August Third

 

ON AUGUST THIRD, Grandma Sissy died.

She said that she preferred to think of it as “loosening her soul,” and Odette tried to think about it that way too. She had said she would stay as long as she could, “until the pain was greater than the pleasure of living.” Lately, she slept so much that sometimes it felt like she was already dead.

Odette still wasn’t sure if she agreed with what Grandma Sissy had decided to do. Odette knew she was in pain. She saw her taking pain pills all the time, and she could barely remember seeing Grandma Sissy eating in days and days. But still. To take medicine on purpose like that. It scared Odette. It really, really did.

“Her decision” were words she heard a lot, from Mom, and Dad, and Bea and Gary, too. “So much pain.” She heard that, too. “Support her. Love her.”

Grandma Sissy didn’t want anyone but Mom in the room when she drank the medicine, but after she drank it, Mom opened the door to let them come inside.

A small clear glass sat on the table next to Grandma Sissy’s bed. There was a milky residue at the bottom.

“Darlings,” Grandma Sissy said. Her voice was wobbly but she smiled at them. “Darling darlings.”

Georgie jumped up onto the bed right beside her and curled into a little ball. Rex kissed her, and so did Dad, and Mom. It was Odette’s turn then. She didn’t know until the last moment if she’d have the nerve, but then she did, and after she kissed Grandma Sissy, she held out the spoon she’d prepared. Eyes half-closed already, Grandma Sissy opened her mouth. Odette placed the butter-sugar-vanilla mixture on her tongue. Grandma Sissy held it in her mouth for a moment before swallowing. Her eyes closed all the way, and she smiled. In a moment Grandma Sissy was asleep, and minutes later she wasn’t breathing anymore.

Then Mom started crying really loudly, and Georgie whined. Dad picked up the dog and said, “She was a good woman. We were all lucky.”

Even Rex was crying. Through his tears he said, “She doesn’t look dead. Are you sure she’s dead?”

Odette didn’t agree. Grandma Sissy did look dead. Her soul had been loosened. She had loosened her very own soul.

Odette took Georgie from Dad and left the room. She sat down in Grandma Sissy’s chair. As she sat, she smelled Grandma Sissy—her soap, her perfume. She closed her eyes and breathed.