A mountain stream is
Always beautiful. Alas,
It is always cold!
My sleep was not pleasant.
I thought that I began to dream immediately. Of course, it may not have been so. Just as Callum always insisted he was not asleep when I dug my elbow in his ribs to stop him snoring, I may have been deceived by the passage of time.
In any event, my dreams were deeply unsettling. They were of that peculiarly vivid kind, where one is quite sure that one is awake, and not dreaming at all. That, I think, made things far worse. I was back on Willow Road, but not in the Green Tea House. I was in the Hidden House.
I flitted down the corridor noiselessly. The lamps had been extinguished for the night, but there was a half-moon to give brightness and I did not stumble. I knew that the geisha in the Hidden House entertained late into the night. It was deathly silent, so I thought that morning must be preparing to intrude on the darkness.
Only my own light breathing disturbed the silence until I heard a noise coming toward me. An even rhythm of bare feet, pattering down the corridor. A man’s stride, firm and assured.
Big was walking quietly toward me. He stopped almost close enough to touch me, turning from side to side and glancing around. He seemed puzzled. I could not stop myself. I took the single step that took me in front of him. Still he didn’t see me. His eyes turned this way and that, obviously seeking something he could not find.
“I am here, Big. Terue. I have come back. Do you remember me?”
I spoke clearly, but he appeared not to hear me. His handsome face creased into a frown and I saw there were deep wrinkles at each side of his eyes. His mouth was downturned and sulky. He was no longer a young man, and not as beautiful as he had been when I had seen him last. I rejoiced in that knowledge.
“Can’t you hear me? See me?”
Big rubbed his ears as if he was being annoyed by a mosquito. I could take no more. I darted forward and pounded my clenched fists on his chest as hard as I could. But he clearly felt nothing.
He muttered something I couldn’t make out, and then turned and left. There came a soft current of air from the closing of the door, and it felt as violent as if somebody had dashed cold water in my face.
“Tara. Tara, wake up. You’ve been having a nightmare. It’s me, Callum.”
I stopped pounding my fists on the suddenly substantial body at the side of me, and let my breath go in a hiss.
“Are you awake now?”
For a hazy moment, I had no idea where I was. “I was in the Hidden House. I saw Big!” I blurted.
“Just a dream.” Callum rocked me back and forth as if I was a distressed child. “You’re awake now. Don’t worry.”
“But it was so very real!” I was still only half convinced. Callum lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each fingertip very gently.
“See? You’re here. With me.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “If we ever enjoy Akira’s hospitality again, remind me not to drink so much sake. I was so deeply asleep I thought I was dreaming myself when I heard you shouting.”
“What was I saying?” I asked curiously.
“You were yelling ‘I’ll kill you’ over and over again.”
“Ah. The last thing I remember in my dream was Big standing in front of me. I wanted to kill him for what he’d done to Kazhua.”
I suddenly felt bewildered and lost. I held my arms out to Callum like a child demanding comfort.
“Just a bad dream,” he soothed softly. He slid his arms around me and held me against his body. After the humid heat of the day, the night felt chilled and I was grateful for the heat of his body. Suddenly, cuddles were not enough.
“Please.” Just one word, but I heard the longing in my voice clearly. To my deep relief, Callum clearly understood.
He kissed my cheek and then moved his mouth down to my lips. I was deeply aroused instantly. I bit his lips, hard, and he jerked back in surprise. I took myself out of his arms and flung myself back on the futon, my arms and legs splayed wide in invitation. I stared at him in the moonlight, watching the play of shadow and light across his face. I almost screamed in frustration as he simply stared at me in obvious surprise. I grabbed his hand and forced it down to my black moss. His eyes widened as his fingers immediately found my slippery wetness.
He needed no further enticing. I could hear the even pattern of his breathing become ragged. He slid his first finger up and down the entrance to my sex and I thrust against him, instantly wanting more. Callum took his hand away and licked his finger deliberately and then smiled. His expression seemed almost wolfish in the silver light. I shivered, although whether in anticipation or fear I could not decide myself.
“Callum.” I whispered his name. He paused for a second, then nodded as if he had made his mind up. He moved across me fluidly, balancing on his hands. It seemed to me as if his tree of flesh had a sense of purpose all of its own. Without any need for guidance, it slid down my black moss and nuzzled at my entrance like an animal searching for the entrance to its burrow. At any other time, the comparison would have made me giggle, but not tonight. Tonight, I needed Callum in a way that was alien to me. There was no love in it at all. Nothing but naked desire.
In the moment it took before his tree pierced me, I had a sudden, shocking thought. This was Callum, my husband. The man I loved. Yet at that very moment, I would not have cared who was about to take me, as long as they could satisfy the overwhelming need that raged through my body. Would I have accepted Akira if by some strange alchemy it had been him with me and not Callum? Before the red mist of longing took me utterly, I acknowledged the answer. And I did not like it.
Callum slid into me as if I had been oiled. I thrust up against him frantically, trying to force the very last fraction of him inside me. I raised my head and bit hard at Callum’s shoulder. I tasted his blood on my lips and I bared my teeth with ferocious delight. Glancing at his face, I saw his lips drawn back in a feral grimace. His face was so distorted, I barely recognized him. He leaned down and bit at my lips as if he was intent on paying me back for the hurt I had inflicted on him. As soon as he took his mouth away, I laughed out loud, rejoicing in the pain I had given and taken.
He rolled against my belly, turning and twisting sensuously. I grabbed his arms and used them to lever myself up. I rubbed against him in my turn like a cat in heat. My yonaki began to build, deep in my belly. I kept my eyes wide open, intent on watching Callum’s expression. His pupils were huge, his mouth hanging ajar. A thread of spittle, silver in the moonlight, flicked the side of his lips. I licked it away with the very tip of my tongue and laughed as I heard him groan.
I knew he was close to bursting his fruit. Too soon! I slid away from him very slightly. And then back. It was only when I could stand it no longer that I allowed him to dictate the rhythm. He thrust at me as if I was flesh without soul, and I suddenly understood that we were still deeply in tune with each other. Just as I was using Callum, so was he using my body to find his own satisfaction. At that moment, we were no more than two animals, rutting mindlessly.
And it was glorious.
Callum burst his fruit a second after my own yonaki made my body shudder. My toes clenched beneath my feet and my back arched. I opened my mouth wide, but no sound came out. My yonaki was all the more intense as I watched Callum’s face intently all the time and understood that his need mirrored mine.
My yonaki seemed to leave echoes that made my whole body tremble. I lay beside Callum and he drew the kakebuton tenderly across me. Neither of us spoke for a long time. So long that I thought he had fallen asleep and I was startled when he spoke.
“No more bad dreams, Tara,” he said softly. “There’s no need for them. Not now. Not ever.”
“I haven’t the power to control my dreams,” I protested, although I understood perfectly that was not what he meant.
He sat up and stretched. “It’s nearly dawn. The birds have started to sing. Noisy creatures! We would have been getting up soon anyway. Do you want to talk about last night?”
“You mean what happened at the Green Tea House?”
“Well, I was thinking of that. But if you would rather talk about what came after…?”
“Idiot,” I retorted. “I can’t really explain it, but all the time we spent at the Green Tea House just felt wrong to me.”
“I felt the same.” Callum nodded. “Akira was obviously interested in you, which wasn’t in the least surprising. I expected him to be angry that you were there in the first place, but he wasn’t, and I got the impression he expected you. And I thought the geisha seemed on edge as well.”
He had picked up on it then. I was relieved. I had begun to think I had imagined it.
“Exactly,” I agreed. “In fact, I felt as if Akira knew all about us. Did you notice he didn’t ask a single question about what we were doing in the Floating World, where we had come from, nothing at all? I would have expected him to be full of questions. It would have been done very politely and subtly, of course, but he didn’t ask anything at all.” Something occurred to me suddenly, and I gasped with surprise. “He knew I came from Kagoshima! Do you remember him saying he had never been there?”
“Perhaps Mountjoy mentioned it to him,” Callum said uneasily.
“Perhaps. I don’t like Akira. Chiyô’s obviously terrified of him.” I frowned. “And I don’t trust him. And I’m not at all sure I trust your friend Mountjoy. I think he’s sly.”
“Oh, he’s all right. He’s just trying to be friends with everybody.”
“Maybe. Oh, never mind. Where do we go from here? We know Kazhua’s disappeared, and so has Danjuro. The kabuki’s burned down, so there’s no clue there. All we’ve got so far is gossip, nothing solid to go on at all. Akira was our last hope.”
I felt deeply depressed. The quest that had started so full of joy and hope seemed to have dwindled to a futile dream.
“We’ve found out more than you’re giving us credit for,” Callum said. “We know that both Kazhua and her lover have fled Edo. If they have left Japan, logically they would have made for Shanghai. It’s the nearest point to Japan in a foreign country. We know she hasn’t been there or my parents would have heard about it. So I’m certain she must still be in Japan somewhere, and not between Edo and Kagoshima, or we would have heard talk about it.”
I started to laugh.
“Why is everything so easy when you talk about it, Callum?” I demanded. “There’s an awful lot more to Japan than the distance between Edo and Kagoshima. They might even be hiding in the far islands, where nobody from the civilized parts of Japan would even think about visiting.”
“So, we keep looking.” Callum smiled. “We stay in Edo. Keep asking innocent questions. Somebody must know what happened to them. If we spread enough tea money about, we’ll get our answer.”
“We need to be careful,” I said firmly. “The more questions we ask, the more we’re going to arouse suspicion. And there’s always the chance that Auntie and Big will arrive back. I have no wish to meet either of them.”
“Understood. But last night Akira apologized for Auntie not being there. He assured me that I would have found her a fascinating woman.” Callum smiled at my incredulous expression. “He said that she was expected to be gone for a good while. She has a number of villages to visit, a long way from Edo”
“Don’t you think that’s odd? Why should he bother telling you that?”
Callum looked as uneasy as I felt. “I never thought of that.” He frowned. “I think perhaps it might be better if we both kept as far away from Akira as we possibly can.”
“Amen to that!” I agreed instantly.