MEDITATION IN THE SPRING RAIN

In the April rain I climbed up to drink

of the live water leaping off the hill,

white over the rocks. Where the mossy root

of a sycamore cups the flow, I drank

and saw the branches feathered with green.

The thickets, I said, send up their praise

at dawn. Was that what I meant—I meant

my words to have the heft and grace, the flight

and weight of the very hill, its life

rising—or was it some old exultation

that abides with me? We’ll not soon escape

the faith of our fathers—no more than

crazy old Mrs. Gaines, whom my grandmother

remembers standing balanced eighty years ago

atop a fence in Port Royal, Kentucky,

singing: “One Lord, one Faith, and one

Cornbread.” They had a cage built for her

in a room, “nearly as big as the room, not

cramped up,” and when she grew wild

they kept her there. But mostly she went free

in the town, and they allowed the children

to go for walks with her. She strayed once

beyond where they thought she went, was lost

to them, “and they had an awful time

finding her.” For her, to be free

was only to be lost. What is it about her

that draws me on, so that my mind becomes a child

to follow after her? An old woman

when my grandmother was a girl, she must have seen

the virgin forest standing here, the amplitude

of our beginning, of which no speech

remains. Out of the town’s lost history,

buried in minds long buried, she has come,

brought back by a memory near death. I see her

in her dusky clothes, hair uncombed, the children

following. I see her wandering, muttering

to herself as her way was, among these hills

half a century before my birth, in the silence

of such speech as I know. Dawn and twilight

and dawn again trembling in the leaves

over her, she tramped the raveling verges

of her time. It was a shadowy country

that she knew, holding a darkness that was past

and a darkness to come. The fleeting lights

tattered her churchly speech to mad song.

When her poor wandering head broke the confines

of all any of them knew, they put her in a cage.

But I am glad to know it was a commodious cage,

not cramped up. And I am glad to know

that other times the town left her free

to be as she was in it, and to go her way.

May it abide a poet with as much grace!

For I too am perhaps a little mad,

standing here wet in the drizzle, listening

to the clashing syllables of the water. Surely

there is a great Word being put together here.

I begin to hear it gather in the opening

of the flowers and the leafing-out of the trees,

in the growth of bird nests in the crotches

of the branches, in the settling of the dead

leaves into the ground, in the whittling

of beetle and grub, in my thoughts

moving in the hill’s flesh. Coming here,

I crossed a place where a stream flows

underground, and the sounds of the hidden water

and the water come to light braided in my ear.

I think the maker is here, creating his hill

as it will be, out of what it was.

The thickets, I say, send up their praise

at dawn! One Lord, one Faith, and one Cornbread

forever! But hush. Wait. Be as still

as the dead and the unborn in whose silence

that old one walked, muttering and singing,

followed by the children.

For a time there

I turned away from the words I knew, and was lost.

For a time I was lost and free, speechless

in the multitudinous assembling of his Word.