92 is a lot of days. That is how many we have from the end of 3rd grade which was yesterday until the beginning of 4th grade which is on September 1. I know it is 92 days because I counted them on my Shiralee's Beauty Spot calendar. My grandmother who is named Glamma and lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, sent it to me in the mail in a big brown envelope that said Lucy Rose Reilly, Queen of Capitol Hill and Washington, D.C., and also had sparkling rose stickers on it. Anybody who is not an absolute infant could tell that I am not a queen, but Glamma likes to act royally and so do I. She got the calendar for free because Shiralee is her sister and also the owner of the Beauty Spot. It came with a card that said: “Dear Lucy Rose, Put your plans on this. Love, Glam. P.S. I already marked one V.I.D. That means Very Important Date.”
I wrote a thank-you note that instant because my other grandmother, that is also named Lucy Rose only I call her Madam, says that whenever I get a present I have to write a letter right away that very day if I'm going to have any manners at all. I pay attention to that recommendation because Madam is one who knows an extremely lot about living plus she is the writer of a newspaper column that tells people what to do if they have the kind of kids who won't behave.
Here's what I said: “Dear Glamma. Thank you! I needed a calendar like mad because one thing I am big on is plans even though at this minute I only have 3. Love, Lucy Rose.”
One of those plans is to write down what happens in my almost never boring life in this journal that my grandfather who is called Pop gave me for an end-of-school present which I seriously needed because I already filled up the 2 books he gave me last year. When I got this one I said, “Yippee-yi-yo, cowgirl! This book is a beaut.”
And it is because it has a swirl design that's the same as on my cowgirl boots. Plus it's red and they are too.
Here is what Pop said to me: “A beaut for a beaut.”
My second plan is to go to Parks & Rec with my greatest friend who is Jonique McBee, and make a lanyard key chain out of Gimp for my mom's birthday that's on July 13 while Jonique makes a pot holder out of stretchy circle things for her mother only she is making hers just for love because Mrs. McBee's birthday doesn't come until January. I do not want to make a pot holder because I have done it before and most of the time just when you are getting finished with the weaving, it pops off of the pokey plastic thing and you can't get it back on no matter what you try. Plus I have never seen one of those pot holders that is not ugly but I am not telling that to Jonique because that would be rude which is one thing I am not.
I wrote PARKS & REC OPENS on the square of Monday, June the 8th, which is the Beauty Spot month for getting Carefree Hair which I already have. July is for Permanent Curls which are another thing I got automatically when I was born. August is when you're supposed to Get Romantic Hair, which I don't have and don't want. It's also where I found giant letters that say: “LUCY ROSE'S 9th BIRTHDAY ADVENTURE WITH DAD!”
That is my top V.I.D. for the whole summer.
Jonique and I are feeling desperate for it to be June 8. For now, we are 2 girls waiting, mostly at my grandparents’ house. I spend a lot of my days and some of my nights at Madam and Pop's because it's 3 blocks away from my house and because my mom has to go to her job which is being an artist at a TV station and because I can't stay with my dad on account of he lives in Ann Arbor, which is where I lived before we got a separation last summer. Staying at Madam and Pop's house is A-OK because it's usually a pretty hilarious place to be.
My mom, who has the name of Lily, agrees with that because she lived there for her whole childhood with her sisters and brother who are all grown-ups now and live far away. My Aunt Marguerite lives so far away her house is in Japan.
Once I asked Pop, “Are you and Madam rich?”
And he said, “Rich in kids.”
“My mom and dad are not because I'm the only one they've got,” I said.
One extremely excellent thing about my grandparents’ house is that there are lots of rooms plus lots of porches and Pop thinks it's fine for kids to climb out the bathroom window and walk across the breezeway roof to pick apricots which is our third big plan once they are ripe. My mom says she gets queasy thinking about it but Pop says not one body has fallen yet and Madam says she needs the apricots.
Another thing about their house is it's old like you can't believe. The ceilings are made of metal called tin that have patterns on them. In my room on my tin ceiling there is a big fan that makes it very breezy and refreshing. My regular room has red walls and a pink dotty bedspread and a mirror that I love like anything that is covered with jewels that are fake but look real and I made it with my mom and not from a kit, either.
The only not-so-hot thing about staying at my grandparents’ is that Madam does not believe in cable TV even if it's the kind that is appropriate for kids and she does believe in health so she is big on soybean foods which are not the best tasting but she is also big on desserts which is pleasing to me and to Jonique.
Here's what happened at my mom's job: One of the other artists had a baby which my mom says is good for the lady and good for us because my mom will make overtime, which means extra work for extra money. “How do you feel about that?” my mom asked me.
“Excellent-O, because I am a fan of money,” I said. “How about we use your overtime to buy a DVD player?”
“How about we fix up the living room instead?” she said.
Which I have to say is a good plan because it needs it.
That idea made us go straight to Frager's Hardware store to get paint sample cards, which you're allowed to take home because they are free. We taped them to the living room wall which right now is a color I call tan and my mom calls depressing. My color cards are Sunset which is orange, Caribbean which looks like toothpaste, and Lemon Meringue that is so yellow my mom says it's electric which I say is a big compliment. I also got Raspberry which is jazzy pink, and Conch Shell which is light pink. My mom's colors are 2 greens called Sage and Celery, Periwinkle which is blue, Cream and Ivory which are dull, and Banana Frappe which is actually the color of butter. “We are going to look at them every day until we know which one is the winner,” I said.
Then my mom had to go to work so we walked to Constitution Avenue and she kissed me and kept walking to Union Station to get the subway which she says is the greatest thing about city living. I hopped the whole way to Madam and Pop's because I am one person who believes in exercise.
For dinner we had minestrone soup and cheese sandwiches on bread that's called whole grain and takes a lot of chewing but Madam says is good on account of it has fiber.
This morning I came down the back staircase and found Pop in the kitchen with oat flakes and skimmed milk that Madam left us for breakfast. Here's what I thought: P-U.
Madam wasn't there because she was taking her exercise with a class of ladies. It is not what I call good exercise because mostly they just stretch every which way until they are practically exhausted and have to go drink lattes.
Pop said, “We MUST have something to celebrate.”
That's what he always says when he wants to skip healthy food and go to Jimmy T's which is an extremely excellent restaurant in our neighborhood.
“School's out. That is something to celebrate,” I said.
“Good one,” Pop said.
Even though he is a grown-up, Pop is not such a big fan of school and he is totally against worksheets.
Before we left Pop said, “Call Melonhead and tell him to meet us at Jimmy T's. We'll pick up Jonique on the way.”
Melonhead is Adam Melon. Jonique and I didn't used to like him but now we do most of the time even though he can still get on our last nerves. When I asked him he said, “Sure I'll come. I had one breakfast but I am already hungry again.”
There are 2 things Melonhead loves in this world. One is science and the other one is food. The pleasing thing about him is that he is not one to have a panic if things get what my mother calls OUT OF HAND. Also he is a good sport about being called Melonhead which he says he doesn't mind but Madam says is not thoughtful.
On the walk to Jimmy T's Jonique asked Pop, “Can we have lemonade for breakfast?”
Pop said, “Sure,” which I knew he would.
By the time we got there I was meltingly hot so the first thing I did was put my hands on my neck like I was in the desert and say in my completely weakest voice, “Heeellllp meeeee, Mrs. T. I'm starving for lemonade.”
At the same exact second Jonique said, “Is Melonhead here yet?”
“Sorry, girls, no lemons. No Melon,” Mrs. T said.
Mrs. T is one person who can make you crack up laughing.
Right then Melonhead walked through the door and Mrs. T said, “Well, it looks like we have Melon after all.”
“Then I'll have a Melonade,” Pop said which had us all laughing our lips off.
We sat at the counter because Jonique and I are in love with the spinney stools. And when Mrs. T wanted our order Pop said did Mr. T, who is the cooking one of the Ts, make any liver and onions because that is what Jonique loves to eat for breakfast.
“It is not,” Jonique said.
Then Pop asked, “Do you have mashed turnips and stewed prunes on the menu?”
“Yes turnips. Yes prunes,” Mrs. T said. “They're the special of the day. With pickles on the side.”
This set Melonhead off and he started making his hooty laugh and the two ladies that were eating omelets in the front booth popped their heads up to look scowly at him.
Pop is a good kidder but I think he makes Jonique nervous when he acts like that in front of the public at Jimmy T's, so I ordered quick to keep him from getting carried away with himself. “Waffles with spray-on whipped cream, please,” I said.
“Excellent choice,” Mrs. T said.
Jonique said, “May I have French toast with powdered sugar and two plastic rectangles full of grape jelly for later?”
“Another great pick,” Mrs. T said.
“I'll have orange juice, bacon, blueberry pancakes, and eggs over easy, please-y,” Melon-head said.
Pop got cheese eggs and scrapple, which is one food that makes Madam feel horrified, and decaf coffee which is the only kind he is allowed to have or he will stay awake all night long. After we made our orders Pop patted his stomach and said, “We are living large,” which we were.
While we waited for our food Mrs. T let me and Jonique and Melonhead fill up the metal napkin boxes. She would have let Pop help too but he was filling in the New York Times cross words puzzle which is what he has to do every day pretty much first thing. Pop is good at those puzzles because he used to be a newspaperman and he still is a magazine writer. I expect one day I will be good at cross words because I have a quick-thinking mind, according to my mom. Plus, starting this summer I am collecting a huge vocabulary which is the other thing you need. Watching Pop do cross words is how I found out that standing akimbo means standing with your hands on your hips so your elbows poke out and that is a handy thing for me to know because I am one person that stands akimbo a lot of the time. 2 other words that came from the New York Times are exuberant which Madam says is exactly the kind of girl I am, and crestfallen which is when a person gets disappointed and their face goes all droopy because of it.
When our food came Pop said to all of us, “What's new?”
I told about needing some plans because of only having key chain making and apricot picking and birthday adventure on my Beauty Spot calendar. “And,” I said, “Madam says the apricots won't be ready until the end of July.”
“Jonique, do you have any plans?” Pop said.
“Pot holder weaving, family reunion, and a week at vacation Bible school at the Faith Tabernacle church,” she said. “And I want to go camping but my mom says she didn't work so hard making our house comfortable just so she could go outside and sleep on dirt.”
“Adam, do you have a summer plan?” Pop said.
Melonhead said, “To grow a mustache.”
Jonique and I started laughing like 2 hyenas but Pop just said, “Good idea. When do you think you'll start?”
“Soon,” Melonhead said. “At least by July.”
I took down the Sunset paint card because it is too crazy and my mom took down Ivory because it is too bland. Then I took down Raspberry because it is too much like my red room and my mom took down Celery the color because it is too much like celery the vegetable.
Later I e-mailed my dad which is a thing I do rather a lot, especially about palindromes, which are another kind of words I have a good way with. Madam and Pop are palindromes because they are the same backwards and forwards. Here's another one: Radar. I learned it from a NO SPEEDING sign. I wrote, “Dear Dad, I think of you morning, NOON, and night. Get it? Love, LR. P.S. I wonder what the big adventure is going to be.”
Today when I got to Jonique's house, her mother, who is one of my best adult friends, hollered, “Come in, Lucy Rose,” at me and made a big wave which looked funny because she had her hot glue gun in her hand.
That glue gun is Mrs. McBee's best thing that she loves the most not counting Jonique and Mr. McBee, of course. Jonique was with her in the kitchen and I could see green tissue paper and fake flowers and white baskets all over the table. I was not surprised because Mrs. McBee is one lady that is wild for projects and when she gets going, Jonique usually has to be her assistant. I looked at her right in her eyeballs and said, “What on earth is going on in this kitchen, Mrs. McBee?”
“We're making gift baskets for the seniors that live at the Capitol Hill Home,” she said. “I can use your help, Lucy Rose.”
“Sign me up!” I told her.
One thing I love to do is work a hot glue gun but Mrs. McBee is not one for sharing that job. Instead she pointed at the boxes that were on top of the radiator. “You and Jonique take one thing from each box and put it in a basket and arrange everything so it looks perfectly deluxe. And when you're done with one, start another,” Mrs. McBee said while she made a glue blob on the front of a basket and stuck on flowers that look like daisies.
“Those are marguerites,” I told her. “I know because all the ladies in my family are named after flowers. I have an aunt named Marguerite. Also an aunt Pansy.”
Then I asked her, “How come the people at the Capitol Hill Home need baskets?”
“A gift basket can lift a person's spirits,” Mrs. McBee said.
“Why do they need to be lifted?” I asked her.
“A lot of the ladies and men at the home are a little lonely. They're retired from their jobs and their kids are grown and a lot of their friends have moved away,” Mrs. McBee said.
Jonique and I wanted to help the old people have lifted spirits. So we got to work. When we were done we had 26 baskets filled up.
“I thank you both. I'd have been at it all day without your fine help,” Mrs. McBee said.
That gave me a proud feeling. “The baskets are looking extremely gorgeous,” I said. “But I have to tell you, Mrs. McBee: I don't think shampoo is such a hot present.”
One thing about me is that I tell the truth.
Tonight I got an e-mail. It said, “Race car. Love, Dad.” I thought about that for quite a little while before I figured out that race car is a palindrome.
Then I wrote him back: “RADAR for your RACE CAR.”
“That's a great word!” he said.
“I am also collecting a vocabulary,” I said.
Then he wrote: “U R GR8.”
Then I wrote: “U R 2. How about a birthday adventure hint?”
Here's what he said: “Pack a glamorous outfit.”
FINALLY Parks & Rec opened which I say was about time because Jonique and I were ready to pop from waiting. She came over so early my mom was still in her sleeping shirt but I was dressed in orange spotted shorts and my blue Ann Arbor Aardvarks T-shirt and my red cowgirl boots and my yellow bandana that I don't leave home without. Even though my hair is on the short side I made it go into pigtails so my neck wouldn't roast because of it being 87 degrees outside.
“I have blue-flavored Froot-by-the-Foot for us,” Jonique said.
“That is extremely excellent to me because my mom says she will never buy it in this lifetime because of a lot of reasons including that it's blue,” I said.
“But I will give you girls juice boxes and hugs,” my mom said.
“Thank you,” Jonique said. She is one for good manners.
“Is Adam going?” my mom asked us. She does not believe in calling him Melonhead either. I tell her we can't help it.
“Nope. His mom is taking him to the Smithsonian to look at natural history for about the 99th time,” I said.
On the walk over Jonique said, “Don't tell Melonhead but I feel shy about going to Parks & Rec.”
“I won't tell because I am one who can keep a secret and he is one who can't,” I said. “But why are you shy?”
“My dad said we'll meet a lot of new kids,” Jonique said.
“Probably,” I said.
“Do you think they'll be older?” Jonique said.
“I think some will,” I said. “But don't you worry. I'm pretty much never shy on account of me being exuberant.”
“That's a great thing about you,” she said.
“Plus, when I met you I was a new kid,” I told her.
“You are the best new kid I ever met,” she said.
Which made me feel delightful.
But when we got there some of the kids WERE older and I was feeling NOT SO exuberant so we just stood there by the swinging gate until this teenager wearing a Parks & Rec T-shirt said, “Hi. I'm one of the counselors. My name is Trip.”
Which is one name I never heard of before.
I think he knew that because he said, “Trip is short for triple. My real name is Rayburn Pate the Third. After my dad and his dad.”
Jonique and I both think that people who are The Thirds are rich but Trip looks regular. “We are Lucy Rose and Jonique. The Firsts,” I said.
“Well, Lucy Rose and Jonique, we've got all kinds of stuff to do here,” he said. “How about I show you?”
He told us about Chinese checkers and regular checkers and basketball and pickup sticks and woodworking and crafts and mural painting and kickball and the whole time he was telling us all the girl teenagers were standing around looking at him and acting swoony. That's because he's handsome.
“We're here to weave a pot holder and to make a key chain out of Gimp,” I said. “It's called a lanyard.”
Here's what he said: “Cool.”
The crafts area is under the tallest tree that I think has the name of oak and on the supply table is every color Gimp you can dream of and it comes on spools that are all lined up like a giant pack of Life Savers. “Take your pick,” Trip told us.
“My pick is light blue and red,” I said.
Trip cut off 2 long Gimp strings and gave them to me. “Do you know how to do a box stitch?” he asked me.
“Nope,” I said. “Do you?”
Luckily for me he did know. He put a key clip on 2 loops of Gimp and showed me how to go over and under to make a square and you would not believe how fast he can do it.
“Thanks a mil,” I said. “That's short for thanks a million.”
“You're welcome a mil,” he said back.
He showed Jonique the big plastic box of pot holder loops. She picked light orange and lavender and celery because those are the colors of Mrs. McBee's dream kitchen that she wants to get one day. Then Trip pointed to a girl with yellow hair and a pink shirt who was sitting at the end of the crafts table. “That's Ashley,” he said. “She's 9 and she's just moved here.”
Jonique and I both made our most gigantic beaming smiles at her and said, “Hi, Ashley.”
She gave us a look that was not pleasing to see.
I said, “What are you making?”
“A pink and white double key chain necklace,” she said.
“That light color of pink is called Conch Shell,” I told her.
“Thanks a lot,” she said.
But she said it in a stinky voice.
Madam is having allergies because of the pollen which gets on her last nerve and makes Pop go around singing a song called “Summertime and the Living Is Sneezy.” He made it up himself.
First thing this morning my mom took down Periwinkle which she is crazy about but she said it's too much for that room which is not the biggest. “Same with Caribbean,” I said.
Then she threw away Cream. “Even though it's a safe choice it would never thrill me,” she said.
“Good, because I am one who would like to have thrilling walls,” I said.
When Jonique and I got to Parks & Rec Ashley was already at the crafts table. “I'll sit by you,” I said.
“I'm saving that space for somebody else,” she said.
“That's okay, I'll sit on your other side,” I told her.
“That's saved too,” she said.
Which left only 1 chair for 2 people but then a teenager with pierced ears called out, “We have space. Sit at our table.”
Ashley looked cranky at that. I don't know why.
We left after lunch because it was so roastingly hot that all we felt like doing was sweating. On the walk to my grandparents’ I told Jonique, “I feel sorry for Ashley because she saved those seats for her friends the whole day long. I bet they didn't come because of it being 92 degrees.”
“Probably so,” Jonique said.
Madam gave us limesicles to help with cooling down and we asked her if she needed help writing her “Dear Lucy Rose” column. She said another day she might. Pop was on the phone telling Uncle Mike about politics which is not a thing I like hearing about so I said, “Let's inspect Madam's closet.”
“I'm for that,” Jonique said.
The thing about Madam is her foot is puny for a grown-up and the thing about Jonique is her foot is gigantic for a kid. Jonique fits in Madam's shoes which is divine for her because Madam is shoe crazy and she doesn't care if we try on her shoes as long as we put them back so they match. I picked high heels that are made of light green straps and Jonique tried on shiny black ones. “We should practice walking down the steps because when we're older we'll probably have to do that, especially if we get a date,” Jonique said.
We did and that made me have the great idea that we should take a high heel walk to Grubb's drugstore. But by the time we got to A Street, Madam's shoes were flopping off of me. “I can't wait to get big feet,” I told Jonique.
It was worth the walking because Eddie the pharmacist told us, “You girls have got more style than New York City.”
When I got home I called my dad and told him what Eddie said and my dad told me, “Don't grow up too fast, my girl.”
I told him, “Don't you worry. I think I'm going to be short like Mom.”
After breakfast my mom and I looked at all our colors and she said: “It's deciding time. We're buying paint today.”
“I am a fan of Sage,” I said. “It's like our Ann Arbor family room.”
“Yes, but it's too dark for this room,” she said and took it down.
Then I did eeny-meenie and Lemon Meringue was going to win but at the last second I said “And you are it” to Conch Shell.
Then we were stuck because we also liked each other's color so we had to think about the sofa we don't have yet and that's when I said, “Banana Frappe is the color for us.”
“I think it is,” my mom said.
Madam and Pop came over early with paint rollers and a ladder and brushes. “Let the project begin,” Pop said.
My job was to put down the drop cloth so paint wouldn't wreck the wood floor. Then Pop got to work painting the ceiling white, which is the only color ceilings come in, I think. My mom gave me my own bucket of shiny white. She painted the high parts of the wood around the windows and I painted the bottoms and then she showed me how to do it so I don't get paint blobs. Madam climbed up the ladder to paint the pocket doors and then my mom painted the wood near the floor that's called baseboard. Pop and I did the window seat which is actually more like a long box under the windows that is completely not comfortable to sit on but opens like a trunk so you can hide things in it. We hide our snow boots.
Then Pop said, “Let's go bananas.”
“Bananas Frappe,” I said.
And we did. I got a turn with the roller and painted one wall as high as I could reach.
It took all day and some of the night to paint that room but when it was done it was gorgeous like you can't believe. “I feel good being in this room,” I said.
Madam said the color gives her the feeling of being relaxed. My mom said, “It makes me feel like this old house is really becoming our home.”
Pop said, “It makes me feel hungry.”
We were sitting on the drop cloth eating pizza when Madam and my mom figured out that the living room would be even better if it had bookshelves.
“I'll need a nap or two first,” Pop said.
I feel excited about that living room even though I have loyalty for our Ann Arbor living room. That means I'm devoted.
I am what Madam calls at sixes and sevens, which is odd for a person who is 8. Kidding. Sixes and sevens means when a person is not easy about something. Here is what I am not easy about: We have been having the separation from my dad ever since last July and now it is almost this July. Lately I have been thinking that could mean we are really going to get a divorce which is one idea I do not like at all.
Jonique and I skipped Parks & Rec because of Mrs. McBee needing us to help take the baskets over to the Capitol Hill Home. We rode in their minivan which has a sunroof that opens and cup holders plus a CD player so we could listen to Miss Aretha Franklin who is Mrs. McBee's all-time best singer and is called a DIVA.
We parked in front and Jonique and I carried every basket to the lobby. When she saw them Ms. Bazoo, who is the social director which means she has to be entertaining all the time, clapped her hands. Then she told Mrs. McBee, “I never knew anyone who had such a flair for decorating.”
I said, “Ms. Bazoo, if you want to see a flair you should see the McBees’ house.”
Ms. Bazoo laughed like she thought I was kidding. “I'm serious,” I told her. “They have the kind of bathrooms where everything matches and they have little towels for me when I'm a guest and soaps that are carved like swans. Plus freshener that you can spray all over that is called Gardenia. Also their upstairs sink faucet is golden.”
“My goodness, Lucy Rose. Let's not talk about my bathrooms,” Mrs. McBee said. Then she made me a wink.
Jonique and I made sure the men got the men baskets and the ladies got the lady baskets. “I would be extremely mortified if a man got fingernail polish,” I told Jonique.
“Word of the day?” Jonique asked me.
“It means I'd fall over from embarrassment,” I told her.
“I would too,” she said. “I'd be mortified to pieces.”
Here is the thing that made me shocked: Those ladies and men loved those gift baskets. And they were not just doing it to have good manners. Mrs. Flora Hennessy took every single thing out and smelled them and was so happy about getting a bottle of squirting soap and moisture cream. Jonique gave a basket to a man. He didn't say anything but he held it in his lap and smiled.
Going to that home made me feel good in my heart but I am telling you one thing, when I am old I hope people bring me Skittles.
I wrote my dad an e-mail and told him about our painting job and he said, “Sounds great.”
“Have you changed our house?” I asked him.
“No,” my dad wrote back.
“Good,” I said.
“The kitchen needs painting,” he wrote back.
“I want it to be the exact same color,” I said.
“Suits me,” he said.
“I would not like to go to Ann Arbor one day and see my house totally different,” I said. “Not even a little different.”
Jonique and I picked up Melonhead straightaway after breakfast but getting him going took quite a little while because he was in the middle of his mustache inspection which he thinks he can see but the truth is it's invisible. “What do you think?” he asked us.
I wondered what Pop would tell him. “Well, it's good you're trying,” I said.
When we got to Parks & Rec, Trip said, “Hey, Lucy Rose! How's your lanyard coming along?”
“Slowly, because of having to remember when to make the Gimp go over and when to make it go under,” I said.
“How far have you gotten?” he asked me.
“Counting the clip it's not even 3 inches long,” I said.
“It takes a while to get the hang of it,” he said.
“Pot holders are quicker,” Jonique said. “I finished my mom's and one for my granny and one for Madam. Now I'm doing a blue and white one for Lucy Rose's mom.”
Which I think is thoughtful in the extreme, even if those pot holders are not the best looking.
Melonhead started his lanyard this morning. It's blue and silver and after about 2 HOURS his box stitch was almost half as long as mine and I have to say, I feel jealous of that key chain.
Ashley came at lunchtime and started working on her key chain, which has a big loop on it so it can hang around her neck and is so cool. I was getting ready to ask her to show me how to make mine like hers when she said, “Do you wear those cowboy boots every single day, Lucy Rose?”
I thought this was a good thing since it showed she was TAKING AN INTEREST and MAKING AN EFFORT, which are 2 things Madam thinks are important. So I said, “Yep. Every day.”
Then Jonique made the comment of, “It is broilingly hot.”
So I said, “We can go put on our bathing suits and squirt each other with the hose in Madam and Pop's yard.”
Then I remembered what Madam says about including people so I said, “Ashley, you can come too.” And I made a friendly face to show I'm sincere, which means I truly mean it and is my word of the day.
“My aunt has a pool in her backyard. With a sliding board. And I can go to her house anytime I want,” Ashley said.
Later when Jonique and Melonhead and I were eating our Froot-by-the-Foot, we didn't share at all.
My dad e-mailed me: “1 clue 4 U: Bring your baseball bat.”
“A baseball bat and a fancy outfit?” I wrote to him.
He messaged back the word “Exactly.” This is odd to me.
Today I asked Madam, “Can we get a pool with a sliding board in your far backyard?”
She said, “No.”
And I said, “How come?”
“Because pools are expensive and keeping them clean is a lot of trouble,” she said.
“And we've already got a backyard full of trouble,” Pop said. “Madam is having a war with the squirrels and so far the squirrels are winning.”
“Why are you against squirrels?” I asked.
“They have a habit of picking our apricots, taking one bite and throwing them on the ground,” Madam said. “I don't mind sharing but I do mind waste and this one-bite thing is driving me nuts.”
“Clearly, it's time to call in the troops!” Pop said.
I said, “What troops?”
“You and Jonique and Melonhead are the troops,” he said.
“Adam,” Madam said to remind him about Melonhead's real name.
“I've given up,” Pop said. “Those squirrels have been outwitting me since before you were born.”
“What is outwitting?” I asked him.
“Whatever I try to do to keep them away they figure out a way around it,” he said.
“That is a good word of the day,” I told him.
Then I came up with my own outwit. “We should pick those apricots now so the squirrels can't get them,” I said.
“That won't work. They're still small and green, and small and green is no good for jam,” Madam said.
According to Pop, we need to keep the squirrels away until they are orangeish. The apricots, I mean, not the squirrels.
I gave Madam a hug around her middle. “Don't you worry,” I told her. “Jonique and Melonhead and I will think up a plan. And we will save those apricots.”
This is a big thing to be in charge of and so far I don't have one shred of a good idea.
Glamma mailed me a purse made of straw and inside that was a $5 BILL and note that said, “For the big adventure!”
When my mom got home we borrowed Madam and Pop's station wagon and took her overtime money to the lumberyard. We bought so much wood that it has to come by delivery.
Tonight my mom lay down on my bed with me and we looked at the glowing-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. “Remember I had those in my Ann Arbor room too?” I said.
“Do you miss Ann Arbor?” she asked me.
“Yep,” I told her. “Do you?”
“Sometimes,” she said.
Maybe that means she is not wanting a divorce.
The McBee family reunion starts tomorrow in Newport News, Virginia, and it will take the Washington, D.C., McBees at least 5 hours of driving to get there which is why at 7:30 AM in the morning my mom and I walked over to their house to wave them bon voyage, which is the French way to say good trip, according to Madam. When we got there, Mr. McBee was tying the suitcases to the minivan roof because all the room in the back was taken up by Jonique and Mrs. McBee's famous 3-layer sweet potato cakes with pecans and coconut icing. When I saw those cakes I said, “Mrs. McBee, you are a baking diva.”
“My mom made 7 cakes and that is 21 layers but really 22 because of the layer that got dropped,” Jonique said.
“That is an extremely lot of layers,” I said.
Then Mr. McBee told Jonique and her mom, “Hop in, gals. We've got places to go and relatives to see.”
Inside the car, every cake had its own cardboard box so it wouldn't get smooshed and the ones that were on the seats were buckled up for safety, just like the McBees.
“I told my parents we could camp out on this trip but they want to stay at Best Western,” Jonique said.
“That's still exciting,” I said.
“For sure because I get to sleep in a room with some girl cousins including 2 that are teenagers,” she said.
“I hope you have the time of your life,” I said.
Our whole living room is stacked with wood and where there's no wood there's Pop's giant saw that is electric. Madam didn't come with him because she had to give a speech to the M.O.T.H.s who are the Moms On The Hill. Even though my mom is a M.O.T.H. she stayed home to help make the bookcases.
“The rule is I'm the only person who is allowed to saw and when I do we all have to wear safety goggles,” Pop said.
“I'm wearing mine even when you're not sawing,” I said.
Then he said, “Lily, you do the nailing and Lucy Rose, your job is to squirt wood glue where I show you.”
Here is what I have to say about bookcase building: It takes longer than you would think and you have to measure a lot because if you are not exactly exact the whole thing will be crooked. Pop said he learned that the hard way.
By the time Madam came with peach ice cream from Gifford's we were done and delighted. My mom was so delighted she stayed up and painted the shelves white, by herself.
My dad sent me a letter with a picture of our dog and my dad is holding her paw so it looks like she is waving. I taped that picture on my wall. Now it is one of my best things that I own.
I e-mailed my dad a message that said, “That picture made me LOL.” That is a shortcut way to say Laugh Out Loud in e-mail language. Also it's a palindrome.
My mom and I walked to Eastern Market to buy fresh figs for Madam. I am not one for figs unless they are in Newtons but Mrs. Calamaris gave me 5 cherries for free. Madam calls that a little Lagniappe which is New Orleans for getting something extra. You say it like Lan-yap, which I say sounds like Madam and Pop's poodle Gumbo barking.
My mom said, “The shelves are dry so let's get cracking.” That means working so we put up all our books plus a statue of a porcupine that was made by me in Pre-K. Then my mom rushed to work and I went to Congress Market with Pop.
This is the story of last night only I am writing it at 7:30 AM in the morning today. Yesterday one of Pop's cross words was anxiety. Pop says that's the feeling of being a little nervous and a little scared. I say anxiety is a good word for me to know because lately I have it.
I think a lot of the people who write to “Dear Lucy Rose” have anxiety so I figured Madam is probably good at fixing it. I decided to get her to fix mine when I was spending last night. But then we had to get dinner on the table by 6 o'clock sharp because of Pop needing to watch a PBS show about people that live in Peru. Plus I had the job of making salad and I was so busy tearing up lettuce that I forgot about my anxiety until it was night and I could not sleep. That made me have it more. I was going to call my mom but when she's working the overnight shift, she's busy every second making pictures for Good Sports Starring Jack Denvir who used to be a famous football player before he was a TV star and Mr. McBee thinks he is the greatest quarterback ever, whatever that means.
I creeped into Madam and Pop's room and climbed up on the footstool and looked at Madam lying in their high-off-the-floor 4-poster bed. I couldn't tell if she was sleeping or just kind of resting in the dark. So I took my fingers and very gently pushed up her eyelids. Then Madam screamed like anything and I screamed from shock and Pop woke up and shouted, “Is someone hurt?”
“My goodness, Lucy Rose! You scared me,” Madam said very breathy like.
Then Pop looked at the glowing clock and said, “It's one-thirty-seven in the morning.”
Then Gumbo went frantic and took a flying jump up on their bed and landed on Pop's stomach and Pop made the noise of “Onhhggffaa!” and that made Gumbo feel nervous so he started barking his poodle head off and dancing around on top of Madam and getting his legs tangled up in the bedspread and he got dog drool on Madam's head. And Madam made the noise of “Yetch!” And then Pop turned on the light and everybody was looking at me, even the dog.
“What is it, Lucy Rose?” Madam said.
“I've got anxiety,” I told her.
“How long have you had it?” Madam asked me.
“About 4 days or more,” I told her.
“Is there a chance your anxiety could wait until the morning?” Madam asked. “I'm better at problem solving when it's light outside.”
I thought about that and said, “Well, probably it could.”
“Great,” Madam said. “We'll talk at breakfast.”
“I think my anxiety would be a little better if I slept on the chaise in your room instead of in my bed down the hall,” I said.
“That's fine,” Madam said.
“Maybe we could all get up and watch a little television?” I said. “That would help with relaxing.”
“No,” Madam said.
I dragged my quilt to their room and lay down on the chaise and let me tell you, Pop is one person who snores.
Now I am awake and they are asleep but I don't think it's the best idea to wake them up again so I am lying around writing in this red journal of mine. One thing I am noticing is this book is lasting longer. That is because my letters don't take up so much space now that I am going into 4th grade.
Madam and Pop were sleeping their heads off until 8:30 AM in the morning but finally they got up and got going, but slowly. Madam is a believer in hygiene so she can't do one thing until she is fresh from a shower and dressed for the day plus she has to put on lipstick because she used to live in New Orleans and no lady that lives in that city would think about going outside with plain lips, so now she has the habit.
After all that we went downstairs and Madam fixed a bowl of berries and Pop got out granola which I love and yogurt which I don't. Then Madam said, “Lucy Rose, how is your anxiety?”
“It comes and goes but it's been coming a lot lately,” I said.
“What is it about?” Pop said.
“Divorce,” I said. “I think we might be getting one.”
“And?” Madam said.
“And that would be P-U,” I said. Then I started to cry.
Pop told me to sit by him and I did and he smoothed my hair which is one thing that always makes me feel better. “Your mom and dad have been separated for a long time,” he said.
“That's not the same as a divorce,” I told him.
“Thinking about divorce is hard,” Madam said.
“Hard like you can't believe,” I told her.
“Why don't you ask your mom about it?” Pop said.
“I thought of that but then I thought what if she isn't thinking about divorce? I don't want to give her the idea,” I said.
“I find that knowing what's going to happen is less scary than guessing what's going to happen,” Madam said.
When we were putting our bowls in the dishwasher Madam said, “Lucy Rose, do you want to know what I tell my readers who ask me about how to help their anxiety?”
“Is it talking about my feelings?” I asked her. Because I was not in the mood for that advice.
“I tell them that sometimes the best way to stop worrying about yourself is to help somebody else,” she said.
Doubt it.
Jonique got back and came over first thing and brought me a shirt that I love. It says MCBEE FAMILY REUNION on the front.
“Was it fun?” I asked her.
“So much fun because 112 McBees came and about 50 of them were kids,” she said.
“Was the Best Western really the best?” I asked her.
“It was a dream. You get an ice bucket in your room and you can take it down the hall to where they have a machine and you can help yourself to all the ice you want,” she said.
“Those are the best kind,” I told her.
I have a lot of hotel experience from when my dad visits.
Today Trip showed me how to make my lanyard smooth by pulling the Gimp evenly. “That's bon, Voyage,” I told him.
I could tell that he doesn't know French because he just said, “What?”
I had to explain that I was saying, “That's good, Trip.”
I worked all the livelong day trying to make that Gimp get flat and was going crazy from frustration. One thing I do not have a flair for is Gimp. Melon-head is done with his lanyard. And Jonique is starting a Gimp bracelet because she is bored of pot holders. Ashley finished her key chain yesterday and she is wearing it today and acting braggy like you can't believe.
Today she didn't talk to us hardly at all except to point at Melonhead and say, “How come he keeps petting his lip?”
