Chapter 2

 

Andre

 

. ~ .

 

ANDRE SAT MOTIONLESS, brooding behind his desk, reclined in a leather office chair, staring blankly at his laptop screen. The argument he had with Ava a week ago left him torn. Why’d he let her go so easily? Was that an admission that he thought she was right? That by loving her, he was unduly punishing himself into a life of misery that would ultimately end in utter disappointment, sadness and tears upon her untimely death?

He did worry excessively about her. But what man doesn’t worry about the woman he loves? About his child? About their future? Was their relationship any different because she had a diagnosed heart condition?

Why did I let her leave?

The night of their fight, he’d come home from work excited about a possible new client, Flashtec Systems, and wanted to take Ava out to dinner to celebrate. However, Ava wasn’t in a celebratory mood. She was despondent and feeling pity for herself, asking herself why she had to be in this predicament and what she did to deserve failing health.

Andre should’ve grown accustomed to her negative outlook on life, on their lives together, but this time, he’d had it. Things had escalated before he even knew what he was saying and with his temper flaring, he agreed that she should take some time, figure out what she wanted in hopes that she’d come to the conclusion that he is what she wanted. A week later, he wasn’t so sure if she was what he wanted.

He grimaced at this realization. Could he go back to being single and living without her, while sharing the one thing that bonded them forever – their son?

He sighed with a heavy chest and heart, and without thinking about it, he dialed Todd’s number. He had to talk through this with someone and his best friend, Todd, was married. Who better to seek advice from than someone who was married? Who was probably going through, or had been through, the same things you were?

“Yo, what’s good, Dre?” Todd answered.

“Man...I’m dying over here, Todd.”

“What’s up, bruh?”

“Ah...” Andre sighed, then shook his head wordlessly. “Ava left.”

“What!” Todd yelled into the phone.

“She left, Todd. It’s sort of my fault, too, but either way it goes, she’s not here.”

“Wha...why? What happened?”

“She’s on this poor me crusade every time I turn around, and this particular time, I just lost it. I get so tired of trying to prove my love for her when she’s relentlessly set on being negative about her life and her health.”

“Wait, wait, wait...what do you mean?”

Andre put the call on speakerphone, then set it on his desk in front of him, rubbing his tired eyes. He wasn’t sleeping well. Honestly, he wasn’t resting when Ava was home because he was concerned about her health to the point that he’d stay up at night, to watch her sleep. With their relationship in shambles now, and her being in another state, he was too worried to sleep.

“Some days she’s fine and our life is beautiful, ideal and I feel like the luckiest man on earth,” Andre admitted. “Then other days she’s in bed all day, crying or just so calloused she doesn’t want to talk to me. She’s mad at the world that she’s sick and she treats me like there must be something wrong with me because I actually love her.”

“Wow,” Todd said, his voice sounding muffled and echoed by the speakerphone.

“You know what she told me?”

“What’s that?”

“She said that I was in denial...that any man in his right mind wouldn’t intentionally love a dying woman. And you know me, man...I’m usually pretty levelheaded but she just wouldn’t let this go. After working all day, all I want is to come home to a loving wife and my son...spend time with them, but she was on this rant about how unfair her life is and how I deserve better, and now I’m thinking that maybe...” Andre paused, his eyes glossed over, not believing what he was about to say. “Maybe she’s right. What if marrying her is just as much of a mistake it was when I’d proposed to Michelle.”

“Nah,” Todd said. “I was at the wedding. I saw the sparks flying between you and Ava. Everyone saw it...felt it.”

“Then if there’s so much love between us, why is she in North Carolina and I’m in Florida?”

“She’s in North Carolina?”

“Yeah. She packed her bags and flew to Charlotte a week ago. She took Andrew with her.”

“And you just let her leave like that?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to, but I did. That’s what she wanted, and I was honestly at the end of my rope with her self-pity. You should’ve seen how angry she was, man. She was yelling, crying, throwing clothes and once again, I tried, I really tried to console her and she literally pushed me away.”

“Okay, now I know you’re exaggerating. Ava makes you look like a giant and you’re telling me she actually pushed you?”

“Yeah. That’s how angry she was...now I’m sitting here wondering why I get punished for loving my wife so much.”

“Dre...man, I—”

“Is it possible that I love her too much? Can that happen?”

“I don’t think it’s possible to love someone too much.”

“Be honest, Todd. Let’s say Sasha was sick. Would you try your best to love her harder than you would if she wasn’t sick...if she was in perfect health?”

“I would just love her.”

“Then maybe that’s what I’m doing wrong. I’m trying too hard, but either way it goes, you would think Ava would be appreciative of how I bend over backwards for her.”

“I hate to say this man, but a little space between you two might not be a bad thing. If that’s what it’ll take for her to understand you, then give it to her. But don’t let too much time pass without talking to her.”

“I talk to her every night. She’s just very short. I say a few words to her, she lets me say goodnight to Andrew and that’s about it.” Andre leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, rubbing his tired neck. He was stressed and tense, not looking forward to going home to an empty house – not seeing Ava or Andrew. He missed them. He needed them. What was the point of having this successful life without his family to share it with?

In the early days, when Rockwell Computer Components was just getting off the ground, he didn’t date much. The company required too much of his time and hadn’t allowed him to get serious with anyone. After the company’s fifth year, he was a little more relaxed and had started dating again. He’d courted some beautiful, successful women who were also entrepreneurs and he’d also dated some ordinary women.

Never had he dated a woman like Ava. She was a gem, truly one of a kind. Her health condition aside, she was the perfect mate for him. But as in business, there comes a time when hard decisions had to be made. If Ava couldn’t accept him, then he would have to let her go. Even when his heart, his mind and everything within his body told him that she was the woman for him, he couldn’t allow her negative outlook on her own life, and their marriage to ruin him. It was one of those “if your right hand makes your stumble” type situations. However, he’d rather die than cut her out of his life.