The door closed behind him. Felix and Nancy stared at each other and he dropped his gaze first.
‘There’s one neighbour I won’t be spending time with.’
‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’ His voice was cold.
‘What happened? You saw what happened.’
‘I mean, when he said you were comforting him…’ He stopped.
‘What are you asking?’ She looked at his wretched face and took pity on him. ‘He told me he and Kira had had a fling and he thought that’s why she killed herself.’ Nancy snorted. ‘Anyway, he cried, and then he came on to me while he was still crying.’
Felix took his heavy, rain-speckled coat off and sank into the sofa.
‘This flat isn’t working out very well, is it?’
‘You mean because one neighbour killed herself and another tried to get me into bed?’
‘I wanted to give you a safe place.’
‘Don’t take everything on yourself.’ She sat on the sofa beside him and sighed. ‘We have to do things together.’
‘Of course.’
‘Seamus said the rest of the house have all talked to the police. Why haven’t they talked to us?’
‘They have.’
‘What?’
‘They talked to me.’
‘But I was here the whole evening.’
‘I went down to them and said you shouldn’t be bothered. I could speak for us both. They seemed to understand.’
Nancy wasn’t sure how to respond to this.
‘After all, you didn’t have anything to say,’ Felix continued.
‘How do you know?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Maybe I’ve got things to say.’
‘You want to go to the police.’ He spoke warily. ‘About Kira.’
‘Yes.’
‘Why is that, Nancy?’
She flinched at his exaggeratedly polite tone.
‘Because I’ve been thinking, maybe her death isn’t so straightforward.’
Felix stared at her.
‘What makes you say that?’
‘Because her mother said she’d been happy and excited about the future.’
‘You’ve met Kira’s mother?’
‘She came here.’
‘But you didn’t know her.’
‘I gave her coffee. She sat at the table and cried. Screamed. I’ve never heard anyone make a noise like that before.’
‘That’s awful.’
‘Her daughter had died.’
‘It’s terrible, but why would you want to talk to the police?’
‘Her mother said she was happy.’
‘Her mother can tell that to the police. Not you. You’ve never even met her.’
‘I did meet her.’
‘You met Kira? When?’
‘The day after we moved in. Sunday.’
‘You never said.’
Nancy shrugged. ‘I bumped into her as I was coming home in the afternoon. She seemed scared or in some kind of trouble.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me this?’
Nancy went and stood by the window. In the darkness, people moved like shadows through the carpet of slippery leaves; cars sent up arcs of water from puddles as they sped past.
‘I didn’t take it seriously,’ she said.
‘There you are then. Look, it’s very natural that seeing her mother like this has…’
‘No. Listen. I’d had a bit of a bad afternoon.’ She felt rather than saw him stiffen. ‘That’s why I went for a walk.’
‘What do you mean, a bad afternoon?’
‘Just a bad afternoon.’
‘Do you mean the old trouble?’
‘It was barely anything and it didn’t last long.’
He walked across and took her by the shoulder, turned her so that they were looking at each other.
‘It started happening again and you didn’t tell me?’
‘I’ve got it under control.’
‘What does that even mean?’
‘I went to see the doctor yesterday and he’s increased the dose a bit. He always said these drugs need micro-managing. So we’ve micro-managed them.’
‘Yesterday?’
‘And my old therapist fitted me in for a top-up session.’
‘You did all this yesterday?’
‘Yes.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You should be pleased. You’re always telling me to take it seriously. I took it seriously.’
‘Were you ever going to tell me?’
‘I’m telling you now.’
‘Only because this new idea has popped into your head, and you needed to come clean about meeting Kira.’
‘Going to see my doctor is not some kind of dirty little secret.’
‘You’re making it seem like a dirty little secret.’
‘I didn’t want to worry you,’ she said, her voice tight. ‘I didn’t want it to be like this.’
‘It’s only like this because you did it behind my back.’
‘This isn’t about you. Or me. It’s about a woman who’s died.’
‘Did you actually see her, or was she part of your episode? That’s why you didn’t tell me. Because you didn’t know if it was real or not.’
Nancy hesitated. Felix was right. She hadn’t been sure, but she was sure now.
‘When it happened,’ she said at last, feeling her way cautiously, ‘it’s true that I mixed her up with the other voices and faces.’
‘Exactly. And then when Kira died, you made all these false connections to give external reality to something that was just inside your head.’
‘I saw her shoes.’
‘What? Her shoes?’
‘I know I saw them. Boots, rather. Green with yellow laces. That’s why I was so freaked out when I got a glimpse of her hanging in the doorway. It was the same green boots. I know.’
‘Don’t you see what you’re doing?’
‘Then I asked Ruth – Kira’s mother – to show me a photo, and I know it was the same woman and she thought she was in danger. Or I was. Or something.’
She stopped as she saw the look on his normally calm and pleasing face.
‘Let me get this right,’ he said, speaking loudly and distinctly as if she was hard of hearing or had only just started to learn the language. ‘You have a psychotic episode. You hear voices. One of those voices belonged to a woman. You come back home and say nothing about it. You go to your psychiatrist the next day and to your therapist as well. Then when you see poor Kira hanging there and you meet her mother, suddenly all the things you heard and saw two days ago come together and you decide the voice belonged to the dead woman and that she was telling you she was in danger – or you were.’
‘You’re putting it in an unfair way,’ said Nancy, trying to keep her voice calm.
‘And now you want to talk to the police about it.’
‘Yes,’ said Nancy.
‘Think carefully about this, Nancy, very carefully.’
‘Don’t talk like that. I’m not a child. I need to talk to the police and tell them what Kira said to me just before she died.’
‘Right,’ said Felix. ‘If that’s what you want.’
He strode from the room. Nancy subsided onto the sofa. Rage was draining away from her, leaving her feeling slightly restless. She looked around the room. Perhaps they should get a cat. A cat made a place seem more homely. It would lie on her chest and purr when she was feeling stressed, dig its claws in and out of her skin.
‘I think we should get a cat,’ she said as Felix strode back in, no change in pace as if he had tramped a vigorous circle round the flat and was now on his second lap. He was clearly still steaming with anger.
‘I called them,’ he announced as he came to an abrupt halt in front of her.
‘What?’
‘I called the police.’
‘Why on earth would you do that?’
‘First you want me to and then you’re cross because I have.’
‘I was going to call them myself, obviously.’
‘Now you don’t have to.’
‘That’s not the point.’
‘An officer will be here soon.’
‘You’re joking.’
‘Have you changed your mind?’
‘I didn’t think it would happen so quickly.’
‘But it’s urgent,’ he said. ‘A woman has died.’
He sounded sarcastic and angry.
‘Felix,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘This is horrible.’
He nodded stiffly.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It wasn’t right.’
She waited. He puffed his cheeks, then let out a deep breath.
‘I shouldn’t have lost my temper,’ he said eventually.
‘But there are some things I need to do by myself. You can’t speak for me. I am not obliged to tell you every single thing that happens in my head. I can’t live like that. You do see that, don’t you?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I just worry.’
‘I know you do.’