Pushing open the door to the Old Town Inn, I can see Shep sitting with Becca, Tess and Sal at a table near the back. As the place is fairly quiet, I’m spotted almost immediately.
‘Lea!’ cries Tess before I’ve even closed the door behind me. ‘It’s so good to see you… oh…’ Her gaze shifts to Shep, as it clearly dawns on her that the two of us being here at the same time might not be such a good thing.
Becca leaps to her feet and rushes forward, face full of apologies. ‘Hi, honey, I’m so sorry. We saw Shep briefly yesterday and he asked if we’d have a farewell drink with him tonight. We didn’t want to upset you, but we also didn’t want to tell him no.’
‘It’s OK.’ I touch her arm gently. ‘I knew he was here.’
‘You did? But how… I mean—’
‘Let’s just go over there and it’ll all become clear.’
I follow Becca to the table, where my eyes meet Sal’s, and it’s clear she’s both astonished and furious that I’ve had the nerve to show my face again. Unable to bear her glare, I look away, my renewed courage almost deserting me.
‘Hi, there,’ I greet an uncertain-looking Tess, then I nod at Shep, who returns the gesture.
‘Pull up a chair?’ suggests Tess, looking to the others as if checking that was the right thing to say.
I shake my head. ‘It’s fine, I’ll stand. This won’t take long.’
Becca and Tess continue to look uncomfortable and bewildered, while Sal sits back and folds her arms. This is undoubtedly an attempt to intimidate me – and it nearly works – but having come this far, I now need to see my plan through.
While doing my best to tune out all the deeply unpleasant sensations rushing through my mind and body, I clasp my hands together tightly and force myself to speak.
‘I’m actually here to speak to Sal.’
‘Oh, right.’ She tries to jump on this opportunity and use it to her advantage. ‘Shall we go outside?’
‘No.’ I give a single shake of my head. ‘Here will do just fine. I want everyone to hear this.’
Sal’s face drains of colour. It seems she’s put two and two together, and realised I’m about to out her. Much as I hate to admit it, this gives me a feeling of satisfaction and spurs me on.
‘Becca, Tess, I want to apologise for this in advance. It’s not going to be comfortable, but it needs to be said.’
Still baffled by this curious turn of events, they simply nod, eyes frantically darting between me and Sal.
‘OK, so, when we were at George Square Gardens last week, and I was left on my own with Sal, she basically told me to disappear and keep away from your group.’
‘What?’ Becca looks to Sal, who now has a face like thunder.
Tess looks equally shocked, and for once seems stunned into silence.
‘She’s lying,’ says Sal. ‘Why would I do that?’
Despite my raw nerves, I force myself to look her square in the face. ‘I don’t know why. All I know is that you did, and that you’ve done it before.’
‘Sal, what’s Lea talking about?’ asks Becca. ‘And when were you two on your own? I don’t remember that.’
Tess’s mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ of realisation. ‘I do. It was when you went to the loo. My sister phoned and I had to nip away because I couldn’t hear her.’
‘That’s right,’ I reply. ‘And that’s when you did it, wasn’t it, Sal?’
‘No. I didn’t. Guys, she’s clearly nuts.’ Sal rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue bitterly. ‘No wonder you broke up with her, Shep. I’d call that a lucky escape.’
Shep looks to me, obviously wanting to say something.
‘Not yet,’ I murmur almost inaudibly, so he sits back and lets me continue. ‘All right, Sal, if it’s your word against mine, then let’s see if any of this rings true to Becca and Tess. They know you well enough to tell if I’m making it up.’
Feeling myself start to tremble, I lift my shoulders to fool my brain into thinking I’ve got this.
‘You asked me what I thought I was doing latching onto your group “like a freaking limpet”,’ I begin to reel off her crimes. ‘You told me that I wasn’t “the first of Becca’s strays” and you said you see it as your job to “get rid”. You also threatened me to make sure I wouldn’t say anything to these two.’
‘Who the hell do you think you are?’ Sal snorts with derision. ‘I didn’t threaten you.’
‘Sorry, you’re right. You never got to fully deliver that threat. I was so intimidated, I made it clear I understood before you could finish telling me what you’d do if I “went crying to them”. My mistake.’
‘Sal, is this true?’ asks an incredulous Tess.
‘Of course it’s not true.’ Sal sits up in her seat, shooting me an acidic look. ‘Who are you going to believe? Me – who you’ve known for years – or someone you met a couple of weeks ago?’
‘I don’t… eh…’ Tess glances back and forth between me and Sal.
While all this is going on, Becca remains silent, her expression now impossible to read.
I look at Sal and shrug. ‘I’m not asking them to choose a side. That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to let you know that you’re not going to belittle or intimidate me – or drive me away. I’m making a choice not to be around you, because I want to spend my time with people who are kind and who care about me, and who won’t try to control my actions for their own gain.’ I glance fleetingly at Becca, hoping more than anything that she’s not judging me poorly for what I’m doing.
Sal scoffs. ‘Would you listen to this nonsense? What fucking planet do you come from, Lea? Can’t you see that everyone here wishes you’d end this nonsense and get lost?’
While I no longer care a bit what Sal thinks of me, I flinch at this cutting remark.
Having clearly heard enough, Shep looks up at me. ‘May I?’
I smile at him appreciatively. ‘Sure.’
He sits forward and focuses his attention on Sal. ‘I don’t want Lea to get lost, Sal. I also think you did what you did because she’s someone you’ll never understand. And because her kindness and generosity are characteristics you see as a threat to your standing in this group.’
She blanches. ‘Wh-what?’
‘You heard me.’ He reaches out and takes my hand. ‘Lea told me exactly what you did, and there was no question in my mind that she was telling the truth.’
‘And now that I’ve said my piece,’ I add, ‘we’ll leave you all to it. Becca, Tess, I’m truly sorry for this, but I felt you had to know.’
Shep gets up from his seat and we head for the door together, hearing Sal’s furious mutterings as we go.
‘Wait!’ Becca calls after me, to my surprise.
We stop and turn.
She half-raises her hand in the air as if she’s in class. ‘I think you’re telling the truth as well.’
‘So do I,’ Tess pipes up, following Becca’s lead. ‘And I think Sal’s the one who should leave, not you, Lea.’
‘Are you freaking kidding me?’ Sal explodes. ‘You’re going to take their word over mine?’
‘I am,’ says Becca. ‘Because everything Lea said sounded true, and I don’t think she’s someone who’d lie. That account of what happened at George Square Gardens had you written all over it, Sal.’
‘So? She’s been around me enough to know how I talk.’
‘No.’ Becca shakes her head. ‘There’s no way Lea could have dreamed up something so reminiscent of things I’ve heard you say in the past. Also, you know I’ve always wondered why Maria and Holly ghosted us after I welcomed them into our group. Both times I thought I’d done something wrong, but it was you. You didn’t like them, so you decided they had to go, and you made sure we knew nothing of it.’
‘Becca, for God’s sake,’ Sal spits. ‘That’s complete and utter—’
‘Don’t you dare gaslight my best friend,’ Tess cuts across Sal with a menacing tone I’d never have thought her capable of. ‘You’ve always called the shots, which puts you in the perfect position to abuse our trust. Everything from where we go on holiday to the decision to cut all ties with the guys—’
‘They treated us like shit.’ Sal throws her hands up frustratedly. ‘I was protecting us.’
‘Your first statement is true. Your second isn’t. That’s more than clear now. It should have been mine and Becca’s decision, but you played things so we were left with no choice.’
‘You did,’ Becca backs Tess up.
‘It’s time to go, Sal,’ says Tess. ‘There’s no room at this table for someone so bitter and selfish and… deceitful.’
Sal is so shocked by this unexpected ambush that she’s spluttering like a broken-down vehicle. The whole pub is also watching this scene play out, and it’s clear that Sal is mortified by this. Snatching up her handbag and jacket, she nearly topples her chair as she vacates the table without saying anything further. Then as she passes me, she hisses: ‘You’d better watch your back.’
‘You try anything with Lea and the police will be involved,’ Shep calls after her. ‘There are multiple witnesses to that threat.’
The door slams behind Sal, and suddenly it’s like I can’t breathe. Big fat tears crowd my eyes, before galloping down my cheeks.
‘Hey, you’re OK.’ Shep guides me to the nearest table to sit down, while at the same time asking the barperson to bring some water. ‘You did it. You stood up to her and you’ve done those two a favour.’ He jabs his thumb in the direction of Becca and Tess, who are making their way over to us.
‘I can’t believe I did that.’ I wipe my eyes with my sleeve. ‘I’m so glad she didn’t see this.’
‘It’s just adrenaline and overwhelm. A perfectly natural reaction.’
‘Lea, OMG, you were immense there!’ Tess swoops in and hugs me tight. ‘I can’t believe you did that.’
‘Neither can I.’ I glug at the glass of water that’s just been handed to me.
‘That was incredibly brave.’ Becca appears on the other side of me and strokes my hair. ‘Thank you for doing that.’
I look up at her with pained eyes. ‘I feel like I should be apologising to you. I just hurled a bowling ball through your friendship group.’
‘No way. You’ve just opened our eyes to something we should have seen well before now. I’ve been very uncomfortable with Sal’s behaviour for a long time.’
‘Me too,’ says Tess.
‘You have?’ Becca looks at her in disbelief. ‘I knew you found her a bit much at times, but didn’t think you had any major issue with her.’
‘Guess I thought the same about you, so I didn’t say anything. We obviously gave her a far longer leash than we should have – perhaps because we were both a bit intimidated by her and had no clue as to the extent of her bad behaviour—’
‘Well, none of that matters now, I guess.’ Becca brings a very guilty-looking Tess to a halt with her soothing tone. ‘I’m just so glad we didn’t lose Lea like the others.’ She turns her attention to me. ‘I’d been wondering why you hadn’t been in touch. By the way, are you two…?’ She hesitates, unsure whether to finish her sentence.
‘We are.’ I grin at her, then at Shep. ‘And he’s staying.’
‘Amazing!’ Tess and Becca whoop and jump up and down simultaneously, and we all laugh.
‘This is something to celebrate.’ Tess claps her hands with glee. ‘Becca, come help me get a bottle of fizz and some glasses.’
We share a group hug and then they head to the bar together, chatting animatedly, no doubt debriefing on what’s just happened.
‘Seems you’re a bit of a hero.’ Shep sits down and slips a reassuring arm around me, allowing me to cuddle into him. ‘I’m so proud of you, you know.’
‘I couldn’t have done it without your support,’ I murmur, as he kisses me softly on the top of my head and I breathe in his scent.
‘Who can do something as scary as that without knowing someone’s got their back? It takes a lot of guts.’
‘I suppose you’re right. Well, thank you anyway, for being here and for… being you. I’m so happy we’re back together.’
He lifts my chin with his finger to make eye contact with me. ‘Me too. We’ll make this work, I promise.’
I smile at him. ‘That, I want more than anything, Ciaran.’
He gives a light chuckle as he clocks that I’ve used his actual name for the first time, then he kisses me properly, while a two-person cheer breaks out from behind us.