This is a work of fiction. All names, places, and characters are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to real people, places, or events is entirely coincidental. In particular, it should be noted that Staten Island is a complete fabrication on the author’s part. If some mansplainer tries to tell you they’ve been there, nod your head and say, “Yeah, buddy, sure you have. And I’ve been to the moon.”
Copyright © 2020 by Andrew Shaffer
All rights reserved. Except as authorized under U.S. copyright law, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.
Full Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data available upon request.
ISBN 9781683692058
Ebook ISBN 9781683692065
Book design by Ryan Hayes, adapted for ebook
Cover illustration by Adam Rabalais
Production management by John J. McGurk
Quirk Books
215 Church Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
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