Jonah spends most of Thursday in his part of the house, but I see him from time to time. He pads out in his socks, looks us over, goes back again. There is none of the usual hearty encouragement. None of the beaming smiles. I come to know a particular muscle in his jaw that jumps and quivers, like a burrowing insect under his skin.
I am the one who sees that he is fighting something, and I am the one who knows that if he loses, we lose, too.
Kendall is a reluctant ally, but she is an ally. I move fast before she has a chance to change her mind. I tell her we have to talk to the other kids one by one. Except for Torie and Jeff. Kendall says darkly that they’ll never agree, but I just tell her to leave them to me. I just wish I knew what I was going to say to them. The thing is, if they’re against it, the plan won’t work. They’ll see what’s up and stop us before I can get it rolling.
We get Dan and Hank to go along by tackling them separately and telling each of them the other one didn’t want to go along with the plan. So they both agree. Hank is proud because he has the important role to play. Dan thinks maybe going back to live at his grandmother’s house isn’t so bad after all, because she has a pool.
I find Tate watching a DVD of some suspense movie. He keeps freezing a frame, then pressing PLAY, then freezing it again. I stop by his chair. Tate is the one boy here who gives off waves of disturbance. His gaze is brittle and hard. I see hurt in his past, deep hurt, starting with him in a crib, and a father standing over him, shouting. I don’t want to see what else is there.
I don’t want to see anything I’ve seen inside these kids. I don’t want to see the misery and the neglect. I don’t want to think about what I’m sending them back to. I just want them to live.
I tell Tate what I think is in Jonah’s head. I don’t know if he’s listening, or if he cares. He stares at the movie, flicking the PAUSE button on and off.
I know better than to try to convince him. I just lay it out.
“Know what God does?” he says. “He sticks it to you. That’s what my dad used to say. It’s our job to take it and shut up.”
I know something about Tate. I’ve seen how he watches Kendall. I don’t want to know what he’s thinking. It’s another reason to get Kendall out of here. In the meantime, I’ll use it.
“Kendall is with me on this,” I say. “She thinks we can’t do it without you.”
I watch his thumb hover over the remote. It hits PLAY.
“Okay,” he says.
Maudie and Eli agree because we’re older and bigger and seem to know what we’re talking about. Eli is used to being told what to do, and Maudie is afraid of being left behind.
It is Ruthanna who surprises me. When I tell her I have a plan to get us all out of here, I don’t have to say another word. She lifts her head, her lank hair hanging in her eyes, and says, “My name is Erin. And I’ll help.”
It is Emily who is the problem. She listens to me lay out the plan, her face a blank.
“No,” she says when I finish.
“But Emily…”
“He’ll kill us,” she says.
I exchange a look with Kendall.
“We’ll protect you,” I say.
“Easy to say. It’s not you he wants.”
Finally, I say the only thing I can say. “It’s all decided. Everyone else has agreed. You’ll be safer going along with us.”
She looks at me, her face full of fear. But at least it isn’t that blankness.
She doesn’t say no.
So I take it as a yes.