Parenting Styles

• 48-5 What are the four main parenting styles?

Some parents spank, others reason. Some are strict, others are lax. Some show little affection, others liberally hug and kiss. How do parenting-style differences affect children?

The most heavily researched aspect of parenting has been how, and to what extent, parents seek to control their children. Parenting styles can be described as a combination of two traits: how responsive and how demanding parents are (Kakinami et al., 2015). Investigators have identified four parenting styles (Baumrind, 1966, 1967; Steinberg, 2001):

1. Authoritarian parents are coercive. They impose rules and expect obedience: “Don’t interrupt.” “Keep your room clean.” “Don’t stay out late or you’ll be grounded.” “Why? Because I said so.”
2. Permissive parents are unrestraining. They make few demands, set few limits, and use little punishment.
3. Negligent parents are uninvolved. They are neither demanding nor responsive. They are careless, inattentive, and do not seek to have a close relationship with their children.
4. Authoritative parents are confrontive. They are both demanding and responsive. They exert control by setting rules, but, especially with older children, they encourage open discussion and allow exceptions.

AP^® EXAM TIP

It’s understandable if you are struggling to remember the differences between authoritarian and authoritative. Maybe it will help to realize that authoritative parents will engage in a little more give and take, while authoritarian parents do not negotiate. The words give and authoritative both end in the letters ive.

Too hard, too soft, too uncaring, and just right, these styles have been called, especially by pioneering researcher Diana Baumrind and her followers. For more on parenting styles and their associated outcomes, see Thinking Critically About: Parenting Styles.

Parents who struggle with conflicting advice should remember that all advice reflects the advice-giver’s values. For parents who prize unquestioning obedience, or whose children live in dangerous environments, an authoritarian style may have the desired effect. For those who value children’s sociability and self-reliance, authoritative firm-but-open parenting is advisable.

Flip It Video: Attachment Styles and Parenting

Check Your Understanding

Ask Yourself

• How would you describe the style of your parents or primary caregivers? How has this impacted your attachment style or your other traits and behaviors?

Test Yourself

• The four parenting styles may be described as “too hard, too soft, too uncaring, and just right.” Which parenting style goes with each of these descriptions, and how do children benefit from the “just right” style?

Answers to the Test Yourself questions can be found in Appendix E at the end of the book.