Nancy dressed in her velvet jumpsuit and black boots, put on a touch of make-up and red lip gloss, let her hair loose.
‘You look nice,’ said Felix.
‘Thank you.’
‘But you might be cold.’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Anyway, we won’t stay long.’
They walked up the road together, hand in hand. The rain had stopped but a cold wind blew against their faces.
‘It might snow,’ said Felix.
‘That looks like Michelle and Dylan,’ said Nancy, pointing at the figures ahead of them.
‘Probably. I think the whole road gets invited.’
Sure enough, when they got inside the little house, which was already crammed with people and noisy with talk, Nancy saw that not only were Michelle and Dylan there, so too were Barney and Seamus, standing with a blonde woman and laughing at something she was saying. Her heart sank.
She took hold of a glass of mulled wine and breathed in the lovely smell of cinnamon and cloves. Felix put a hand over the top.
‘Should you?’ he asked gently.
‘I’ll just have a sip,’ she said.
‘Well, it’s up to you. Be careful.’
‘Yes, Felix,’ she said.
And she was: very, very careful. She would tiptoe through these days, not put a foot wrong. And then she would vanish from Felix’s life and people would wonder how she could leave such a kind and loving man, who had sacrificed so much for her. She patted him on the shoulder.
‘You don’t need to worry about me,’ she said.
She talked to a woman who used to be in a circus, a drunk man who said her hair was the colour of summer rain, an entwined couple who invited her to their wedding though they didn’t know her name. She talked briefly to Barney, whose speech was slurred and who held her hand and gazed at her as if she held the key to the universe. She avoided Harry, who looked tired and grumpy and had obviously come straight from work. On the stairs on her way down from the bathroom, she talked to the man who owned the house. He was wearing a pink shirt and a Santa Claus hat and was sweating profusely.
‘I’m Jonathan,’ he said. ‘Jonnie.’
‘Nancy. Thanks for this.’ She gestured at the room of people.
‘We’ve not met before, have we?’
‘I’ve only lived on the road for a few weeks.’
‘People come and go,’ he said. ‘Blink and you miss them. We’ve lived here for eleven years, more than almost anyone. Not as long as Michelle and Dylan, of course. Have you met them?’
‘Yes.’
‘Terrible what happened in the house next door to them. Did you hear about it?’
‘Yes, I heard.’
‘You never know what’s going on in other people’s lives, do you?’ Jonnie wiped his brow, then flinched at a glass breaking.
‘Did you meet her?’
‘Yes. In fact, she was here this time last year. Nice girl.’
Woman, thought Nancy, but just nodded.
‘Very lively,’ added Jonnie. ‘I thought she was a bit over the top, to be honest. But then, you know, out of the blue she told me and my wife that she got horribly homesick. I think she was a bit pissed by then. She got quite teary. Said she loved London but she missed her mother and home cooking and she even sometimes missed the rain. Like a child, she was, when she was talking about it. I thought to myself that maybe all the flirting and giggling was an act, a brave face she put on. Then, all of a sudden, she was smiling and laughing again, and when someone put on music, it turned out she was a great dancer.’
Nancy made a sound at the back of her throat. She thought of Kira being homesick, of Kira dancing and laughing, of Kira gazing up at her in terror, of her hanging in the doorway.
‘I wonder what he made of it,’ said Jonnie.
‘Who?’
‘That fellow there. They seemed pretty close. I think they left the party together.’
He was pointing. Nancy followed the direction of his finger.
‘Barney?’ she asked.
‘No. The fellow he’s talking to.’
As if feeling their gaze on him, Felix looked up and for a moment, their eyes locked.
He crossed the room to them. Nancy heard Jonnie give a small grunt.
‘Time to go,’ Felix said, putting a hand on her arm.
‘I’m having a nice time,’ said Nancy.
‘You don’t want to overdo it. She’s been unwell,’ he added to Jonnie.
Jonnie looked from Nancy to Felix, his brow furrowed.
‘I didn’t mean…’ he began.
‘I know.’ Nancy smiled at him. ‘It’s fine.’
‘What were you talking to Jonnie about?’
‘Nothing much. The road and how it’s changed.’
‘That’s London,’ said Felix. ‘People get pushed further and further out. It’s one of the reasons it’ll be good to leave.’
‘Did you go to their party last year?’
‘Me? Not that I remember. Why?’
‘Just wondering.’
They walked down the road together, Felix holding her hand again and their steps in time. It was very dark. The moon was almost full; the stars seemed to fizz when Nancy looked up at them.
So, a year ago, Felix had been to the party and left with Kira. He had quite often visited the flat when his friend lived there. He had met the other occupants of the house and he had never denied he had met Kira as well, so why pretend otherwise? It couldn’t be simply because he had thought Nancy would be suspicious if he was friendly with a young woman. She had loads of male friends; she wasn’t a jealous person. In fact, she had always wanted Felix to go out with his own group more.
‘Home,’ he said.
A nasty little flat in a house full of people who Nancy disliked or distrusted.
‘Lovely,’ she said, and he turned the key in the lock.