‘Oh, that’s freakin’ hilarious!’ Tess bangs the table with her fist. ‘I can’t believe your dad thought Shep was a burglar.’
It’s the following day and I’m in the Old Town Inn with Becca and Tess for drinks ahead of our Friday night show together.
‘You must have been mortified.’ Becca’s face is brimming with sympathy, though she’s laughing at the same time.
‘That’s not even close.’ I shake my head, my cheeks burning from re-living the experience. ‘I’m not sure there is a word to describe how I felt. How I still feel now, just thinking about it.’
‘Sal’s going to love this story,’ says Tess. ‘You’ll need to tell her next time we’re all together.’
‘OK, sure.’ I’m not as convinced of this, but I am pleased that my unfortunate parental encounter is providing some great bonding material with my new ‘gal pals’, as Tanya would call them. Apparently, that is what we are now – Tess made this abundantly clear the last time we were together.
‘Sal must be really bummed about missing tonight’s show.’ I sip at my glass of white wine reflectively. ‘It looks like it’s going to be a good one.’
‘She’ll live.’ Tess casually pushes her long bouncy red hair behind her shoulders. ‘Let’s get back to your daddy-daughter-sexy-lodger triangle. What happened after Shep left? And how is he after nearly getting his arse kicked by your dad? Quite literally.’ She chortles at her own joke.
‘Well, needless to say, my dad wasn’t for telling me about his trip to Hamburg after that. I basically had to offer up enough to satisfy his curious-slash-suspicious mind, without giving away the bits that would result in me – a grown woman – being lectured and told off by my father. I was just so relieved he didn’t bring up the whole interrupting us during sex thing. I really couldn’t have coped with a “birds, bees and STDs” talk on top of all that.’
‘Ah, that’s priceless!’ Tess claps her hands delightedly.
‘And Shep?’ Becca prompts me to answer Tess’s second question.
‘Was surprisingly cool about the whole thing. After he knew the cops weren’t about to blue-light in and cart him away. And get this… To save face… both our faces…’ I furrow my brow at my ineloquence. ‘And to avoid any awkward questions or my dad finding out about our shacked-up situation, Shep introduced himself to my dad as my boyfriend.’
‘Good move.’ Tess gives what appears to be an impressed nod.
‘That’s not all. My dad then asked Shep and I to have lunch with him and my mum on Sunday, and while I was in the middle of making an excuse for us, Shep bulldozed in and accepted the invite.’
‘Ooh, what do you think that means?’ Becca leans in, her and Tess sharing a look of intrigue.
‘I think it means he’s an idiot,’ I declare. ‘I mean, who likes meeting the parents at the best of times, never mind when you’ve more or less been caught red-handed shagging their daughter?’
Becca looks thoughtful for a moment. ‘I’m guessing it’s one of two things. Either he’s falling for you as much as you are for him…’ She sees my face light up with hope and holds up a hand to slow me down. ‘Or—’
‘He has a death wish,’ Tess jumps in.
‘Not actually what I was about to say.’ Becca affectionately shushes her. ‘What I was thinking, and I’m sorry for this, Lea, but—’
‘As a comedian, Shep might like to put himself in situations that have the potential to provide him with new material.’ I rub my suddenly weary forehead, the lightness of the moment now eclipsed by this unwelcome reality check.
‘Yes. That’s exactly what I was going to say.’
On hearing this confirmation, a swell of emotion overcomes me, and my eyes brim with tears, as my previous fear of becoming nothing more than the inspiration behind some of Shep’s stand-up material is resurrected.
‘That doesn’t mean I’m right,’ Becca rushes to add, taking one of my hands in hers across the table. ‘It’s just something to consider. And if it is why he agreed to lunch, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you, nor does it even mean it was a conscious decision. It might just be his way.’
Tess grabs my other hand and squeezes it hard. ‘Best you go into it with your eyes open, as Becca says, so there’s less chance of you having regrets later down the line.’
I nod, wiping away a rogue tear. ‘What the hell have I got myself into? All I wanted was to help him out of a tight spot and maybe enjoy a bit of company at the same time.’
‘How do you mean?’ Becca cocks her head curiously.
‘Oh, you know, he was going to have to go home if I hadn’t—’
‘I don’t think that’s what Becca was referring to,’ says Tess. ‘You said you wanted company.’
It’s only as she says this that I realise I’ve overshared. Looking away from them, I weigh up whether to spin a story or tell the truth and risk the same reaction I first got from Shep.
‘Lea, you’re in safe company with us.’ Becca encourages me to open up. ‘Isn’t she, Tess?’
‘Of course.’ Tess plonks a hand on her chest as if to signify her trustworthiness. ‘As I said before, nothing goes outside our foursome.’
Taking in their genuine concern (at least that’s how I read it), I decide I need to put my faith in these girls, because if their offer of friendship is real, once Shep’s gone, they’ll be all I have. Plus, I’d never be brave enough to share this with Sal around, so it might be my only opportunity.
‘OK, but can we keep this just between us?’ They nod, while I screw up my face in embarrassment at the thought of vocalising my predicament, then I take a courage-inducing slug from my glass. ‘I’ve sort of been a bit lonely… well, very lonely…’ I fill them in on my situation, without bothering to sugar-coat anything to make myself look better – why would I, when I’m already showing such a level of vulnerability?
To say Becca and Tess are understanding and supportive is an understatement. They rally around me, pledging ‘unconditional life-long friendship’ (no surprise that those high-drama words came from Tess) and to never allow me to be in that situation again, regardless of whether they or I were in long-term relationships. They make me feel safe and – like Shep, after his initial blip – they’re adamant that I have nothing to feel ashamed of. It’s so much more than I could have expected, and such a weight off, knowing that when Shep leaves, I won’t be right back to where I started.
We then have a brilliant evening out at the show together, grabbing dinner from a street-food truck beforehand, and enjoying a ‘debrief’ over a cocktail afterwards. It’s a perfect night, and I find myself kind of wishing I could join in with their Fringe challenge. That said, what I don’t want to do is overstay my welcome and leave them regretting their decision to recruit me as one of their own. So, I’ll take things gently and earn my place with them, as I’ve always done with everything else in my life.