Index

Page numbers listed correspond to the print edition of this book. You can use your device’s search function to locate particular terms in the text.

AAI. see Adult Attachment Interview (AAI)

absence of good

resistance to change related to, 215

abuse

alcohol, 199–200

drug, 199–200

emotional, 199

verbal, 74

acceptance

in mindful awareness, 284–85

in overcoming resistance to change, 200–1

in therapeutic relationship, 59

action sequences

enduring, 101

acts of meaning, 29

perceptual and verbal language in relation to, 29–31

adaptation

social organ of, 55–56 see also brain

from unevolved defense to, 190–91

adaptive

defined, 202

adaptive response

from defensive action to, 190–91

Adult Attachment Interview (AAI), 239

“a dyadic state of consciousness,” 37

affective disillusionment, 215, 216

affective models

body-based, 98

affective–reflective dialogues, 169

affective safety

defined, 26

in healing process, 26–27

importance of, 26

affect regulation

in therapeutic change, 83–85

affect tolerance

from state-sharing, 25–26

windows of, 26

agreement

in PACT, 234

“aha” moments

insula in, 91

alcohol abuse

resistance to change related to, 199– 200

Alexander, F.M., 142–44

Alexander technique, 277

aliveness

self–other, 30–31

Allen, J.G., 87–88

Allen, W., 17

aloneness-togetherness, 152, 155

ambivalent attachment to bad objects

resistance to change and, 195–98

ambivalent attachment to dysfunctional defense, 186

ambivalent attachment to dysfunctionality

examples of, 199–200

analogical connectedness, 160–63

analyst–patient relationship. see patient– therapist relationship

anger

denial of, 147

“an unconstrained readiness for action,” 140

anxiety

in resistance to change, 205

trauma vs., 35–36

anxiety disorders

hyperactivity of insula and, 89

arm movement(s)

case example, 113

in psychotherapy, 112–13

arousal tolerance, 26

assertiveness

offensive attitude of, 146

“a theory of the ‘extended mind’”, 50n

attachment

ambivalent, 186, 195–200

avoidant, 90

of avoidant person, 226

change and, 74

early, 34–35

fears of, 82

organized insecure models of, 226

in therapeutic change, 81–83

attachment challenges from childhood

defenses against, 12–13

attachment figures

factors denoting meaning infants make of interactions with, 98

attachment needs

instinct to survive and, 225–26

attachment-related interaction, 29

attachment structure

of avoidant person, 226

error correction in real time in, 229–31

attention

on body’s sensations and movements, 11

in couples therapy, 227

attitude

defensive, 145–48

offensive, 146

in reconciling emotions and feelings, 144–45

attunement

in couples therapy, 251–52

interpersonal, 283

in therapy, 282–83, 289

authenticity

in psychotherapy, 26–27

relational, 27–28

authentic relationship

engagement in, 215–16

authentic therapy

described, 27–28

autism

psychobiological development and, 232

underactive functioning of insula and, 89

automation

in dyadic system, 227–31

autonomic nervous system

deactivation of, 287

in emotions and feelings, 89

averted/avoidant gaze

salience network and, 90

avoidant attachment style

case example, 90

avoidant person

attachment structure of, 226

awareness

in change, 276–77

cocreating emergent experience of, 275–90

cultivating, 276

insula in, 91

mindful, 284–85

bad presence of, 215–16

bad objects

ambivalent attachment to, 195–98

Bateman, A., 87–88

Beck, 68

behavior(s)

goal-directed, 88

as lever of change, 56–57

“miscarriage” of, 146

nonverbal see nonverbal behavior(s)

self-sabotaging, 199–200

behaviorists

levers of change–related beliefs of, 57

being seen

perception in, 33

Beyond Subjectivity: The Transpersonal Dimension of the Psychoanalytic Encounter, 50n

beyond words, 97–125. see also sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective

bias

negative, 67, 224

Binet, A., 128

bioenergetics, 277

“blindsight,” 133

Bluhm, R.L., 158, 160

bodily aspects of sadness and depression, 140–41

bodily kinesthetic intelligence, 280

bodily sensations

directly contacting our, 138

body

change related to, 127–49

role in emotion, 11

body-based affective models, 98

body-based communications

between infants and attachment figures, 97

body-based embedded mindfulness interventions, 98

body-based therapeutic interventions

with concepts of embedded relational mindfulness and interpersonal neurology, 279

body movement(s)

focus of attention on, 11

preparatory, 111–12

body sensation(s), 138

focus of attention on, 11

bonding

pair, 227

borderline

defined, 158

borderline personality disorder

early trauma and, 155

neural functioning in persons with, 11

relational trauma and, 152–53

“bottom-up” experience, 286

“bottom-up” paradigm, 130

Bowlby, J., 272n

brain(s)

change as function of, 247

described, 54

how it works, 54

human vs. rat, 54

left hemisphere’s function, 67

in love, 250

negative bias of, 224

plasticity of see brain plasticity

purpose of, 67

right hemisphere’s function, 66–67

social, 55–60 see also social brain

stimulus–response chains in, 63–64

threat effects on, 223–25

trauma effects on, 60

understanding of, 248–49

working with two, 249–52

brain development

windows of change and vulnerability in, 77

brain in love

as merger, 250

brain plasticity, 249

in ability to change, 80

research findings related to, 79

in therapeutic change, 78–81

Bromberg, P.M., 10, 12, 17–50, 99, 102, 104, 121, 121f

Bruner, J., 29–30

Buddhism, 70

Bull, N., 139, 143, 147

care

as predictor of outcome, 83

reciprocal, 167

Carlson, E., 83

Carmichel, H., 49

Carroll, L., 66

Cartesian/cognitive (top-down) paradigm, 129–30

Casement, P., 192

cathartic expressions

of emotion, 147

causality

misconstrued by trauma survivors, 134–35

causation, 134n–35n

CEN. see chief executive control network (CEN)

central nervous system (CNS)

changes in, 79

change. see also specific types, e.g., therapeutic change

attachment and, 74

awareness in, 276–77

brain as social organ of adaptation in, 55–56

during brain development, 77

brain function in, 247

brain plasticity in, 80

case example, 66–68

causes for, 56

in children in therapeutic relationship, 167–83 see also children in therapeutic relationship

CNS–related, 79

communication in, 61

connection in, 58–60

constructive introspection in, 64–66

in couples, 221–73 see also couples therapy; psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT)

creating lasting, 262–71

as destructive to developing mind, 73–78

difficulty of, 271–72

disrupting toxic bonds and, 263–67

dissociation and, 74

in emotional responses, 137–38

emotions and, 127–49

enhanced environmental stimuli enabling, 79

environment for creating, 55–56

experiences and, 74

as fantasy, 19

in feelings, 138–44

flexibility and, 56–58

habits and, 56–58, 247–48

in healing trauma, 60–61

idea of, 19

internal, 12

for junk food junkie, 62–64

levers of, 56–57

nature and nurture working together and, 74

neurobiological substrates of, 88–92 see also intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs)

as normal part of life, 55

observing, 155–56

optimal stress in overcoming resistance to, 185–219 see also optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

in PACT, 238–43

process of, 10–11, 53–71, 127–28

as process of vertical learning, 235–36

promoting, 56–58

in rats vs. humans, 53–54

reflexive response to, 56

reframing shame in, 68–70

resistance to, 185–219 see also resistance to change

therapeutic, 78–88 see also therapeutic change

therapeutic relationship as agent of, 58–60

trust in, 282

turning your mind into ally in, 61–62

warmth, acceptance, and positive regard in, 59

warmth and intimacy in, 155, 163

when linked to other minds, 58–60

chaos theory

in resistance to change, 202–3

chaotic

defined, 202

chaotic systems

self-organizing, 201–3 see also self-organizing chaotic systems

chief executive control network (CEN), 88

child

“oneness” between mother and, 34

childhood

attachment challenges from, 12–13

children

clinical vignettes of who they are in the world and how they related to others, 12

in therapeutic relationship, 167–83 see also children in therapeutic relationship

children in therapeutic relationship

asking questions of, 170

avoiding reciprocal conversations by, 168

change in, 167–83

communications of curiosity and empathy with, 167–83

judgmental questions asked of, 170

no assumptions of, 171

no conversation-induced shame of, 172

no evaluations of, 171–72

not-knowing curiosity in working with, 169–76

reflective functioning in, 169–70

storytelling voice for, 172

therapeutic curiosity of, 171–73

unconditional empathy in working with, 176–81 see also unconditional empathy

weaving together curiosity and empathy for, 182–83

wonder, suspense, and surprise for, 172–73

Chodron, P., 127, 148

Chomsky, 29

Claparede, 146

Client Motivation for Therapy Scale, 238

CNS. see central nervous system (CNS)

COAL (curiosity, openness, acceptance, love)

in mindful awareness, 284–85

Coghill, G.E., 142

cognitive–affective divide, 87

cognitive decision-making

CEN in, 88

cognitive dissonance, 213–14, 216

cognitive meaning

in patient–analyst relationship, 33

cognitive therapists

levers of change–related beliefs of, 57

Cohn, J.F., 109

Collins, W.A., 83

Columbia University, 139

combat-ability

offensive attitude of, 146

“common sense” conviction, 128–29

“common sense” idea of consciousness, 133

communication

body-based, 97

within groups, 13

in healing trauma, 61

nonverbal, 231

prosodic, 106–9

right-brain to right-brain, 107

slowing down, 267–71

verbal, 230–31

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 167–83

communication process

nonconscious, 25

complex

defined, 202

complex adaptive systems

mathematical model of, 12

compliment(s)

PTSD–related response to, 99

compulsion(s)

to repeat dysfunctional self-protective defenses, 261–62

repetition, 191–95, 253 see also repetition compulsion

concept of change

as fantasy, 19

conflict statements

in resistance to change therapy, 209–12

connectedness

analogical, 160–63

positive emotional, 60

connection

cocreating emergent experience of, 275–90

in establishing sense of self, 11

establishment of, 162

language of, 161–62

power of, 58–60

relational, 11

self and, 156

connectivity

new connections and patterns of, 79

connectivity alterations

within salience network, 89–91

consciousness, 276

as binary phenomenon, 133–34

“common sense” idea of, 133

on continuum, 133–34

core, 134

in cultivating mental health, 276

dyadic state of, 37

object, 157

self as form of, 155, 156

simultaneity of relationship and, 156

subject, 157, 158

constructive introspection

in change, 64–66

continuing pleasure of oneness, 35

control

habits in feeling in, 56–58

conversation(s)

curiosity in, 173–76

ordinary, 159

reciprocal, 168

in relational trauma healing, 155–56

between social speech and inner speech, 159

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 167–83

Conversational Model, 155

conversation-induced shame

of children in therapeutic relationship, 172

conviction

“common sense,” 128–29

coordination

in mind–brain function, 159

core consciousness, 134

coregulation

antidote of, 228–29

in PACT, 235–37

core shame, 70

corpus callosum, 77

corrective experience

in resistance to change therapy, 215

cortex

medial, 137

couple(s)

change in, 221–46 see also couples therapy; psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT)

high-arousal, 224–25

social–emotional engagement in, 228

systems theory for, 221

couples therapy, 12, 221–46. see also psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT)

antidote of coregulation in, 228–29

attunement in, 251–52

case examples, 255–71

change in, 238–43

creating lasting change in, 262–71

danger state in, 228

defenses against attachment challenges from childhood in, 12–13

defenses recognition in, 253–55

discovering defenses in, 255–62

disrupting toxc bonds in, 263–67

effect on long-term relationships and change in both partners, 247–73

error correction in real time in, 229–31

implications for treatment, 252–62

ineffectiveness of, 221

needs in, 251

pain amplification in, 240–41

pain leveraging in moving toward secure functioning in, 242–43

pain localization in, 239–40

pressure maintenance in, 241–42

questioning of purpose for being together in, 233

secure functioning in, 231–35

slowing down communication in, 267–71

therapeutic reestablishment of attention and presence in, 227

threat in, 227–28

understanding brain as aid in, 248–49

working with two brains in, 249–52

Cozolino, L., 10, 53, 75, 168, 277

Craig, A.D., 91

Craig, J., 62

crystallization

as self-organizing chaotic system, 202

cue(s)

nonverbal, 102–5

physical, 101

cultural development

categories of, 162–63

curiosity

in conversation, 173–76

empathy with, 182–83

in group experience, 287

in mindful awareness, 284–85

not-knowing, 169–76

therapeutic, 171–73

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 167–83

curiosity, openness, acceptance, love (COAL)

in mindful awareness, 284–85

Damasio, A.R., 89, 130–31, 154

danger state

in couples therapy, 228

Dart, R., 142

Darwin, C., 128, 132

“Darwin’s Bulldog,” 132

Davis, V., 10, 53

deactivation

of autonomic nervous system, 287

“deadened”

from feelings, 76–77

decoding

described, 102

default mode network (DMN), 91–92

described, 157–58

relational trauma effects on, 157–59

self-referential processing in, 91

defense(s)

in couples therapy, 12–13

discovering, 255–62

dysfunctional self-protective, 261–62

recognition in, 253–55

unevolved, 190–91

defensive action

to adaptive response, 190–91

defensive attitude, 145–48

denial of anger, 147

depression

bodily aspects of, 140–41

Descartes, R., 128–29, 132

detoxification

relational, 216

developing mind

change as destructive to, 73–78

development

brain, 77

cultural, 162–63

Dewey, J., 142

dialogue(s)

affective–reflective, 169

“digital natives,” 86

Dijkstra, K., 100

directed mindfulness, 104

discourse

prosody in, 106

discrete neuropathways

“reweighting” of, 225

disillusionment

affective, 215, 216

disrupted rhythms of psychic life

relational trauma and, 18

disruption

in triggering recovery, 185–219 see also optimal stress; optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

disruption and repair

healing cycles of, 186–89

dissociation

change and, 74

as defense against self-destabilization, 26

from feelings, 76–77

methods of, 84–85

as nonconscious communication process, 25

paradoxical dual role of, 24–25, 32, 47

state-sharing and, 24–25

dissociative communication process

linking state-sharing and psychotherapy, 24

dissociative response(s)

to two self-states, 43–44

dissonance

cognitive, 213–14, 216

distance between interactants, 117

DMN. see default mode network (DMN)

DNA

alterations in, 80

dorsal–motor–vagal–dominated life-threat states, 224

Dreiser, T., 17, 21, 50n

“drip-drip” process of verbal abuse, 74

drug(s)

poisons vs., 203–4

drug abuse

resistance to change related to, 199–200

Duffy, E., 128

duplex self

Jamesian, 155

dyadic oneness, 38

dyadic system

antidote of coregulation in, 228–29

automation and real-time interaction in, 227–31

secure functioning in, 231–35

threat in, 223–26

dynamic psychotherapy

whole-person approach to, 73–96 see also whole-person approach to dynamic psychotherapy

dysfunctional defense(s)

ambivalent attachment to, 186

self-protective, 261–62

dysfunctionality

ambivalent attachment to, 199–200

dysfunctional self-protective defenses

overcoming compulsion to repeat, 261–62

early attachment

developmental phase of, 34–35

early life connections

in establishing sense of self, 11

early life injuries

healing of, 248–49

early relational trauma

case example, 78

impact on developing mind, 73–74

early trauma

impact on developing mind, 73–78

Edelman, G., 154

Egeland, B., 83

ego, 12

id vs., 214

Einstein, A., 132, 191

Ekman, P., 141, 142

Eliot, T.S., 276

embedded relational mindfulness

in nonverbal indicators in therapy, 104

embedded relational mindfulness and interpersonal neurology

body-based therapeutic interventions with concepts of, 279

EMDR. see eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)

emotion(s)

attitude in reconciling, 144–45

autonomic nervous system in, 89

body’s role in, 11

cathartic expressions of, 147

change related to, 127–49

as damaging, 147

defined, 128–35

described, 11, 128–35

facial expression reflecting, 109–10

of fear, 146

food in distancing oneself from, 62–64

imagined situations in studying, 129–31

in inner and interpersonal lives, 10

as lever of change, 56–58

navigating, 147

repression of, 147

as scientific concept, 128

transforming terror related to, 145–48

Zen story of, 135–36

emotional abuse

resistance to change related to, 199

emotional anxiety states

secondary, 146

emotional connectedness

in healing, 60

emotional expression

felt experience vs., 128

emotional responses

creating change in, 137–38

empathic imagination, 161

empathy

curiosity with, 182–83

in therapeutic change, 85–87, 161

unconditional, 176–81 see also unconditional empathy

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 167–83

enactment(s)

case examples, 118–22

processing of, 120–21

in sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective, 118–22

state-sharing and, 24–25

encoding

described, 102

enduring action sequences, 101

energy

pure, 140

engagement

social–emotional, 228

engagement in authentic relationship

in resistance to change therapy, 215–16

environment

as factor in change, 55–56

Erikson, E., 232

error correction in real time

in couples therapy, 229–31

in dyadic system, 229–31

“Ethology and Stress Disease,” 142

eustress

in resistance to change, 205

evolving

in overcoming resistance to change, 200–1

experience(s)

“bottom-up,” 286

change related to, 74

corrective, 215

in facial expressions, 110

felt, 128

group see group experience(s)

neuroplasticity in revealing depth of therapeutic, 10–11

past, 100

perceptual, 29

posture effects of, 100

posture of, 138–44

self as constructor and conduit of, 286–87

sequencing of, 131

subjective, 29

experiencing

somatic, 277

explicit, conscious journey

in sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective, 119–20

explicit self

verbal, 98

expression(s)

cathartic, 147

emotional, 128

facial, 109–11

fleeting, 101

nonverbal, 119

of therapists, 119

eye(s)

narrowing of, 101

eye contact

in psychotherapy, 108–9

in trauma survivors, 108–9

eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), 58

facial expression(s)

case example, 110–11

emotions reflected in, 109–10

in psychotherapy, 109–11

traumatic experience seen in, 110

Fairbairn, W.R.D., 195–98

familiarity

in pair bonding, 227

family(ies)

systems theory for, 221

fantasy

concept of change as, 19

evolution into imagination, 19

in new love, 250

fear

brain changes related to, 60

emotion of, 146

fear of missing out (FoMO), 277

feeling(s)

attitude in reconciling, 144–45

autonomic nervous system in, 89

changing of, 138–44

described, 146–47

dissociation from, 76–77

insula in mediating awareness of, 91

as lever of change, 56–57

overarousal related to, 75–76

in therapy, 283

feeling felt, 13, 275–90

described, 280–82

example of, 281

trust in, 282

feeling unsafe

adverse effects of, 287–88

Felitti, V.J., 77

felt

feeling, 13, 275–90 see also feeling felt

felt experience

emotional expression vs., 128

fight and flight strategies

HPA axis in mobilizing, 82

firing

defined, 283

Fisher, J., 279

fleeting expressions and gestures, 101

flexibility

habits and, 56–58

focus of attention

on body’s sensations and movements, 11

FoMO (fear of missing out), 277

Fonagy, P., 34, 87–88, 234

food

in distancing oneself from emotions, 62–64

Freud, S., 68, 132, 152, 186, 198, 214, 232

Friedman, H., 81

frontal cortex

gray matter volume of, 77

functioning

reflective, 169–70, 234

secure, 231–35 see also secure functioning

Gage, F.H., 79

gain

therapeutic leveraging of pain and, 212–13

Gardner, H., 279–80

gaze

averted/avoidant, 90

in persons with PTSD, 90

gene(s)

“jumping,” 79–80

gene expression, 79–80

Gerbardt, J., 17, 50n

gesture(s)

fleeting, 101

goal-directed therapy

CEN in, 88

“going-on-being,” 153, 157

going with the resistance, 207

Goldilocks principle

optimal stress and, 204–6

Goldstein, B., 13, 275, 279

good

absence of, 215

“good little soldier,” 41

Gould, E., 80

Greenfield, S., 80, 86

grieving

in overcoming resistance to change, 200–1

Grigsby, J., 103

Gross, C.G., 80

group experience(s)

benefits of, 285–86

in cultivating awareness, 276

curiosity in, 287

mindful awareness in, 284

group psychotherapy, 13

cocreating emergent experience of connection, safety, and awareness in, 275–90

communication in, 13

mindful awareness in, 284

growth

idea of change transmuted into, 19

relational authenticity in, 27

growth of wholeness

psychotherapy as, 17–52 see also psychotherapy

habit(s)

change effects on, 247–48

flexibility and, 56–58

in maintaining safety and control, 56–58

maintenance methods for, 56

Hakomi, 277

Hall, J., 117

HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) technique

in disrupting negative patterns, 63–64

hand movement(s), 112–13

Hansberry, L., 60

Harlow, H., 272n–73n

Harrigan, J., 117

Harvard University, 132

Graduate School of Education at, 279

“haven in a heartless world,” 251

Haven, T.J., 77

healing

of early life injuries, 248–49

optimal stress in provoking, 185–219 see also optimal stress; optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

positive emotional connectedness in, 60

storytelling in, 61

therapeutic relationships in, 12

wound debridement in accelerating, 186–87

healing cycles

of disruption and repair, 186–89

healing process

affective safety in, 26–27

relationships in, 10

heartbreak

resistance to change and, 194–95

transformation of, 194–95

Hebb, D., 283

Help Me Love My Baby, 82

Hendrix, H., 268n, 273n

here-and-now exchange

nonverbal behaviors in regulating, 101

high-arousal couple, 224–25

Hilda Kirsch Children’s Clinic, 81

hippocampus, 77

Hobson, R.F., 152, 155

hope

relentless, 193–94

horizontal learning

defined, 235

HPA axis. see hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis

Hughes, D., 11–12, 167

Hughlings, J., 156

hunched shoulders

perpetually, 101

hungry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT) technique

in disrupting negative patterns, 63–64

Hunt, H., 268n

Huxley, A., 142

Huxley, T., 132

hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis

in mobilizing fight and flight strategies, 82

hysteria

defined, 158

ICNs. see intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs)

id, 12

adhesiveness of, 198–99

ego vs., 214

idea of change

transmuted into “growth,” 19

“If You Won’t Leave Me I’ll Find Somebody Who Will,” 191

image(s)

in therapy, 283

imagination

empathic, 161

evolution of fantasy into, 19

imagined situations

in studying emotions, 129

Imago therapy, 273n

immediate effortless awareness

insula in, 91

impingements, 152

implicit (“bottom-up”) information processing, 133

implicit knowing of self, 100

implicit procedural learning

addressing, 103

implicit relational knowing, 99–100

case example, 99–100

defined, 99

as procedural, 99

implicit self

described, 98

nonverbal, 98

as threatened, 100

impulse

“pre-movement,” 133

individuality

negotiation with otherness, 27

individual psychotherapy

cocreating emergent experience of connection, safety, and awareness in, 275–90

inertia

psychic, 198–99

information processing, 276

implicit (“bottom-up”), 133

inner

linkage with inter, 13

inner speech, 159, 162

instinct

survival, 225–26

insula

abnormal activation of, 91

disorders associated with, 89

function of, 89–91

in human awareness, 91

in immediate effortless awareness, 91

in mediating awareness of feelings, 91

right anterior, 91

integration

of mind–brain function, 159–60

process of, 13

in relational trauma healing, 155–56

integrative model of interpersonal neurobiology, 285–86

intelligence

bodily kinesthetic, 280

inter

linkage with inner, 13

interactant(s)

distance between, 117

interaction(s)

attachment-related, 29

with others, 10

real-time, 227–31

interest

reciprocal, 167

internal change

model of, 12

internal narrator, 65–66

internal struggle

in negotiating “me and not-me,” 35

interpersonal attunement, 283

interpersonal neurobiology

integrative model of, 285–86

interpersonal neurology

body-based therapeutic interventions with concepts of, 279

interpersonal/relational phenomenon, 19

inter-psychological category of cultural development, 162

intimacy

in change, 155, 163

defined, 152

in patient/analyst relationship, 27

intra-psychologic category of cultural development, 162–63

intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs), 88–92

CEN, 88

in mental functioning, 88–92

introspection

constructive, 64–66

intuition

insula in, 91

“I think therefore I am,” 132

Jackson, H.J., 11, 156–59

Jacksonian theory of self and trauma, 156–57, 160

Jamesian duplex self, 155

James, W., 11, 129–31, 133, 139, 145, 154–56, 163

Janet, P., 115–16

Jones, A., 82

journey

in sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective, 119–20

judgmental questions

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 170

“jumping genes,” 79–80

junk food junkie

change for, 62–64

Kaschak, M.P., 100

Kaufman, G., 68

Kessler, R.J., 74

kinesthetic intelligence

bodily, 280

Klein, M., 232

knowing

implicit relational, 99–100

knowledge enhancement

in resistance to change therapy, 213–14

Kurtz, R., 102–3, 106, 107, 115

Laird, J.D., 100

language

acquisition of, 29

of connection, 161–62

mastery of, 29–30

reflexive social, 65–66

in relation to acts of meaning, 29–31

right-hemispheric, 162

of self-awareness, 64–66

verbal, 29–31

Lanius, R.A., 74–75, 90–91

Lapides, F., 107

Lasch, C., 251

Lean On Me: The Power of Positive Dependency in Intimate Relationships, 272n

learning

horizontal, 235

implicit procedural, 103

vertical, 235–37 see also vertical learning

left hemisphere

function of, 67

in making things up, 230

meaning-making in, 87

in propositions, 159

in threat detection, 223–24

Levenson, E.A., 27, 30

Levine, P.A., 11, 127

Lévi-Strauss, L., 154

Libet, B., 131–33, 135

life-threat states

dorsal–motor–vagal–dominated, 224

Linehan, M.N., 158

LINE-1 (l.1) retrotransposons, 79–80

Liotti, G., 152–53

locomotion

in psychotherapy, 114–15

long-interspersed (LINE-1) retrotransposons, 79–80

long-term potentiation (LTP)

described, 239

neuroplasticity and, 238–43

long-term relationships

couples therapy effects on, 247–73 see also couples therapy

love

brain in, 250

in mindful awareness, 284–85

new, 250

romantic, 250

LTP. see long-term potentiation (LTP)

Luce, C.B., 209

Lyons-Ruth, K., 99

Mahler, M., 232, 252

Martel, Y., 145

Masterson, J., 237–38

mathematical model of complex adaptive systems, 12

matryoshka effect, 248, 253, 272n

McCartney, P., 143–44

McDougall, 146

McFarlane, A., 77

me

we vs., 282

“me and not-me”

internal struggle in negotiating, 35

meaning(s). see also specific types, e.g., cognitive meaning

acts of, 29–31

cognitive, 33

personal, 29–30

meaning-making

in left hemisphere, 87

in therapeutic change, 87–88

meaning-making network, 88–91

therapeutic encounter stimulating, 89

meaning-making therapy, 75

Meares, R., 11, 151, 152

medial pre-frontal cortex, 137

medication(s)

poisons vs., 203–4

memory(ies)

state-dependent, 228

unconscious traumatic, 153–54

working, 88

mental functioning

ICNs in, 88–92 see also intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs)

mental health

consciousness in cultivating, 276

understanding, 275–76

mental life

being aware in, 275–76

mental wellness

understanding, 275–76

Menuhen, Y., 143

microexpressions, 109–10

Mind, 281–82

mind(s)

as ally in change, 61–62

change as destructive to developing, 73–78

described, 276

linking with other, 58–60

as product of many interacting brains, 55

unity of, 151–66 see also relational trauma

mind–brain–body interface

in state-sharing, 23

mind–brain function

integration of, 159–60

mindedness

in narcissistic personality disorder, 230

one-, 230

separate, 230

mindful awareness

COAL in, 284–85

in group experience, 284

mindfulness

directed, 104

embedded relational, 104

to nonverbal indicators in therapy, 102–3

uses of, 104

mindfulness interventions

body-based embedded, 98

mindsight, 234

Mipham, S., 61

“miscarriage of behavior,” 146

mother(s)

“oneness” between child and, 34

movement(s)

arm, 112–13

body, 111–12

in denoting meaning, 98

focus of attention on, 11

hand, 112–13

preparatory, 111–12

Mrs. Stevens Hears the Mermaids Singing, 64

Muotri, A.R., 79

mutism

selective, 34

narcissism

romantic relationships and, 230

narcissistic personality disorder

awareness of separate mindedness in, 230

narrative(s)

of future events, 74

overarousal when listening to one’s own, 75

self-state, 32

somatic, 98

narrator(s)

internal, 65–66

narrowing of eyes, 101

nature and nurture

change related to, 74

nature of self, 24

“nearness of you”

described, 37

in psychotherapy, 37–40

need(s)

attachment, 225–26

of couples, 251

negative bias

of brain, 224

of right hemisphere of brain, 67

negative patterns

HALT technique in disrupting, 63–64

negativity

right hemisphere of brain and, 67

neglect

not simply, 35–37

negotiation

of individuality and otherness, 27

internal struggle with “me and not-me,” 35

self–other, 34

of self-state differences with those of others, 25

nervous system

overactivation of, 287

neural functioning

in borderline personality patients, 11

neurobiological substrates of change, 88–92. see also intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs)

neurobiology

interpersonal, 285–86

neuroception, 289

neuron(s)

making of new, 78–79

in plasticity, 79

neuropathways

“reweighting” of, 225

neuroplasticity

LTP and, 238–43

in revealing depth of therapeutic experience, 10–11

new love

as magic, 250

Newman, P., 143–44

no-fault principle

in PACT, 229–30

nonconscious communication process

dissociation as, 25

nonrecognition

in psychotherapy, 34–37

trauma of, 34–37

nonverbal behavior(s)

clear vs. confusing, 102

conscious vs. unconscious, 102

encoding and decoding in, 102

functions of, 101–2

intentional vs. unintentional, 102

observance of, 104

in regulating here-and-now exchange between people, 101

in toning down verbal message, 101

nonverbal communication

errors from, 231

nonverbal cues

as indicators, 102–5 see also nonverbal indicators in therapy

nonverbal exchanges, 97–125. see also sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective

nonverbal expressions

of therapists, 119

nonverbal implicit self

verbal explicit self vs., 98 see also explicit self; implicit self

nonverbal indicators. see also nonverbal indicators in therapy

described, 102–3

determination of, 105

processed without conscious consideration, 107

nonverbal indicators in therapy, 102–19

activation of, 103

arm movements, 112–13

being mindful of, 102–3

calling attention to, 103

determination of, 105

embedded relational mindfulness in, 104

exploration of, 103

eye contact, 108–9

facial expression, 109–11

hand movements, 112–13

locomotion, 114–15

observing, 103, 104

posture, 115–16

preparatory movements, 111–12

prosody, 105–7

proximity, 116–18

recognition of, 103

walking, 114–15

“no-pain/no-gain” approach, 190

not-knowing curiosity

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 169–76

Nouwen, H., 147

nurture

nature and, 74

nurturing

in survival, 60

object consciousness, 157

offensive attitude

of protection, combat-ability, and assertiveness, 146

Ogden, P., 11, 12, 25–26, 97, 279, 288

one-mindedness, 230

nonpathological, 230

oneness

continuing pleasure of, 35

dyadic, 38

between mother and child, 34

openness

in mindful awareness, 284–85

in therapeutic relationship, 59

optimal stress

from defensive reaction to adaptive response in, 190–91

described, 205

Goldilocks principle and, 204–6

indirect and direct advancement of, 189–190

in provoking psychological change, 185–219 see also optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

self-organizing chaotic systems vs., 204

optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change, 185–219

challenges in providing impetus and support to provide opportunity in, 206–8

complementary modes of therapeutic action in, 213–17

conflict statements in, 209–12

from defensive reaction to adaptive response in, 190–91

described, 204–6

grieving and evolving to acceptance in, 200–1

indirect and direct advancement of, 189–190

in psychodynamic psychotherapy, 185–219

in psychotherapeutic interventions, 209–12

sandpile model in, 206

self-organizing chaotic systems resist perturbation in, 201–3

therapeutic leveraging of pain and gain in, 212–13

otherness

negotiating, 25

negotiation with individuality, 27

outcome

cumulative history of care as predictor of, 83

overarousal

feelings and, 75–76

when listening to one’s own trauma narrative, 75

PACT. see psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT)

PAI. see Partner Attachment Inventory (PAI)

pain

empathy for child in, 180

living through, 147–48

storytelling in healing, 61

suffering vs., 70

therapeutic leveraging of gain and, 212–13

pain amplification

in PACT, 240–41

pain leveraging

in moving toward secure functioning, 242–43

pain localization

in PACT, 239–40

pair bonding

basis of, 227

Paracelsus, T., 203–4

paradoxical dual role of dissociation, 24–25, 32, 47

PART (presence, attunement, resonance, trust)

in therapy, 282–83, 289

Partner Attachment Inventory (PAI), 239–40

Pascal, B., 129

past

visiting, 87

past experiences

meanings of, 100

patient–analyst relationship. see patient–therapist relationship

patient–therapist relationship

cognitive meaning in, 33

intimacy in, 27

perception in, 31

power of, 17–18

as source of therapeutic action, 28

Pelletier, L.G., 238

perception, 288

defined, 29

not simply neglect in, 35–37

in patient–analyst relationship, 31

personal meaning and, 29–30

in psychotherapy, 28–33

in relation to acts of meaning, 29–31

in seeing and being seen, 33

self-narratives and, 31–33

perception of self

shift in, 281–82

perceptual experience, 29

perpetually hunched shoulders, 101

personality development

disruption in, 152–53

personal meaning

perception and, 29–30

personal selves

thoughts and, 156–59

physical cues

in strengthening and emphasizing verbal points, 101

physical distance

between interactants, 117

negotiating, 117

Piaget, J., 232

plasticity

brain, 78–81 see also brain plasticity

poison(s)

medications vs., 203–4

polyvagal system

in mediating social engagement, 82

Porges, S.W., 82, 158, 228, 283, 287, 289

positive emotional connectedness

in healing, 60

positive regard

in therapeutic relationship, 59

posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

direct gaze in persons with, 90

heightened threat sensitivity in persons with, 90–91

impact on developing mind, 75

negative response to compliments by people with, 99

salience network and, 90

subcortical alarm system activation in persons with, 83

posture

in denoting meaning, 98

of experience, 138–44

experience and self-perception impact on, 100

in psychotherapy, 115–16

potentiation

long-term, 238–43 see also long-term potentiation (LTP)

pre-frontal cortex

medial, 137

“pre-movement” impulse, 133

preparatory movement(s), 111–12

presence

in couples therapy, 227

in therapy, 282–83, 289

presence, attunement, resonance, trust (PART), 282–83, 289

pre-sense, 288

pressure maintenance

in PACT, 241–42

Prestera, H., 115

primary visual cortex, 133

private space

using own mind as, 42

procedural learning

implicit, 103

procedural memory system, 228

processing

self-referential, 91

prolotherapy, 187

proposition(s)

left hemisphere in, 159

prosodic communication

eye contact in, 108–9

right-brain to right-brain, 107

prosody

case examples, 106–7

in communication, 106

described, 105–6

in discourse, 106

in psychotherapy, 105–7

protection

offensive attitude of, 146

proto-conversation, 11, 152, 159

in right hemisphere, 160

proximity

case examples, 117–18

factors affecting preference for, 116–17

of interactants, 117

negotiating physical distance, 117

in psychotherapy, 116–18

psychic change

observing, 155–56

psychic equivalence mode, 34

psychic inertia, 198–99

psychic life

disrupted rhythms of, 152–53

psychic pain

storytelling in healing, 61

psychoanalysis

bridge between psychotherapy and, 24

as therapeutic, 27

psychobiological approach to couples therapy (PACT), 12, 221–46. see also couples therapy

agreement in, 234

antidote of coregulation in, 228–29

automation and real-time interaction in, 227–31

case examples, 222, 224–25, 227, 229, 230, 235, 239–42

change in, 238–43

coregulation in, 235–37

described, 221–23

focus on threat in, 223–26

LTP and neuroplasticity in, 238–43

moving toward secure functioning in, 237–43

no-fault principle in, 229–30

pain amplification in, 240–41

pain leveraging in moving toward secure functioning in, 242–43

pain localization in, 239–40

pressure maintenance in, 241–42

questioning of purpose for being together in, 233

secure functioning in, 231–35

self-determination theory in, 238

therapeutic alliance in, 235–37

vertical learning in, 235–37

psychobiological development

autism and, 232

symbiosis and, 232

psychodynamic psychotherapy

optimal stress as tool in, 185–219 see also optimal stress; optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

psychodynamic therapists

levers of change–related beliefs of, 57

psychological change. see change

psychotherapeutic growth

relational authenticity and, 27

psychotherapeutic interventions

optimally stressful, 209–12

psychotherapist(s)

dangers plaguing, 87–88

factors shaping experiences of, 9–10

levers of change–related beliefs of, 56–57

psychotherapy

bridge between psychoanalysis and, 24

cocreating emergent experience of connection, safety, and awareness in, 275–90

dissociative communication process linking state-sharing with, 24

dynamic see dynamic psychotherapy

group, 13, 275–90

as growth of wholeness, 17–52

individual, 275–90

“nearness of you” in, 37–40

nonrecognition in, 34–37

perception in, 28–33

process of, 18

prosody in, 105–7 see also prosody

psychodynamic, 185–219

relational authenticity in, 27–28

as relational experience, 23

safety and authenticity in, 26–27

sensorimotor, 277–79

unbidden in, 18–26

uncertainty of, 23

psychotic core

in structurally disorganized person, 226

P3a, 158–60

P3b, 158–60

PTSD. see posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

pure energy, 140

pursuit

relentless, 186, 193–94

of unattainable, 200

putting into words therapy, 75

question(s)

for children in therapeutic relationship, 170

judgmental, 170

rage, 146

real-time interaction

in dyadic system, 227–31

“Receiving Love: Transforming Your Relationship And Letting Yourself Be Loved,” 268n

reciprocal conversations

children in therapeutic relationship avoiding, 168

reciprocal interest and care

for children in therapeutic relationship, 167

recognition

defense, 253–55

recovery

precipitating disruption in triggering, 185–219 see also optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

redemption, 56

reflective functioning, 234

in children in therapeutic relationship, 169–70

reflexive response

to change, 56

reflexive social language (RSL), 65–66

regulation

affect, 83–85

Reichian therapy, 277

relational authenticity, 27–28

psychotherapeutic growth related to, 27

self-state in, 27–28

relational connection

who we become determined by, 11

relational detoxification, 216

relational experience

psychotherapy as, 23

relational knowing

implicit, 99–100

relational mindfulness

embedded, 104

relational trauma, 151–66

analogical connectedness and, 160–63

borderline personality disorder and, 152–53, 155

concept of self and, 154–55

described, 152

disrupted rhythms of psychic life and, 152–53

DMN effects of, 157–59

early, 73–74, 78

integration and conversation related to, 155–56

integration and right hemisphere in, 159–60

intimacy in dealing with, 152

Jacksonian theory of self and trauma in, 156–57, 160

mind–brain function effects of, 159–60

therapeutic field for, 153–54

relationship(s). see also specific types

authentic, 215–16

in healing process, 10

long-term, 241–73 see also couples therapy

narcissism and, 230

patient/analyst see patient/therapist relationship

patient/therapist see patient/therapist relationship

romantic, 230

secure functioning, 233

state of consciousness and, 156

therapeutic see therapeutic relationship(s)

relentless hope

repetition compulsion and, 193

relentless pursuit

in resistance to change, 193–94

of unattainable, 186, 200

repair

disruption and, 186–89

repetition compulsion, 253

described, 191–92

heartbreak and, 194–95

relentless hope and, 193

in resistance to change, 191–93

resilient sense of self, 284

resistance, 253

going with, 207

resistance to change

adhesiveness of id and, 198–99

alcohol abuse in, 199–200

ambivalent attachment to bad objects and, 195–98

ambivalent attachment to dysfunctionality and, 199–200

anxiety in, 205

chaos theory in, 202–3

drug abuse in, 199–200

emotional abuse in, 199

engagement in authentic relationship in, 215–16

eustress in, 205

heartbreak and, 194–95

knowledge enhancement in therapy for, 213–14

optimal stress in, 185–219 see also optimal stress; optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

presence of bad in, 215–16

provision of corrective experience in therapy for, 215

pursuit of unattainable love object in, 200

relentless hope in, 193–94

repetition compulsion in, 191–93

self-organizing chaotic systems in, 202–3

self-sabotaging behavior and, 199–200

resonance

in therapy, 282–83, 289

response

adaptive, 190–91

response(s)

reflective, 56

retrotransposons

LINE-1, 79–80

“reweighting” of discrete neuropathways, 225

rhythms of psychic life

disrupted, 152, 153

right-brain to right-brain prosodic communication, 107

right-brain to right-brain state-sharing, 24–25

right hemisphere

function of, 66–67

in language of connectedness, 162

in mind–brain function, 159

negativity and, 67

potential language that is abbreviated and emotional in, 160

proto-conversation in, 160

survival and, 67

in threat detection, 223

right-hemisphere

language in, 162

“right-hemisphere modality,” 107

risk

insula in, 91

Rogers, C.R., 53, 59

Rolfing, 277

romantic love, 250

romantic relationships

narcissism and, 230

Roosevelt, E., 55, 209

Rosenthal, R., 117

RSL. see reflexive social language (RSL)

Sacks, O., 133

sadness

bodily aspects of, 140–41

safe

habits in feeling, 56–58

“safe but not too safe” negotiation of individuality and otherness, 27

“safe surprises,” 23, 26

example of, 45

safety

in activating social engagement system, 288

affective, 26–27

cocreating emergent experience of, 275–90

in psychotherapy, 26–27

salience network, 88–91

averted/avoidant gaze and, 90

case example, 90

connectivity alterations within, 89–91

connectivity disturbances within, 89–91

described, 88–89

insula in, 89–91

PTSD and, 90

therapeutic encounter stimulating, 89

salvation, 56

sandpile model

paradoxical impact of stress and, 206

sandplay trays

in helping patients explore their inner world, 81

Sarton, M., 64

Saturday Night Live, 191

Schnall, S., 100

Schore, A.N., 23–26, 32, 47, 49, 74, 81–82, 85–87, 93, 109, 152, 159, 160

secondary emotional anxiety states, 146

secure functioning

in couples therapy, 231–35

defined, 233

in dyadic creatures, 232–34

in dyadic system, 231–35

moving toward, 237–43

in PACT, 231–35

pain leveraging in moving toward, 242–43

theory of mind in, 234–35

secure functioning relationships, 233

seeing

perception in, 33

Seidel, J., 58

selective mutism, 34

self

complexity of, 157

concept of, 154–55

connection and, 156

as constructor and conduit of experience, 286–87

defined, 154

emerging of, 157

explicit, 98

as form of consciousness, 155, 156

implicit, 98, 100

Jacksonian theory related to, 156–57, 160

Jamesian duplex, 155

nature of, 24

neural basis of, 154

as one-person system, 155

sense of see sense of self

shift in perception of, 281–82

thoughts and, 156–59

words as window into, 154–55

self-awareness

language of, 64–66

self-continuity

perceived as threatened, 99

self-destabilization

dissociation as defense against, 26

self-determination theory

in PACT, 238

self-narratives

perception and, 31–33

self-organizing

defined, 202

self-organizing chaotic systems

examples of, 202

optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change and, 201–3

in resistance to change, 202–3

in resistance to perturbation, 201–3

stressors vs., 204

self–other aliveness, 30–31

self–other negotiation, 34

self–otherness

evolution of, 49

state-sharing and, 22–24

self-perception

posture effects of, 100

self-protection

against trauma, 83–85

self-protective defenses

dysfunctional, 261–62

self-referential processing

DMN in, 91

self-reflection

as cherished retreat from demands and chaos of outer world, 65

self-sabotaging behavior

resistance to change related to, 199–200

self-state(s), 10

case examples, 118–22

described, 40

multiple, 43–44

in relational authenticity, 27–28

in sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective, 118–22

structure of, 36

of therapists, 119

self-state communion, 24

self-state context, 27

self-state fluidity, 36

self-state narratives

in paradoxical dual role of dissociation, 32

self-state perspective

affect tolerance from, 25–26

Selye, H., 205

sensation(s)

bodily, 138

focus of attention on, 11

in therapy, 283

sensations, images, feelings, thoughts (SIFT)

in therapy, 283

sense of self

connections with each other early in life in establishing, 11

determination of, 100

resilient, 284

sense of shame

reframing, 68–70 see also shame

sensorimotor psychotherapy, 277–79

sensorimotor psychotherapy perspective, 97–125

explicit, conscious journey in, 119–20

functions of nonverbal behavior in, 101–2

implicit knowing of self in, 100

implicit relational knowing in, 99–100

nonverbal indicators in therapy in, 102–18 see also nonverbal indicators; nonverbal indicators in therapy

self-states and enactment in, 118–22

separate mindedness

in narcissistic personality disorder, 230

sequencing of experience

studies of, 131

shame

conversation-induced, 172

core, 70

managing, 70

reframing, 68–70

suffering due to, 70

understanding, 68–70

value of, 69

Shedler, J., 86–87

Sheldrake, R., 50n

Sherrington, C., Sir, 142

Shopenhauer, 132

shoulders

perpetually hunched, 101

Sieff, D.F., 85, 280, 282–83

Siegel, D.J., 9, 85, 234, 275

SIFT (sensations, images, feelings, thoughts)

in therapy, 283

Skinner, B.F., 57

social brain

in adaptation, 55–56

in attuning to mental activities of others, 59–60

flexibility and, 56–58

habits and, 56–58

implications of having, 58–60

social–emotional engagement, 228

social engagement

polyvagal system in mediating, 82

social engagement system

as “online” from birth, 82

safety in activating, 288

socialization

dissociatively co-created form of, 36

social language

reflexive, 65–66

social organ of adaptation

brain as, 55–56

social speech, 159

social status schema, 277

Socrates, 33, 70

solitude

as cherished retreat from demands and chaos of outer world, 65

Solomon, M., 9, 12–13, 230, 247, 272n

somatic experiencing, 277

basis of, 138

somatic markers, 130–31

somatic narrative, 98

“Speak! That I May See You,” 33

speech

inner, 159, 162

social, 159

Sroufe, L.A., 83

“standing in the spaces,” 32

Stark, M., 12, 185

startle

physical sensation of, 136

startle reaction, 91

state(s)

danger, 228

dorsal–motor–vagal–dominated life-threat, 224

state-dependent memory, 228

statement(s)

conflict, 209–12

state of consciousness

simultaneity of relationship and, 156

state-sharing, 49

case example, 40–49

described, 22–25

dissociation and enactment and, 24–25

dissociative communication process linking psychotherapy with, 24

mind–brain–body interface in, 23

process of, 42–49

right-brain to right-brain, 24–25

self–otherness and, 22–24

“staying the same while changing,” 19

Steuwe, C., 90

Stevens, D., 103

Stevenson, J., 152

Still Face experiments

of Tronick, 115

stimulus–response chains

in brain, 63–64

stimulus–response patterns

disruption of, 56

Sting, 143–44

storytelling

in healing psychic pain, 61

storytelling voice

for children in therapeutic relationship, 172

Strack, F., 142

stress

optimal, 185–219 see also optimal stress; optimal stress in overcoming resistance to change

sandpile model and paradoxical impact of, 206

structurally disorganized person

psychotic core in, 226

structure(s)

self-state, 36

subcortical alarm system

PTSD in activation of

subject consciousness, 157, 158

subjective experience, 29

suffering

pain vs., 70

shame as cause of, 70

superego, 12, 67

surprise

of children in therapeutic relationship, 172–73

survival

right hemisphere of brain and, 67

survival instinct

threat detection and attachment needs in, 225–26

suspense

of children in therapeutic relationship, 172–73

“switched off”

from feelings, 76–77

symbiosis

psychobiological development and, 232

systems theory

for couples, 221

for families, 221

Tatkin, S., 12, 221, 239

Tennes, M., 50n

terror

brain changes related to, 60

transforming, 145–48 see also transforming terror

terror-panic, 146

“The Alexander Method,” 142–44

The Attitude Theory of Emotion, 139

The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, 128

The Life of Pi, 145

“The Nearness of You,” 38

“the nearness of you,” 50n

theory of mind

in dyadic system, 234–35

in PACT therapy, 234–35

in secure functioning, 234–35

therapeutic action(s)

described, 97

patient–therapist relationship as source of, 28

therapeutic alliance

in PACT, 235–37

therapeutic change

affect regulation in, 83–85

attachment in, 81–83

empathy in, 85–87

fostering, 78–88

meaning-making in, 87–88

plasticity of brain in, 78–81

therapeutic curiosity

of children, 171–73

therapeutic empathy

in working with children in therapeutic relationship, 176–81 see also unconditional empathy

therapeutic experience(s)

neuroplasticity in revealing depth of, 10–11

therapeutic relationship(s)

as agent of change, 58–60

change in children related to, 167–83 see also children in therapeutic relationship

at heart of healing, 12

therapeutic response

stereotypic, 161

therapist(s). see also specific types, e.g., psychotherapist(s)

dangers plaguing, 87–88

empathy of, 161

nonverbal expressions of, 119

self-states of, 119

The Science of the Art of Psychotherapy, 25

The Shadow of the Tsunami, 38, 40–49

The Use of the Self, 142–43

thought(s)

as lever of change, 56–57

self and, 156

in therapy, 283

threat

brain effects of, 223–25

in couples therapy, 227–28

detection of, 223–25 see also threat detection

in dyadic system, 223–26

hypothalamic-mediated, 224

to implicit self, 100

to narcissistic person, 230

threat detection

areas involved in, 223–25

instinct to survive and, 225–26

threat sensitivity

in persons with PTSD, 90–91

Tinbergen, N., 142

tolerance

affect, 25–26

arousal, 26

“top-down” paradigm

Cartesian/cognitive, 129–30

“top-down” processing, 129–30, 286

toxic bonds

disrupting, 263–67

transformation, 56

transforming terror, 145–48

transposons, 79

trauma

anxiety vs., 35–36

brain changes related to, 60

default mode network effects on, 157–59

described, 35–36

early, 73–74, 78

healing, 60–61

Jacksonian theory related to, 156–57, 160

relational, 151–66 see also relational trauma

self-protection against, 83–85

trauma narrative

overarousal when listening to one’s own, 75

trauma of nonrecognition, 34–37

trauma survivors

causality misconstrued by, 134–35

eye contact as frightening for, 108–9

traumatic experience

in facial expressions, 110

traumatic memory(ies)

unconscious, 153–54

traumatic memory system, 153–54

Trevarthen, C., 11, 152, 159

Tronick, E.Z., 37, 98, 109

Still Face experiments of, 115

trust

in change, 282

in feeling felt, 282

in therapeutic relationship, 59

in therapy, 282–83, 289

Tsu, L., 56

Tymanski, R., 87

unattainable

relentless pursuit of, 186, 200

uncertainty

becoming comfortable with, 286

insula in, 91

of psychotherapy, 23

unconditional empathy

case examples, 178–81

characteristics of, 177–78

for children in therapeutic relationship, 176–81

unconscious traumatic memory

system of, 153–54

unevolved defense

to adaptation, 190–91

unity of mind

fostering of, 151–66 see also relational trauma

University of California Medical School, San Francisco, 131

University of Western Ontario, 74–75

University of Würzburg, Germany, 142

unsafe

feeling, 287–88

“use your words,” 171

van der Kolk, B., 85–87, 91

ventral vagal complex, 109

verbal abuse

“drip-drip” process of, 74

verbal communication

errors from, 230–31

verbal explicit self

nonverbal implicit self vs., 98 see also explicit self; implicit self

verbal language

in relation to acts of meaning, 29–31

verbal points

physical cues in strengthening and emphasizing, 101

vertical learning

change as, 235–36

defined, 235

in PACT, 235–37

Virgil, 133

visiting past in therapy

timing for, 87

visual cortex

primary, 133

vulnerability

during brain development, 77

Vygotsky, L.S., 159, 162

walking

in psychotherapy, 114–15

warmth

in change, 155, 163

in therapeutic relationship, 59

Washington, N., 49

we

me vs., 282

Wegner, D.M., 132–33

wellness

mental, 275–76

wholeness

psychotherapy as growth of, 17–52 see also psychotherapy

whole-person approach to dynamic psychotherapy, 73–96

case example, 83–87

fostering therapeutic change by, 78–88 see also therapeutic change

neurobiological substrates of change in, 88–92 see also intrinsic connectivity networks (ICNs)

who we become

relational connection in, 11

Wilkinson, M., 10–11, 73

windows of affect tolerance, 26

Winnicott, D.W., 50n, 152, 153, 215, 234, 237

wiring

defined, 283

wonder

of children in therapeutic relationship, 172–73

“wonder of we”, 249

working memory

CEN in, 88

World Trade Center tragedy survivor

transformation of terror in, 145–48

wound debridement

in accelerating healing, 186–87

Wundt, W., 132

Zen “teaching story,” 135–36

Zevon, W., 191

Zwaann, R.A., 100