SHREDS

I.

Dad asks if I will make the stuffing

on Thanksgiving.

Usually he does the whole meal without our help.

He says I’m old enough, he trusts me.

I don’t want to,

but I do it.

Chop the celery, the onions,

methodically, evenly, like he taught me,

but soon my wrist tires,

the smell of turkey sickens me,

all my pieces go jagged.

When I go to do the bread,

it gets burned, curls up,

blackening the bright red pan.

I touch my finger to the heat, unthinking,

it stings for a minute, then forms

a small white planet bubble.

I don’t shred more bread,

don’t run my finger under the water,

I just let it all

burn.

II.

We eat, turkey without stuffing,

Mom, Dad, April,

all pretending

nothing is different.

They ask me questions, I say little.

Not knowing what would come out, if I really spoke.

Not wanting to yell at them, in front of April.

Instead, between bites, I squeeze my burnt finger.

At the end of the meal,

I look down to find my napkin shredded,

like torn clouds on my lap.