Chapter 9

Cedric left the morning after Midwinter, and the exam results were in a few days later. They arrived with Jasper and Miss Garrison, one of the Glittering Court’s dressmakers. She immediately wanted to start designing our themed wardrobes. Mistress Masterson strode in sedately to the library, where we all waited anxiously in neat, orderly rows. She propped up the framed list on the mantel and then stepped back. There was a moment of hesitation, and then we broke rank to crowd forward and look.

The list showed the scores for all girls across the four manors. I immediately found my name, exactly in the middle, as I’d once hoped. It was a fine score, and scores only helped in the Glittering Court’s promotion in Adoria. A prosperous man entranced by a girl’s looks might not care how she ranked in the exams—but those with the highest scores would have more opportunities to meet said gentlemen.

Mira, standing beside me, let out a small exclamation of delight. I found her name several above mine, in a very respectable seventh across all manors—and one spot higher than Clara. “Can you believe it?” Mira asked. “Maybe I won’t have to clean floors after all.” Around us, the room was buzzing with other girls’ chatter.

I hugged her. “Of course I can believe it. You’ve been so worried about the accent, but you’ve worked so hard in all the other—”

The wail of a familiar voice drew me up short. I immediately spied Tamsin standing on the opposite side of the group, her eyes wide. She turned to Mistress Masterson incredulously. “How am I ranked third? The girls above me have the same score as me!” A quick study of the list showed two girls from other manors in the first and second spots.

“Yes,” Mistress Masterson agreed. “You all tied—it was very impressive. Really, what it came down to is aesthetics.” She nodded toward Miss Garrison. “Winnifred, the first girl, would look so lovely in the diamond coloring. Ruby’s the next most precious stone, and that obviously wouldn’t suit you with your hair. So third, as a sapphire, seemed like—”

“Sapphire?” interrupted Tamsin. “Sapphire? Everyone knows green is my best color. Isn’t an emerald rarer than a sapphire?”

“My green fabric hasn’t arrived yet,” said Miss Garrison. “Isn’t likely to show until about a week before you sail.”

Mistress Masterson nodded. “And the categories are flexible—it’s more of a gemstone range we’re going for. We thought it best just to go forward with sapphire so that she could start on your wardrobe. Otherwise, she’d be working at the last minute.”

Tamsin fixed the seamstress with a sharp eye. “Well, maybe she could just sew a little damned faster.”

“Tamsin!” snapped Mistress Masterson, shifting back to the stern instructor we knew. “You are out of line. You will take sapphire and be grateful that you’re among the top three. And you will watch your language.”

I could tell Tamsin was still upset, but she took a deep breath and visibly calmed before speaking again. “Yes, Mistress Masterson. I apologize. But I can retake the exams I did poorly on, right?”

“Yes, of course. Every girl can. Though, I’ll be honest, with a ninety-nine percent rating, there’s isn’t much else to achieve.”

“Perfection,” replied Tamsin.

Most of the girls were content with their scores. Even the lowest ranked would still be dazzlingly displayed in Adoria, and enduring exams again wasn’t so appealing.

Miss Garrison and her assistants set about measuring everyone and holding fabric swatches to them as other gemstone themes were decided. I approached Mistress Masterson and asked if I could retake the exams.

“Certainly,” she said, looking surprised. As mediocre as I’d always been, this initiative had to be unexpected. She rifled through some papers and produced one that broke down my scores, detailing each area. “Which would you like to retake?”

I barely glanced at the sheet. “All of them.”

“All?” she repeated. “That almost never happens.”

I shrugged by way of answer.

She pointed to a couple of scores. “You performed very well in these areas. I doubt there’s any need.”

“I’d still like to do it.”

She hesitated and gave a curt nod. “It’ll take a bit of scheduling for you to meet with all the instructors, but it’s every girl’s right. Between you and me, in all the time I’ve done this, most girls who retake an exam only go up a few points. Miss Garrison and I currently have you placed as an amethyst, and her purple fabrics are gorgeous. It’s unlikely your score would shift enough to warrant a new theme, and would you really want one?”

“I want to retake them,” I reiterated.

“Very well. But in the meantime, we’ll still have you fitted so Miss Garrison can start on the amethyst wardrobe.”

She was right about the fabrics. Of all the ones Miss Garrison had brought, the amethyst ones were among the most beautiful. She held up swathes of lavender silk and purple velvet, clucking in approval each time.

But an amethyst girl wouldn’t give Cedric the commission he needed.

“You’ve got the coloring to pull off anything,” she remarked. “For some of the other girls, the originally planned palettes aren’t going to work.”

Mira was one such case. They’d decided her theme would be topaz, but after having her try some of the fabrics, it was clear the yellow-brown fabrics just didn’t suit her. “Deep reds are the way to go,” Miss Garrison told Mistress Masterson. The dressmaker’s gaze fell on Clara. “We could switch them—give Mira garnet.”

Jasper, observing the conversation, nodded in agreement. “It’s a little more of a common stone, so it might be fitting.”

I didn’t have a chance to be affronted by the insult to my friend because Clara’s scowl told me how much the change upset her. That made up for a lot. Afterward, I heard her mutter to Caroline, “I hate yellow. It always makes me look sickly.”

Tamsin was one of the last to complete her fittings, largely because she kept pointing out how unacceptable the blue fabric was. When she finally finished and walked up to our room with us, she muttered, “I can’t wait until the retakes put me at the top. Then they’ll see what a bad choice they made. I’d look just as good in white as green.”

I stumbled on the stairs and had to catch the railing for support. In my plan to retake the exams, I somehow hadn’t considered Tamsin. If I managed to vault myself to the top of the list, where would that put her? Her words rang in my ears: You don’t know what I have on the line.

No, I didn’t. But I knew what Cedric had on the line. His life. No matter how dire, could Tamsin really have anything comparable to that? And was it really dire? Her feelings had seemed genuine the day of the family visit, but I’d seen a lot of theatrics from her in our time together. Was her fixation to be the best just a matter of pride? A yearning for riches?

I had to choose between them. My best friend or . . . who? The man who’d helped save me? No matter where Tamsin placed, she’d have a prosperous future in Adoria. My placement could affect Cedric’s life. There was only one choice I could make.

Content with her scores and theme, Mira was able to relax in the days that followed, spending a lot of time engrossed in her beloved tome of adventures. Tamsin and I, however, endured the stress of retaking our exams as our various instructors scheduled time throughout the week among all the manors. Like Mistress Masterson, Tamsin was baffled that I’d retake all of them.

“Why would you do that?” she asked on our way to the dance exam. “You think things will change? And why would you want them to? Your clothes look great on you. Not like some of us.”

I had to look away, still feeling guilty in spite of my resolve. “I just need to see what I can do.”

Miss Hayworth met with us and Caroline, the only other girl retaking the dance exam, in the ballroom. “Same format as before. We’ll go through every single dance and see if you’ve improved.”

Tamsin had marginally improved in the step that continually gave her trouble. For some reason, the beats tripped her up. Caroline hadn’t improved at all. In fact, she did worse, but luckily, Mistress Masterson would only count the highest of her two scores.

And me? Well, I was something else altogether.

It was hard to say who among the three of them was the most astonished. I executed every dance perfectly on both technical and artistic levels, and it was a relief to finally let my true self show through. I’d spent most of the last year hiding what I could do with the façade I’d created. Now, all the years of instruction and formal parties came back to me, and I actually enjoyed myself.

The other exams had similar results. As before, the written ones allowed me to conceal my answers from my housemates. But in the public tests, all my “new” skills were on display for my peers. Since no other girl was retaking every single exam, no one else really got a full sense of how well I did in each subject.

That all changed when the results came in the following week.

There was no posted list this time, simply a meeting called by Mistress Masterson in the drawing room. We lined up in our rows. Jasper Thorn was with her again, and both of them wore expressions that weren’t grave so much as . . . perplexed. Just as she was about to speak, Cedric came hurrying in. I’d neither seen nor heard from him in the last couple of weeks, leaving me to wonder what his plans were for our painting project.

I saw him murmur what looked like an apology as he took his place beside his father. Jasper said nothing, maintaining that pleasant cover he always had in public with his son.

Mistress Masterson nodded a greeting to him and then turned to address us. “I know some of you have been waiting for your retake results, so you’ll be pleased they’re in. Most of you showed improvement—for which I’m particularly proud. But there was nothing significant enough to warrant a change in rank or theme.” She paused. “With one exception.”

Beside me, Tamsin straightened up, lifting her chin proudly. I could feel her trembling with excitement as she awaited the news that she’d trumped the two girls who’d beat her on the list.

“Adelaide,” said Mistress Masterson, her gaze falling heavily on me. “The improvement you showed is . . . remarkable, to put it mildly. I’ve never, ever seen a girl make such a leap in scores. And . . . I’ve never seen a girl get a perfect overall score.” She let those words sink in, and I felt the eyes of everyone in the room upon me. Tamsin’s were widest of all. “We rarely have theme changes based on retakes, though of course it happens. And in this case, it’s absolutely warranted.”

Jasper stepped forward, taking the lead from her. He was as ostensibly cheerful as ever, but somehow, I didn’t think he was overly thrilled about the turn of events. “Adelaide, my dear, you’ve replaced Winnifred from Dunford Manor as our diamond. Everyone else who scored above your last result will move down a notch. All girls will still keep their gemstone themes, with a few exceptions.”

“As Master Thorn said, you’ll have diamond,” Mistress Masterson explained. “You and Winnifred are of similar size, and Miss Garrison should have little difficulty fitting you into her clothes. Since her score was so high, it’d hardly seem fair to assign her a semiprecious stone like the amethyst. We think she’ll show best as a sapphire, and we’ve done a couple of other last-minute switches—which means, Tamsin, you can be an emerald after all. Miss Garrison expects the green fabric to arrive next week, and she and her assistants will work around the clock to make sure you’re properly outfitted.”

Tamsin still looked dumbstruck, like Mistress Masterson was speaking a different language. “But . . . if the ranks shifted, then that means . . . I’m fourth.”

“Yes.”

It was a rare moment of Tamsin being stunned into silence, and I felt a lump in my throat. Jasper, seeing her dismay, gave her a stiff smile. “You’ll dazzle them as an emerald. Even if you aren’t invited to all the elite parties, I know you’ll be in high demand. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of all my girls—though it looks like my son managed to find the top jewel this season.” Jasper didn’t sound particularly proud of that. The top three had previously been all his acquisitions.

With the sudden dramatic turn of events, I’d nearly forgotten Cedric was here. I looked at him now and saw that he was quite possibly the most shocked person in the room. He couldn’t even fake a smile.

Jasper gave a few more encouraging words for the whole group, telling us how excited he was to take us to Adoria next week. He had significant trade to do and had chartered two ships for the journey. We’d be traveling with the girls from Guthshire Manor. Swan Ridge and Dunford would be in the other ship.

When we were dismissed, a flurry of excitement broke out, and I was immediately swarmed by girls wanting to know how I’d achieved such a feat. It was a relief when Mistress Masterson pulled me away to discuss a few logistics.

“It really is remarkable,” she told me in the privacy of the study. “Master Jasper wondered if there might be some deceit involved, but I told him if you’d found a way to cheat in playing the harp or dancing the Lorandian two-step, then that itself deserved some sort of reward. Remarkable.”

I swallowed. “I guess I just learned more than I realized. A lot of lessons from when I was a lady’s maid came back to me.”

“Well, we’ll all work hard to get these initial bumps fixed. I think it should come together fairly easily. The diamond attire is all white and silver, which will look nice on you as well. You’ll have to set aside some extra time for Miss Garrison to alter the clothes for you this week.”

“It’s no problem,” I said, still stunned at just how well my plan had worked. “Let me know what you need from me.”

Cedric appeared in the doorway, his earlier shock now covered by a jovial grin. “Mistress Masterson, do you mind if I borrow Adelaide when you’re done? I know this change must be a little daunting, and I just wanted to give her some encouragement.”

Mistress Masterson beamed. “Yes, of course. We’re all set.”

Winter still held its grip, but the sun had come out enough to make the day pleasant. Cedric suggested we go for a walk to enjoy the weather, but I suspected he just wanted to ensure we weren’t overheard. I felt small relief that he led us to a grove of hawthorn, rather than the old forest where he’d held the Midwinter ritual.

“What,” he demanded, “have you done? Are you completely out of your mind?”

“I’ve saved you, that’s what I’ve done!” I’d expected surprise but was a little taken aback by his vehemence.

He raked a hand through his hair, messing up where it had been neatly tied in the back. “You weren’t supposed to attract attention. I told you that on the first day! Didn’t you hear Mistress Masterson? No one does this. No one makes a score change that vast. No one gets a perfect score! No one.”

“I—”

“Do you think everyone’s just going to marvel about this?” he continued, pacing around. “Do you think they’ll all just chuckle and shake their heads? Someone’s going to ask questions! Someone’s going to wonder how a lady’s maid from a countess’s house performed so perfectly after months of average behavior! Someone’s going to make the connection that maybe that maid isn’t actually a maid!”

I strode up to him, hands on my hips. “So what if they do? Better I’m caught as a runaway noble than you outed as a heretic! Besides, in a couple of weeks, we’ll be on our way to Adoria. None of this will matter.”

“Don’t be so sure,” he said darkly. “These kinds of things can follow you anywhere.”

“What’s the worst that can happen? They haul me back to Grandmama? I’d rather that than you on the Osfro gallows!”

“You don’t think they’d hang me for kidnapping a peeress of the realm?” he asked, leaning toward me.

“No. I’d make sure you were innocent of any involvement. I’d take the full blame—but it’s not going to happen. Even if someone follows us to Adoria, I’ll be married before they can lay claim to me. And that,” I added proudly, “is the whole point of this. These scores are just the beginning. Wait until I’m there. I’ll dazzle them all. There’ll be a bidding war. I’ll have men eating out of my hand.”

“I don’t doubt it,” he grumbled.

“Don’t make fun of me,” I returned. “Because of what I’ve done, you’ll get the biggest commission of the season. You can even have some of my surety money. Maybe it won’t cover your whole stake in Westhaven, but it’ll certainly make things easier if the painting scheme falls through.”

He looked me over and declared, “Nothing involving you has ever been easy.”

I balled my fists at my sides. “The words you’re looking for are ‘Thank you, Adelaide, for going to all this trouble to help me out.’”

“The risk is too great.” He shook his head. “You shouldn’t be doing this.”

And as I spoke, I realized he wasn’t talking about the risk to himself. He wasn’t really concerned about being implicated in my disappearance. It was exposing me as a fraud and taking me away that he wanted to prevent.

“Why shouldn’t I?” I said. “After what you did for me. You saved me, Cedric. I was drowning back there in Osfro. Of course I should do this. I’ll do more, if that’s what it takes to keep you alive in spite of yourself.”

He’d been regarding me very intently as I spoke, as though he couldn’t quite believe my words. At that last bit, his face broke into a smile, finally easing the tension. “In spite of myself?”

“Well, you’re the one who chose to complicate your life with heresy.”

“You don’t choose it. It chooses you.”

“If you say so,” I said. I kept my tone light and dismissive, but inside, I was relieved to no longer be fighting with him. “How did it choose you anyway? Don’t take this the wrong way . . . but you don’t really seem like the type who’d think too much about godly affairs.”

He beckoned me toward the house, and I fell in step with him. “A lot of things bothered me about the world, ever since childhood. My parents are married, but they might as well not be. They’ve almost always lived apart, and we were all supposed to pretend that was normal. Emotional reactions weren’t allowed about that or, well, anything. It was all duty and keeping up appearances, just like the traditional churches teach. Then I learned how the six wayward angels aren’t evil—they just govern emotion and instinct, something the rigid priests of Uros fear. I learned it was okay to embrace that emotional side of me—to accept my true nature. That it was okay to let my passions run wild.”

The idea of Cedric and passions running wild was enough to make me momentarily lose track of his ardent explanation.

“And the rest of the Alanzan worship just made sense too,” he continued. “Spirituality without boundaries. All voices heard. Reverence for the natural world. We don’t need to attend lavish services paid for with prayer fees and massive tithes . . . while beggars and others starve outside the cathedrals. It’s not fair for one group to have so much wealth and another so little.”

“I’ve seen your wardrobe choices. You’re no ascetic. And here you are, ironically, doing business with men who are massively wealthy in the New World.”

“But there’s a difference between building wealth through honest business and building it by taking it from those who look to you for hope and spiritual guidance. Don’t you see, Adelaide, the orthodox priests are preaching good will toward all men but actually hoarding—”

“No.” I held up my hand. “Stop now. I can see where you’re going with this. I’ll keep your secrets, but do not try to convert me to your pagan ways.”

He laughed. “Wouldn’t dream of it. But it’s nice to know you draw the line somewhere.”

The house grew closer and closer, and the momentary lightness faded. “I really am sorry if I made things more complicated,” I said softly.

“This was already complicated. Just be careful . . . no one’s safe until you’ve got some wealthy Adorian’s ring on your finger.”

“It’ll be weighted with a diamond,” I told him, earning a return of the smile.

Inside, I was relieved to see that most of the other girls had gone on to their rooms or other tasks, freeing me from a deluge of questions. Or so I thought.

When I got to my room, I found Tamsin and Mira. It was clear they’d been waiting for my return. Tamsin leapt to her feet.

“What have you done?” she cried, echoing Cedric.

“I’m, uh, not sure what you mean.”

“The hell you don’t!” It was a lapse into her former dialect that would’ve scandalized Mistress Masterson. “Has this all been some kind of joke? Coast along and then swoop in at the end to crush everyone else?”

I remembered Cedric’s accusations when I first came here—that I’d treated impersonating Ada as a joke too. Was that how my actions would always be perceived by people? Would I never be taken seriously?

“How did you do that?” continued Tamsin. “How did you score perfectly on everything?”

“I learned a lot of it when I worked in my lady’s house. I was around nobility all the time, and I guess I picked up their ways. You know that.”

Tamsin wasn’t buying it. “Oh yeah? Where were those ways in the last nine months? You’ve botched things continuously—but not always the same things! You run hot and cold, perfect at some things and then failing at the most basic ones. What kind of game are you playing?”

“It’s no game,” I said. “My nerves just got the best of me. Things finally came together during the retakes.”

“Impossible,” she stated. “I don’t understand how or why you’ve been doing this, but I know something’s going on. And if you think you can just ruin my life and—”

“Oh, come on,” I interrupted, switching from defense to offense. “Your life is far from ruined.”

Fury filled her features. “That’s not true. I had it. I was in the top three, and then you came along and pulled that out from under me. You knew how it important it was to me but still went ahead and destroyed everything I’ve worked for.”

I threw up my hands. “Tamsin, enough! I’ve gone along with your theatrics for nine months, but this is going too far. Exactly what in your life has been destroyed? You can converse about current politics, eat a seven-course meal, and play the piano! Maybe you’ll miss out on a few parties, but you’re still going to marry some rich, prestigious man in the New World. You’ve come a long way from being a laundress’s daughter, and if you were my friend, you’d be happy at how far I’ve come too.”

“That’s the thing,” she said. “I can’t tell how far you’ve come. I’ve lived with you all these months but don’t know anything about you. The only thing I’m sure of is that you’ve been lying to us all, and this ‘triumph’ of yours just proves it!”

There was a jumble of emotions in my chest. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. I hated the lies and subterfuge. I wanted to tell Tamsin and Mira about everything. My title. Lionel. Ada. Cedric. Westhaven. Those secrets burned within me, wanting—no, needing—to get out. But I couldn’t let them. The consequences were too great, and so I had to bury them back within me and let that terrible animosity hang in the air.

“Tamsin,” said Mira, speaking up at last. “That’s not fair. What’s wrong with her wanting to do well? It’s what we all want. And she told you, nerves always got the best of her—”

“That’s the biggest lie of all. She’s been fearless from the first day, facing down Clara and traipsing out in the night for holly. The jokes, the carefree air . . . it’s all been a cover.” She pointed an accusing finger at me. “Nerves aren’t your problem. I refuse to be sucked into your web of lies, and I will never have anything to do with you again.”

That drew even diplomatic Mira to her feet. “Isn’t that a little extreme? You’re being irrational.”

“And you’re acting like a child,” I added. The stress of today’s events was catching up with me. Between the shocking announcement, Cedric, and now this, I was having a hard time remaining calm.

Tamsin turned on Mira, ignoring me. “I’m refusing to let her manipulate me like she has everyone else. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll do the same.”

“Tamsin,” pleaded Mira. “Please stop and talk this out.”

“No.” Tamsin moved toward the door and paused to fix me with a stony glare. “I’m never speaking to you again.”

My control snapped. “Should be easy enough—seeing as we’ll be hanging out in different social circles in Adoria.”

She took it like a physical blow but held good to her threat. She didn’t say a word to me, and the only response I got was the slamming of the door as my first real friend stormed away from me.