Sara Jane thoroughly enjoyed herself over the next few days. She went shopping at a lovely boutique in town called Barbara’s… owned by Margaret. She laughed when Margaret told her that Barbara hadn’t owned it for years, but the name never changed, owner to owner.
It was a new experience, picking out clothes that she loved and not taking into account anyone’s opinion but her own. She picked out a multicolored skirt that swirled around her knees. A selection of brightly colored tops. A pair of capris. Steven hated pants that length. Said they were silly. So after remembering his remarks, she went and picked out a second pair. And comfortable flats. No more wearing heels all the time because Steven insisted. Even for her backyard parties, she’d worn heels.
One day she went to the wharf and browsed the shops. There she found a lovely silver bracelet and a print by a local artist named Heather Parker. It was a serene scene of a woman walking on the beach. Not that she had a house to put it in now. But she loved it and bought it. Steven would hate it, but that didn’t matter anymore.
She found a bright wrap and draped it around her shoulders in a bohemian style that thrilled her. Everything she picked out just spoke to her. No more dressing to please someone else. She dressed to please herself, a strange and heady feeling.
Her grandmother had always had a shawl wrapped around her shoulders, and this made her feel strangely connected to the woman again. She’d been raised by her grandmother and missed her terribly, even all these years later. Her grandmother had told her not to marry Steven. That he wasn’t a good match for her. Her grandmother was a wise, wise woman…
She finally called Rachel and told her she just needed some time alone without telling her what had happened. She could tell from Rachel’s voice that she probably had figured it out, though. It wasn’t like Steven’s affairs were much of a secret.
Rachel said that Steven had finally contacted her, asking where Sara Jane was, then yelled at her for not telling him. But Rachel could honestly tell him she had no idea, and they both agreed that was for the best, though worry laced her daughter’s voice. She’d done her best to assure her that everything was fine and she’d be back to Wind Chime soon.
Ronnie was out of town this week, and Rachel would often come by their house when her husband was gone. Sara Jane figured Rachel wasn’t going over to hang out with just Steven. She didn’t mean to worry anyone. And she was certain Steven wasn’t worried. He was furious. But she wasn’t ready to go back. She’d have to soon, to figure out what she was going to do. But not yet.
Thank goodness she’d inherited some stock when her grandmother passed away. Although they’d had hardly any money when she was growing up, her grandfather had still invested in a small company. Her grandmother—never a fan of Steven’s—had put the stock in a trust so he couldn’t touch it. It was worth a nice sum of money now. Not like the ridiculous amount of money Steven’s family had, but enough that she should be able to find a small place to live and take her time figuring out her life from there.
Steven’s family’s money. It had never felt like any of that money was hers. Even when she helped him climb the ladder at work. Even with the countless business dinners she hosted. Even with everything she did to make his home life easy. She took care of the house, handled calling people for repairs, took his clothes to the dry cleaners. Her whole life had revolved around making him a success and making sure everything was just perfect for him at home. Not that he’d ever thought what she did amounted to much. She’d called the wrong repair company, according to Steven. She’d let the dry cleaner over-starch his business shirts. She hadn’t shined the pair of shoes he wanted to wear. The towels weren’t hung perfectly straight. It went on and on.
When Rachel started grade school, Sara Jane wanted to get a part-time job, but Steven had absolutely forbidden it. Why had she let him do that?
He gave her a grocery allowance. An allowance. And she had to run every purchase past him. It was all so tiring, but somewhere along the way, she’d just accepted it as her life. She’d chosen to marry him. She just hadn’t realized the man he really was. While they dated, he was charming, and she said yes to marrying him without any reservations. But it didn’t take long for the real Steven to appear.
She was often the recipient of snide remarks at those business dinners that she worked so hard to host for him. Sometimes she’d see pity in the eyes of the guests. Sometimes they just laughed along with him.
How had she let that go on so long? Why had she? Where was her backbone? How had she slipped into a shadow of the person she’d been when she was younger? And for that, she chided herself. She’d let it happen.
But all that was over now. She’d been in contact with her lawyer and she was determined to start the process of the divorce when she got back to Wind Chime. When she could talk herself into returning. She wasn’t ready for that yet. Though each day she kept expecting Steven to show up and start shouting at her. She wouldn’t be surprised if he hired a private detective to track her down. Rachel said he was beyond furious with her.
He could just be angry. She didn’t care. She was no longer going to dance to the tune he wanted her to follow.
She carried her packages from yet another shopping expedition into her cottage. She hung up the clothes—a few simple blouses. And she was proud of how little she’d spent on her new clothes. Not the designer clothing she wore before. Just nicely made, simple clothes. Comfortable outfits. She slipped on her new bracelet and grabbed the new book she’d picked up. A mystery by Gabe Smith, a new author to her. She rarely found time to read with all the demands that Steven made on her time… plus he rolled his eyes at her if he saw her reading fiction. He still read the paper… in print. And he read some investment magazines. He considered reading fiction a waste of time.
She went outside to the porch, and Violet waved and walked over. “So, did you have a nice time?”
“I did. I bought a few more outfits. And this bracelet I found at a cute little shop on Main Street.” She held out her arm. “They said it was made by a designer named Whitney Layton in Indigo Bay, South Carolina. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Oh, it is. Silver with sea glass chips. What nice workmanship.” Violet admired the jewelry. “I’m glad you had a good time. I was just going to take a break and have some tea out on the porch of my cottage. Would you like to join me?”
“That would be wonderful.”
“Come on over and I’ll get it and be out in a minute.”
She crossed to the owner’s cottage and sank onto one of the wonderful chairs on the porch, vowing to get some chairs just like these when she finally got a place of her own.
Violet brought a tray with a pitcher of tea and two glasses. She sat down and poured their iced tea. “It sure is getting warm, isn’t it?”
“It is. Pretty muggy today. But your ceiling fan out here on the porch stirs it around a bit at least.”
“One of the first things I did when I got this place.”
“How long have you owned it?” She took a sip of the tea. Just the right amount of sweetness.
“Not long. I just recently opened. It used to be called Murphy’s, and it was pretty run down when I got it. Which was lucky, because prices have gone up and I’d never have been able to afford it now. I put in central air-conditioning in each cottage. Repainted. Redid plumbing. Fixed roofs. I feel like I’m slowly making progress. I got it to the point where I thought I could open. But there’s still more I want to do.”
“Well, it’s lovely.”
“It’s getting there.” Violet stretched out her tanned legs.
Sara Jane envied so much about the woman. Her self-assuredness. The fact she owned her own business. “I admire your talent with finding this place and making it so lovely. I saw it on a travel blog when I was looking for a place to stay.”
“Ah, so that’s how you found me.”
“I’ve wanted to come to Moonbeam and stay at The Cabot. I suggested it to my husband once, but his idea of a vacation was a high-rise hotel on Michigan Avenue in Chicago.”
“Ah, to each their own. Not everyone likes staying at an old remodeled hotel.”
“But then I saw your website with the cottages and I just knew I wanted to stay here. Not so large and crowded with guests. I’d have some privacy. And now that—” She paused, not sure if she should continue. But Violet was a good listener, and she could use someone like that right now. “I’ve recently left my husband. I’m staying here until I can figure out what exactly I want to do.”
“I see.” Violet reached over and gently touched her arm.
“He… he wasn’t exactly faithful to our marriage vows. And it was finally one time too many.”
“I’m sorry, that must be painful.” A hint of surprise flitted across Violet’s face, but none of the pity that Sara Jane feared she might get. She didn’t want pity.
“It was. Well, it was the first time I found out. I could barely breathe and it just about did me in. I couldn’t believe he’d do that. But he swore he wouldn’t do it again. Until he did. Then he promised again. I finally got numb to the whole thing. But we’ve been married for over forty years.”
“It takes a lot of strength to walk away from a life you’ve shared with someone, even a life with problems like that. But a woman needs to do what’s right for herself.”
“I’m embarrassed I stayed with him that long. I was so foolish. At first, it was because of Rachel, our daughter. But then she grew up and… I just stayed. I was raised that you live with the consequences of your choices. But I finally just… couldn’t. I mean my husband doesn’t even like me, much less love me. But his family doesn’t believe in divorce. So he just let me take care of his home life and his business parties and…” She dashed away an unexpected tear. “I just never thought this is how my life would turn out. Sometimes I was afraid I’d grow old and just sit out on my front porch, all alone, while Steven was still out running around with one of his women. Was that all I had to look forward to?”
Violet stayed silent, but the support in her silence was deafening.
She looked out into the courtyard with the pretty gardenia bushes and palm trees and one large live oak stretching its limbs out, shading Violet’s porch. So peaceful. If only she could hide out here forever.
She turned back to Violet. “Sometimes I dream about what it would be like to meet some man who saw me for who I really was and liked me just like that. Didn’t want to change me or correct how I do things. Who thought I was pretty.” She shrugged. “Who is going to think that now that I’m in my fifties, with a bit of a menopause paunch, and my hair is graying? Well, it would be if Steven hadn’t insisted I color it.”
“It sounds like you had a lot to deal with.”
“Sometimes it just exhausts me thinking about my life. I have a lot of if-not-for-Steven type thoughts. That’s probably not what most married women think. Or do they? Do you think a lot of women settle for a marriage that doesn’t make them happy? Are you really allowed to be happy? Is your happiness more important than your family’s? I just don’t know anymore. But I do know I can’t go on like things were.”
Violet leaned forward, looking directly into her eyes. “I believe we’re all responsible for our own happiness. We have to make the changes we can to better our lives. Some things we can’t change. Some we can, though. If you go through life looking at the if-onlys but doing nothing about them, then you miss a lot of chances for happiness.” Violet smiled and sat back again. “If I hadn’t jumped in and bought this place—against the advice of everyone, mind you, especially my brother—I couldn’t be as happy as I am with my life right now. I hope you can find your happiness. Find some peace. And please, stay here as long as you need.”
“Thanks for listening to me.”
“Sometimes we just need to talk it out, don’t we?”
And they sat there in the warm afternoon, sipping their tea, and talk turned to lighter subjects. But she’d never forget Violet’s words. “If you go through life looking at the if-onlys but do nothing about them…” Well, she was determined to do something about them. Determined to change the path her life had been on. Find some peace. Find some happiness.
She was divorcing Steven and planned to never step into their house again. She needed nothing from it. She was leaving with a clean slate. She sucked in a deep breath of the fragrant air, feeling alive and energized. Uncertain of what her future looked like, but not at all frightened to find out.