The effort to get out of bed exhausted Night Shadow Star. The notion of getting dressed, just walking out into the great room, seemed insurmountable. Merely sitting up, swinging her feet to the floor, and squatting over the ceramic bowl left her completely fatigued and desperate to clamber back into bed and fall asleep.
He’s won, Piasa’s disembodied voice told her.
She blinked in the dim light of her room, fingers kneading the soft buffalo-wool blanket. So soft. The weavers had separated the downy undercoat curried from a winter hide to weave into such a prized possession.
“Lady?” a roughly accented voice called moments before one of the Natchez entered bearing a bowl.
She stumbled through her memory. Little Sun … Swirling Cloud. The one with the hair twisted to look like blunt horns on his head. Yes, that’s who this was.
Where do I know him from?
Something tried to form down between her souls, only to drift away like goose down on the wind.
“Time for you to eat. It is the ahau’s order. He wants you strong. Better to catch his seed, yes?”
Numbly she took the bowl, blinking, her souls oddly empty of thought. The world had grown fuzzy, as if all of its edges were gone. Everything soft and oddly warm.
The Natchez lowered himself to the side of her bed, his gaze running down her body. “Eat, Lady.”
She lifted the stew to her lips, drinking slowly, stopping only to chew the chunks of meat and hazelnuts. When she’d drained the bowl, she set it down to one side.
Her stomach expanded the way it would if something peculiar were warming it from the inside. Each meal had this effect. First the warm feeling in the stomach. Then it would spread, running out around her ribs, up around her heart, and down into her pelvis to create a tingle in her loins before it crept down her thighs to her feet.
The Natchez shot a wary glance at the door before leaning close to whisper, “I know he thinks you’re ugly.” He reached out, his fingers stroking down her right shoulder, across her chest, around the swell of her breast to settle on her nipple. As he massaged it between his fingers, she sucked a breath. His touch might have ignited a sparkling fire that burned through her chest into her core.
“I, however, think you are the most beautiful woman alive,” he added, grinning as she started to squirm and awkwardly pushed his hand away. Instead of retreating, he let his fingers trace down the curve of her hip and along the sides of her thighs.
“Are you tired of him, Lady? Would you like to share yourself with a man who actually wants you? One who would rather hear you sigh as he coaxed cries of delight from your body?”
Was that what she wanted? His words seemed like flitting birds, going this way and that and making little sense. Confusing words. She tried to find her own, saying, “I just can’t … it’s the warmth … don’t know…” The rest of the thought flew away with the flitting birds and she gasped, suddenly aware that his hand had slipped between her legs.
With his other hand he pushed her onto her back.
“That’s it.” He was staring down at her, the smile widening as she tried to push his hand away. She clamped her thighs tight around his fingers as they probed and stirred embers of pleasure.
“Fire Cat?” she asked in confusion.
“Sure. I’m Fire Cat if that makes you happy.”
The voice was wrong. Her vision shimmered, Fire Cat’s face seeming to blend itself into Swirling Cloud’s.
He’s using you! Piasa’s sibilant voice speared through her.
“Get out,” she gritted through clamped jaws. “Get out!”
The hand was suddenly gone, Swirling Cloud standing beside her bed, a triumphant leer on his face as he loudly stated, “Lady, I don’t care. My orders are to make you eat.”
Then he leaned close, whispering, “It’s just a matter of time until we’ll be alone together.” He shot her a wink and left.
“What is wrong with me?” She clamped her eyes shut, curling into a fetal ball. Could she summon enough strength to deny the Natchez the next time? Did she have the will? Or would she just surrender? Was it easier to retreat into the fuzzy haze and let him fill her sheath while she pretended he was someone else?
The answer frightened her.
You are losing. Losing yourself. Losing Cahokia.
Piasa’s disembodied laughter filled the room.
How does it feel … Lady?