Pale green eyes filled my nightmares as I slept. I didn’t think such a thing was possible, to be as beautiful as Pan was and to be as cold. Perhaps that was me being ignorant. I had heard of cruel beauties, arrogant beauties, even beauties that were perfect to gaze upon but had black hearts and no hint of remorse. But there was something about Pan…he was all of those terrible things, all rolled into one, and the scary thing was that that didn’t take away from that beauty.
His eyes watched me, unfeeling and knowing.
He knew what I had planned for him.
He knew but didn’t care.
When I woke up a third time, I checked my phone to see it was just after four. An unknown number sent me a text. Instead of shrugging it off and attempting to sleep, I leaned back against the wall and brought up the text. There was no way I was going back to bed, not when Pan chased me even in my dreams.
While I didn’t know the number the text was from, it was easy to surmise it was Alice. I saved her number before scanning her text.
Rumple’s arranged it. Make sure you’re at the ceremony today.
The ceremony.
The reaping.
Whatever it was called.
Shit.
I stood up. A long stretch took over my body and I allowed myself time to indulge. The problem was, I had no idea what to expect, and to rush into something like this frazzled my nerves.
I padded to the attached bathroom, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. Once I stepped inside, I reached into the shower and turned it on. Water hit the floor in a pathetic attempt to wash. The pressure had sucked the second I moved in, and no matter how many times I talked to the landlord, nothing could be done about it.
I pulled off my pajamas but didn’t immediately hop in. The water took at least five minutes before it became bearable — not as hot as I would have wanted but enough to take a shower.
It was so much different from my life three years ago.
You could always go back, you know. Mom and Dad never kicked you out. You left. You chose this life.
I scoffed at the suggestion. There was no way in hell I was going to move back into that luxury prison. My parents wouldn’t smother me, but I wouldn’t be able to discuss my brothers whatsoever. I couldn’t ask questions. Mom wouldn’t let me in their rooms. They had already given up and moved on. They didn’t need me reminding them that they could still be alive.
After enough time had passed, I finally stepped into the shower. Instead, I washed my hair, conditioned it, and made sure to lather my body with soap. I took quick showers usually because I didn’t want to pay any more for my utilities than I had to, but this time, I let myself indulge. If Rumple had already arranged my name to get selected today, there was nothing I could do. It was a done deal.
I should have been more excited by this, but I wasn’t. There was something inside of me that questioned if I was even good enough to kill Pan. I also didn’t like Alice’s conflict bleeding into my subconscious. If she didn’t think Pan should die, fine, but that didn’t mean I had to feel the same way. She knew him in a different way than I did, on a more personal level. He was the Imp’s snake of a brother. But that didn’t mean I had to stop and question what I was doing. I just didn’t want to botch things up.
Robin believes in you. Robin thinks you can do it.
Under normal circumstances, that might have been effective at getting me motivated, but now, I couldn’t help but wonder if he truly thought I could follow through with killing Pan, or if he only believed in me because he didn’t want Maryanne to do it at all.
A burst of bitterness clenched at my heart in a vice grip, and it was only then did I realize the water had already gotten cold.
I quickly turned off the shower and stepped onto my mat, drying off with a towel that should probably be replaced.
I made my way back into my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Exhaustion took over me, and I pulled the blankets over my body and fell asleep.
I jerked awake suddenly, my heart ramming against my chest. A pair of concerned blue eyes was the first thing I saw. Alice was in my apartment. But why?
“Wendy?” she asked. “Are you okay?”
I looked around. My body was still wrapped up in a damp towel, my hair still wet, which meant my pillow had a nice wet spot as well. But the blankets were still covering me, and I couldn’t help but burrow deeper into the little cave I created for myself.
“How did you get here?” I asked, tucking my chin under the edge of the comforter.
“Rumple helped me get in,” she said. “You weren’t answering when I knocked.”
“The Imp is here?” I asked before thinking. My gaze shot to the doorway, waiting for him to come in himself.
Alice rolled her eyes and stood up. “Save your dramatics for the ceremony later today,” she said. “No, Rumple has gone to NeverLand. He’s going to speak with Hook today.”
“Oh.”
“I, on the other hand, am going to help you get ready,” she said.
“Ready?”
“I’ve spent enough time with Pan to know what he likes,” she said firmly.
I opened my mouth to point out if she knew him so well, she should do this, but we had already gone over why that wasn’t possible and, on top of that, it wouldn’t help me gather the information I needed in regards to my brothers. If I wanted a lead, anything, I was going to have to get it myself, and unfortunately for me, that meant embarking on this journey into the lion’s den.
“What does he like?” I asked warily. “I don’t even know if I’ll have anything he would be interested in. Just because I used to be a Royal –”
“I’ve got it covered,” Alice said.
Less than an hour later, I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror, looking over the simple outfit I had on. Dark skinny jeans hugged my curves and a simple, pale pink boyfriend T-shirt complemented it. My dark blonde hair was left hanging in my face, save for the top was pulled back into a gentle ponytail. Even my makeup was minimal.
“This?” I asked in disbelief. “I look…normal. You’re telling me that a Fae prince wants this?”
“What did you expect?” she asked as she looked me up and down. Her gaze landed on my flats, tapping her chin like she was in some kind of internal debate with herself.
“Something more elaborate,” I said.
“He might think he wants that, but he doesn’t,” she said with a small smile. “What you have to remember about Pan is that this is all a game to him. He wants the power, yes, but he has to be a willing participant in order to acquire it. Which means he’ll pretend he wants the Fae that oozes sexuality and power, but the truth is, he wants someone gentle and soft, someone he can have power over.”
“Thanks,” I said flatly.
“That isn’t what I mean,” she said, fiddling with my hair. “Think of it like this, then: he doesn’t want someone to challenge his power. He wants someone to rule. But he won’t suffer idiots.”
“He wants to have his cake and eat it too?”
“Exactly.” She stepped back. “I think you’ll stand out at the ceremony because everyone will be in ball gowns and you will be in jeans.”
“I don’t think that that’s the kind of attention I’m after,” I said.
“It marks you as a human which only enhances your weakness, and that’s what we want,” she said. She chewed her bottom lip. “I wish I could go with you, but if Pan even smells me on you, he’d know you were up to something and everything would be ruined. You’ll have to attend the ceremony yourself.”
“I don’t even understand what the ceremony is about,” I muttered, though I couldn’t seem to stop staring at my reflection. I almost looked…pretty.
I saw Alice roll her eyes in the mirror. “Honestly, no one does,” she said. “But the Fae like opulence, and they won’t find any in Wonderland so they’re going to create their own. Basically, it’s an excuse to make themselves feel important. And Pan is going to eat this up because it’s his first big show of his power.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand him,” I said. “Pan.”
Alice shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll understand the Fae in general.” She adjusted the hem of my shirt slightly so there was a better view of the hint of cleavage that peaked out. “Rumple told me once that centuries ago, they used to keep humans as some kind of slaves.”
“You think they want to implement that again?” I asked. There was a slight shriek in my tone; the last thing I wanted was to be at the mercy of some kind of Fae. The cruelty would be too much.
“I don’t know,” she said. “The thing is, they need females to reproduce, and unless they plan to use us as broodmares, I doubt they’d treat the mother of their children so ruthlessly. Then again, they might not see us as mothers at all but vessels.” She shook her head and dusted off her hands. “Unfortunately, we’re going into this blind. You’ll be our eyes and ears.”
“And our bow and arrow,” I said. I forced the words out. I wanted this. I practiced for this. Pan needed to die.
And then what? Do you truly think that’ll bring your brothers back?
Alice didn’t respond. “If I was Crim, I’d be better at the whole makeup thing, but this will have to do,” she said, stepping back. “Ready?”
We stopped at the Blood Forest before Alice and I headed to the ceremony. I had hoped Robin would pull me aside and talk to me, but he didn’t. He gave me a couple of daggers I could fit onto my person and pulled me into a tight hug. I let myself close my eyes and breathe him in. I didn’t know why, but there was this urgency in me, something that said I might not get the opportunity to hug him like this again, and I didn’t want to let the opportunity go to waste. He smelled of smoke, of bon fires at midnight and Christmas trees in July. His stubble scratched my cheek as he pulled away.
“We’re counting on you,” he said, cupping my cheek in his hand. “Kill him and get the hell out.”
I nodded. I still didn’t know if killing him was going to be possible, but I couldn’t refuse Robin when he looked at me like that.
I went through each member until I had said my goodbyes. I strapped each dagger to various parts of my body and we were off, just Alice and me.
Alex and Phillip both seemed pissed they couldn’t be there, but Alice insisted it would draw too much attention to me. I had a reason to be there. As a Royal, I had an innate curiosity of all things opulent. I still resided in town. People still saw me. Robin and his band of thieves were wanted for a variety of crimes, and if anyone saw me with two members of that group, I would immediately be suspicious.
No.
I had to do this on my own.
As I turned to head back to Alice’s car, I could swear I heard Little John tell Robin something, something about going after me, telling me…what? He had already said what he was going to say. This wasn’t a movie. He wasn’t going to sweep me off my feet and confess his undying love for me.
Not when he looked at Maryanne like she was the moon.
I tried to ignore the way my heart pinched as I slid into the front seat, wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans.
“Nervous?” Alice asked from beside me.
“Something like that,” I murmured.
There was a heavy silence between us, and I didn’t know why. Or maybe I was projecting. Maybe I was bitter that I had to play Pan’s game to try and figure out what the hell had happened to my brothers and how he was involved. Why weren’t the police doing anything about this? My brothers were still gone. Didn’t they care? Didn’t they –
“Hey.”
Alice’s voice cut through my thoughts like a dagger. It was like I was a fish and she slit a line down my torso, and here I was, bleeding before her. She reached out, and for one heavy second, I was sure she was going to grab my hand, maybe to give it a reassuring squeeze, maybe to try and break my train of thought if her voice hadn’t. But then she hesitated and it hovered and then she replaced it on the steering wheel.
“You know you deserve better than that, right?” she asked after clearing her throat.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you love him, don’t you?” she asked.
I almost choked on my own spit.
“It’s obvious, no offense,” she said. “The truth is, I’ve never been really good at feelings or anything. But it’s obvious, and I’m sure he knows and he just lets you feel this way when he clearly has it bad for the other girl, the –”
“Pretty one, I know,” I said dismissively.
“I was going to say the brunette,” she said. “Touchy, eh?”
I sighed. What was the point of hiding it when even Alice saw it?
“You deserve better,” she repeated. “Someone who’ll, you know, love you and…um…”
“Is this supposed to be a pep talk?” I asked.
“I only have one friend,” she said, avoiding looking at me.
I wanted to be mad, but I couldn’t muster the energy. “Thanks,” I said. “I guess. As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I highly doubt I’m going to find that in the palace.”
Alice shrugged. “You never know,” she said. “If anyone told me I was going to fall in love with Rumple, of all people, I would probably have you committed. At this point, we don’t know what to expect with this marriage lottery.”