ONCE, SIOBHAN HAD BELIEVED in the intangible things, in love and magic. The falling snow was one of the few magical things she hadn’t outgrown. The short time between when snow covered the world with a fresh, clean blanket of white and the time the mud and the salt discolored it was a time of possibilities.
Possibilities that always ended up ruined and muddied. Siobhan’s car added to the mud, soiling the perfection of the fresh layer of snow. The temperatures were predicted to rise so that by the end of the day, the snow would take on a gray, slushy appearance.
Siobhan parked in the hospital garage and rode the elevator up, but when she arrived at the administrative offices, she paused by the windows that lined the hallway overlooking Edgarville. When had her outlook become so gray and slushy? She continued to her office.
When she settled at her desk, she opened PHM on her computer, ready to check the progress of her patients.
“Siobhan?” Duncan Phelps came into focus over the top of her monitor. “Listen, I wanted to make sure our date the other night didn’t make you uncomfortable. I meant it when I said no strings. Are we okay?”
Was he angling for another date? She’d have to choose her words carefully, remind him that she wasn’t interested without getting herself fired. “Of course. And I hope I didn’t offend you. I tend to be too straightforward sometimes.”
“No, I appreciate your candor.”
Then why was he worried about their relationship?
The phone on Siobhan’s desk rang and she held up a finger. Kevin greeted her when she answered.
“Hey, have you ever heard the name Ketterhagen? From when we were kids?” he asked. “Luke, or Levi?”
“Luke Ketterhagen?” she repeated, shaking her head. “No, I don’t recall that name.”
“How about Mason? Luke Mason?”
“Should I know him?”
“Probably not. I’m going to call Ma. She might know. They would be her generation, anyway. Thought I’d give it a try, though. You knew a lot of guys when we were in school.”
Heat rose up Siobhan’s neck. Yeah, she knew a lot of guys, and there were lots of them whose names she didn’t remember. Not the best time of her life. “Why are you looking for him?” she asked.
“The ghost told Amy his name last night.”
“Did you say Luke Ketterhagen?” Duncan asked.
Siobhan shot him a glance. “Hang on a sec, Kevin.” She put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Do you know him?”
“I did, when I was in grade school. I haven’t heard his name in years. His family moved away sometime around fifth grade.”
“Moved away?” Which meant he wasn’t a ghost, wasn’t dead.
“Yeah. Always wondered what happened to him. He was a twin. Luke and Levi. I think their stepdad’s last name was Mason.”
Siobhan held up a finger to him again. “Kevin, one of my bosses says he knew them. Twins? He says they moved away.”
Kevin’s voice grew excited. “Can I talk to him? Your boss?”
“He wants to talk to you,” Siobhan told Duncan. “My brother. He’s a reporter and he’s chasing a story.” At least she hoped he’d frame the question as a story instead of asking about a ghost.
Duncan took the phone and Siobhan folded her arms.
“Yeah,” Duncan said. “We went to school together,” he repeated for Kevin’s sake. “They moved away during grade school. Fifth grade? The twins went to stay with their father while their mom and stepdad packed up the house. I remember thinking that was odd. Their real dad wasn’t around much, so I had assumed he’d died.” He paused. “No, we didn’t keep in touch. Ten-year-old boys, you know? School friends, but that was about it.” He nodded again. “Sure. Anytime. Just let Siobhan know and she’ll get in touch with me.” Duncan handed the phone to her with a smile.
“Talk to you later then?” she said to Kevin.
“Yep. Tell your boss thanks again.”
“Will do.” She hung up the phone and forced a smile for Duncan. “Sorry about that.”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have eavesdropped on your phone call.”
Why was he still lurking around her desk? But he’d apparently helped Kevin by doing so. “I’m glad you did. Seems like you’ve resolved a lead he was chasing.”
“Wish I could have been more help.” He put one hand on her desk. “This is the brother with the very nice fiancée?”
“Yeah.”
Duncan smiled. “I’m sure it’s nice to have your family nearby. I guess you’ll be spending Thanksgiving with them?”
“Yes, everybody still lives here. What about you? Is your family close by?”
He shrugged. “No. Since the divorce, I don’t have anyone to spend the holiday with.”
There it was. The reason he was worried about offending her. The reason he was lurking. Duncan Phelps was lonely. Her nursing gene kicked in again. Why did she feel the need to take care of everybody?
What harm could it do to invite him to Ma’s? One more mouth to feed wouldn’t make much difference. “If you want a home-cooked meal, I’m sure my Ma wouldn’t mind setting an extra place. Not a date,” she emphasized, “and not meet the family. Somewhere to go if you want to be with people.”
He gave her a sheepish smile. “Understood. And I’m just lonely enough to take you up on that. You sure she won’t mind?”
“I’ll call her at lunchtime to confirm.”
“You’ll let me know if it’s a problem?”
“I’m sure it will be fine,” Siobhan said.
Duncan retreated to his office and Siobhan reached for her phone, then thought better of it. She’d stop by Ma’s after work. Jared, another of her strays, didn’t have physical therapy today. She wasn’t committed to either the animal shelter or the assisted living facility until after the holiday, so she had plenty of time to help her mother prepare. As if her mother needed help.
Was Jared’s family coming north to be with him for Thanksgiving? He hadn’t mentioned anything. She’d have to remember to ask him. Even if she couldn’t invite him to her mother’s now that she’d invited Duncan—one stray was enough—she could take Jared a plate of food.
And watch him eat.
And listen to him talk.
All by herself, without the interruption of family.
Siobhan shook her head. Romance novel hero. That’s what Kevin had called him, and then he’d had the gall to say Amy wouldn’t be attracted to Jared. A man with a handsome, if slightly scarred, face, a voice that sent ripples of pleasure to her core. That didn’t mean she was falling in love with him. What she felt for him was easily dismissed as a chemical response. The days of indulging her hormones were long gone, and yet she didn’t trust herself around him.
Not for the first time, Siobhan was glad Jared was currently disabled.
If she transferred to another position, he wouldn’t be her patient anymore.
If she transferred to another position, she wouldn’t have to feel awkward around Duncan Phelps every day.
Siobhan checked the human resources portal on her computer and browsed the open positions. ER nurse. Pediatrics. Operating room. All positions she’d filled before, and all of them demanding roles. She missed working with patients, but she liked the regular schedule she had in administration.
Clinical faculty. As a nurse educator, she’d have the best of both worlds. Couldn’t hurt to apply. She had the requisite experience and education. If, by some chance, she was offered the job, she could decide then if she wanted to make the change. The more she thought about it, the more the idea appealed to her.
She filled in the application and then, content that she’d done something to resolve her current situation, focused her attention on the job she had.
By the end of the day, as expected, most of the snow had melted away. Siobhan drove straight to her mother’s. Even after all these years, walking up to the door filled her with the dread of meeting her father in a foul mood.
Da had been gone almost as long as she had, but the memories lingered on.
Siobhan put a hand on the doorknob and hesitated, suddenly unsure of etiquette. This was the home she’d grown up in. She’d never had to knock when she entered, but she didn’t live here anymore. Should she knock? Kevin’s apartment had felt like home, but he’d expected—and deserved—that courtesy.
“What you waiting for?” Liam asked, barreling past her and through the door. “An invitation?”
Siobhan smiled. Nothing like a little brother to put things into perspective. “Waiting for you, slowpoke,” she said.
He shrugged a duffle bag off his shoulder and went to the refrigerator as Ma walked into the kitchen.
“Siobhan, I wasn’t expecting you. Are you staying for dinner?” Ma said.
Siobhan looked past her mother, into the living room beyond. Was Da in the study? Would Ma disappear?
Da wasn’t here, but the ghosts remained. Were these the ghosts Amy saw?
“I stopped to ask if it would be okay to invite a friend for Thanksgiving,” she said. “One of the doctors at work is alone and I thought he might appreciate being with family, even someone else’s.”
“A new beau, then?” Ma asked, her eyes sparkling.
“No,” Siobhan told her. “Nothing like that.”
“Lord knows we’ll have plenty of food. Of course this doctor friend of yours is welcome.” Ma gave her a hug. “Still bringing home the strays, like that cat in the basement.”
The cat. She’d meant to keep it hidden for a day or two, and then one cat became five and Ma had discovered her secret. “I didn’t know the cat was pregnant,” Siobhan said.
Ma squeezed her arm. “And your Da never found out, not about the cat nor the kittens.”
Reminding Siobhan once again that she’d misplaced her anger when she’d left home. Ma was as much a victim of her father’s wrath as she was. “How did you live with it? All those years?” Siobhan whispered.
“I had the five of ye to worry about, didn’t I? Even after he left, I wondered how I’d manage, but by then he wasn’t bringing home enough to feed us all anyway.” Ma smiled and turned away. “The Lord provides. I should have trusted in Him sooner.”
Faith. Like Amy had pointed out. Everyone believed in something, and that didn’t make the rest of the world wrong in what they believed. For too long, Siobhan had only herself to believe in.
~ ~ ~
Too many hours with nothing to do provided Jared ample time to finish the first set of chess pieces. He’d done an Internet search on Levi Ketterhagen, but he’d hit a dead end. No Facebook page, no Twitter account, no mention of him anywhere.
Jared turned on the television and flipped through the channels looking for something to capture his interest before he gave up, frustrated.
What he wanted was to see Siobhan’s beautiful face, looking at him across the chess board, teasing him. He’d fallen asleep when she’d brought him home yesterday, and she’d left without saying goodbye. Their conversation last night had been distracted, on his end because of what he’d learned from Amy. How much had Amy told Siobhan?
Jared rose from his seat, gripped his crutches and limped into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator looking for the last of his mother’s casseroles, the one he’d eaten at lunch. He checked the freezer, also empty. Time to call for a pizza.
He returned to his chair, picked up his cell phone and called…
Siobhan.
“I ran out of food,” he told her when she answered, choosing to appeal to her nurse’s sensibilities. “If you bring me dinner, I’ll pay you for it. And then I thought you might like to stay for a game of chess.”
“It’s your lucky day,” she replied. “If you make me a grocery list, I can run out after dinner. But the chess game…”
“You afraid I’ll beat you again?”
She hesitated, then another breath told him she hesitated again. “I have to be honest. I’m uncomfortable with the flirting.” Her voice grew hushed. “And the kissing.”
Bullshit. Jared did his best not to call her out on the lie. The chemistry between them was white hot, which reinforced his original opinion that she didn’t trust herself. Did he want to push her? Hell yeah, but there was more to Siobhan McCormick. She was the kind of woman he wanted to sit on the porch with. Hold hands with. Watch the sun set, or the snow fall.
He’d also seen her jump to a challenge. “I’ll behave myself if you will.”
She huffed and then asked, “What do you want to eat?”
“I’ll have to trust you,” he said. “I’m not from around here.”
“What do you like?”
“Everything.”
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” she told him.
“I’ll leave the door unlocked,” he replied.
“Is that your doctor friend?” another woman asked in the background. “You can invite him for dinner tonight if you want.”
“No, Ma,” Siobhan replied. “It’s someone else.”
Doctor friend?
“See you soon,” Siobhan told him, and hung up.
He knew Siobhan was attracted to him. He’d heard it in her voice, saw it in her eyes. Hell, she’d made it clear when she’d kissed him. Why was she setting boundaries? His injuries should be proof enough he wasn’t a threat to her.
Jared rubbed a hand across two days’ growth of beard, then lifted an arm to sniff for body odor. If he had thirty minutes, he might do well to clean up.
Doctor friend?
He hopped to the bathroom, then lowered his second foot to the floor as he set one crutch against the wall and prepared for the shot of pain. The physical therapy must be working, because he was able to balance himself on the bad leg, as long as he didn’t put too much weight on it.
He used his free hand to lather his face, then picked up his razor. Activities of Daily Living, ADLs they called them. Caring for himself. They wouldn’t release him from rehab until he could show he was capable of doing ADLs. He could. That didn’t make it easy. Every day seemed to bring him more strength. Two days ago, he hadn’t been able to put his left foot on the floor. He should be able to give up the crutches altogether before long, surely before Christmas.
Ridges of shaving cream lingered along his jaw line. Jared scraped them away once more, then wiped his face with a washcloth. He might be clean shaven, but the bruises from the accident lingered, and the scar that puckered his eyebrow was still fresh. He was a sight. Battle wounds, Siobhan had called them, and he’d won the battle. He wanted Siobhan as his prize. A woman that feisty shouldn’t be afraid of anything, but she was most definitely afraid of getting too close. Someone had left his mark on her.
Jared met his eyes in the mirror. Was he fooling himself? Siobhan had a doctor friend. What vanity for Jared to believe he had to crack her shell when she might be involved with someone else and perfectly happy.
Except she’d kissed him. Like no one and nothing else. Not the way someone who was perfectly happy elsewhere should kiss a stranger. He wasn’t alone in this fascination they shared.
A car door closed outside. Jared reached for his second crutch and started for the living room, then stopped when Luke appeared before him.
“Can you help me find my brother?”
Jared grimaced. “Not tonight, kid.”
The ghost flew into the air and circled the living room. Surprised, Jared lost his balance and fell on the hardwood floor in the hallway. Pain shot through his pelvis, creating white streaks at the edge of his vision. If he didn’t pass out, he just might vomit.