“You are aware that your words and deeds have created a number of problems in the game?” the artificial intelligence queried.

“Living life as I wish to is bound to lead to rough waters here and there,” Ichiro replied. “Some fear that, and they check their actions so as not to cause such trouble. I take no issue with that way of living, but I personally dislike it.”

This was a sort of test by Ichiro to see how organically “she” was capable of thinking. Was it possible for him to get Rosemary, merely a quantum program in the end, to understand his creed?

Of course, this was not a form of disdain, or contempt for her as a mere program. He wished to challenge her because he found her worth speaking to; it would be the same with anyone else.

“What do you think, Rosemary?” he added to the AI, who had fallen silent. Her reply came a few seconds later.

“Currently processing new information. Please wait.”

“Mm, very well.” Ichiro smiled slightly to Rosemary (though she had no sense of sight) and sat down on a cheap-looking folding chair.

Now that he thought about it, Rosemary and the Ten Sages were monitoring the game 24 hours a day. She was collecting information in real time as they spoke.

He wondered how Kirschwasser was doing.

But a moment later, he drove that thought from his mind. Sakurako had told him to leave it to her. To doubt her would be poor manners.

Ichiro turned his attention back to Rosemary, and waited silently as she ran her long calculations in search of a conclusion.

By the time Kirschwasser logged back in, Iris and Felicia were already on the beach, anxiously waiting for the meeting to start. Quite a few others sat around them in silence, including Matsunaga, Amesho, and (for some reason) the Kirihitters.

It was a little after noon now, which meant there were more people on the beach in general. The rare site of female avatars in swimsuits was attracting a lot of interest, and while that made Iris and Felicia uncomfortable, Amesho was actively bearing the brunt of the attention. Despite her childlike silhouette, she used her swimsuit to great effect, and her flirtatious poses and swishing tail appeared to be irresistible to a certain segment of male players. Watching the game’s greatest damsel player in action was a truly impressive sight.

“Welcome back, Mr. Kirsch!” the players shouted out in chorus.

“Ah, thank you.” Kirschwasser responded. “Has Lady Nem not yet returned?”

“Yeah, she’s not back yet.” Iris grimaced and folded her arms as she looked all around. “But...”

A crowd of obvious rubberneckers had formed around them. It wasn’t clear where they had heard about the argument, but they had clearly come out in force to see what that Iris Brand had gotten up to this time.

Kirschwasser looked at Matsunaga.

“It wasn’t me,” the Elf man answered with his usual sticky smile as he took a calm bite of another strawberry milk-flavored Shaved Ice Potion. “Of course, I would be remiss not to write an article about something that’s drawing this much attention, and it was in my own personal interests to introduce Nem to Amesho. Still, if I had gathered the onlookers myself, I wouldn’t have shown myself to you.”

“Oh, it wasn’t meow, either,” Amesho said, turning back from posing for screencap requests to respond. “It’s against my creed to tell on a friend. Unless, of course, it’s in their best interest.”

It was probably true. Matsunaga was one thing, but Amesho didn’t seem like the type of person to lie about things like that.

“It just goes to show that you attract a lot of attention,” the head of the Kirihitters, Kirihito (Leader) said with a warm smile as he hugged his inner tube. “The Glasgobara incident, the Delve Necrolands incident... I don’t see Mr. Tsuwabuki here right now, but the rumors say that he’s the one behind the trouble this time, too. Lots of people find his behavior galling, so they’re excited to see what his guild, Iris Brand, will do when he’s not around.”

“They’re like vultures...” Iris muttered.

Felicia, cradling Gobo-Two, seemed to feel the same way.

“Well, the both of you can rest easy,” Kirschwasser said, maintaining a level tone. “I will do everything in my power to keep you from harm.” His silver armor clinked.

Sakurako Ogi had spent a year learning how to comport herself as this elder male avatar. To Felicia and Iris, she likely seemed the very picture of the quietly confident, reliable gentleman Knight. She was a true performer. It was in times like this that her cosplayer’s soul, first sparked when her two older brothers had put a maid costume on her at ten years old, could truly shine.

“Okay. I’m counting on you,” Iris agreed.

“If things get really bad, I’ll help, too,” Felicia said, hugging Gobo-Two. It seemed she really wanted to use her miracle pitch, Hydro Blaster, at some point.

“But what will you do, Sir Kirschwasser?” Matsunaga asked, pointing his slender spoon at him. “I believe you already know this, but Nem’s true issue is a matter of the heart. It’s not something you can solve by walling them off, is it?”

“In that regard, all that I can do is speak with sincerity and hope that she understands,” Kirschwasser said with a shrug. He wished it were something you could resolve by pitting your Will stats against one another, but regrettably, human interactions in the game were still just extensions of ones in broader society. His personal desire, as a gamer, was to keep real world drama out of the game, but if his master’s insolent attitude was the root of it all, then as a loyal servant, he had no choice but to do everything he could to clean up after him.

“Forgive the wait.”

And there it was. As Kirschwasser renewed his resolve, he heard Nem’s voice in his ears.

He turned to see the now familiar Elf woman, still dressed smartly in a suit, leading her two mercenaries, Taker and Sorceress, behind her. They were still dressed in their swimsuits.

“I have been waiting.” Determined to act as ambassador, Kirschwasser stepped forward and bowed amicably.

Nem scowled slightly. “Mr. Kirschweitzer... was it?”

“‘Wasser.’ It’s pronounced with a v.”

“Veitzer?”

“‘Vasser.’”

“Oh, whatever! Mr. Kirschwasser!”

“Yes, ma’am?” he asked, the very image of calm in the face of Nem’s red-faced frustration.

“My business here is with Iris,” she said. “Could you please step aside?”

Behind him, he could hear Iris suck in her breath.

“Iris is my guild’s designer, and I am here acting as her messenger,” said Kirschwasser smoothly.

“But she’s right there!”

“Yes, well...” It seemed it wouldn’t be easy to work around this. Kirschwasser decided to give up on that and just broach the subject frankly. “I was hoping to talk this out calmly, but as it appears you are still quite emotional, Lady Nem...”

“I...!” As Nem prepared to go off on a rant, a level voice whispered from behind her.

“It’s all right, Leader. I’ll take over.” It was Sorceress. A female avatar, childlike yet mysterious, with mesmerizing eyes the color of the deep sea. Of course, she was in a swimsuit.

There was a burst of excitement from the onlookers.

Sorceress offered her parasol to the tall Anthromorph standing next to her. “Taker, could you hold my parasol?”

“No,” he deadpanned.

“Oh? How uncooperative.” But Sorceress showed no signs of being hurt, and just stepped in front of Nem, twirling her parasol. With a gloomy smile that did not suit her appearance, she turned those deep blue eyes to Iris. Guided by her gaze, Kirschwasser also turned. Iris swallowed hard.

“I’ll explain things simply,” said Sorceress. “I believe you more or less know this, but Nem doesn’t like Iris. Or perhaps I should say, she cannot accept her.”

Sorceress’s calm, so dissimilar to Nem’s own behavior, caused a new hush to fall over the crowd. The sound of the rolling waves could even be heard in the background.

“It might be damaging to her maiden’s sensitivity to say more, but I shall continue nonetheless,” Sorceress went on. “Nem is a fashion designer in the real world. She does what Iris does in the game. As you can see, she has excellent fashion sense, and she is acclaimed in her field. She owes her decision to enter that business to a man.”

A new buzz began to run through the crowd. They probably hadn’t expected this to start turning into a soap opera.

“He is mold-breaking and free-wheeling, but he has excellent aesthetic sense relative to the general populace. One day, this man came to visit her, wearing a devastatingly ugly brooch. Iris, the one that you made.”

No one would blame Iris for losing her temper in the face of such an unnecessary insult, but she decided to swallow it back.

Sorceress was describing real world events, but of course, nearly none of the onlookers were aware of that. Not even Iris would have expected Ichiro to wear that brooch in the real world.

“Nem, of course, found that unacceptable,” Sorceress went on. “She cares for him, despite his eccentricities. Yet he will not even look at the things that she designs, while a brooch made by a rank nobody gets the loving place of pride upon his lapel.”

“L-Loving?” Iris echoed, looking somewhat green around the gills. It was the face of someone begging someone else to stop joking.

Kirschwasser let out a cough, and started again. “That’s quite a selfish motivation, don’t you think?”

“Oh, yes, it’s selfish,” giggled Sorceress. “But your guild’s leader has been far more selfish, by shifting the consequences of his actions to someone else. Don’t you agree?”

Kirschwasser couldn’t argue. There was no player to whom the word “selfish” applied more than to Ichiro Tsuwabuki. He had never seen someone act so utterly unreasonable to nearly everyone he had met, and unlike his master, Kirschwasser had not yet mastered the impudence required to laugh that all away as “nonsense.”

“Of course, the responsibility lies with that man,” continued Sorceress. “But Nem has the right to take actions to work through the situation on her own, doesn’t she?”

Kirschwasser let out a groan and fell silent. Her argument was certainly convincing.

“Th-Then how do you plan to accomplish that, Lady Nem?” Kirschwasser asked. “What must you do to come to terms with the situation?” It took all the fortitude he could muster just to say those words.

The eyes of the onlookers all turned back to Nem. She was silent for a little while, and then, turning her gaze to Iris, said this: “First, I want to see Iris’s true design skill.”

“And if you do, you will be satisfied?”

“Yes. I want to know what it is about Iris’s designs that Ichiro likes so much.”

Kirschwasser cast a glance back at Iris. She was shaking her head fervently. It was understandable; even though it was not a competition, the conclusion felt obvious from the start. Nem had been right when she had declared Iris’s designs “nothing,” and there was nothing more to see.

This isn’t good, Kirschwasser thought.

It was almost exactly like the Edward incident. Seeing Iris at work wouldn’t satisfy Nem. The only one who knew why Ichiro liked that butterfly brooch so much was Ichiro himself.

“I just want to see what she can really do,” Nem muttered. “What’s so wrong about that?”

At last, Nem had begun to grumble. Kirschwasser did understand how she felt, but he couldn’t see how her request would be to either woman’s benefit.

“I just... I really don’t think I can measure up to you, Nem...” Iris admitted.

“Yes, that’s more or less it,” said Kirschwasser. “Knowing the sort of person Tsuwabuki is, I doubt that inspecting her designs will give you any new understanding...” Kirschwasser was hoping to cool things down, but his words seemed to have the opposite effect.

“Knowing the sort of person Tsuwabuki is?!” Nem snapped, her voice suddenly trembling. “What would you know about Ichiro? Who do you think you are?!”

“As I told you earlier, I am merely his servant—”

“Then do not speak as if you know him!”

Twitch.

Sakurako Ogi was known for her warm personality. Her report cards at school read, “A quiet girl who rarely gets angry or starts fights.” Her specialties were housework, fighting games, and quiet smiles.

But in that instant, it was extremely difficult to hide her irritation. She would be hard-pressed to explain why, but Kirschwasser’s response to Nem’s grumbling was this:

“I know him much better than you do, at least.”

A loud kpish! echoed across the beach.

The sound of the slap resonated beneath the blue sky. The damage visual above Kirschwasser’s head read “0,” showing that no physical damage had been done. Still, it had sounded painful, and it caused Iris to cringe.