(Tape #1 with Wanda Day. Recorded in Sonny Day’s study, March 21.)
DAY: GOD, YOU LOOK like Daddy sitting there behind the desk.
Hoag: Are you sure it’s okay for you to be up?
Day: I’m fine.
Hoag: Maybe you should rest some more. The doctor will be—
Day: I’m okay. Just needed a little time to … deal with it.
Hoag: You sure?
Day: Positive.
Hoag: Sit for a second then. I want to talk. Here, beside me … That’s good.
Day: I was thinking about driving down to Baja for a few days, to get away from this and clear my head. Want to?
Hoag: Sounds great. But first …
Day: Yes?
Hoag: There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. It’s personal.
Day: There’s no such thing as personal between us.
Hoag: Okay. Now that Connie’s confessed, now that she’s … now that it’s out in the open … will you tell me about it? Could you tell me what happened that night?
Day: What night?
Hoag: The night of Sonny’s birthday party. Connie told me you found her and Gabe on the bed together.
Day: Oh.
Hoag: Would you mind talking about it?
Day: Is it important?
Hoag: I think so.
Day: Okay. Yes. I did find them. (silence) Everybody there got real sloshed that night. Everybody but me, of course. I was what, ten? But I saw what was going on between Mommy and Gabe. I saw the two of them making eyes at each other and whispering. And I saw them sneak upstairs. I followed them.
Hoag: How come?
Day: Because I knew they were going to do something nasty up there.
Hoag: And?
Day: They went down the hall into Mommy and Daddy’s room. They were giggling. They shut the door. I heard them lock it. But I fooled them. I went around to the sitting room. And I went into the bathroom. I was very quiet. I tiptoed in … and I slowly slid the bathroom door open. They hadn’t even bothered to turn off the light. Her evening gown was up around her neck and he was on top of her. His tuxedo pants were down around his ankles. Her … her legs were wrapped around him and she was moaning. And her face was all twisted and her lipstick smeared. They were fucking their brains out, Hoagy. Right there in the bedroom, with my father and everybody downstairs. And then … and then she saw me. She screamed and threw him off her. And I screamed. And I ran downstairs and found Daddy and I said, “Come quickly, Mommy!” And he said, “Mommy what?” And I grabbed his hand and dragged him up there and he found them. He said he was going to kill Gabe. Gabe said, “Let’s talk this out like gentlemen.” And they did, the next day at Chasen’s.
Hoag: I understand it really shook you.
Day: I freaked out totally. Mommy was always the sane one. When I realized she was out of control, too, just as crazy as him … I had to go into the hospital for a while.
Hoag: (silence) There’s something else I wanted to ask you. Something that’s been bugging me.
Day: Okay.
Hoag: It’s about Lulu.
Day: Lulu?
Hoag: Yes. Remember the night the guesthouse burned down?
Day: Of course.
Hoag: Well, something very odd happened that night. See, it was the flames and the smoke that woke me up.
Day: What’s so odd about that?
Hoag: That it wasn’t Lulu who woke me. That she didn’t bark at Connie when Connie came in and set my papers on fire. I still can’t figure out why she didn’t bark.
Day: She knew Mommy.
Hoag: She knew Sonny, too. Saw him every, day. But she barked at him the night he came into my room drunk. She didn’t bark at you that night. When you came to me in Sonny’s bedroom. Remember?
Day: I’ll never forget.
Hoag: I suppose that’s because she’d slept with you before. When I was in Vegas. In the hospital. But Connie … Connie she didn’t know that well.
Day: That is a little odd. But what do you expect—she is your dog.
Hoag: Very, funny. I suppose there’s an explanation for the other things, too.
Day: Other things?
Hoag: Yes. Like how you were so dead set against Sonny’s doing this book at first. Then, after his death, you suddenly wanted me to finish it.
Day: Because I love you. I told you.
Hoag: That’s one way of looking at it.
Day: There’s another?
Hoag: Yes. That you wanted to steer me in a certain direction. After all, you are the one who fed me the story about Connie and Gabe. You are the one who assured me she’d want to have the truth come out. You’ve been steering me all along, haven’t you?
Day: Yes. To the truth. Because of us, Hoagy. What are you … why are you saying all of this?
Hoag: Because there are just too damned many odd little things, Wanda. Things that don’t add up. At first, I couldn’t put them together to mean anything. But then last night …
Day: What happened last night?
Hoag: I finally remembered something Sonny told me once about Gabe. It seemed a minor thing at the time, really. It wasn’t on the tapes. It wasn’t even going to end up in the damned book. That’s pretty amazing, if you think about it. I mean, if you think about how hard I worked to get at the truth. And about how it’s actually the key to the whole thing.
Day: Hoagy, you’re not making sense.
Hoag: The night Sonny and I spent in Vegas, he got me a hooker as a present. She was waiting there in my bed for me. A beautiful blonde.
Day: Stop trying to make me jealous.
Hoag: Naturally, I didn’t do anything. I couldn’t then. So I woke him up and told him I didn’t want her. He didn’t quite grasp what I was saying, since he didn’t know then about my condition. He thought I wanted someone else, someone different. He mentioned that lots of guys have … unusual tastes. Gabe, for instance, “Gabe used to go for little girls.” That’s what he said. Gabe liked little girls.
Day: So?
Hoag: So I didn’t recognize that at the time for what it was—a major slip of the tongue. It was late. He was tired. Otherwise he wouldn’t have said it. See, Gabe’s weakness for little girls is kind of important. Especially when you consider how deeply, how so deeply he resented the way Sonny got the applause and the glory. And how Sonny rubbed it in. And when you consider how Sonny’s own lovely little girl started to act kind of strangely. Withdraw. Grow more and more depressed. Display coldness toward her father. Pretty classic symptoms, wouldn’t you say?
Day: Of what?
Hoag: I’ve figured it out, Wanda.
Day: Figured what out?
Hoag: Stop it, damn it! Stop the movie. That wasn’t Connie up there on the bed with Gabe during the birthday party. You made that up, and Connie went along with it, as did Gabe. The truth is it was you up there with him. She was the one who tiptoed in from the bathroom. She found you and Gabe together. That’s why Gabe and Sonny fought in Chasen’s. That’s why they split up. That’s the secret everybody has been hiding all these years. There was never anything between Gabe and Connie. It was Gabe and you, and that night he finally got caught at it. He made a birthday toast—“To Sonny Day, the man who gave me everything.” I’ll say he did. Then they sang a duet—“their” song. Then Gabe went upstairs and molested his partner’s little girl. Just like he had been doing for years. That’s why Gabe and Sonny fought. That’s why you were hospitalized. And that’s why the real reason for their breakup has always stayed a secret. Sonny loved you. He couldn’t reveal it—it would destroy you. And Gabe would be ruined if it ever came out that he was a child rapist. So they made a pact of silence. Which Sonny had decided to break. Maybe. You stuck that photo on my pillow with the knife. You ripped up my tapes. You were hoping I’d get the message. Split. You were hoping he’d get the message. You sent him the death threat. It’s been you all along. Sonny was no stranger to your little tricks. He knew it was you. That’s why he never wanted to bring in the police. You didn’t go to Baja for his birthday. You were in town. You left him the dummy, the one you stole from his office years ago. That time you genuinely frightened him. He panicked. Fell off the wagon. Drove me away. It worked just like you hoped it would. What you hadn’t counted on was that he’d decide to tell me the truth—to save you.
Day: Save me?
Hoag: He cherished you more than anyone in the world, Wanda. He’d do anything to protect you. He told me that night on the phone that things had gotten out of hand, that the truth had to be told. He said the demons wouldn’t go away. To him, you were crying out for help. He was afraid for you. He wanted to help you. He decided the truth was the only way you’d get that help. You hadn’t figured on that. You hadn’t figured he’d beg me to come back, and that I would. You heard him talking to me in New York on the phone that night. You got the gun. You shot him. You got back in bed. You were there. Connie said you were out on a date—to cover for you. She knew you did it. Gabe knew it, too. He warned me I was getting in over my head. He tried to scare me off by making me think he did it. He even told me he sent Sonny the death threat. Gabe’s behavior yesterday puzzled me completely. First he was menacing. Then he was a lamb. That’s because I’d been fooled. He knew his secret was safe. What he didn’t know is that Connie had done herself in. Left a confession behind. Why did she do it? Was she afraid you’d tell the real story? Because we were lovers? Is that it? (silence) Wanda?
Day: It wasn’t rape.
Hoag: It wasn’t what?
Day: I mean … at first it was. It started after we moved back from Connecticut, I was seven. He’d pick me up after school in his car. Everybody always thought he was playing golf. Or he’d come into my room when he and Victoria were visiting. He’d put his finger inside me and unzip his pants and force my face down into him. Make me suck him off. He told me if I said a word to anybody, they’d send me away to an insane asylum for life. And … and you’re right. He did it to get back at Daddy. Daddy drove him to it. It was his doing. If he hadn’t been so mean to him, so cruel, so rotten, Gabe wouldn’t have done it. Sonny Day fucked him. He fucked Sonny Day back. The best way he knew how.
Hoag: That’s why you and Sonny always battled, isn’t it?
Day: I hated him. At first, I hated Gabe, too. But after a while I didn’t. I was lonely. I looked forward to his attention. Our secret. I made him happy. I pleased him. And he was nice to me. He brushed my hair. He called me his little angel. I-I loved him. He was my hero. The hero of my movie. My white knight—he was even named for it. Only, I loved him the wrong way. Or that’s what they said. They said a little girl isn’t supposed to love a grown man that way. They said I was sick. So they locked me up. But it didn’t stop me. When they let me out, I still saw him. Until I moved to France and started acting. But I never stopped loving him. He was the only man who really cared about me. No one else ever has. Not Daddy. Not my husbands. Not anyone.
Hoag: What about me?
Day: I love you, Hoagy.
Hoag: Then why did you set my room on fire?
Day: I-I wasn’t trying to kill you. I did it so you’d have to move into the big house with me. At least, part of me did. Oh, god, Hoagy. I’m freaking out again. I can’t tell what’s real … you were my new white knight. In my movie. Part of me wanted you that night, in Daddy’s bed. Only part of me was afraid for you, too. Afraid I’d hurt you. That part of me set the fire. … Shit, I can’t tell what’s real anymore. Shit! Daddy … Daddy, he wouldn’t listen to me. He didn’t love me. He wouldn’t keep my secret anymore. He was going to tell everyone about it. That was wrong. My secret. You don’t do that. Not my secret. So I stopped him. And I went to bed and pretended I’d been asleep. And no one knew. Except Mommy. And Heshie. And Gabe. They knew. But they keep my secret. They always keep my secret. So it’s okay. See, it’s okay. (silence) Do you love me, Hoagy? Like I love you? (silence) Hoagy?
Hoag: What we had together, Wanda … I have to know. Was it real? Or were you just performing?
Day: I love you. And you love me. I’m glad you know now. About my secret. I really am. It came between us. Nothing will now. Let’s go to Baja, Hoagy. Right now. Mommy’s funeral won’t be for days. We can swim naked and grill fish and drink tequila—
Hoag: It sounds fabulous …
Day: Great. I’ll get some things together. Be down in a minute.
Hoag: … only, I think I’d better call Lieutenant Lamp first.
Day: Lieutenant Lamp? Why?
Hoag: Wanda, you’re a sick woman. You know it. You said so yourself. He’ll make sure you get help. You need help.
Day: Do you love me? If you love me, you’ll keep my secret.
Hoag: I can’t.
Day: W-Why not? I don’t understand. You … you bastard\You don’t give a shit about me, do you?
Hoag: I do love you, Wanda. Understand that. But I also cared about Sonny. I cared deeply. You killed him. You’re also to blame for your mother’s death. For this you have to be punished. I won’t protect you.
Day: I don’t believe this.
Hoag: I don’t believe in much myself. But I do believe this. I’m calling Lamp.
Day: He won’t believe it. I’ll deny it.
Hoag: He’ll believe it all right. I’ve taped this entire conversation—
Day: You bastard! Motherfucker! Give me that tape!
Hoag: No! Ouch! Let go! Stop that!
Day: Give it to me! Give it to me or—
Hoag: Or what?! You’ll kill me, too? Then who? Gabe? Harmon? It’s over, Wanda. It’s all over. Fade-out. The end.
(end tape)