”

I froze. I could go and see Greta. “Would they care? I wasn’t asked to come.”

“Hilly, it’s G and C. When have you ever asked?” he scoffed, motioning toward the door. “Let’s go.”

Zade rambled on about the season and the speed he’d increased with his pitches. I wasn’t selfish. I was beyond happy for him, but my mind wasn’t in the right place. I mentally cringed at myself. My dad was getting better, my sister and I were closer, the scouts, my stats, everything was on the up except for Greta. “Hilly, what’s going on?”

“Ah, nothing. Sorry. It’s great to hear about your increased speed, though.”

“I asked how you were doing since the fake relationship ended.” He glanced at me, worry in his eyes. “You haven’t announced it yet, right?”

“Nope. Next week.” The smallest, tiniest flicker of hope filled my chest. What if I can convince her to keep it going?

“It’s not my place, man, but you guys seemed good together.” He parked the car, not letting me respond. He got out and headed up the stairs two at a time. That used to be me. Now— I regretted coming. I was dying to see her. Talk to her. But if she looked at me with cold eyes, I would break.

And I couldn’t do that.

“Hilly, you coming?” Zade’s voice sounded so hopeful. I shrugged. Fuck it. Pain can’t get worse.

I trudged up the stairs to their apartment and the familiar smell hit me. Callie had to be cooking something delicious. I spied her in the kitchen and she gave me a quick hug. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes like it normally did. What the hell?

“Cal, you made enough for all of us, right?” Zade asked the most important question. If I had to suffer through a football game, then I deserved a good meal. I relaxed when Callie nodded.

“Greta’s in her room.”

I knew she’d spoken to me. But I ignored it for three seconds until Zade gave me an odd look. He has no idea. Tanner never opened his big-ass mouth. “Okay. Thanks.”

And so I went into the living room and fought the urge to run. This sucks. Fuck this. God. Why did she have to meet someone else?

But, I knocked on the doorframe. “Hey.”

She sat on her bed, her face lighting up for the briefest of seconds. It was worse than a sucker-punch to the gut. She was so fucking beautiful. But the joy left her face just as quickly. Her hooded eyes were downcast. Every little thing about her made me crazy. Made me want to do things I never imagined. “Aaron.”

No Ronnie. Hilly. A-A-ron. Kick me in the heart, Greta. Do it.

“It’s been a while.” Seven days. Seven days since I touched her. “How’ve you been?”

“Busy.”

“So you’ve said.”

“Yeah. So I’ve said.”

I gripped the back of my neck. Fuck. This was awkward. And miserable. “This sucks ass.”

She chuckled and pulled on the end of her hair. “Yeah. A bit.”

“Are we not friends anymore?” I snapped. “Because this shit wasn’t supposed to end like this. You avoid me. You look like you’d rather be anywhere but here because I’m here. So what gives, Greta? Are we not friends anymore because…” My voice broke a little. “I don’t think I can handle that. I need you in my life.”

Her bottom lip trembled, enough for me to see, but she turned away. “Yeah. We’re friends.”

“Then why ignore me? Why look at me like that?” I pointed at her. My anger, hurt and misery built up inside me. “You decided to walk away. Not me. You.”

Her brown eyes widened. A flicker of something crossed over her face. But she just sucked that bottom lip into her mouth and gnawed it. “It would’ve ended in a week anyway. I got it over with.”

“Because of fucking Tony.” Rage…rage I could barely contain. “That’s why you walked away? After everything we did together.”

“You made it clear, Aaron, we had a fake relationship to help your future.” Her words were hard. Like punches to my gut. She wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, but—”

“But what? The sex was a fun part of it. Additional bonus. You’ve slept around. You know you can just fuck.” Her fiery eyes burned. And it wasn’t with passion.

If I were a smarter guy, I would’ve got her reference. But I wasn’t a smart guy sometimes and right now, all I saw was hurt and anger. My chest hurt in the worst way. “That’s all it was to you?”

She flinched. “What was it to you, Aaron? How do you feel?”

“I miss you and I can’t stand the thought of you with that guy.” There. I said it. My heart raced. Maybe…maybe things would go back to normal.

She ran her tongue over her teeth with a sneer. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry you’re having a little bit of jealousy but how do you think it’ll look t-to Tony if I’m constantly hanging around my so-called ex?”

Oh god. “So. That’s it.”

“For now, yeah.” She pushed her long hair out of her eyes and, with a shaky hand, held up the phone. “Excuse me, I need to take this.”

She walked out of her room. She left me there with all the memories and laughter, pictures of the two of us all over the room. When did it become real for me? Why did I think…why did I think it was real for her, too?

I’m a fool.

I deserve this.

“Hilly—you ready to eat, bro?”

Zade’s cheerful voice snapped me from the guilty pit of misery my brain went to. I took a deep breath. I’d lived without being in a relationship my entire life, I could continue doing just that.

I would just do it without the joy that Greta brought. Yeah right—I’ll be miserable.