Forty-five minutes later, we’re on our second drink and I’m nicely chilled out, except for one thing: I made the age-old mistake of ‘breaking the seal’ too early.
‘I need to pee again,’ I announce to Shep, getting up from my seat.
‘Again? You only went fifteen minutes ago.’
‘And I’ll be going a lot more before the night is out.’ I nuzzle my face against his, stealing a kiss before tottering off contently to the ladies.
After doing my business and touching up my eye makeup, I return to our table to find Shep at the bar, chatting to two women who must have just walked in.
‘Well, what do we have here?’ I murmur to myself.
I’m getting used to Shep bantering with anyone and everyone, but it feels a little weird when he does it with women my age. I’m not jealous as such; perhaps insecure is a better word. I worry that he might click with someone else better than he does with me and, before I know it, I’ll be alone again with only Netflix for company.
Feeling like I’ve walked in on a gathering I wasn’t invited to, I slip back into my seat while sending a smile in their direction to avoid giving away that I’m intimidated by these goings-on.
‘Lea, what you doing over there?’ Shep spots me and throws me a quizzical look. ‘Come and meet my oldest lady friends in Edinburgh.’
‘I’ll “old lady” you.’ The taller of the two women pretends to whack him with her clutch. She’s a sleek and perfectly polished Elizabeth Debicki lookalike, with a mane of wavy long blonde hair, the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen (probably false, but good ones) and sparkly pink eye makeup.
‘Think you need your hearing checked.’ He raises an eyebrow in response to her twisting his words, this time earning himself an actual biff.
‘I didn’t know you had friends in Edinburgh, Shep.’ I nod a ‘hello’ at the two women, who mirror me in return.
‘He means we were the first people he met when he arrived in the city,’ says the second woman, who has a more natural look than the first. Her beautiful hazel eyes need nothing to make them pop, and her black afro hair is pulled into a sleek bun, enhancing a bone structure to rival Naomi Campbell’s.
‘Ah. That makes more sense.’
‘I’m Becca, by the way.’ She offers me a warm smile that immediately puts me at ease. ‘And this is Sal.’
‘Nice to meet you both. I’m Lea. I assume this place is your local, if you’ve got to know this one.’ I gesture towards Shep.
‘It is for now,’ says Sal and I must look confused, because Becca jumps in to explain.
‘We’ve set ourselves a Fringe challenge.’
‘Fringe challenge?’ I glance back and forth between the two of them.
‘A show each night of the festival.’ Sal inspects her perfectly manicured nails, her tone matter-of-fact.
‘Every night? Gosh, that sounds like fun – and a bit of a commitment. Is it a thing? Like a social media challenge or something?’
‘We dreamed it up ourselves after one too many proseccos.’ Becca fills in the blanks for me. ‘It’s our attempt at doing something different. Normally, we spend our hard-earned cash on a girls’ holiday and fly somewhere sunny to lie on a beach for a week.’
‘The jury’s still out on whether that was a mistake.’ Sal gives me a look of you-must-get-what-I-mean, and I respond with a knowing smile, despite having never had the pleasure of a trip away with friends. When I was at uni, I couldn’t afford such luxuries and now that I can stretch to a week in the sun once a year, I have no one to go with.
‘Well, regardless, I think your Fringe challenge sounds fab,’ I say. ‘Is it just the two of you?’
‘No, there’s a third musketeer,’ says Becca. ‘Tess. She’s running late, but she’ll be here soon.’
‘Right, wow.’ I’m a little envious of their girly threesome. ‘So, when you say this is your local “for now”, is this where you meet before you head to your scheduled show each night?’
‘Full marks.’ Sal flicks her hair behind her shoulder. ‘Tess used to live in a flat just over the road.’
‘We sometimes came here before,’ says Becca. ‘So we thought we’d make it our meeting point, as you can’t always rely on the weather for the outdoor bars… And here’s Tess herself.’ She gives a little wave to the freckled redhead coming through the door, then the three of them greet each other like they haven’t been together in weeks.
Watching this rigmarole, which I assume is repeated daily, further increases my envy. It’s lovely that they have such a tight friendship – I just wish I had some of that in my life too. It reminds me of my uni days, when I had my own group of close friends. I remember at the time thinking it would last forever, which I later realised was naïve of me. I’d kill to just have some good(ish) friends I could meet up with semi-regularly, or call during a moment of emotional pain or indecision and know they would answer. The idea of having girlfriends I could go on holiday with each year is almost too exciting to contemplate. It also seems like such an alien concept to me.
‘Hey, Shep.’ Tess more or less wraps herself around him, setting off my threat radar. ‘How are the shows going? Are you killing it? I bet you’re killing it.’
‘I’d say… as of tonight, I am officially “killing it”.’ He puffs up his chest, hammering on it with his fists, while his ‘admirers’ whoop and clap with delight. ‘And it’s partly thanks to this gorgeous lady here.’
The cheering stops and three sets of glimmering eyes fall on me, making me feel instantly uncomfortable.
‘Tess, this is Leona,’ Sal attempts to introduce us.
‘Oh, it’s Lea, actually,’ I correct her.
‘My mistake.’ She narrows her eyes at me, making me wish I’d gone with ‘Leona’.
‘It’s so lovely to meet you, Lea.’ Tess lunges forward and envelops me in a hug, making me realise that’s just her way and she’s no threat. ‘Are you and Shep… you know?’
‘Sleeping together? Yes, we are,’ Shep proudly announces and I turn scarlet. ‘She’s also my landlady and my saviour.’
‘Oh, so you’re the one who took him in when he was about to pack it all in.’ Sal raises an appraising eyebrow, and I’m unsure whether she’s judging me or congratulating me on bagging myself a ‘boyfriend’ on top of a temporary lodger – though, judging by her previous reaction, I’d put my money on the former.
‘Um… yes, that was me.’ I look to Shep, and he must sense my insecurity, because he reaches for my hand and clasps it tightly.
‘Lea is one special woman, and I’m lucky to have met her.’
‘Aww…’ Tess and Becca put their hands on their chests in perfect synchrony, making us laugh. I then catch Sal rolling her eyes and I neutralise my expression, clearing my throat awkwardly.
Shep and I return to our seats while Becca, Tess and Sal order their drinks. Then their gaze lingers on the empty table next to ours, as if trying to work out whether they’re expected to sit there or to leave us in peace.
‘Come on and sit over here.’ Shep gestures to the table. ‘Lea and I aren’t the hiding-in-dark-corners type, are we?’
He looks to me for confirmation and I nod, though I have to admit that there’s a part of me that would happily stay lost in him, and him only, for the rest of the night.
‘Of course, please join us.’ I smile brightly at them, equally happy to have some rare female company, even if one of them isn’t quite so friendly.
They slide into their seats and the light-hearted chat from before immediately starts up again – with Shep very much at the heart of it. I don’t get the impression that any of them are keen on him in a romantic sense, but they certainly seem drawn to him like so many people are. Sitting back and allowing them the freedom to banter in the way they’re used to, I’m able to get more of a gauge on each of them.
Tess appears to be the firecracker of the group. Nothing to do with her having red hair; she’s just fun and sparky and high-energy. I find myself warming to her quickly, despite the fact she can’t seem to keep her hands off Shep. She’s clearly the touchy-feely type, meaning there are plenty of hand grabs, nudges and cuddles with her girlfriends as well – which I’ve noticed Sal doesn’t receive quite as naturally as Becca.
Having already earned herself the label of ‘the intimidating one’, Sal is what I would call the ‘cool cat’ of the group. It’s clear she takes pride in her appearance – she’s so glam that she literally looks like she’s stepped off the cover of a magazine. She seems to prefer to sit back and take things in, while throwing in her tuppence where it can achieve maximum impact. If I were being cynical, I’d possibly also badge her as the ‘shit-stirrer’ of the group, but as I don’t know her, I’ll reserve judgement.
Finally, Becca comes across as the kind and caring one. She listens intently, overflows with empathy and seems to be one of those all-round salt-of-the-earth types. The kind of person who, if you’re lucky enough to have her as your friend, you should treat like the gem she is and never ever let her go. She’d be the ultimate BFF.
‘Lea, what do you think?’ Tess bulldozes through my moment of reflection.
I pull an apologetic face. ‘Sorry, I got distracted. What do I think of what?’
‘Shep wants us to go see his show. Is it worth it? You must have watched it about eight times by now.’
‘You haven’t been yet?’ I’m surprised by this.
‘We haven’t had a chance,’ says Becca. ‘Between work, life stuff and trying to keep to our commitment of a show a night – all of which we pre-booked – there’s not been any time. If I’m honest, I’m semi-regretting taking this whole thing on.’ She covers the side of her mouth and play-whispers this last part to me.
‘You’re letting the side down, Becca,’ Sal tuts at her, while sipping at her wine, the rim of her glass bright pink from the transfer of her lipstick.
Though this is positioned as a throwaway comment, it feels more cutting than that, and I find Sal’s judgement of Becca a little unfair, given her previous comment about the jury still being out on not going abroad.
‘I can imagine it sounds easier than it is,’ I offer to Becca, earning myself a grateful smile from her and a frosty look of ‘don’t encourage her’ from Sal. ‘If you don’t mind me asking, how do you all know each other?’
The three of them share a look, then Shep and I share our own look as a reflex reaction.
‘I’m guessing you’re not childhood buddies.’ Shep sits forward, intrigued.
‘No, we’re not,’ Tess admits. ‘We’re basically—’
‘Don’t say it.’ Becca looks mortified all of a sudden.
‘Oh, who cares!’ Tess throws her hands up. ‘They’re not going to judge us, are you?’
‘Definitely not,’ I confirm at exactly the same time Shep says: ‘It depends.’
‘Actually, you might want to watch him.’ I jab my thumb in his direction. ‘Whatever you do say may be used as material in his show. I’ve already had a few red-faced moments in that room.’
‘It’s a sign of affection.’ Shep blows me a kiss.
‘It’s a sign that anything is fair game, with you. Good thing I’m not someone who takes things personally. Or who seeks revenge in the middle of the night.’ I throw him a faux-menacing look and he plays along, acting fearful.
‘Well, what does it matter if I add it to the show, if you lot are never gonna come along? So, come on, let’s hear it.’
Tess glances at Becca as if seeking permission, and Becca nods, though she still looks uncomfortable.
‘Have you heard of The First Wives Club?’ Tess asks us.
‘Isn’t that a film? A pretty old one, I think…’ I search my memory. ‘Ah, yes… about three divorced women who are friends. They take revenge on their husbands for leaving them for much younger women, right?’
‘That’s the one.’
‘Are you saying you’re friends for the same reason?’ I’m puzzled by this.
Shep looks equally baffled. ‘I’m thinking if your blokes left you for much younger women, they’d be getting into questionable territory.’
‘It’s not exactly the same,’ says Tess. ‘But we’re basically best friends because of our shithead exes.’
‘For real?’ I’m riveted to hear more.
‘Yup. They’re all in a band together—’
‘And they’re a bunch of deadbeats,’ Sal finishes Tess’s sentence.
‘It just took us a while to realise it.’ Becca sighs, making me wonder if she’s actually fully over her lost love.
‘What revenge did you take on them?’ Shep’s face is shining with wicked interest.
‘Uh-uh.’ Sal shakes her head. ‘That is a secret we’ll be taking to the grave.’
‘Spoilsport.’ Shep’s replacement phone buzzes on the table, signalling a notification, and he lifts it to see what it is. ‘Ah, shite. The owner from next door is looking for me, and from the looks of it, it’s not gonna be quick. I’d better go speak to him.’
He gets up from the table and I follow his lead, but he puts a hand out, signalling for me to stop.
‘Lea, why don’t you stay here? This is me about to get a telling-off. I don’t really want you to witness it.’
‘Oh, OK.’ I glance uncertainly at our drinking companions. ‘I’ll maybe just head home, actually.’
The last thing I want right now is to return to my empty flat alone, but leaving Becca, Tess and Sal to their evening together is the polite thing to do. As I resume getting up from my seat, I catch some eye contact happening between them. I automatically assume this is relief at not having to play babysitter, but to my surprise, that doesn’t seem to be the case.
‘Why don’t you stay and have another drink with us?’ Becca gently touches my arm. ‘We’ll be here for another half hour.’
I look to Shep, who gives me an encouraging nod. ‘Why don’t you do that? Then you can come and give me a kiss before my next performance.’
This comment triggers another ‘aww’ from Tess and Becca.
‘Um… only if you’re sure?’ I give the three women a tentative smile and receive big, warm ones in return. Well, Sal’s isn’t so welcoming, but two out of three is still a majority.
‘Of course, we’re sure, silly.’ Tess reaches across and enthusiastically pats my arm. ‘Come on, sit back down and we’ll get another round in.’
‘OK, sure.’ I do as she says, then look up at Shep with a surprised shrug.
‘Good stuff.’ Shep leans over and pecks me on the lips. ‘Have fun, ladies. Lea, I’ll see you in a bit.’