I am a fortunate fellow. Standing at the nexus of several dynamic, creative professions, I have met many extraordinary people. I am privileged to present a work that is liberally seasoned with their ideas. It is a pleasure to publicly thank them.
My sincere thanks go to Debra Haffner, Bennett Hasselton, Bill Taverner, and Larry Walters for reading and commenting on various chapters—frequently on airplanes or while writing their own books and columns, often on tight deadlines. Each of these incredibly accomplished people took the time to challenge me to write better, and to lavish praise on me when I did. Larry also gave me a crash course in First Amendment law, for which I will always be grateful. And I’ll never tell another lawyer joke again.
Many others contributed comments and answered my endless questions. I am touched to have received wise and timely help from Bob Corn-Revere, Clyde DeWitt, Milo and Nancy Fencl, Matt Foreman, Rebecca Fox, Judith Hanna, Phil Harvey, Marjorie Heins, Mitchell Katine, Mark Kernes, Doug Kirby, Raymond Lawrence, Judith Levine, Ricci Levy, Greg Lukianoff, Barry Lynn, Donell McDonell, Robert McGinley, Jeff Montgomery, James Morone, Candida Royalle, Bill Smith, Brant Wenegrat, and Jen Heitel Yakush, very busy people all. Without them this would have been a less compelling book.
Nadine Strossen has honored me by taking this book seriously. Her energy, commitment, courage, and clarity have inspired me from the minute I discovered her many years ago.
“Intellectual posse” may sound pretentious, but it captures the respect and affection I have for the world-class thinkers who supported me before and throughout this process: Larry Hedges, Peter Lehman, Janet Lever, Larry Magid, Jack Morin, and Pepper Schwartz.
I am pleased to thank Michael Carrera, who defines the word “mensch”; Sandra Cole, whose affection is like a purifying flame; and Jim Petersen, whose lessons about combining social science, artistic writing, show business, and a wicked sense of humor I still value and turn to.
While writing the first edition, I told Cynde Moya month after month that I would need her research skills “very soon.” When I finally gave her an entire manuscript to format, and asked for it back within a week, she dropped everything else in her life and prepared a handsome, very useful stack of pages. Gina Lepore provided excellent research assistance on the second edition.
I proposed writing this book over a decade ago, but agents and publishers assured me there was no market for it. Over the years I burned to write it, but often became frustrated and considered giving up. My friends (and veteran sexologists) Michael Castleman and Vena Blanchard never let me forget how much I needed to complete this book, and urged me to persist. They were right. I am grateful to each of them.
Thanks to Judy Kuriansky for bringing me to the attention of Debbie Carvalko at Praeger, and thanks to Debbie for recognizing the value of my work. Debbie’s continued participation in the second edition was a key factor in my decision to undertake it.
My wise and dear friend Veronica Randall read every sentence of every chapter (except this one) at least once, alternately massaging and wrestling with many of them. As a result this book is easier to read, and so you and I are both very much in her debt.
I greatly appreciate my agent, Will Lippincott. In addition to being smart, effective, and committed to my professional well-being, he’s a charming, urbane guy. And really smart.
Finally, I thank my wife Randi—who, just by being herself, did everything a partner could possibly do to help me write this. I may be the one who writes about the human race, but she is the one who understands it. Like I said, I’m a fortunate fellow.