Brandon breathed a sigh of relief as they made it to the river six days later. They were able to reach it before the baby was born. He hadn’t been sure if they would because over the past few days, Lokni had looked like she was in pain. It didn’t happen all the time. Just once in a while. And whenever he asked her about it, she insisted she was fine.
Though he hadn’t been convinced, he kept his mouth shut and continued walking. She was surprisingly stubborn. She wasn’t anything like his first wife. She would have taken a break at any opportunity he gave her.
Maybe Lokni didn’t need a break because she’d grown up in rugged territory. Maybe the women in her tribe lived a harsher life. Maybe she was reluctant to accept help from him because he was white, just like Orson and his friends had been. Maybe when she looked at him, he reminded her of them and all the pain they’d put her through. Or maybe…just maybe, it was a little bit of everything.
Either way, he couldn’t blame her. He had difficulties trusting people after what he’d been through. But what had happened to him couldn’t be compared to the kinds of things Lokni had endured. Being a man, at least he’d been able to take the wagon train and leave. The only way Lokni could go anywhere was if she had a man with her because she was in no position to protect herself or the child she was carrying.
Well, at least they were at the river. From here, they would have a fresh water source. And just in time, too. They were down to the last couple of gulps in their canteens. Had it not been for the rain the other night that he’d collected, they wouldn’t have had anything at all.
He took his horse to the nearest tree and wrapped the reins around it. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Lokni hurrying over to the river to get some water. She cupped the water in the palms of her hands and quickly swallowed before dipping them into the water again.
He knew she was thirsty. He shook his head. Either she was stubborn or she was too proud to tell him when she needed something. Probably both. The two traits seemed to go together.
After he set out their bedding for the evening, he took their canteens to the river. At first, he almost went near her, but then he figured she would probably rather be alone and chose a spot further away. He dared another glance over at her as he filled up the first canteen. She was washing her face.
Curious, he dipped his free hand into the water. It was cool but not uncomfortably so. It’d probably been awhile since she had a bath. He hadn’t had one in over two weeks. He glanced at the sky. Judging by the position of the sun, it was around five. It was earlier than when they usually stopped for the evening, but he’d been so excited to get to the river that his first thought was to set up camp and rest. Lokni, especially, could use the break.
Once he finished filling both canteens, he went over to her. She stopped drinking a handful of water and looked up at him.
“I filled up your canteen,” he said. “The water isn’t that cold, and we got plenty of daylight left. If you want to take a bath, now would be a good time.” In case she thought he was going to use this as an excuse to see her naked, he added, “I’ll have my back turned to the river, so you don’t need to worry that I’ll be watching you.”
Her gaze went to the river, and he caught the desire to take a bath flicker over her face.
To further encourage her, he added, “I’ll get the soap, towel, and new clothes for you.”
“New clothes?” she asked.
“While we were in town, the preacher got a couple of new things for you. One skirt and shirtwaist are for after the baby is born. He also got a dress you can use before you have the baby. He got you a belt so you can tighten the dress around your waist after the baby is born.” He paused then added, “When you have the baby, we’ll stay put for a few days, and we’ll clean the clothes you’re wearing now at that time. For now, I’ll get the new ones and bring them to you. Just bring the old ones to me when you’re done, and I’ll put them away.”
Without waiting for her to reply, he went to grab the things she would need for her bath.
***
It was two days later when Lokni’s contractions were real. She’d had false ones over the past week, and though she hadn’t told Brandon about them, it did make it harder to keep going. But she was determined to make good time on their travel to the next town, so she focused on the blades of grass in front of her as they trudged through the endless prairie. As soon as they reached the river, he had told her that she could give birth any time she wanted. To this, she rolled her eyes, though she made sure he hadn’t seen her do it. Men understood nothing about birth and how things worked.
When she realized her contractions were getting stronger and more frequent, instead of becoming softer and growing further apart, she knew her labor was real.
“We have to stop,” she told him as another round of pain wrapped around her abdomen.
“You need a break?” he asked.
“The baby’s ready,” she said.
Then, without waiting for him to respond, she went near the river and removed the undergarments from under her dress. Fortunately, they weren’t soiled. Last time, she had bled on her clothes at this point into the labor.
Out of breath, she sat on the grass and spread her legs. If she wasn’t careful, she might faint. The day was a hot one, and the midday sun beating down on her wasn’t helping. She needed a moment to gather her strength before she could move again in order to encourage the progression of the labor.
Once Brandon secured the horse to a lone bush, he ran over to her, his expression one a mixture of panic and shock. “Are you having the baby right now?”
“No, not yet. I just needed to sit down.” She took a deep breath and released it. Already, her head started to clear.
He knelt beside her. “What do you need me to do?”
“We’ll need some water. Some for me and some for cleaning up the baby when it comes. Get one of the preacher’s old shirts.”
He nodded and hurried back to the supplies that were with the horse.
She didn’t dare tell him the baby might not make it, that they might be burying the little one. She didn’t want to think that way. Her mother had told her that it wasn’t wise to worry about the bad that might happen. You can’t change the future by worrying about it, her mother had said. All you’ll do is make yourself sad.
Her mother was right. She would just focus on giving birth. After that, she would see what needed to be done.
Brandon made quick time on getting enough water for her and the baby. He set a pot full of water next to her then gave her the canteen. “Here. Drink some.”
She waited for the contraction to subside before she took it. The cool water from the river was wonderfully refreshing. She hated to admit it, but she was glad they had made it to the river before the baby was ready to be born. It would make things easier.
She took a deep breath and rose to her feet.
“What are you doing?” he asked in alarm. “You need to stay on the ground.”
She shook her head. “It’ll go faster if I keep moving.”
“You can’t keep walking. Not now.”
“I won’t go further than the horse.”
He watched her as she did this, and after she reached the horse on her third time, another contraction came over her. Gritting her teeth, she squatted down and counted backwards, careful to keep her breathing slow and steady.
“What are you doing?” he called out. “Are you having the baby right now?”
She ignored him and concentrated on her counting and breathing.
To her surprise, he touched her shoulder, and she let out a yelp and fell back.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he hurried to help her back into the squatting position. “I thought you needed me to deliver the baby.”
“Not yet,” she replied through the contraction. “It’s going to be a while.”
“How long?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t have any idea at all?”
“Will you stop it?” she snapped. “The pain is worse when you’re talking.”
He let go of her and backed up. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. Just let me know when you need me to do something.”
She forced aside the hurt tone in his voice. She couldn’t think about that right now. Not when the pain was getting worse. She would have to apologize once she could think straight.
While he made a campfire and set out their things, she alternated between walking and squatting. He kept his distance. From time to time, he’d watch her, probably to gauge whether or not she needed him, but it took all of her focus to breathe through the pain.
The people in her tribe considered it an honor to scream while in labor. The louder the screams, the more impressed the men were with how difficult this process was. But she didn’t think the same would be true for Brandon. She thought if she screamed, he would panic. He had already been hovering over her like a mother hen ever since they left the preacher’s home.
When it was finally time for the baby to be born, the sun was ready to set for the night. Brandon was by the campfire, still watching her with a worried frown on his face. From the looks of it, he hadn’t eaten much of his supper.
She hesitated for a moment but then waved him over to where she stood by a towel and a pot of water. He jumped to his feet and ran over to her.
“Will you catch the baby when it comes?” she asked through her strained breathing.
He nodded and held his hands out toward her. “Do I put my hands under your dress?”
If the urge to push hadn’t been so overwhelming, she might have laughed. Instead, she lifted her dress and settled on the grass. “No. Get between my legs. The baby will come to you.”
He did as instructed, and she wasn’t sure if it was the hot air or the fact that she could feel the baby’s head getting ready to appear, but he looked as if he was ready to faint.
“You have to focus,” she told him. “Don’t think about what you’re doing. Just do it.”
That seemed to toughen him up, for his face regained its color. She’d assisted women in birth quite a few times in the tribe. She recalled the first time she’d done it. She’d felt disgusted and weak, both things he no doubt experienced now. But her mother had told her this was the way of things, and that she needed to focus on the moment. Don’t get distracted by anything but making sure the baby is alive, her mother had said.
She closed her eyes and concentrated on pushing, counting each second that passed. She had her own worries about the birth, but she couldn’t dwell on those at the moment. She could only hope this child would make it. If the child did, then this would be the one good thing that had happened to her in a long time.
Finally, she felt the head come out, and after that, there was a release of pressure which let her know the child had been born. As soon as she gathered the strength, she opened her eyes and dared to look at the baby.
The boy was squirming in Brandon’s hands. She checked for the cord, but it wasn’t around his neck. Then her gaze went back to the boy’s face. For what seemed like a long moment, there was no sound coming from the baby, but then a weak cry escaped from his mouth. The next cry was also weak, but then the one following it got stronger. And better yet, the baby was a healthy pink color. This baby didn’t have the bluish color her daughter had upon birth.
Brandon let out a laugh. He looked up at her. “My mother was right. There is something miraculous about a child’s birth.” He then hurried to wrap the baby in the towel and then gave the boy to her. “Here you go.” Then he turned to wash his hands.
She cradled the newborn in her arms, and the baby immediately settled down. She touched his face and his hands, just to make sure he was real—that this wasn’t all a dream.
“I’ll bring over some things to make you and the baby more comfortable,” Brandon said before he headed for their belongings.
Lokni turned her attention back to the child—her son!—and studied him. He was perfectly formed. He had a head full of dark hair, wide eyes, a button nose, ten fingers, and ten toes. His breathing was regular now, and he seemed intent on staring at her in wonder. Yes, he still needed to be washed up and the afterbirth needed to be dealt with, but that could wait for a moment. For now, right at this moment, she wanted to enjoy looking at her son. Brandon was right. It was a miracle that something so wonderful could come out of all the heartache and pain she’d had to endure over the past year.
Brandon came over to them with her blankets, a cloth and safety pins, a canteen, and some of his camping gear. He set the items down then set his rolled up bedroll behind her.
“I want you to lean back on this,” he said. “I know it won’t be the most comfortable position for you to be in, but I’m going to have to clean you up, and it’ll be easier to do that if you’re leaning back. But first,” he picked up the canteen and unscrewed the lid, “I want you to drink some water. You barely had anything to drink today. You have to be thirsty.”
In all the excitement of having her son, she’d forgotten about drinking anything. She accepted the canteen and drank from it.
“Do you think you’ll be able to walk in about a half hour?” he asked.
She handed him the empty canteen. “Yes.”
“Good because I think we’ll be better off sleeping over at the campfire.” He shook the canteen and frowned. “You were thirstier than I thought,” he said. “Do you need more water?”
“Not right now. I’m fine.”
“In that case, I’ll get you more water when I’m done cleaning the afterbirth,” he said as he took out the small knife from his sack. He glanced at her. “I don’t know much about this kind of thing, but I know that the cord needs to be cut. Do you want me to do it, or do you want to do it?”
“You do it.”
She didn’t want to take the chance her son would move while she was taking care of the cord. She moved the towel from her son so that Brandon got a clear view of the cord. Once he washed the knife in the pot, he cut it.
They settled into silence after that. She continued to study her son while Brandon took care of the afterbirth. A few times, she glanced at Brandon, wondering if he would get queasy, but his earlier apprehension had departed from him. She wasn’t sure why such was the case. Maybe when the situation called for it, he could press through his fears and get the job done. Sometimes it took being immersed in a trial in order to think clearly.
Once he was done, he helped her wash the child. She watched him, surprised he should be so gentle. He’d been gentle with her, too, now that she thought about it.
After a moment, she cleared her throat. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier today.”
He gave her a smile as he dried the boy’s feet. “You were in pain, and I was bothering you. It was to be expected.”
She returned his smile and then diapered her son with the small cloth. Once she secured the diaper with the safety pins, she swaddled him with one of Brandon’s clean shirts.
“You think you’re ready to move?” Brandon asked.
She nodded and let him slip his arm around her waist. He brought her to her feet and helped her to the campfire. He laid out the blankets and helped her settle on them.
“Will you be alright?” he asked.
“I’ll be fine. I should feed him. He hasn’t had anything since he came into the world.”
“Do you want to eat anything?”
She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”
He hesitated but then went to his bedroll and set a handful of jerky on the blanket next to her. “In case you get hungry while I’m asleep, you can have this. I’m going to get you more water.”
She watched as he picked up the canteen and returned to the river. The sun had set by now. The oranges and pinks that had been in the sky had been replaced by various shades of blue that would soon give way to the dark of night. She turned her attention back to her son and began to nurse him. With a smile, she reached for his hand, and he clasped his small fingers—his small perfect fingers—around her thumb. The day had been perfect in so many ways. Tears welled up in her eyes.
Her son’s conception might not have been beautiful, but his birth certainly had been. And she couldn’t help but think that Brandon had really come through and helped her when she’d needed it. For the first time, she was glad the contractions she’d had that day at the preacher’s house had prevented her from leaving without Brandon. She didn’t know if this day would have gone so well if he hadn’t been with her.
She took one more look at Brandon while he was filling her canteen at the river. Turning her attention back to her son, she whispered, “Maybe Brandon’s not so bad after all.”