The next day, Lokni walked in silence with Brandon. Once again, he chose to walk, leading the horse by the reins and using a leisurely pace that wouldn’t put any stress on her. From time to time, he would glance behind them as if Orson and his friends were closing in on them. But for the moment, she knew they were safe.
They had taken breaks every hour, and when the sun was high in the sky, Brandon made them lunch. The jerky was tough. She’d made better in the past, but it was edible and quick. Both were careful with their use of their drinking water, though she noted that Brandon encouraged her to drink more than he did. “For the baby,” he added when she said she didn’t need more. Since he had expressed concern over her child, she decided to take another swallow from the canteen.
Soon, they were heading down the empty prairie again. There was no trail made out for them, so he was using his compass and the map to make sure they weren’t veering off course.
She didn’t mind the silence. It was nice to be able to take her time and think over how she would make a life for her and her child when they came to the next town. She didn’t tell him her plans. In her experience, men couldn’t be trusted. Who knew if he wouldn’t hurt her because she didn’t want to be his slave?
For once, she was going to make decisions for herself, and it was necessary she make the right ones for her child. The movement in her womb directed her attention to her stomach. She brought her hand to the area where the baby had kicked and rubbed it, thinking her child might find it soothing.
“Are you alright?” Brandon asked.
She jumped. She hadn’t realized he was watching her. “I’m fine,” she told him. “The baby’s moving, that’s all.”
His steps slowed, and she found hers slowing with him. “Maybe we should take a break.”
“There’s no need. I feel fine.”
His gaze went ahead of them, which seemed like an endless sea of grass, and then went back to her. “I know I told you that I want to get to the river before your child is born, but you don’t have to make yourself uncomfortable in order to get there.”
“I’m not. I can keep walking.”
Fortunately, he resumed his pacing. She had worried he would make her stop again, and she didn’t think she had the patience to sit around and wait until he felt like she could go again. Why didn’t men ever believe something a woman said? If she was a man, she bet he would listen to her. But since she was a woman, he assumed she didn’t know anything.
Maybe if he knew she had given birth before, he would believe her when she said she felt fine. She didn’t know him well enough to tell him about her past, though. Not that it mattered. Her first baby hadn’t survived the birth. This one might not, either. If life had taught her anything, it was that nothing was guaranteed.
Trying not to think about losing her daughter, she focused on the land in front of her. She had learned to take things one day at a time, and right now, she would go one step at a time. She would eventually reach her destination. Hopefully, she would do so with her child.
By the time they had stopped for the night, she thought they had made good progress. For the most part, they spent their time eating in silence. When he pulled out his map, however, her curiosity got the best of her and she went over to him.
“Mind if I look at the map?” she asked.
“Can you read a map?”
“I can read enough of the white man’s map to get to where I need to.” Noting the way his eyebrows furrowed, she added, “My people traded with your kind. My tribe didn’t stay in one place. We had to know where your people would be so we could trade with them.”
He patted the spot next to him, so she knelt down. “If you didn’t know how to read a map, I was going to teach you.” He set the map between them. “We’re here.” He pointed to the spot. “This is where the river is.”
“Where is the nearest town?”
“That will be here.”
He brought his finger down to a small dot with lettering on it. Though she might be able to read a map, she couldn’t read their language. She thought of asking him what the town was called, but then she decided against it. He didn’t know she couldn’t read. In fact, he really didn’t need to know that much about her. Once she got to town, they would never see each other again.
“How long will it take to get there?” she asked.
“At the rate we’re going and the fact that you’ll give birth before then?” He paused and studied the map. “A month at the soonest, but it’ll probably be more like a month and a half. We can’t have you moving for a few days after the baby is born.”
A month to a month and a half? That wasn’t what she’d been hoping to hear. She was hoping it would take a couple of weeks.
“I can walk faster,” she told him. “I don’t have to go as slow as you’re making me walk.”
“I’m doing what is best for the baby. You’re in a delicate condition. We can’t put any more strain on you than we already are.”
She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that women in her tribe had given birth and were expected to take care of cooking and walking the very next day. Granted, they had taken things slower than they usually did, but they weren’t so helpless that they had to stay still for a few days. But would he believe her? Would he take her word for it? She was just a woman, after all. If he had been a part of her tribe, he would have understood it because he would have seen all of this for himself.
After a moment, she decided to let him think whatever he wanted. It probably wouldn’t make much of a difference anyway. A month to a month and a half was still an abnormally long time to be stuck with someone she hadn’t asked to be married to, but then, he was in the same position she was. She should just be glad he hadn’t raped her. At least he was being nice.
With a sigh of resignation, she offered him a nod and got up so she could help him make their dinner.
***
Later that night, Brandon shivered. At first, he thought it was from the chill in the air. Even in the summer, the nights along the prairie could be cool, and the small campfire did little to take the chill off. But soon, he realized what the problem was. He needed a drink.
He sat up in his bedroll and glanced over at Lokni who was sound asleep. Good. As long as she wasn’t awake, he could do what he wished without her seeing him. The last thing he needed was her disapproving scowl. Women didn’t understand why men needed to have a drink from time to time.
He hadn’t had anything last night, and he could feel the restless feeling crawling through him. He needed some whiskey. Just a little. Two gulps. Three at the most. All he needed was a little bit to tide him over through the night. To take the edge off the strain of their current predicament. Being the sole protector to an expectant woman was no easy feat.
Careful not to wake her, he got up and went to his sack where he had hidden six flasks of whiskey. Thankfully, no one had touched his belongings when he had left them in the livery stable with his horse. In addition to that, he had had the foresight to fill all his flasks before he went to the bar where Orson and his men found him. Now, he had enough to last him until he reached the next town. From there, they would go to the Utah Territory.
From there, they would go through Nevada and then finally get to California. They still had a long ways to go, but at least they were making progress. They just had to take it one day at a time. At least by now, they should be far enough so that Orson and his goons wouldn’t be able to find them.
He took a flask from his sack and looked over at Lokni to make sure she was still asleep. Then he went a few feet from the camp so he wouldn’t wake her. He settled onto the grass and removed the lid of the flask.
He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This marriage was just as awful for Lokni as it was for him. Neither had asked to be put in this position, but what could they do? Even if his first marriage hadn’t worked out, he still believed marriage should last a lifetime. So they were stuck together whether they liked it or not.
Forcing aside the urge to cry, he took a long swallow of the alcohol, and at once, the familiar liquid soothed him. There was nothing as comforting as whiskey on a cool, lonely night. He stared at the land in front of him. Out in that direction was California. The place where he could get a new start.
He took another long swallow of the whiskey. No one understood how much he needed this. Just a little drink at the end of the day to relax. That’s all he ever needed. If only Joe had understood that, then Joe wouldn’t have left him in town. Then he wouldn’t be married right now.
But then… Without meaning to, he glanced over at Lokni who was a good ways from him. From the distance, he couldn’t even make out her face. He could only make out the curve of her body as she slept under the blanket.
She had a child. An innocent little human being who hadn’t asked to come into the world. What would have happened to her and the child if Orson and his goons hadn’t dragged him out to the preacher’s house to marry her? What other kind of man would they have found instead? Would it be someone who knew that the innocent and vulnerable should be protected? Or would it have been someone who didn’t have any morals?
He took one more swallow and then screwed the cap back on the flask. Maybe things did happen for a reason. So few people out here cared much for the law. It wasn’t a civilized area. The preacher had been right about that. In Omaha, he couldn’t think of a single time when a group of men had held a defenseless woman hostage and abused her the way Lokni had been abused. If he hadn’t been at the bar, what would have become of her? The chances of a woman and child making it all the way out here without the help of a man just weren’t all that good.
With a sigh, he got to his feet and headed back to the camp. He slipped the flask into his sack before he returned to his bedroll. At least with the whiskey in his veins, he would get a good night’s sleep. He closed his eyes, and sure enough, he soon fell into a dreamless sleep where all his troubles vanished.