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10,000-hour rule 29–30, 31–2, 33–4, 35, 46
ability
and reassurance 43
as a springboard 36–7, 43
see also competence; skills
action 117–29
benefits of 125
confidence in 123, 129
dependency 120–1, 121–2
developing confidence through 118–19
encounters with others/world 119–20, 126
entrepreneurs and adventurers 120–2
essentialist perspective 127
existence and essence 128–9
existentialist perspective 127
fear of failure 124
new opportunities 119
and one’s will 126
stage fright of actors 123–4
and thought 125
virginal young men 117–18
admiration 131–45
idiosyncrasies 140, 142
inimitability 140
of mediocre talent 143–4
adventurers 120–2
aesthetic experience 73, 74
aesthetic sense 73–4
Alain 117, 125
Alexander the Great 141
alienation 103
Allende, Isabel 123
anxiety 24–5, 112–13
Archimedes 27, 36
Aristotle 7
friends 17–18
good occupations 111–12
use of hands 113
art 76–7
art instinct 43
artisans 105, 110
business graduates and corporate executives 115
Ashe, Arthur 15–16
attachment, lack of 11
Aurelius, Marcus 7
authority, speaking with 73
Bachelard, Gaston 101
bad faith 67, 85
bakers 107–8, 109
Baldwin, James 23–4, 107–8, 177–8
Baudelaire, Charles 73
Beatles 32–3
Hamburg club 33
beauty 71–84
and aesthetic pleasure 73–4
courage 78–9
exposure to 77
a force at work 80
and harmony 81–2
inhibitions 78
listening to yourself 71–2, 73
and nature 79, 80–1, 83
of the seasons 79
being see self
being and becoming 127–8
Bergson, Henri 67–8, 114, 165–6, 184
Black Boy (Wright) 142
blacksmithing 46
Bobin, Christian 159, 164
bonds 12–13
breaking of 23
Bowlby, John 12
Bridges, Ruby 178
burnout 110, 111
business schools 97
cabinetmakers 109
Cézanne 167
chance 162, 163
charisma 14
Charles de Gaulle (airplane carrier) 172–4
childhood 38
choosing 88–9, 90, 90–1, 97, 97–8
Christians 163–4, 168
Civilisation and Its Discontents (Freud) 139
comfort zone 45, 46, 99
comparisons
with celebrities 147
and desire 153–4
diminished lives 151
distinctness of individuals 150
in French schools 149–50
fulfilling lives 151–2
invalidity of 150
with peers 147–8
self-awareness 153–4
on social networks 148–9
competence 39
and confidence 48
and creativity 44
development of 42
pleasure in developing 39–40
Serena Williams 44
see also ability; skills
confidence
acquisition of 34
compartmentalisation of 39
and competence 48
in life 159–62, 166
Christians 163–4
Epicureans 162–3
Henri Bergson 165–6
Stoics 161–2
in others, lack of 24–5
in own judgements 56
and reassurance 48
in relationships 24–5
in the world 166–8
see also self-confidence
‘Conscientious One’ 42, 58, 70
consciousness 37
conventional truths 59–60
cosmic energy 161
cosmos 161–2
Coué Method 170
The Countess of Rudolstadt (Sand) 145
craftsmanship 102–3, 103–4
Crawford, Matthew B. 101–3
alienation of office work 103
intelligent use of hands 113–14
job satisfaction 102–3, 103–4
culture 8
Cyrulnik, Boris 9, 12
d’Alembert, Jean le Rond 187
Daring to Trust (Delessert) 48
Decamp, Érik 19–20, 21–2
deciding 89, 90–1, 97–8
and confidence 96
and God 94–5
teaching of 96–7
decision making 85–100
academic courses 97
choosing 88–9, 90, 90–1, 97, 97–8
commitment without clarity 87
competing courses of action 88
and confidence 98
deciding 89, 90–1, 94–5, 96, 96–7, 97–8
engaging with uncertainty 86–7, 90, 93
making mistakes 98–9
risk 87
and trust 95
Delessert, Emmanuel 48
dependency 120–1, 121–2
depression 110, 155–6
Descartes, René 186–7
desire 147–57
faithfulness 154, 155
giving up on 154–5
knowing oneself 153–4
loss of 155–6
Ulysses 156–7
see also comparisons
Destivelle, Catherine 19
The Diary of a Seducer (Kierkegaard) 93
digital crutches 106–7
discontent 139
divine force 80–1
Djian, Philippe 142
Dorval, Marie 136–7
Douglass, Frederick 49–52
Dudevant, Baron 132
Dufourmantelle, Anne 24–5
Dupin, Aurore see Sand, George
Dupin, Louise 136, 140, 141
Economic and Philosophic Manuscripts of 1844 (Marx) 112
Edison, Thomas 34
Edlinger, Patrick 2, 82–4
confidence 83
ego 129
Ellison, Ralph 142
emergencies 61–2
emergency doctors 53–4, 61–2
Emerson, Ralph Waldo 53, 62–3, 69, 70, 77, 80
divine force 80–1
individuals 151
passing through of immense intelligence 164–5
ship analogy 98–9
work 103, 106
emotions 75
Enlightenment 67
enterprise 121
entrepreneurs 120–2
Epicureans 162–3, 168
Epicurus 162
Ericsson, Anders 29–30, 31–2, 33
essential self 128
essentialist perspective of action 127
The Ethics of Psychoanalysis (Lacan) 154
exemplarity 131–45
existence 128–9
existentialism 128
existentialist perspective of action 127
experiences 49
expertise 110
Facebook 148
failure, fear of 124
faith 93–4, 174–6
fear instinct 43
feral children 11
The Fire Next Time (Baldwin) 23–4, 177–8
Flaubert, Gustave 137, 140
Flynn, Christopher 13
foetal development 7–8
free association, theory of 64
freedom 51–2, 67–8
in decision-making 93
Freud, Sigmund 9, 64, 139
friends 17–18
friendships 25–6
fulcrum 27, 36
Gall, France 185
getting one’s hands dirty see manual work
Gladwell, Malcolm 29, 32, 33, 33–4, 35
God 164
belief in 94
good faith 67
good work 110
hands, intelligent use of 113–15
harmony 81–2
He Played the Piano Standing Up (Gall) 185–6
Hegel, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich 57
Hephaestus 46
Heraclitus 41
Hillesum, Etty 179–82, 183, 184
Homo faber 114
Homo sapiens 114
humanism 137
Husserl, Edmund 37, 166–7
‘Il jouait du piano debout’ (Gall) 185–6
importance
matters of 60–1
and urgency 60–1
indecision 85–6, 89–90, 97–8
infantile anxiety 9
infants 7–8
inner insecurity 25
insecurity 21
Instagram 148
intelligence, use of hands 113–15
intuition 53–70
‘feeling’ it 54
successes and failures 54
Invisible Man (Ellison) 142
Jesus 163, 164
joy 153, 166
Kant, Immanuel 67
aesthetic experience 74
Kierkegaard, Søren 93–4
self-confidence 95
La Cause du peuple (The People’s Cause) 133–4
labour see manual work
Lacan, Jacques 9–10, 144, 147, 154–5
Leiris, Antoine 174–6
Lennon, John 32–3
Leroux, Pierre 137–8
Levitin, Daniel 34
life
Bergson’s view of 165–6
Christian view of 163–4
confidence in 159–62
Epicurean view of 162–3
mystery in 168–9
Stoic view of 161–2
listening to yourself 53–70
aesthetic experience 74
balancing of faculties 55
and beauty 71–2, 73
capacity 55
challenges of 59
knowing how to 59–60
rituals 63–6
simple and complicated 55
tyranny of urgency 60–1
urgency and importance 60–1
The Little Prince (Saint-Exupéry) 65–6
luck 122
Lucretius 162
Madonna 2, 13–15
admiration of others 142
charisma 14
confidence 13–14
dancing talent 27
family background 13
self-belief 13–14
management consultants 104–5
manual work 101–15
boost to self-confidence 112
confirmation of self-value 112–13
disconnection from making things 106
job satisfaction 102–3, 103–4, 105, 109
mental element 102
rural life 108–9
see also work
Marx, Karl 112
mastery 32, 35, 39, 40–1, 44
reassurance 45
and students 46
McCartney, Paul 33
Merleau-Ponty, Maurice 167, 168
midlife depression 155
mirror stage 9–10
mistakes 98–9
Montessori, Maria 20
Mozart 32, 34
musicians 29–31
mystery of life 159–84
Napoleon 141
Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass (Douglass) 49–52
nature 79, 80–1, 83, 114, 167
Neruda, Pablo 123
Nietzsche, Friedrich 42, 43–4, 52, 69, 131, 187
admiration of others 142
‘Conscientious One’ 42, 58
individuals
diminished lives 151
fulfilling lives 151–2
‘instinct of art’ 43
‘instinct of fear’ 43
role models 141
superman 152–3
Noah, Yannick 15–16
admiration of others 142
office work 101–2
intermediate goals 110
unseen finished product 109–10
vagueness of profession 110
oppressed minorities 23
Oser faire confiance (Delessert) 48
Outliers (Gladwell) 29
paranoiacs 25
On the Parts of Animals (Aristotle) 113
Pascal, Blaise 187
personal identity 127
Phenomenology of Mind (Hegel) 57
Picasso 142
Pioneer, spirit of 70
Platonism 125
pleasure 73–4
poetry 164
practice 27–52
Anders Eriksson 29–30
Beatles 32–3
Hephaestus 46
Mozart 32
Serena Williams 36
Sonny Rollins 30–1
see also training
pre-Revolutionary world 66–7
precocious interactions 9
Programme for International Student Assessment 56
Queuille, Henri 96
racism 23
reassurance 43–4
and confidence 48
relational confidence 23
relationships 7–26
value of friendships 17–18
reliance 80
religious socialism 137
Revue indépendante (Independent Review) 133
rhesus monkeys 10
risk 87
rituals 63–6
role models 141
Rollins, Sonny 30–1
Rothko, Mark 78
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques 136
rural life 108–9
Sagan, Françoise 76
Saint-Exupéry, Antoine de 65
Sainte-Beuve, Charles Augustin 131
Salammbô (Flaubert) 137
salary 110–11
Sand, George 131–5
admiration of others 135, 139
drawing inspiration from 141, 141–2
following example of 138–9
Gustave Flaubert 137, 140
Louise Dupin (great-grandmother) 135–6, 140, 141
Marie Dorval 136–7
Pierre Leroux 137–8
confidence 134
divorce 132
early life 134
La Cause du peuple (The People’s Cause) 133–4
living with grandmother 134–5
loss of father 134
lovers 132–3
motherhood 134
pioneer of feminist movement 133
political views and writings 133
Revue indépendante (Independent Review) 133
taken from mother 134
women’s rights 131–2
writing style 140
Sandeau, Jules 132
Sartre, Jean-Paul 67, 134
ego 129
existentialism 128
Schubert, Franz 75
security 21
deprived of 24
sense of, increasing 25
self 68–9
essentialist perspective of 127, 128
in state of flux 127
self-assurance 12, 22
self-awareness 153–4
self-confidence
acceptance of uncertainty 92
becoming 5–6
comparison with others 147–8
complications of 5
definition 3
development of 8
drivers of 2–3
inner transformation 92
Kierkegaard 95
lack of 24–5
leap in 38, 45
as a modern concept 67
pleasure in work 111
reinforcement 21–2
sources of 1–2
specific actions 37
struggle to achieve 9
through friendships 17–18
through others 7, 22, 25–6
instilling and showing 20–1
words from the heart 13, 15, 16
whole of oneself 68–9
in young children 25–6
self-discovery 40
‘Self-Reliance’ (Emerson) 62, 77, 80
Seneca 85
sensibilities 73–4
sensuality 107–8
Serres, Michel 108–9
Shop Class as Soulcraft (Crawford) 101
skills 28, 29
compartmentalisation of 40
dealing with unforeseen circumstances 41–2
development of 40–1
see also competence
slavery 49–52
snobbism 77
social networks, comparisons 148–9
Socrates 186
sorrow 153
speaking simply 58
Spier, Julius 179
Spinoza, Baruch 153
Stoic wisdom 120
Stoics 161–2, 168
stress, work-related 110
strong ties 7–26
students 46
and competence 46–7
and fear 47
lack of self-confidence 47
listening to oneself 56–7
responsive to challenge 47–8
superman (Nietzsche) 152–3
teachers 19, 22
instilling competence 47
teaching students to listen to themselves 56–7
tennis 27–8
Thoreau, Henry David 71, 79
Thus Spake Zarathustra (Nietzsche) 42
traditional occupations 110
training 27–52
lack of 34
see also practice
The Transcendence of the Ego (Sartre) 129
Truffaut, François 11
trust 19–20
and decision making 95
in oneself 48–9, 70
truth
of religion 59
of tradition 59
The Twilight of the Idols (Nietzsche) 69
Ulysses 156–7
uncertainty 86–7, 90
acceptance of 91–2, 93
management of 91
uncontrol, zone of 99
unhappy childhoods 24
United States of America (USA) 69–70
urgency
and importance 60
tyranny of 60–1
Valentine (Sand) 131
vital impetus 165–6, 168, 184
Walden (Thoreau) 79
Weber, Max 69–70
Westerbork transit camp 180–2
Western rationalism 125
The Wild Child (Truffaut) 11
Williams, Richard 27–8
Williams, Serena 27–9, 32
competence 44
confidence 35–6
letter denouncing sexism 35–6
practice 36
saving match points 29, 41–2
self-discovery 40
Williams, Venus 27–8
Wittgenstein, Ludwig 90
wonder 71–84
work
Aristotle’s view 111–12
good work 110
Marx’s view 112
see also manual work; office work
work-related stress 110
workplace crises 111
Wright, Richard 142