Chloe calls,
asks if I’ll ever get ungrounded.
I say who knows,
maybe I could sneak out anyway.
She tells me
wait it out, don’t make it worse.
Now she’s the one with advice.
I hang up.
The world has flipped.
Next, April comes in my room,
says Dad will let me go to the movies,
but only with her.
Asks if I want to hit the closet,
wear funny old coats and hats of Mom’s.
I tell her no, grab an umbrella.
At the theater,
nothing’s worth seeing,
or the times are all wrong.
Instead, we sip too-cold hot chocolates at Cafe 82,
watch a family eat cheeseburgers,
kids play tic-tac-toe, parents plan spring break.
On the way home,
April says she heard me fighting with Mom.
That she’s trying to help him, us.
I tell her I’m not going to pretend
that Mom’s been here all along,
when she hasn’t.
April stops me,
the freezing rain battling us,
says we can’t keep fighting
like this, who knows how much time we have left.
Tells me Gloria says
we need to shine light on our secrets,
it will help us heal.
Before I can say I don’t know how,
the wind picks up,
turns my umbrella inside out.