At recess there were three different games of tag going on. Boris insisted I play this game called Killer Octopus Tag. I think Boris made the game up, because it was totally ridiculous. The person who was It had to walk around the playground in slow motion with their arms waving, saying, “Uhhhhh, Uhhhhh…” while everyone else ran away.

“Otis is It!” Boris called.

But every time I started to run, Boris yelled, “Octopuses can’t run!”

It got boring really quickly, so I quit and I walked off to find another game. A bunch of girls were playing Pony Tag, where they all had to gallop around, shake their heads, and make snorting noises. That didn’t seem too great, either. The other tag game was Ninja Tag. Cat was playing that one. As far as I could tell, the object of Ninja Tag was to kick as many people as you could.

But I’m not really the violent type.

I’m more like the sissy type.

Plus, when I kick I look like a stork that’s being electrocuted.

Instead, I just went on the monkey bars and hung upside down. I love hanging upside down. I could do it for hours.

I was just hanging there, watching this kid named Trevor McBride lick a smooshed Starburst on the bottom of his sneaker. Suddenly, this other boy walked up to me. He had the biggest ears I’ve ever seen. It looked like he had two bagels glued to the sides of his head.

“You’re the Lego nerd,” he said.

“Who told you that?” I asked him.

The kid shrugged. “I hear things.”

With ears like that, I bet you do, I thought.

I didn’t say it out loud though. I don’t like it when people make fun of my skinniness. So I just made fun of him in my head.

“If you know what’s good for you, don’t mess with Sid Frackas,” the kid said.

“Who’s Sid Frackas?” I asked.

The kid stuck one finger in the air and said, “He’s the greatest Lego genius who ever lived!”

I looked at him for a moment. Then I asked, “By any chance, are you Sid Frackas?”

The kid frowned at me. “Maybe I am and maybe I ain’t.” Then he started to walk away.

“Okay, bye, Sid Frackas!” I called after him.

He didn’t answer.

“Nice chatting with you, Sid old boy!” I called.

His ears turned very red.

The recess bell rang and on the way back into the classroom, Cat said, “Why were you talking to Sid Frackas?”

“You know him?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said. “He lives in our building. Also he’s the greatest Lego genius who ever lived.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t too thrilled about that.

Because I always thought I was the greatest Lego genius who ever lived.