Gatwick airport was crammed full of passengers all trying to beat the system by getting cheap flights despite the extremely antisocial hour of the morning. Lucy was beginning to regret her decision not to fly with British Airways and pay the extra few hundred pounds that would have given them another couple of hours in bed. She watched Alex as they edged their way forward in the check-in line, looking for any clues or unusual behaviour that might betray his nerves. She wondered where he had hidden the ring, in his check-in bag or somewhere on his person? Would he have bought insurance, she thought to herself, in case something happened to it or to his bag. She couldn’t bear the thought. She tried to stop herself from acting weirdly around him, telling herself that it was vital that she behaved completely as normal. Her nerves were on edge and she knew that they would be until the moment he asked her. But, she told herself, there will be a time and a place for the proposal, and the check-in queue at Gatwick airport was certainly not that.
As the plane took off, she gave Alex her blow-up pillow, noticing that the bags under his eyes were really pronounced. He must be exhausted, she thought. He had been working increasingly later and later into the evenings recently, seeming very stressed whenever he got home. He was being very quiet too, which was unlike him. If she hadn’t have found the ring she might have been quite concerned as to whether or not everything was okay between them. She was thankful that they would have a whole week in Sicily with nothing to do but sleep and relax, thinking that would be exactly what the doctor ordered to restore Alex to his former self.
Settling back into her seat with a new book, she looked out of the window as the plane took off. She watched as the city disappeared beneath her, the familiar patchwork of mustard brown and green fields stretching out like a quilt as far as the eye could see. After only a couple of hours she looked out of the window once again to see crystal blue water shimmering beneath them and the majestic Mount Etna towering ahead as they began their descent.
The Sicilian farmhouse they stayed in was a dream. The owners Anna and Fede were as charming as could be, they didn’t speak much English but, between the four of them and with lots of sign language, they managed to communicate quite well. They gave them bikes to use during their stay and Alex and Lucy explored the local area both on foot and on bicycle. They drove to different local beaches every day in their little hire car, each one glistening with golden sand, the sea sparkling turquoise. They ate mouth-watering pizzas with fresh basil, tomatoes and mozzarella, tasty concoctions of pasta and gnocchi, gelati of every different flavour under the sun. They went for walks along the coastal paths and lay in the sun, relishing the heat as it beat down on their bodies. Alex slept endlessly, on the beach, in the hammock and in bed. He would fall asleep the minute his head touched the pillow and Lucy would watch him as she lay awake, so handsome and so peaceful in his slumber, grateful that he had the chance to catch up on some sleep and hoping that he would recover some of his usual energy soon.
Her heart had jumped into her mouth on several occasions at the start of the week: as their drinks had been served in a little trattoria on their first evening, as they had reached the top of a hill on a bike ride with a panoramic view stretching out beneath them. But nothing had happened. It became obvious to Lucy that he was planning on proposing at the end of the week, on the last night perhaps. She had been pleased with his thoughtfulness, knowing that she would want to celebrate immediately with her nearest and dearest and that that would be possible the very next day as soon as they landed back home. Her nerves were still a quivering wreck, but she now had them at least slightly under control. A slow countdown to the end of the week ticked in her head as though emblazoned in neon lights around her.
On the last day of their holiday they sat on the beach watching the evening sun make its lazy descent onto the rolling waves, turning them into molten, liquid gold. The sand felt warm from the heat of the day as it nestled between her toes. She could taste salt and sun cream on her lips, her skin radiated with heat. As the sun began to set she knew that this would be the moment. She snatched a glance at Alex, he looked lost in thought. She had heard enough engagement stories from her friends to know to expect odd behaviour from their other half in the run up to popping the question. She had thought that Alex would be able to handle it better than this! He must be crippled with nerves, she decided. She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, mentally willing him on. She couldn’t take it any longer.
He turned to face her and said, ‘It’s such a beautiful sunset, isn’t it?’
Lucy smiled at him, trying to stop herself from welling up with emotion. ‘It really is.’
‘It’s been wonderful to get away from London for a week,’ Alex continued. ‘I really needed a break.’
‘I know you did, you’ve been working so hard,’ Lucy agreed, wondering what tack Alex was taking here.
He turned back to watch the last few minutes of the sun setting as it dipped behind the golden waters, disappearing to shine its light on the other side of the world.
She had to remind herself to breathe, realizing that she had been holding her breath.
He turned to face her again, ‘Shall we go?’ he asked, getting up as he did so and beginning to pack his towel, book and general beach paraphernalia into his red rucksack.
‘Oh okay,’ said Lucy, slightly nonplussed, but remembering that she wasn’t meant to know anything, and forcing herself to be cheerful despite the sense of anticlimax that engulfed her.
They made their way up the beach and back to the hire car that was awaiting them, full of sand, in the car park.
‘I quite fancy going back for a shower before we go out to eat,’ Alex said. ‘Is that okay with you?’
‘Sure,’ said Lucy. ‘I feel like I’ve got sand in every part of my body, I’m dying to be rid of it.’ She was disappointed that he hadn’t taken advantage of the romantic setting of a sunset, especially knowing how much she loved them, but she decided that he had probably planned something special for later that evening. A restaurant proposal would be better anyway; she could get all dressed up and make sure she was looking her best.
They drove back to the farmhouse where they were warmly greeted by Anna, who was watering her plants in the garden, and then showered and changed for dinner.
Lucy made sure that her phone was fully charged in case she needed it to take some photos of this special event as a keepsake. She chose her outfit with care, wearing an olive green strappy dress that showed off her deep golden tan. Her hair had been bleached even further by the salt water and the sun, and her freckles had deepened, giving her a real sun-kissed look. She knew that she looked her best when she was on holiday, and added to her appearance with just a dusting of bronzer, a touch of blush and her usual eye make-up, making her eyes smoulder.
Alex was already ready and waiting for her downstairs as she came down the rickety wooden staircase.
‘Shall we go to that Trattoria again from the first night?’ he asked. ‘It was nice food and quite cheap…’ Alex tailed off, waiting for her confirmation.
Again slightly shocked but suspecting some kind of double bluff or attempt to throw her off scent, Lucy said, ‘Sure,’ and followed him out the door and along the path leading back towards the town.
They ate in the sleepy trattoria overlooking the bay, the moon shimmering on the moving waters. As she plunged her spoon into her pudding, she half expected it to hit something hard and find the ring buried within, like in the movies, but no, nothing happened. She tried to steady her trembling hand and calm her nerves. The anticipation was getting too much for her to bear.
They finished their carafe of wine and were given little glasses of sweet limoncello by the waiters as they paid the bill. She couldn’t believe that he still hadn’t asked her. What was he planning? She just couldn’t figure it out. Alex led her back to the cottage, using a flashlight to light the way, without stopping or pausing, talking about this and that but nothing in particular. Lucy, more confused than ever, followed along behind him, mumbling the odd word in agreement but focussing her attention on making sure that she didn’t stumble in her wedge heels. The proposal, or lack of proposal, was at the front of her mind.
Back at the room, Alex started packing, so Lucy followed suit; she was so full of nervous anticipation she couldn’t even pack her bag properly, clumsily stuffing her clothes in at random, her mind racing and her body tingling with nerves, a sick feeling rose in her stomach. She went into the bathroom, taking deep, calming breaths and reassuring herself that if this was how nervous she was feeling, could she even begin to imagine how nervous poor Alex was right now? He obviously kept wimping out at the last moment; after all, it was a momentous step in any man’s life.
With a final, long breath to steady her nerves, she opened the door, half expecting to see Alex down on one knee in front of her. Her eyes fell on the bed. Alex lay there, fast asleep. Lucy didn’t know what to do with herself; she went back into the bathroom, closing the door behind her, a shuddering breath escaped loudly from her lungs. She didn’t understand why he hadn’t done it. Suddenly, an enormous feeling of exhaustion fell over her as though a pin had pierced the bubble of tension that had been holding her together. She opened the bathroom door and walked wearily into their room, folded back the sheets and got into her side of the bed. Alex was facing away from her, sprawled across the bed, mouth open, releasing soft snores into the room. She turned away to switch off the small lamp on her bedside table, plunging the room into darkness. She lay back onto her pillow and willed the familiar blanket of sleep to cover her, her cheeks burning with silent tears.