It looked like a big plaza to Shay; a cobbled one, like Kilmainham or Collins Barracks. In front of him was an old ambulance, its exhaust coughing dirty fumes. It was covered in rust and the back bumper dangled. He was inside it now, but couldn’t make out the driver. Ahead of them was a gate, its big wooden doors closed. Kids were massed on the wall over it. ‘We have to do it. There’s no turning back,’ the driver said. His voice sounded familiar. The ambulance spluttered as it tried to pick up speed, bobbing up and down. He could hear the back bumper scrape off the cobbles. The ambulance stopped at the gate as it creaked open. Bottles and glasses rained down on them. The roof was buckling. The windscreen began to crack. ‘We have to go back,’ Shay shouted, covering his face with his arms. The windscreen was collapsing. ‘This is where it gets dangerous,’ the driver said. Shay turned to him and saw his own face, all burned and scarred.
Shay screamed as he woke.
Heaving in deep breaths, he composed himself.
His senses told him something was different.
Lisa and the kids were downstairs, but the sounds seemed subdued.
He grabbed his dressing gown, tying it loosely. He couldn’t find his slippers. Something told him to move. Half way down the stairs he stopped.
Three holdalls were lined up by the door. Molly’s favourite dolly, Izzy, was sticking out of her bag. Charlie’s favourite teddy, Alfie the dog, sat on top of his bag.
His body floated as if he missed a step. He clasped the railing to ground himself, as it hit him.
No fucking way. They can’t be.
As he reached the sitting room, there was a beeping from somewhere. He looked into the kitchen. Lisa was leaning over the table, her finger pointing, as if issuing instructions to the kids. She halted suddenly. He knew she sensed his presence, but she didn’t turn to him.
The kids were drawing.
They beamed up at him.
‘We’re going on a secret trip, Daddy,’ Molly said, pushing herself up out of her chair.
‘Nana’s having Halloween party,’ Charlie piped up, struggling to hold a huge marker in his little fingers.
‘Ssh, it’s a secret,’ Molly said.
Shay looked to Lisa.
She had her back to him. She was sorting out a row of tupperwares, filled with Halloween goodies she had bought for the kids.
‘You’re not serious,’ Shay said, with as much strength as he could, but it was almost a whisper.
Lisa busied herself moving things in and out of the containers and wiping already clean surfaces with a cloth. Shay saw her glance at the kids before turning around and looking at him. There was no anger in her features. But something had changed. Her eyes were clear. They told him she was leaving. She held the contact, so he could be in no doubt.
She turned back to run the cloth around the sink again.
Shay stood there, not able to figure out what words to assemble.
‘We’re drawing you a scary picture, Daddy,’ Molly said, spreading her left hand across her drawing as if to reveal it. ‘I have a witch and this is a pot. She puts frogs and legs in to make a potion.’
She smiled up at Shay, who stared at the pot. It had a leg sticking out of it.
‘Mine a scary car with a ghost,’ Charlie said, all excited.
Shay’s face twisted.
They think it’s a game, a game on Daddy. What can I do? My beautiful kids.
Maybe they were only going down for the party, for Halloween, he told himself, and would be back when all the madness died down. He looked at Lisa for any signs this could be true, but she was busy scratching dried flakes off the hob.
He thought he heard the noise of a car. The doorbell rang, but it sounded muffled. Maybe his ears were too blocked to hear. Little feet scampered. He sensed Lisa gliding past him. He shuffled after them.
‘Granpa, Granpa!’ he heard the kids shout.
Lisa’s dad stood in the doorway, clasping the two children in a big bear hug. Lisa was gathering up coats. Shay watched the motions and movements, but felt removed in some way. It was like part of his brain had shut down.
‘Daddy, someone squashed our pumpkin,’ Molly shouted, pointing to outside the front door. ‘And someone stole our skeleton.’
The words didn’t really register with Shay as Lisa and her dad ushered the kids out. Shay looked down at the pumpkin. The top of the head had been kicked in, leaving just the edge of its twisted mouth.
He stood onto the rough tarmac. A gust of wind whipped around his shins and blew back the edges of his dressing gown.
‘Hairy legs, Daddy,’ Charlie shouted and laughed.
‘You’re like a hairy pencil,’ Molly said.
The boot of the car was sticking up. Shay could see smoke from the green curling behind it. His nose twitched at the stink. Bags were thrown in and the boot closed. He could see a mass of twisted metal on the green.
‘Has Nana got a scary Scooby Doo? Has she?’ It was Molly’s voice.
‘And scary sweets?’ That was Charlie’s.
The sides of his dressing gown were flapping back, but he didn’t notice. He was feeling dizzy, like when he spun Molly or Charlie round and round. His mouth was stone dry. He needed water.
Wake up.
There was another voice. The kids were in the back seats. The window was down. What? They’re waving, calling. Someone blocked his vision. It was Lisa. She said something. Was that a kiss against his cheek? When he blinked and refocused, she was in the car.
He heard Lisa’s voice.
‘Daddy has a football tournament on, kids. Say bye bye.’
‘Bye Daddy.’ Molly’s and Charlie’s voices collided and sang. ‘Love you.’
There was a noise. An engine.
Do something, for Christ’s sake.
He reached out his hand and grasped in their direction, but there was only air.
The wind blew again. It ran up his legs, snaking up into his chest.
His vision cleared. They were gone.
He wasn’t sure, but when a door closed nearby, he sensed he had been standing there for a while. Someone looked at him as they passed.
Above him there were claps. An arrowhead of swans swooped low over the house and arced away from him.
He pushed himself inside, forgetting to close the door.
The silence seized him. He shivered at it.
Alfie had been left behind. He lay there at the entrance, his two front paws stretched out. A flame of hope flared somewhere inside Shay.
Charlie will miss this at night. I could bring it down. Yeah.
He brought Alfie into the sitting room. There was that beeping noise again. He looked up and copped it was the battery in the smoke alarm.
‘How did it get to this?’ he muttered.
He half stumbled into the kitchen. His bones chilled at the absence of noise, of life. His feet recoiled at the coldness of the tiles. He stood there waiting for a smack in the face, something violent to wake him up.
The drawings on the table were all that was left of the kids. He looked at Molly’s witch and the cauldron. He didn’t like the leg sticking out of the pot.
He looked at Charlie’s drawing. There was a massive black jeep, with thick bull bars to the front. They weren’t curved, but straight and angular and bent around the bonnet. The jeep stretched back with several doors and loads of rectangles for windows. The tyres were huge. At the back of the jeep stood a figure, oddly shaped, like a thin man with a big head. There was no nose or mouth. Just two crude shapes for eyes. There were lines from each eye going up and right across the face.
What did Charlie say it was? A scary car with a ghost.
Shay fell to his knees. And raged his head off the tiles.