It was right at dawn when Brandon woke up. For a moment, he thought the events of the previous day had been a dream, but when he sat up and looked across the campfire pit, he saw Lokni sleeping on her side with her baby sleeping next to her. Both of them looked as content as could be.
He still couldn’t believe how tiny the baby was. The moment he held the child, he was struck by a sense of awe. He’d never held a newborn child before. Actually, he hadn’t held any child before. His first wife had never gotten in the family way in the six years they’d been married. So it’d been a new experience to handle a baby. And he’d enjoyed it.
He’d forgotten all about his fear that he would somehow mess something up while helping Lokni deliver him. In the moment when he took a good look at the brand new life in his hands, he felt a spark of something he hadn’t had in a long time: hope. Hope in something bigger than himself.
Holding onto the memory of that moment, Brandon picked up the canteen next to him and took a long drink of the water. It didn’t quench his thirst like he had expected. After a few seconds, he knew why. He hadn’t had any whiskey last night. On nights when he didn’t drink any whiskey, he’d woken up with a terrible thirst that water couldn’t quench. Given all the excitement, it wasn’t all that surprising he’d forgotten to get a couple swallows of whiskey in.
He put on his boots then got up from his bedroll and sorted through his belongings, careful not to wake Lokni or the baby. He found the six flasks. Already, two were empty, and half of the third was almost gone. He’d drunk too much. There was no way his remaining supply would last until they reached town. They needed to stay here for a couple of days. Lokni was in no shape to continue on their way to town. She and the baby needed time to rest after all their hard work yesterday.
Leaving the flasks in his sack, he returned to the canteen and made his way to the river. The morning was quiet, except for the insects chirping around him. He sat on the bank of the river and drank the rest of the water in the canteen. Still, the nagging thirst wouldn’t go away. He wiped his mouth and stared at the water flowing in front of him, willing the gentle current to calm him so that he didn’t notice the absence of alcohol in his body. After a few minutes, it worked. The urge to go to his flasks and take a drink passed.
Relieved, he knelt by the river and filled the canteen. If he’d been smart, he would have brought Lokni’s canteen with him. She might have finished the whole thing last night.
He stood up and returned to their camp. Once he put his canteen down, he checked hers and noticed that it was half full. After a quick debate, he decided to fill it back up. It wouldn’t hurt for her to have a full canteen. As he was filling her canteen, he heard the sound of an animal in the grass nearby. He glanced over and saw a rabbit jump away from him.
That gave him an idea. They would be stuck here for at least a couple of days. He’d seen wildlife on their way through the prairie. There were a few deer that passed on by them from time to time. Some fresh meat would be a nice reprieve from all the jerky and other scraps they’d been eating.
Excited, he hurried back to the camp, quietly set the canteen beside Lokni, and then sorted through the bullets. Good. He had more than enough for his rifle. He knew he had them for his Colt .45, but it was nice to know he also had them for his rifle. The rifle would make it easier to hunt.
In the meantime, it might be nice to have some fish for breakfast. He was sure he saw a fish or two swimming in the river. They were out of eggs, and he didn’t want more bland oatmeal. But fish would be different, and maybe Lokni might like a change of menu, too. Besides, considering how early it was, he didn’t think she’d be up for another hour, and it would take a while to catch fish.
Decision made, he grabbed the pot he’d cleaned out last night after he’d taken care of Lokni’s afterbirth and went to the river. He set the bowl on the riverbank, took off his boots and knitted socks. Then he rolled his trousers up to his knees. He went into the cold water and paused long enough to get used to the temperature before he proceeded further, careful to stick to the shallow areas.
He caught sight of a fish swimming by and reached for it, but the thing was too slippery and escaped. He waited for the next one to come, but he missed that one as well. During his childhood, he used to fish this way. Waiting for a fish to take the bait on a hook hadn’t been his style.
Now, however, he would have preferred to sit on the bank and wait for the fish to come to him instead of standing in the cold water. If he wasn’t so determined to get fish for breakfast, he would have given up in the first twenty minutes of unsuccessfully catching anything.
But then, as the sun started coming up over the horizon, his luck changed, and he managed to get one. He took it to the pot and threw it in. Encouraged, he went back into the river. By the time the sunlight was hitting him in the eyes, he had gathered three more.
When he made it back to the camp, Lokni was nursing her son.
“Do you like fish?” he asked as he set the pot by the campfire pit.
“Yes, it’s alright,” she replied as she looked at the pot. “You have fish in there?”
Unable to hide his excitement, he smiled as he grabbed the items he needed to start a fire. “Four. And I’m going to cook them up for breakfast. It’ll be a nice change, don’t you think?”
“It will.”
As he worked on getting the fire going, he asked, “Do you eat fish often?”
“No. I only ate it when my tribe came upon a river.”
“Did your tribe move around a lot?”
“We did. Sometimes we’d stay somewhere for a few months. Especially when the weather was cold. But in warm seasons, we’d go from one area to another in search of food to sustain us.”
“So all this traveling we’re doing right now is common for you?”
“It is. It’s just that you and I don’t have a teepee to sleep in.”
That explained why she didn’t complain about the long days of walking. He’d heard of tribes that went from one place to another. Most of them would trade for goods with the white man. He wondered if her tribe had settled near the town to trade goods when Orson and his goons took her. He thought of asking, but it seemed like it was much too soon to get personal about anything. They still didn’t know much about each other.
And besides, they’d just had a part of bringing a new life into the world yesterday. The day had been one of the best he’d ever experienced. He wasn’t sure he wanted to taint the good memory with something as unpleasant as the circumstances surrounding her kidnapping.
“I was heading to California when we met,” he finally decided to say. “I heard it’s beautiful there. A man I knew told me that if you go south enough, the weather is nice all year around. The ocean is out there, too, and it’s supposed to be one of the most awe-inspiring sights a man can lay eyes on. I thought it would be a nice place to live, so that’s the direction we’ve been going.” He paused then added, “It sounds like a good place to raise a family.”
Unable to keep looking at her, he turned his attention back to the fire that he’d finally got going. He waved the flames to encourage them to get stronger. He’d probably said too much. Yes, they were stuck together. Their futures were now entwined. She had a child that he would be a father to. But since love hadn’t been the force that had brought them together, it felt awkward to mention that they were a family.
He probably should have kept his mouth shut. He should have just told her about California and left it at that. He shouldn’t have let the dreams he’d had when he married the first time get in the way of how things really were. When he was married the first time, he had been excited about the possibility of having children. If it hadn’t been for the baby Lokni just had, he was sure the words would never have escaped his lips.
Something in him couldn’t help but be impacted by the child’s birth. He thought of explaining all of this to Lokni. But what if he only made things worse? Being eloquent of speech had never been his strong point. If he was smart, he would act like he hadn’t said anything and just fry up the fish. So, deciding he would be smart for once, he gathered his cooking supplies and started to cook the fish, pretending he didn’t notice how awkward the silence was between them.
***
Lokni wasn’t sure how to respond. Yes, he’d been nice to her ever since they’d met. Nicer than any man she’d ever come across. But she wasn’t sure it was something to base an entire life on. He was still very much a stranger to her, and she had her child to think about.
Her gaze went to her son’s face. There was no telling who the father was. Maybe since her son was a little lighter in skin tone than she was, people might assume Brandon was his father. It would help to avoid any awkward questions, especially since no one had to know she had given birth to him right after marrying Brandon. People didn’t need to know her past. They didn’t need to know the details of the child’s conception.
Her son drifted off to sleep just as Brandon finished with the fish. She placed him on the blanket next to her. He was swaddled up in one of Brandon’s shirts. Given the cool air of the morning, she used part of her blanket and tucked it around him. Then she lowered her dress.
She probably should have felt shy about exposing so much of herself to Brandon, but after all she’d been through, it was the least of her concerns. She’d lost all sense of modesty when Orson and his friends came into her life. Right now, she was just glad her son was alive, and from the looks of it, he was healthy. Besides, if Brandon wanted to do something, she couldn’t stop him. Like the other men, he was too strong for her to overcome.
But Brandon hadn’t made a move to touch her except to clean her up after the birth and help her walk. He’d seen her nursing her son but hadn’t stared at her breasts. Then again, she figured nursing infants wasn’t something that would arouse a man. And that worked to her advantage. She really didn’t want to be with another man again.
Even in her tribe when she’d been with her first husband, she’d dreaded it. He was kind enough, she supposed. But she’d only been one of his wives. Her sisters had also been married to him, and all he’d cared about was getting her with child.
She hadn’t been his favorite wife. He’d only married her because her parents had arranged it when she turned fourteen. He had been one of the best hunters in the tribe, and because of that, her parents had wished for all of their three daughters to have his children.
She and her first husband never said much to each other, and she was relieved when he went to one of her sisters instead. That particular arrangement, despite all of its unpleasantness, had been preferable to Orson and his men. With Orson and his men, there hadn’t been the least bit of kindness, and for the first time, she had actually missed her first husband who had died when their tribe was raided.
She looked back at her child. She didn’t think it was possible to love anyone the way she loved him, but whenever she studied him, there was a strange sensation in her chest. She believed her heart might just burst with joy if she would let it.
“Are you ready to eat?” Brandon called out to her. “Fish don’t stay hot for long.”
She glanced over at the campfire where Brandon was placing two fish on a plate. “I only want one,” she told him.
“Are you sure? They’re not very filling.”
“I’m not very hungry. If I eat too much, I’ll probably get sick.”
His eyebrows furrowed and he examined her face. “Are you sick right now?”
“No. Just tired.”
Looking relieved, he nodded and removed one of the fish from her plate then put it on his. “We’ll stay here for a few days. I figured you and the baby won’t be ready to go anywhere for a while.” He went over to her and gave her the plate.
“Thank you.” When he didn’t go back to his side of the campfire, she asked, “Is something wrong?”
“No. I was just wondering if you have a name for him.”
“I haven’t picked a name yet. I need some time to think about it.”
“When you do pick one, will you tell me? I’d like to know what to call him.”
“I’ll tell you.”
He returned to his spot at the campfire, and she took a good look at her son. Normally, she would pick a name of a prominent member in her tribe. She had been named after a woman who had been a master storyteller. Her ability to remember the tiniest of details had led to many in the tribe respecting her.
But she wasn’t sure she wanted to do that. Her son marked the beginning of a new life for her. She wasn’t a part of the tribe anymore. All of that had been taken away. She didn’t want to name him after anyone who reminded her of the town she’d just left, either. She wanted her child to have a name that looked to the future, something that would denote hope.
After she tucked the blanket in more securely around his waist, she turned her attention to the fish on her plate. She wouldn’t rush in giving him a name. She wanted to give him the right one. A name was important. It was something that would define him, something he would have to live with for the rest of his life.
With a glance at Brandon who was already eating his fish, she started to eat hers. She still wasn’t sure what to make of him, but there was no doubt he was a good man. Probably one of the few good men who existed. Maybe the preacher was right. Maybe God put her with him so that he would see to it that she and her child made it safely to the next town. And then, they could start their new life with the past safely behind them.