The familiar expression culture war is part of the problem.
It suggests two sides of equal strength lined up in a series of battles, honoring more or less the same rules of engagement, wanting to conquer each other.
But what we commonly call the culture war is not like this at all. Those who fear and hate sexuality (erotophobes) are attacking those who appreciate or tolerate sexuality (erotophiles). And while erotophiles are not attempting to force erotophobes to live more sexually adventurous lives, erotophobes insist that both sides—everyone—live according to their erotophobic values. Erotophiles say, “If you don’t want to go to a nude beach, don’t go, but don’t shut it down to prevent me from going.” Erotophobes say, “I don’t want to go to a nude beach, and I don’t want you to have the option of going either. It should be closed.”
While erotophobes acknowledge this recurring theme—that there’s a huge range of opportunities for erotic stimulation, satisfaction, and imagination that they want to deny everyone, not just themselves—erotophobes also claim, paradoxically, that they are victims.
They say they are the ones who are tired of being attacked, their values and way of life undermined. Through so-called indecent entertainment, changing fashions, easy Internet access, a range of contraceptive technologies, and the occasional court decision, they say they are being force-fed sex. They can’t, they say, turn on a TV, go to a mall, boot up a computer, or even go to work without being assaulted by sexual images. And that when they aren’t being confronted literally, they are still forced to abide others’ private sexual activity next door and all over America—behavior that is immoral, disgusting, and sinful.
This is, undoubtedly, true for them—but irrelevant to the governance of America. Nowhere in our founding documents is there any mention of regulating anything considered immoral, disgusting, or sinful. In fact, the United States was founded on the idea that people could choose what to do and with whom to associate based on their personal values and ideals—not those of a king, feudal lord, or religious hierarchy. Nor even, as James Madison declared, a tyrannical majority in their own town, state, or country.
When our fellow citizens say they want to eliminate entertainment, fashion, medical technology, bedroom activity, and businesses that are “immoral” or “sinful,” they are calling for a dramatic shift in American law. Such major changes in the rules of American life would bring us far closer to modern Saudi Arabia, the former Soviet Union, Taliban-era Afghanistan, and Nazi Germany.
Historically, American society has tried to balance the needs of individual freedom and community responsibility. And so you can’t yell “fire” in a crowded theater. Another fundamental American principle is that the law should address actual crime and actual victims, and it should be drafted in ways that limit unwanted or unanticipated consequences when solving a problem.
Today’s War on Sex seeks to change this balance, and it has already succeeded in many ways. Historically, it was against the law for someone to actually kill your cow; now it’s as if there’s also a law against someone thinking about killing your cow, or doing something that makes you worried about someone killing your cow. And so attempting to criminalize abortion, for example, isn’t enough for conservatives; now they are trying to prevent availability of emergency contraception, saying wider distribution would “encourage promiscuity.” Liberals rush in with scientific data that clearly shows it won’t, and one more battle is joined. As is common, the erotophobes have no data with which to counter—but they do have “concerns” and “feelings,” which are now considered seriously in public policy debates.
We must ask directly: So what if a medication does encourage promiscuity? In a country devoted to individual choice, this shouldn’t be a problem. And yet sexual jihadists have actually made this a consideration in American policy debates. The latest example is their successful attempt to block preteen girls from getting the HPV vaccine that would prevent cervical cancer. The Religious Right and “morality” groups don’t claim the vaccine doesn’t work, just that it will make teens less scared of sex (?) and thus promote “promiscuous” behavior.
Although our modern country requires drivers to wear seatbelts in case of accidents, has school athletes wear helmets in case they fall awkwardly, and establishes poison centers in case toddlers get into cleaning supplies, erotophobes don’t want to reduce the consequences of unauthorized, unprotected, or unwise sex. They say that doing so encourages bad sexual choices. That’s like saying seat belts encourage dangerous driving, and poison centers encourage sloppy parenting.
The politically powerful in America know that if you can get people looking at the wrong questions, it doesn’t matter what answers they come up with. And so those who are trying to “clean up” America say they’re fighting for a number of critical reasons: children, the family, marriage, morals, education, community safety. And now they argue that their actions promote “fiscal responsibility.” But none of this is true. It’s really a war against sexuality: sexual expression, sexual exploration, sexual arrangements, sexual privacy, sexual entertainment, sexual health, sexual safety, sexual imagination, sexual pleasure. Sexual options.
Most Americans care about their children, families, morals, and community safety. They are, understandably, easily drawn into a social conflict using terms like these, focused on the things that matter to them and about which they often feel powerless or confused. And so religious and other conservatives have Americans lined up behind them fighting a war that is not in their best interest. The public is manipulated into fighting sexual expression, not sexual ignorance or poor sexual decision-making. It then supports public policy that often defeats its own ostensible purpose. Kids who learn abstinence-only have just as much sex—only they use condoms less often. Limiting the availability of contraception doesn’t reduce sexual activity—it just increases unwanted pregnancy. Closing swing clubs doesn’t decrease swinging—it just destroys the ongoing community that provides safety, supervision, and dependable social norms.
Some people say that Americans are stupid, that we don’t really care about the facts. I believe Americans do care about facts—but we need a context in which to understand these facts. When it becomes clear that the culture wars are not being fought on our behalf to preserve our families, but are being fought against us to undermine our expression, health, and choices, Americans will care about the facts.
Today’s domestic conservative/fundamentalist political and social movements present a clear (though horrifically distorted) picture of sexuality. It’s a narrative of danger and, therefore, of fear; a narrative of sin and, therefore, of self-destructiveness. Erotophobes typically describe their fear in socially acceptable terms: protecting children, supporting marriage, preventing disease, honoring women, sympathizing with the problematic “male sexual psyche.”
But they really fear sexuality, as they understand it—its awesome power, the temptation to sin, the inevitable destructive decision-making surrounding it, the clear distinction between acceptable activities and unacceptable activities. So they have launched a War on Sex—not just against their own sexuality—against everyone’s. Their goals are consistent, their strategy coherent. They can frame it in any civic language they want, but it’s actually a War on Sex.
As Jeffrey Kuhner, president of the Edmund Burke Institute explains, “Liberals want to create a world without God, and sexual permissiveness is their battering ram. Promoting widespread contraception is essential to forging a pagan society based on consequence-free sex.”1
The goal of this war is to control sexual expression, colonize sexual imagination, and restrict sexual choices. It seeks to restrict our choices and shape the political/cultural/psychological environment in which we make those choices. It is, at this moment, changing our norms, culture, laws, vocabulary, and our very emotions.
In their never-ending quest to eliminate as much eroticism from American life as possible, erotophobes have enlisted the aid of the largest government in the history of humanity—contemporary American government. Their allies include school boards, zoning commissions, city councils, state legislatures, military leaders, the U.S. Congress, and a series of American presidents. After a near lifetime of self-admitted drinking and sexual carousing, President Bush proudly aligned himself with this side, saying he prays—literally—for a day when those who want to mind their own business (and allow others the same privilege) are conquered by those who want to mind everyone’s business, imposing their fears and values on the vanquished.
The outcome of these historic battles will determine how our children live—today, and for decades to come. It will determine what books they read in school, what they learn to fear, what private entertainment they’re allowed to enjoy, what they know about their bodies, and how much they control their own fertility.
Millions of Americans are afraid of sex. Some admit it, some don’t. Millions more hate sex. Again, some admit it, some don’t. To deal with their fear and hate, some have declared a war on it. Some admit this, some don’t.
If you’re interested in sex, you’re part of the war whether you like it or not. If you watch TV, use a sex toy, go to the movies, need an abortion, own a Web site, play sex games in bed, use contraception, enjoy spicy online chat, need a physician, or have a child in school, the cannons in the War on Sex are pointed at you.
This book is about that war.
America’s pluralism is hated by fundamentalists around the world—including those right here in America. And sexuality is among the last human activities to enjoy the extraordinary, revolutionary promise of American pluralism. So this book is named America’s War on Sex, not Congress’s War on Sex or Newt Gingrich’s War on Sex or The Catholic War on Sex. Because America’s two centuries of history have been liberating more and more people to drink from the astounding well of democracy. Because it is imperative that we start asking the right questions, right now. And then the answers will matter.
And then we’ll end the War on Sex.