5

Problem Prevention and Life Enhancement

Animals and children are often treated as if they weren’t concerned with what goes on in the family. As leaders of the household, adults are prone to making decisions and changes without letting animal companions or children know what’s happening. Sometimes this causes long-term physical and mental suffering, as in the following story.

Tara was a very forlorn Irish setter, who had been presenting a slight fever and refusal to eat when her person called me for help. All Tara could tell me was that she felt sad. I asked her person if Tara had experienced a loss of someone or something before the change in behavior occurred. He mentioned that he had broken up with his girlfriend a few weeks earlier.

Hearing this, Tara started talking to me about how she missed the girl so much. We communicated awhile, getting all of Tara’s thoughts and feelings about the subject. It turned out that Tara thought that she was to blame for the breakup. She had been so happy with both of her human friends until the time they closed the door and talked for many hours, leaving Tara confused as to what was going on. The next thing Tara knew, the girl was packing and leaving. Not knowing what went on between the two people, she went into grief and hopelessness, blaming herself and thinking she must have done something very bad.

No one had explained the situation to Tara or thought about how she would be affected by it. Some people do the same with children. Thinking children wouldn’t understand anyway, they fail to make clear what is really happening in events that concern them. The person or animal may feel responsible for the bad situation, and they may experience anxiety, confusion, or despair over it.

Tara really brightened upon relating this and earlier instances of this type of misunderstanding. She returned to her normal enthusiasm when she found out what really happened, with the promise of seeing her person’s ex-girlfriend again.

Not all animals are equally sensitive or needful of being carefully informed. Know your animal friend. Don’t tell your animal companions (or children) that everything is okay when it isn’t. If they don’t hear from you first, they may feel shocked or confused when they find out the truth, or generate their own interpretation of what is going on.

Gently and honestly communicate the real situation in a way that can be understood, so they have a chance to absorb it. Being left in confusion can be hazardous to your animal friend’s mental and physical health. An unexplained loss can result in illness or even injury from accidents brought on by emotional strain, which can throw animals out of phase with their surroundings. Be sure your animal friends understand. This can prevent a lot of distress.

A simple matter of letting your animal companions know how long you’ll be gone from home can ease anxiety. Don’t worry about what other people think when they hear you talking things over with your animal friends. It may even jog their preconceived notions about animal intelligence and help them to respect and understand animals more. Criticism should be tossed aside when your household’s happiness is at stake.

PURPOSES

This section may help change your whole relationship with your animal companions through one simple instruction: ensure that each of your animal friends has, knows, and fulfills a purpose.

By doing this, you may avoid many behavior problems, and thereby increase happiness and life expectancy. You will tend to respect and treat animals more as intelligent beings. They will feel happier, more responsible, and more responsive because they are truly contributing as members of the family.

Let me relate the case of a poodle named Zor. Zor’s person couldn’t understand or solve Zor’s destructiveness when he left him in the yard to go to work for the day. Zor would bang on the back door and windows until he managed to break into the house. The person had not wanted to leave Zor in the house while he was gone for fear he would urinate or chew on something.

Zor was very intelligent and direct in his communication to me. He made it clear that he wanted to be close to his human friend, even when he went to work, by being inside the house to guard his person’s belongings. It frustrated Zor so much to be left out in the yard. He feared someone might get into the house and tamper with his person’s treasured stereo and photographic equipment.

The reason he had urinated and chewed before was to mark his person’s belongings, out of anxiety that someone would touch them while Zor was not around to guard them directly. Not understanding Zor’s behavior and thinking his dog could not understand what he said, his person never explained exactly what was needed. His person also thought Zor would be happier all day in the fresh air and never clearly observed what the dog really wanted to do.

By communicating with both dog and person, we cleared up all the misunderstandings, with smiles all around. (Dogs do smile but not always with their mouths as humans do!) The person decided to let Zor stay in the house and guard all day, which resulted in a very cheerful, responsible dog and a more understanding, happy human.

The preceding story exemplifies why it’s so important to establish your animal friend’s purpose or position in the family. Here is a general approach:

 

1. Observe what your cat, horse, dog, turtle, or bird likes and is genetically suited to do, and what activity enhances your coexistence. For example, your Siamese cat likes to keep her area clean, your German shepherd likes to look after the kids, or your Chihuahua takes pride in patrolling your yard and barking when strangers approach.

 

2. Talk it over with your animal friends, and establish what purposes or jobs they can fulfill in relation to you and your environment. Be sure the functions are suited to the animal’s physical capacities. Don’t ask your turtle to answer the phone and take messages, even though she wants to communicate with your friends. Ask her instead to look after the apartment by radiating her brightness and warm presence there. Ask your Siamese to help keep the place clean and cheerful, and your German shepherd to watch the kids when they play in the yard.

 

3. Don’t punish animals when they don’t seem to do exactly as you want. Be patient and resolve any disagreements or misunderstandings. Reestablish what is needed in alignment with the animals’ natural physical and personal inclinations.

 

Other examples of jobs or purposes that many animals take up happily are: keeping you happy; cheering you up when you’re down; entertaining the family with antics; creating warmth around the house so all feel welcome; adding beauty to the environment with their physical appearance, mannerisms, song, or purr; guarding property; creating a feeling of safety so that no negative influences can enter; getting you out to exercise; keeping you calm and soothing tensions; expanding your viewpoints about life; sharing or enhancing an activity you enjoy, such as running, swimming, Frisbee competition, or equestrian skills; or even spiritually assisting you with your activities at a distance.

After I gave a lecture, a man with five small dogs decided to take my advice. His dogs normally competed with each other for his attention and created chaos when he walked in the door. So now he communicated with each one separately, let them know their special task, and acknowledged them for doing well when they responded to him. To his surprise, his dogs settled down and were considerably easier to live with; the whole family was happier.

Before I would leave the house, if I wasn’t taking my male Afghan hound, Pasha, with me, I let him know where I was going, approximately how long I’d be gone, why I couldn’t take him, and what I expected from him while I was gone, such as taking care of the house or looking after the cats. When I returned, I’d quickly inspect the area, thank Pasha for doing his job, and give him a hug of appreciation. Even though he wished he could have gone with me, this made any disappointment vanish, as he was contributing to our collective well-being, and felt valuable and loved.

The departure does not have to be a long, drawn-out ritual when your animal friends are accustomed to your direct communication. Just a matter-of-fact, quick thought, and it’s all understood. For years, I didn’t need to go into great detail with Pasha when I was leaving, since he was well versed in what to expect and he did his job well.

Another example of how animals respond to having a worthwhile job to do was the case of Anna, a horse. She was being cared for by a lady who had not ridden her, as she had had a bad experience on another horse and was afraid to ride again.

Anna had the reputation of being stubborn and hard to ride. I saw as I talked to her that she was a very wise being who had been handled with lack of respect by the people who held this poor opinion of her. When I explained to Anna that her person was afraid of horses since her bad experience and needed help to regain confidence, Anna was very soft and understanding. The lady was overjoyed when she later rode Anna and had a great experience, restoring her confidence around horses.

Most beings respond to honesty and sincerity. Animals will normally sense your fears, anger, or other feelings anyway, so there’s no use in trying to cover them up. It’s best to talk over how you feel and what you need in order to establish a basis for cooperation and understanding. With your communication basics properly applied, you will know if they are with you in spirit. Most will be.

I had a similar experience with a reputedly high-strung horse in one of my first times in the saddle. This was the riding instructor’s mare, who normally responded only to her person, and we were going to have a lesson. I respected the horse’s sensitivity and intelligence, and I told her that I was a novice and would appreciate gentle treatment.

While I was riding, the instructor was amazed when the horse obeyed my wishes to slow down over her own directions to speed up. Even though they had great rapport, the horse was empathetic to my needs because of the communication we had established. The horse was being kind to me by helping me have a good experience, and I truly appreciated it!

When an animal’s job or purpose is firmly recognized, validated, and established, near miraculous cooperation and joy can appear with previously destructive, moody, or generally unhappy animals. Those animals that are already in happy harmony with you are productive members of their family or society, enjoying and fulfilling their purposes. We all appreciate being included and contributing to each other as best we can.

FREEDOM, CONTROL, AND OBEDIENCE

Are you confused regarding how much freedom you should give your animal companions? Does the subject of rules, control, or obedience send you spinning?

Some people insist that their animal companions be under their strict control, obeying them at all times. They punish animals who relax even slightly from their regimen. They are the masters, and their animals are the slaves. Both behave like robots in relationship to each other, the person constantly domineering and the animal always subservient.

In the other extreme, the human allows animal companions to do anything. There are no rules. If the animals want to walk all over dinner on the table or urinate on the bed, they are pampered and catered to, no matter how inconvenient it is for others. The person has a propitiating or sickening, sympathetic attitude toward animals, who dominate the human’s behavior toward them.

Between both extremes fall most of us with animals in the family. We all may wonder at times how strict we should be in handling our animal companions, what freedoms we should allow, and what the rules should be.

There is no fixed answer to this issue, as a lot depends on individual preference and circumstances. There should be known, consistent, consensual freedoms and rules for the sanity and happiness of all involved. Animal companions need certain commonsense freedoms to fulfill their nature, like freedom to exercise and play, and to be a part of the family.

There have to be rules that establish the limits of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. These may vary according to lifestyle and needs, but if there are no definite rules, then there is unpredictability and confusion on how to function as a family member. Animals may fill the void with patterns from their genetic backgrounds or with other undesirable actions that they have picked up from other animals (including humans). This may end up making them and the people around them very unhappy.

I’ve talked with a number of dogs who have become aggressive toward people, ferociously rushing and barking at them, or even biting, and feeling like they are just doing their jobs of guarding and protecting the family. The people started out wanting a dog to protect the family and property. They encouraged territorial behavior by outward approval or lack of correction, or they yelled at the dogs while inwardly being proud, which of course the dogs picked up.

They failed to clearly set the limits for the dogs on what constituted acceptable protective behavior. The dogs, generally intelligent and strong-willed individuals, increased their level of protection to aggressive behavior beyond the control of the person. Then, after continued lack of control or messages of secret approval, when these dogs were finally reprimanded for terrorizing or hurting people, they couldn’t figure out what was wrong. They were just doing what they thought the person wanted.

The person who has animal companions has to take responsibility for setting reasonable rules. Some people find it acceptable to have animals only in certain parts of the house or for certain times of the day. Some allow animals on the furniture while others don’t.

The rules should be realistic for the animals. If the rules are quite unnatural, animals may not grasp why you would want them to behave that way—such as expecting dogs never to bark or not providing a place for cats to scratch their claws.

The liberties allowed and the rules to be followed need to be communicated to everyone concerned, both human and nonhuman, and consistently adhered to so that there is no confusion. Show your animal companions what you want. Remind them until they really get it. Be calm and communicative rather than impatient or violent. You are asking them to learn many things that are, in varying degrees, alien to their physical heritage. If you apply all the steps of communication described in this book, your animal companions will generally get what you mean and be willing to cooperate.

Once the rules have been fully understood and established, you need to be in control of the situation and of yourself when you correct a breaking of the rules. Flying off the handle in a tirade or being lax about structure generally won’t lead to harmony.

Let’s say the cats urinate on the carpet. A straightforward approach is to take them to the spot, firmly say “no,” and put them in the litter box or wherever you want them to go, praising them and making it pleasant for them to do the right thing. Ensure that the litter is clean and in a location the cats find comfortable, or you are causing the broken rule. Most cats do not like to use a smelly litter box, or to relieve themselves in uncomfortable or threatening situations. If the corrective action has to be repeated often—and you have thoroughly cleaned the area so that the stimulation of the smell is not allowed to tempt the cats to urinate on the carpet again—you need to sit down with your cats for a two-way conversation to find the cause and address it.

For example, the cats may be upset about some change in the household, and urinating is their way of registering disagreement. Listen to them, and resolve it as well as you can with communication and understanding. Then you can reinforce the rules and easily show your cat friends what you want them to do, as there will be no mental barrier in the way. Clear up the problem yourself or with the help of an animal communication specialist. You can then be strict and take the right amount of action necessary to get the message across and gain compliance.

You need to use common sense to create an orderly and harmonious environment; there is no one procedure that always works. “Punishment” varies according to the sensitivity of the individual, the degree of discipline necessary to make the point, and the severity of the infraction.

For most animals with whom you are really attuned, a look of disapproval is enough. A quiet but firm verbal reprimand, showing your animal friends what you are unhappy about and then repeating the positive thing that you expect of them, may be the right action. If you catch animals in the act, a tap on the rear and a firm “no” to quickly stop them is appropriate.

Sometimes a denial of your presence, such as putting the animal outside or in another room, is the right action to enlist cooperation. Use only the amount of emphasis needed to show that their action is not okay and that you mean what you say. Only in extreme situations, where life is threatened, is violent action necessary.

Using strange, irrational methods to show animals they are wrong brings about misunderstanding, fear, or other negative feelings. An example of what I consider a weird method is what one animal psychologist recommended to a person I later consulted. To correct the cat for defecating on the couch, he told her to lock the cat in a drawer with his feces for a few hours. Instead of handling the problem, the cat became more confused and alienated, and the person became more frustrated. Not only did we have to work to clear the original upset that caused the cat to relieve itself in the wrong place, but we also had to handle the added problem of cruel treatment.

In some books on animal training, people are told to shove their cat’s or dog’s nose in their excrement when they relieve themselves in the wrong place, or to jam it in their mouths (really!). I consider these actions stupid and ineffective, based on the irrational thinking of animals as automatons.

If a continued breaking of the rules occurs after using sensible methods of control and correction, there is something else aggravating the behavior. Perhaps the animals misunderstand something or are protesting, or some upset or fear or physical condition is causing them to lose control. If the underlying cause of misbehavior is not addressed, forcing animals to behave may be only a temporary solution that could lead to other neurotic behavior. It certainly isn’t conducive to overall harmony. The source of the problem needs to be found and cleared up.

Sometimes a person’s continued resistance or fear of the undesired behavior creates strong mental pictures that cause animals to act the fear out physically. For example, my male dog, Pasha, used to stand off and prepare to fight other male dogs. If I remained calm, keeping a neutral attitude about his meeting other dogs on a trail and not putting a lot of attention on it, he generally would just sniff them and be on his way. If I grew fearful that he might get in trouble and I projected that, he often started to run the macho trip, staring them down with hackles up.

What you think and feel definitely influences the responses of the animals and people who are close to you. Think about it.

If you do your best, even enlisting sound professional help, and the misbehaving continues, it may be that it’s become a habit that the animal finds comforting in some way. The remedy may require watchfulness and consistent handling, or diversionary measures.

Know your animal friend. Use your common sense. Don’t react with violent, strange, or extreme methods. You may need to tell your animal companions firmly that you’ve done all you can to clear things up, and now it’s up to them to cooperate. If they don’t you will…

Pick a disciplinary measure that is straightforward and that will get the message across with this individual. For example, it is often effective to put the animals outside or in a room away from the family until they realize their error and are ready to do their part. Communicate. Let your animal friends know what you’re doing and why, and what you expect of them. Give them a chance to realize that breaking the rules doesn’t work.

In most instances, doing this once or repeatedly for a moderate stretch of time will get through to the most hardened non-cooperator. Don’t overdo it by threatening animals with total banishment to start. Mean what you say. They’ll get it, unless there has been so much previous conflict that they really don’t want to be with you and would be happier somewhere else. It requires judgment. Give your animal friends and yourself the best deal.

For dogs, doing obedience training with you is often a great way to make living with each other a fun, team effort. Brutal methods of dragging or jerking dogs around to get them to obey are not necessary. Enforced isolation, trickery, or any treatment that assumes dogs are unfeeling, unthinking things are not acceptable.

Make it a game, and apply the basic principles of communication outlined previously. Most dogs love obedience training, as long as it is done with a loving attitude. It brings them closer to you, helps them understand the rules of living with people, makes them feel more worthwhile, and fulfills their need to serve in a positive way.

These training principles can be applied to other animals besides dogs. Success depends on your patience and skill, your closeness to animals, and how willing and physically able they are to participate. Humans and their fellow animals have done amazing things in cooperation with each other.

YOUR ANIMAL COMPANION’S VIEWPOINT

It’s important to understand an animal’s intention behind the behavior that you may consider strange or wrong. Don’t punish animals for actions they consider favorable to you. Acknowledging and being responsive to your animal friend’s purpose can work wonders. Let me give a few examples.

Tip, a mixed-breed dog, had acquired the habit of depositing his stools on a small rug in the living room. He had also started scattering or eating droppings from the cat litter box. His person had tried various methods to correct him, from yelling to pushing his face in it, but to no avail.

Tip’s person told me it all started soon after she changed to having the cats indoors and got a litter pan for them. I asked Tip to explain to me what was going on from his point of view. He had observed his person “playing” in the cat litter, scooping out the waste, and he thought this was a great game. He liked the smell of the cats’ leavings, and he thought that doing what his person did would please her.

He reasoned that, since she made such a fuss over the litter box, he’d make a present of his own where she’d be sure to see and know it was his gift and not theirs. He thought she’d enjoy scooping his waste as much as the cats.

It just didn’t compute when she yelled at him for it, she never yelled at the cats. Oh well, he’d ignore it and continue giving her presents, as he was sure she’d be pleased soon.

This may sound stranger than fiction, and I’m often amazed at what animals communicate to me. However, it’s common that when the intention behind an action is not understood, animals assume, or at least hope, that by repetition you’ll catch on.

I handled this by fully understanding and acknowledging Tip. I explained his reasoning to his person, who laughed and was totally amazed and relieved to understand the situation. I had her thank Tip very thoroughly and sincerely for his intention. He then felt that his message was well received. I then explained to him what his person was doing with the cats’ litter. He was not to relieve himself in the house, as this did not really please his person, and she’d be pleased if he went outside as before.

To reinforce the acceptable action, I asked the person to praise her dog exuberantly when he went outside for the next few days. After a few reminders, he didn’t leave a “present” on the rug again.

Here’s a sad case where understanding and acknowledging might have saved an animal’s life. I was conversing about animals with a woman I had just met in a restaurant. She told me about a young cat that a friend had given her. She and her husband had become quite fond of the cat until he started killing birds and bringing them home to eat. The woman thought this was horrible. No matter what she did to discourage the cat, he seemed to do it more, until he was bringing up to three birds home per day and not eating the cat food she gave him. It got to be too much for her. She felt such sympathy for the birds that she had her cat taken to be put to sleep.

While I understood the woman’s feelings, this was a case of misunderstanding the cat’s intention and not looking from his point of view. I have found that domesticated animals, who love you, try to please you in the ways that are very natural to them. It’s very natural for cats to hunt; it’s the finest expression of their genetic heritage. Cats may bring home their prey for you to show their pride and share it with you. They won’t understand why you would be dismayed or punish them for it. It’s like welcoming children to create mud pies in your garden and then yelling at them for wanting to show you their creations. They won’t understand if you’re not pleased.

The thing to do with all communications is to understand the intention behind the action. In this case, the cat was probably proud of his hunting ability and just wanted to show his person, thinking she’d be pleased.

When my cat Peaches and I first moved to the country, she used to present mice or birds at the foot of my bed in the morning. Although this was a shock to my bare feet, I did not scream and go “yuck.” Instead, I thanked her wholeheartedly for the gift, really validating her ability as a huntress. When I was sure she felt acknowledged, I asked her to take the body out of the house, or I’d take it out, explaining that I’d prefer if she kept her prey outside. She understood, and after a few times ceased to bring back dead or half-dead animals. If I had objected to her hunting in itself, I could have talked to her about that, or put a bell on her collar to warn the birds or mice of her coming.

The woman in the restaurant mentioned that the cat seemed to get compulsive about killing birds, doing it more and more. Have you ever noticed that when you don’t understand and acknowledge someone, they keep trying to get the message across to prove it to you? Beings of all kinds generally mean well when they want their communications received and understood. Their messages can get desperate or weird when they have been ignored or rejected too often.

Your fears and mental pictures also help suggest to animals what is wanted, and so help to create the situation. This woman had awful fears of dead or mauled birds each time she heard her cat outside the door. Perhaps she could have saved herself and her cat the pain and suffering by knowing and using this information.

I reviewed our conversation in the restaurant later and realized that this woman was eating chicken when I talked to her. She probably had never thought of the fact that she had indirectly killed a bird for her dinner. At least the cat was taking responsibility for killing his birds directly.

How many people would eat meat if they had to kill the cow or chicken or pig themselves? I doubt that this woman would. Yet, she had her cat killed (by someone else, of course) because he ate birds—something to think about.

While the present natural order of bodies consuming other animal or plant bodies for food may be revised sometime in the future, the reality now is that it is considered necessary or desirable for survival. Applying the principles of communication and understanding to this area would require that before you take plant or animal bodies for food, you get in communication with the beings animating the bodies and make an agreement regarding their providing food for you.

This has been the way of Native Americans and other tribal people. Native Americans approached the buffalo, or any life form they depended on, with respect and gratitude. They communicated with the spirits connected with those life forms and demonstrated how they would use the bodies to good purpose for their people’s survival. The animal beings in most cases were probably willing to give their bodies in this arrangement. Their bodies weren’t stolen or abused, and they, as spirits, could go peacefully on to their next lives as buffalo or other life forms.

Most of today’s methods of animal farming and slaughter vary greatly from this ideal. There is often much deprivation of natural needs, lack of respect, cruelty, and no communication. Individuals have to judge for themselves the ethics of how they obtain food for their bodies and the responsibility they have in the matter. It’s something to seriously consider.

When seeking to understand animal behavior, take a leap and try to see, hear, and generally perceive how the animal does. I literally look through their eyes and hear through their ears to get their side of the story. In lieu of this ability, get information on the animal through personal observation and research. Finding out the physical characteristics and genetic background of your particular kind of dog, cat, horse, or other animal can be very helpful. Don’t rely on this alone, however, as animals combine their physical, mental, and spiritual qualities to come up with their own personalities and styles of approaching life.

To understand individuals fully, no method is better than stepping into their shoes—oops, paws! For example, one woman wanted to know why her terrier jumped around a lot in the car. He never seemed to sit still to look out the window as her larger dog did. She interpreted this as nervousness.

I looked through the little dog’s eyes and saw how he saw. He could only encompass a section of the surrounding scene at a time, rather than having wide-angle vision. In order to catch as much as possible of the scenes going by while he rode in the car, he needed to jump around and move his head from place to place. At least that’s how he handled it, and this may apply to other dogs who flit from position to position. Instead of assuming, I always check with individuals to see what’s going on from their angles. I’m continually surprised at the variations.

Another example of understanding from the animal’s point of view was with my dog Pasha when we visited New York City for the first time. He had been raised in Los Angeles, where he didn’t have to walk along busy streets but spent most of his time in a large, tree-filled yard, or on park or mountain trails. The noise in New York is deafening in comparison, as the crowded buildings echo the wall-to-wall traffic, which honks, screeches, and screams incessantly.

As we walked along, Pasha would suddenly whip around and snap or bite at his back. This was accentuated to near convulsive level when many cars beeped and sirens screamed. I stopped, held him, and, hearing through his ears, found that the noise was percussively deafening, with a background drone as if a swarm of bees were attacking. The nerves through his spinal column were painfully registering the intense impulses. It was enough to drive anyone crazy.

I handled this sensory overload by pointing out where the individual noises were coming from as they occurred. As he started to locate the sources of the sounds, the cacophony began to sort out, and he could handle it better. Each time he jumped, I’d point out that the screech of brakes came from that truck, or the loud honk came from that van, and he would calm down. I also told him to tune down his hearing, as it was much too sensitive for the environment. He worked at that, and in a few days, he was no longer bothered by the street sounds and could calmly parade down the New York streets.

As a general handling of animals who are startled by something, it’s good to point out or explain the cause so they can see exactly what is generating the disturbance. This eliminates the fear that the source is something horrible that can’t be confronted, and lessens or prevents future negative reactions to the particular noise or sight.

Being able to assume an animal’s viewpoint can also help you choose an animal companion that aligns with your needs and environment. It’s a great way to handle any situation without resorting to some formula that isn’t always applicable. It gives you the best source of information about your unique animal, and I highly recommend cultivating it.

UPSETS BETWEEN ANIMALS

A common problem that people call me to handle is an upset or hostility between animals in a family. Individualized handling is best for each circumstance, but let me give a few examples and some basic guidelines.

Oro, a male Afghan pup, had developed the habit of being extremely possessive about his food. He would also force his sister, Zoya, away from her own food dish. They would sometimes fight over any scraps of food in the area. Except for this food issue, both dogs played together and generally got along famously.

At first, their people took the attitude that it was the dogs’ own business and that they should sort it out themselves. This is comparable to letting two children slug things out and hurt each other without intervention. When the dog fights became more frequent and sometimes very violent, the people tried yelling at the dogs loudly, forcefully separating them while telling them this was not okay. This worked to stop the behavior but did not prevent it from recurring. In fact, the habit seemed to grow more and more ingrained, and either pup now instigated and aggravated this unpleasant game.

I happened to be visiting once when both started a fight over some almost invisible piece of food. I grabbed both by the collar, separated them and said sternly, “That’s it!” Both were totally immersed in the fight, and continued to growl and try to get at each other. I held and shook them firmly and repeated loudly, “That’s it!” Finally I got their attention. I lectured them calmly but firmly that their fighting was unacceptable and that they were to apologize to each other before they would be let go.

Zoya quickly admitted that she had deliberately aggravated Oro to start the fight, and she apologized. Oro took longer to acknowledge his part in the matter but reluctantly apologized as well.

A thorough handling would include taking each animal individually, clearing up the original reason for the aberrant behavior, and ensuring they both took strict control over themselves so it never happened again. One should also encourage the accepted behavior by demonstration and praise.

With just this on-site handling, the problem diminished to almost nothing and was easily handled by the people when it did occur thereafter.

Whenever there is any disagreement among my animal friends, I always ensure that all parties take responsibility for their share in the action. They may need to be separated to cool down and think about it before I get a good conclusion, with apologies and promises of good behavior. It must be taken to a full “happy ending” to prevent the behavior from manifesting again.

Get to the root of the upset on both sides, and handle it. A consensual solution and firm policy must be established so that the situation doesn’t repeat itself. This may include changing an environmental situation that contributed to the problem, such as the lack of individual food dishes or enough space, causing the animals to get in each other’s hair—oops, fur! Listen to your animal friends’ needs, and use your common sense.

Reiterate the animals’ purposes as members of the family. Praise the desired behavior, and acknowledge animals for doing well. Ease up on your vigilance as the animals do what is required; restore privileges if they have been curtailed as part of the handling.

There are times when you can let animals work things out themselves, and to some extent they must anyway. With just the right amount of good guidance, the process can go more smoothly and quickly. An example is when you get a new animal in the family. There may be a period where the new cat, dog, or bird is hissed or growled at, or held aloof, until they communicate enough to establish their positions in relation to each other. Let them get to know each other in their own time. Intervene if the going gets too rough, and coach everyone through to understand their place or functions in the family.

Let the older animals know that they aren’t being replaced and that you still love them. Consider the new arrival as the friend or playmate of the established animal family members instead of as your new animal companion. Emphasize this in your conversations with them. Tell the senior members you’d like them to look after and help the new animal become a good member of the family. Ask them to show the new animal the ropes. Tell them you’re relying on them because they are so trustworthy and intelligent. Admiration, sincerely given, helps to soothe hurt feelings or rough edges.

Show the new member, especially a young, eager animal, how to respect the rights of senior members and to observe their needs. Curb too much exuberance in approaching senior animals if this is unwanted by them. All family members must be secure in their places, and encouraged to look after and contribute their specialness to each other. Once again, understanding, respect, and common sense apply.

Even dogs who normally chase cats, as well as cats who normally chase birds, can be taught to respect the other’s right to live. Get them to look at each other as beings rather than prey, so they can learn to control the genetic urges to hunt the other. With some dogs this is easy. They will cuddle and fall asleep with the cat after a short introduction. Or the cat will be interested in but never attempt to pounce on the parakeet after a little coaching. Others will be tougher to handle. They may not want to control their genetic impulses, which may be stronger in them than in their gentler counterparts. They will not listen to you but prefer to enjoy the sensations of hunting and/or killing other animals.

Several difficult cases I have handled were dogs of mine. I adopted a female Afghan from the pound. Popiya ferociously went after the neighborhood cats when I first had her home. Each time she saw a cat, the picture of a leopard flashed in front of her face, and her eyes changed to the intense look of a huntress. The leopard picture was from her Afghan hound genetic heritage, since Afghans have been raised to hunt leopards in other parts of the world.

I handled it by catching her when the leopard image first flashed in front of her face. I would hold her and get her to see the ordinary cat in front of her, facing the cat as a spiritual being and not just as a cat body or prey. I’d say, “Look at that being,” acknowledging her when she did it, until she calmed down and didn’t have to obey automatic responses. I’d then remind her firmly that she was not to chase cats or even think of killing them, as this was not acceptable to me or to the neighbors.

I later got my own cat companion, and in about a week, I could safely leave Popiya in the house alone with her without any problem. She never grew to love cats but mainly ignored them. My cat respected her space but was not afraid of her. She never chased cats again, which is quite an accomplishment, considering her Afghan hound background.

An even tougher case was Miel, a female Afghan I raised from a pup. Pasha, my male, had always chased cats, but he loved them and had no intention to harm them; he just loved the chase. When he was a pup, he listened to me when I asked him never to kill other animals. Once I saw Pasha catch a squirrel, but he then let it go and bounced back, urging the stunned squirrel to run so Pasha could resume the chase.

Miel, however, had a strong huntress instinct in her that she was unwilling to release. She killed rats, mice, opossums, and birds, despite my instructing her as I did with Pasha. She was unwilling to listen to me on the subject, and I was never able to catch her in the act to stop her.

One day I caught her as she killed a cat. This upset me greatly. I shook her and whapped her rear to let her know that this was not okay and that I meant business. Then I left her alone for a few hours to let her think it over. After that we had a long talk about it, and she realized the wrongness of her action.

With her on the leash, we practiced looking at the cats in the neighborhood as beings and not just bodies, so that she could learn to control her instincts. She had a hard time releasing the pleasure of hunting and killing. Bringing cats into our own home enabled us to work on this daily at close range. After several months she was able to be around them without getting excited or having any intention to hurt them. She would stay calm, and even smell and lick them.

Later, when she thought no one was around, she tended to get fierce with the cats again, so I never could fully trust her alone with them, no matter what we did. To achieve the ideal of harmonious relationships among all animals is not always easy or even possible. It depends on your patience, good judgment, the strength of the animals’ instincts, and, most of all, their willingness.

If I could have had cat companions when Miel was a puppy, perhaps it would have been easier to nip the aggression in the bud. My other Afghan, Rana, grew up among cats and easily learned how to play with them gently, though she chased after wild animals with huntress intentions. Each animal and situation is unique, and handling will be a bit different for each.

I’ve followed a similar procedure for reminding our cats to look at our finches, canaries, parakeets, and cockatiel as beings and to respect their rights. Cats are very much hunters, but many can be taught to master their instincts with members of the family, learning to channel their hunting urges in other ways.

I am against beating, electric rods, or other bizarre methods to shock animals into submission, as some animal trainers recommend. I have seen cases where this was considered the last resort before the uncontrollable animal would have to be killed. It’s difficult to decide what is best in these situations. Most animals do not start out with destructive intentions toward others but become that way through abuse and deprivation.

Brutal training methods generally instill a neurotic fear or apathy in the animal, then the animals are never consciously and reliably in control. Respecting and appealing to a being’s choice, intelligence, and spiritual nature is an alien concept with this crude approach. Good, firm control of wild or reactive animals is necessary; brutality is not.

In handling animals, you need to balance your awareness of them as infinitely capable spiritual beings (as we all are) with how they manifest as individuals in their physical form. It’s tricky sometimes to understand how your incredible animal friend can sometimes do silly things as a dog, but then the same applies to humans. Deal with animals as fellow beings, with an understanding of their composite physical/spiritual nature. Let’s foster an attitude of mutual cooperation and respect for all.

WILD ANIMALS

A woman wrote to me, “I need help in understanding the behavior of my cat. He was born in a meadow near Solvang (California). His mother was wild—belonged to no one. He is seven years old now and has always attacked us at our ankles and hands…. When he is on one of our laps and we are rubbing him, and he seems so content, he’ll suddenly snap at the hand that pets (and feeds) him! We have had this kitty since he was six weeks old.”

Situations like this occur when people attempt to domesticate a wild animal or handle an animal that is very afraid around humans. To understand what is happening, one of the first things to look at is the genetic makeup of the animal.

Wild animals are geared for instant reactions to any stimulus that signals a threat to their survival. Their senses are highly tuned to noise, moving objects, and smells, and they are instantly ready to flee, hide, or attack. They cannot stop to deliberate whether the stimulus is coming from a friendly source because hesitation may mean death in the wild.

Even slow, apparently friendly or harmless movements from other animals, including humans, may have turned into death-dealing blows in their past. The survivors have learned to react first, get into a safe position, and then, if there is opportunity, to study the assailant’s motives or interests. Their behavior may not seem rational to us when they are transferred to a tamer environment, unless we understand that the animal is still geared for survival in an environment filled with potential dangers.

Living with humans, animals gradually become accustomed to human motions and surroundings when the environment is made calm and secure for them. They learn that it is not necessary to flee or fight every movement. However, their genetically inherited tendencies may make them skittish at unfamiliar movements. Their sensory mechanisms may still be in “high gear,” making a small movement of the hand appear like a threat aimed directly at their bodies.

Because of body sensitivity, certain pitches of sound may deal agonizingly sharp signals through their heads or spines that make them jump, twitch, or bite. A change in a person’s body chemistry or emotional energy may put them on alert.

In the case of the wild kitten, even though he was brought into the person’s home at six weeks old, he was already too influenced by his background to relax all the time around humans. His mother may have carefully taught him the way to survive in the world, and he may have gone through some painful experiences if he disobeyed the necessity for alertness. A motion, sound, or smell unnoticeable to people may alert his body to danger, even though that danger is not there in his domesticated circumstances.

Even after seven years of human handling, this cat still harks back to his early training and genetic makeup when something strikes these survival mechanisms. He may be sitting in his person’s lap, totally enjoying the warmth and affection, and suddenly he reacts unconsciously to something in the area that reminds him of some danger in the past. The person’s touch is then overstimulating to him or may even trigger feelings of being trapped. He reacts depending upon how secure he is in the present environment.

To fully handle the situation, some animals may need individual counseling of their fears and the sources of their erratic behavior, or months of environmental conditioning by a sensitive, patient person. While each condition and animal’s response is individual, there are some actions you can take with a wild or fearful animal to enable you to coexist more happily.

The first requirement is to make a safe, quiet space. Eliminate extraneous noises or distractions, and make your movements slow and deliberate. Speak calmly and slowly, and explain what you are going to do next, visualizing it clearly. Sudden moves or changes startle. Be quietly present where the animal can watch you. Don’t threaten by trying to get close when they are afraid or hostile. Let them have the chance to feel safe enough to accept your presence and make a friendly approach toward you. Let them get to know you—your body, your way of moving (slowly), your voice, your smell—and to sense that you have no intention to harm or trap. Withdraw from their area when they seem to have progressed a little in being comfortable with you around. Don’t overdo the initial encounters.

In the case of the cat mentioned earlier, the people had already established a rapport with him, but he may have been reacting to something they were doing. Being rubbed mechanically or too long can act as a physical energy drain or irritation. You may have experienced this when someone has caressed your body absentmindedly. It can be even more annoying to a very sensitive animal. Always handle animals consciously, with the intention to increase harmony. They will respond to your intention and begin to trust you, if your actions don’t threaten them.

Once you have animals trusting you in their surroundings, you can slowly reach for them by moving your body closer. If they react badly, withdraw slowly and let them have their own space again. Don’t react with sudden motions, scolding, or punishment. You’ll defeat the purpose of making them feel safe around you, and you may unconsciously remind them of past threats.

After the period of getting to know you at a distance, your animal friends may start to tentatively reach for you or climb into your lap. Let them explore and get used to you, but don’t force them to stay. When they feel safe enough to let you touch them, put your hand on their body slowly but firmly. Don’t poke fingers at them or touch with feathery strokes (unless you are working with a very small body, such as an insect). This can stimulate their sensory apparatus and make them feel jumpy, or they may attack you. Establish physical communication with them by gradually lifting your hand and placing it gently but firmly on part of their body. Start with the more acceptable areas like the upper back, until they are more comfortable with your hand, and gradually move to other parts. Mentally or verbally communicate soothing, empathetic thoughts. End your time with the animals when they are calmer or happier, not running away or attacking you. If they do react negatively, withdraw calmly, return to quiet behavior until they are calmer, and then leave them alone.

You don’t want to force animals to do anything that is too frightening for them. Once you have established enough trust to handle them physically, if they get jumpy during your contact, you may hold them until they calm down before you let them go. Don’t overdo your handling, and don’t underdo it.

Good handling requires discretion; sensitivity; experience; a loving, patient attitude; and a willingness to closely observe and understand animals’ responses. A lot depends on your attitude, which animals perceive. If you intend to help them and not force them to do things, they will feel safer with you and make more progress. If you do not have their best interests at heart, they will be aware of this and respond negatively. Do not try to “conquer” wild animals, but work for increased understanding and learning on both sides.

Regard it as a privilege to get in close contact and establish a good relationship with wild animals. The rewards of mutual trust between human and nonhuman animals are among the finer things in life.

Some people may worry that the approaches outlined here may result in injury to human handlers. Obviously, you don’t want animals to harm you or others during your attempts to familiarize them with you and your surroundings. If animals are likely to attack while you are working with them, keep a fence or wire enclosure between you, in a way that still allows a comfortable space and connection for both of you. A lot of communication can occur without bodily contact.

Later, when animals feel comfortable most of the time with human company, any lapses into wild behavior can be taken up and handled as you might with other members of the family. Just reprimanding some animals by pointing out their unacceptable actions is enough to enlist their cooperation. You may communicate with the animals and find out what upset them, or observe what upset them and handle that with understanding of their viewpoint. You may see that they do not really perceive you when they exhibit the wild-eyed or glazed look that goes along with a dangerous environment. In that case, you can have them look at the objects in the environment by pointing them out one at a time. This gets them to see their present surroundings and calms them down so they can relate to you in the present again.

At times, some animals, just as some humans, need a certain amount of force to contain their bodies when they are being wild. This puts you in control of the situation, so that they can calm down enough to control their bodies. It takes good observation and judgment to see what kind of action will work best with animals at each moment. Violence is generally not rehabilitative for animals. It can cause distrust and the desire to get back at you, though it may be necessary for handling a situation that is too dangerously out of control to evoke the animal’s attention and proper action by milder means.

I had a terrific experience with handling one wild animal. I was living in a cabin behind a house in a large, woodsy yard, and I would leave the cabin door ajar for my dogs to go in and out when I was not home. Once, when I returned from an errand, my dogs greeted me at the house, but as we neared the cabin, they raced in, leaping and barking at the space beneath a small cabinet. I pulled them out to see what was there and found a baby opossum, looking very stiff and dead.

After urging the dogs outside, I crouched down near the opossum and told him I knew he was alive, so he didn’t have to pretend anymore. He flashed his eyes at me distrustfully. I softly explained to him that he couldn’t stay in the cabin, and that we had to get him safely outside without the dogs attacking him.

I got a paper bag and told him that I wanted him to get inside, visualizing him inside the bag, with me carrying him to safety over the fence to a neighbor’s yard. I detailed exactly what I wanted him to do, especially that he was not to bite me. I assured him that I would not hurt him or let the dogs get him. He stayed where he was, eyeing me with intense suspicion, so I withdrew the bag and again explained the situation to him. I told him he really had no choice but to trust me. The dogs, barking and scratching outside, would get him if I didn’t help him out, so he’d better get into the bag.

He looked at me warily, but this time he crawled into the bag when I put it down. I tipped the bag up and folded over the top, explaining what I was doing each step of the way and that he’d be okay. As I opened the door, my excited dogs leaped into the cabin, following his smell and former presence. I held the bag high, closed the door, and proceeded to the fence. I told the opossum that I would open the bag, and that he—without biting me—would jump out into the neighbor’s yard and not return here. He sped out and disappeared into the ivy.

This was my first experience with an opossum. My success was due to making the area as safe as possible for him, assuring him slowly and calmly that I could be trusted, and telling him clearly what I wanted him to do. I did not put him in the position where he had to bite me, and I enlisted his cooperation by quiet communication, clearly visualizing the situation for him and ensuring the dogs would not harm him. In that short encounter, we reached an understanding, and both of us had a good experience.

Another part of making the wild or reactive animal’s environment safe, predictable, and calming is conscious handling of nutritional needs. A diet as close to natural as possible is best; I’ll cover this in the next chapter. Some common herbs that have natural calming properties and can be put into your animal’s food or water (fresh, powdered, or brewed as tea) are chamomile, hops, red clover, peppermint, rosemary, sage, valerian, lobelia, marshmallow root, skullcap, or wild cherry. Also important are sufficient exercise, fresh air, and sunlight, without which any animal (including humans) can become nervous, irritable, or ill.

Don’t be alarmed or dismayed if your wild animal friend does not respond immediately to your offers of trust and understanding. Some animals, like some people, do not want to change and will resist your attempts to communicate with them. Allow them to be the way they are. You cannot enforce their response to your help. Sometimes, just by withdrawing, the animal will get interested and desire more connection. For the animal who wants to change, you should see a good response in a short time with the methods offered here.

SUMMARY OF PRINCIPLES

It’s impossible to prescribe a specific handling for every possible behavior problem or attempt to explain the wide range of animal behavior, to which many volumes are devoted. However, here is a summary of principles that can be creatively applied to any situation: