1. Trapped nerves in neck between fifth and sixth discs. (Playing over a long period of time and the physical weight of the guitar accelerated degenerative spondylotic changes at the C5–C6 level in neck, resulting in existing nerve roots being inflamed and trapped. This has caused muscle weakness called paraesthesia, resulting in pins and needles and numbness in both arms. Neurosurgical advice was that it was inoperable. Normally the weight of the head is balanced on the C-shaped neck. The C-shape acts like a shock absorber, bending with impact rather than a straight neck, which would simply jar. Bending forwards with the neck more parallel with the floor, plus the weight of the guitar (10kg), has massively stressed the neck.)
2. Bent lower spine. (From thrusting the guitar, one love handle sticks out more than the other. Decades of playing bass guitar in my rather distinctive and somewhat unusual style has bent my lumbar spine to one side, and it’s become fixed in an antalgic posture.)
3. One arm is longer than the other (guess which one?). (Years of playing has resulted in changes in the morphology of my shoulder girdle so much that one arm now appears permanently longer than the other.)
4. 64db dip at 4K in right ear.
5. Recurrent lumbar spine and pelvic injuries, particularly with my sacroiliac joints, caused by prolonged bending forwards, playing the guitar and years of abuse, sleeping in chairs/cars/floors/weird positions, etc.
6. Alcoholism.
7. Cocaine addiction.
8. Repetitive strain injuries in both elbows.
9. Delusions of grandeur.
10. Various STDs.