Chapter 7

 

 

Haven was up now, rubbing her eyes, the smell of fresh coffee and bacon immediately taking over her nostrils. Titus was back. What she didn’t know was how long he’d been back. Did he get here this morning or did he spend the night? If he didn’t spend the night, where did he sleep?

She stretched and glanced at the clock. It was a few minutes after nine. She went to the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her teeth then walked to the kitchen. Titus was sitting at the table, lounged there like he’d been waiting for her.

“Good morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” she replied.

The stiffness in the air was apparent, but neither spoke to it.

“I cooked eggs and bacon. Made coffee.”

Haven looked over at the stove where she saw a plate of bacon strips while the scrambled eggs remained in the frying pan. She walked over to pour coffee instead of touching the food. She didn’t necessarily have an appetite. From the looks of it, neither did he.

She joined him at the table.

He asked, “Do you have to help Kirsten this morning?”

“No.”

“Good, then I’m hoping we can have an open and honest conversation about what happened yesterday. Are you okay with that?”

“That’s fine. We do need to talk.”

“To start, I want to apologize for taking you to that zip-lining park. You weren’t comfortable with it and I’m sorry.”

“That’s part of my problem with us, Titus. I don’t want you to be sorry for doing things you love to do. You shouldn’t have to apologize to anyone for being yourself.”

“I’m not apologizing for being myself. I’m apologizing for making you uncomfortable. I need you to understand that.”

She nodded. “Okay. I get it, but even though that’s the case, in my heart, I know you need a woman who doesn’t mind being pushed beyond her limits—”

“I thought that was you.”

“Titus, I—”

He cut her off again and said, “When we first met, I could sense you needed something more in your life. Something beyond Baker Bed & Breakfast and these mountains. You needed a change of scenery. Needed adventure. We’ve been dating for almost three months and yesterday was the first time—the very first time—you’ve ever declined anything I’ve suggested. I honestly don’t think it was beyond your limitations. If you can ride a ski lift, you can zip line. You just didn’t want to do it. I could already feel something was off with you when we were at dinner with your parents. I asked and you said nothing was wrong. Now, I’m going to ask you again, since now I know, according to your own words, you need a break from me.”

“I didn’t say I needed a break. I said I need some time.”

“There’s no difference,” he relayed calmly. “All I want to know is why. What’s wrong with us?”

“It’s not us,” she explained. “It’s me. In a lot of ways, I feel like I’m just starting out in life. Leaving this Bed & Breakfast is a huge deal for me. It’s almost like, for the first time, I’ll truly be on my own. I’ve never been on my own. Never experienced that. Never experienced much of anything. I question our relationship because I don’t know why an accomplished man like you wants to be with a woman who’s so inexperienced when you could be with a woman who’s more on your level.”

“You’re on my level, Haven. You’re everything I want. You’re talking yourself out of this because you’re afraid of letting go of what’s familiar, and what I don’t want is for you to feel like you’re not ready to be with me. To fully commit. So, you’re right. We need a break. I’ll go. If you ever feel like you’re ready to try again, call me.”

Titus stood up, took a breath and said, “If I don’t hear from you again, and I hope that’s not the case, I wish you nothing but happiness. I’m probably too late saying this but I love you, Haven, and I’m sorry.”

Titus walked to the door but paused before touching the knob. He didn’t want to leave. Everything in him was pulling him back, but she wanted this and so with a heavy heart, he was gone.

“I love you, too,” Haven said quietly to herself, her eyes swelling with tears as she stared at the closed door.