CHAPTER 18

Dianna immediately set out to do just that. With Chris hot on her heels, but with her closer to her intended victim, she stalked around the tables and toward the cash registers—and toward Veronica Alexander … who was making all lovey-dovey with some sharp-looking, tanned, buttoned-down blond man in a white lab coat—a doctor, no doubt—who was paying for two cups of coffee.

The man was of no consequence, and so would be allowed to live. Having dismissed him, Dianna riveted her gaze on the object of her anger. What with her back to the room and her looking adoringly up at the doctor-god, Veronica hadn’t spied her yet. And that was fine with Dianna. The element of surprise was a proven military tactic; everyone knew that. And she meant to take full advantage of the maneuver. God, she was so boiling mad she could just snatch this blond woman bald-headed.

Just as the doctor finished his transaction with the cashier, an elderly black lady whom Dianna dimly remembered, she stepped up in front of Frankenlawyer and her sweetie—still only one step ahead of Chris—and got in their startled faces when they turned and found her standing there. Dianna crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one foot. “Evening.”

Immediately, Chris grabbed her arm and tried to pull her back. “Dianna.”

“You need something else, baby?” the cashier asked Chris.

“Maybe a squadron of marines, ma’am. I’ll let you know.”

The cashier, sitting on a stool behind her counter, just nodded. “All right, y’all go on ahead, then, with your business. Don’t mind me. I’m here until closing.”

Hearing this exchange as background noise, and ignoring Chris’s pressure on her arm, Dianna directed all her anger at the startled blond attorney, with whom she now stood toe to toe. “I hope that guy you’re clinging to is a plastic surgeon, honey,” Dianna said pleasantly, “because you’re going to need one in about two seconds.”

The doctor sucked in a big breath. “What is this? What’s going on?”

“Lord above,” the full-figured cashier intoned. “Annie’s going to be mad she took her break and missed this.” Dianna just stared at the woman, who explained, “Annie’s the other cashier. She was sitting right there when you checked out. And you look better now, honey. You didn’t look too good when you came through the line with your young man. But you’re good now.”

Dianna nodded. “Thanks.” And then held a hand up as if to block the doctor. “Hold on a minute and you’ll find out what’s going on here.” Next she turned to her nemesis. “Why don’t you tell him, Veronica, what’s going on here?”

“Yeah. Tell him, honey.” This was the cashier again, whose name tag proclaimed her to be Merle. So, Merle crossed her arms and added, “We all want to know what’s up. And don’t look at me like that. There’s nobody behind you in line, girl. We got time.”

With great satisfaction, Dianna watched color stain Veronica’s cheeks. Her chin aquiver—no doubt with anger and you’ve-been-caught-sister embarrassment—she flicked her gaze from Dianna to Chris and then back to Dianna. “What are you doing here? Are you spying on me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Veronica.” That was Chris. Dianna looked up at him and saw him dividing his gaze between his former lover and her apparent new lover. Dianna wondered just how new, though—and so did Chris, apparently. “Who’s your little friend?” he asked, doing Dianna’s heart a world of good. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

“Fine.” Veronica’s eyes narrowed to slits. Obviously, she’d recovered. “You want an introduction? I’ll give you one. No reason now why not.” Without looking away from Chris, she raised her right hand to indicate the doctor. “Anthony, I’d like you to meet Chris Adams”—she pointed at Chris—“and Chris, I’d like you to meet Dr. Anthony Boatman.” She indicated the doctor, who raised the tray he held in both hands as if to indicate that he would shake Chris’s hand but his hands weren’t free.

“No need, Doctor,” Chris assured him, his face a hardened mask. “I can sympathize with just how full your hands are.” He looked right at Veronica.

“Lord,” Merle cut in, fanning herself. “This is better than my stories on the TV.” She turned to Dianna. “Who’re you, baby?”

Really liking this woman, Dianna shook Merle’s hand. “Hi. I’m Dianna. The other woman.”

“The other woman? Child, you don’t look like the other woman. You’re just a baby.”

“And yet I am.” Dianna quirked her mouth, purposely talking directly to Merle and ignoring Veronica, her doctor boyfriend, and even Chris. “Well, it’s kind of a long story, Merle, but Chris here”—she pointed to him—“thought he wanted to marry Veronica”—she pointed to her—“so he came to my business, which is called Popping the Question—”

“What kind of a business is it?”

“I help bachelors come up with romantic scenarios to ask their girlfriends to marry them.”

“Seriously?” Merle smacked playfully at Dianna’s arm. “That’s wonderful. My boy has a girlfriend I want him to marry. You got a card or something you can give me, honey?”

Dianna patted herself down. “No, sorry. My purse is upstairs. My sister-in-law is going to have a baby.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Congratulations. Hey, you in the book? I’ll look you up and have my boy call. His name is Ronald. He’s a good boy. Got a nice girlfriend, too.”

“Sure. That would be great. Tell him to ask for me. Dianna West.”

“Dianna, can we—”

She turned to Chris. “Hold on. I’m almost done here.” She turned back to Merle. “So, anyway—”

“How’d you get that eye, baby? What happened with that?”

And there it was, what she wanted to talk about. “Thanks for asking. She did it.” Dianna pointed to Veronica.

Dr. Boatman sucked in a breath. “Veronica? You hit this woman?”

Looking spitting mad, the corners of her eyes and her mouth twitching, Veronica ignored her little friend and turned on Dianna. “I will not be humiliated like this in public. You will step aside and allow us to pass, or I will—”

“You’ll what?” Dianna interrupted. “Hit me again in front of all these witnesses?”

“All right, this is enough,” Chris said, tugging Dianna back to his side. “We’re done here. And I think you are, too, Veronica. If you’re smart, you’ll drop all your talk of a lawsuit. Because I think your Dr. Boatman here explains a lot of things that you or he won’t want brought up in a court of law. Your weekend trips. The overnight things. Your being tired and so overworked. It’s all clear to me now. And things are starting to make a lot of sense.”

“Now, wait just a damn minute here,” Dr. Boatman said. “I’m a married man. How dare you suggest I have anything going on with Miss Alexander?”

Her expression stricken, Veronica blanched and jerked her head up to look at her doctor companion. “Tony! How dare you deny me—”

“Baby, that’s a wedding ring on Dr. Boatman’s finger.” Merle was right on target and talking to Veronica. “Of course he’s going to deny you. You leave them married men alone, girl. Ain’t nothing but trouble that you don’t need.” She held a placating hand out to Dr. Boatman. “No offense.”

Dr. Boatman looked pretty ill right then. He stared at the cups of coffee on his tray. Dianna could almost feel sorry for him and for Veronica because they just seemed pathetic, and she really didn’t want to hit the woman anymore. She probably wouldn’t have anyway.

“Just one thing, Veronica,” Chris said, grabbing their attention again. “Why the big scene in my apartment? Here you were all but living with me for the past four years—”

“What?” Dr. Boatman apparently had been lied to, also. “You were still with him? You said you’d broken it off with your … lover over six months ago.”

“Oh, now, wait a minute, Dr. Boatman,” Merle interrupted. “You don’t get to go all betrayal on us. You’re married.”

“One more word out of you and I’ll have your job,” Dr. Boatman threatened the cashier.

Chris pushed forward. “Don’t you go threatening this woman. You want to pick on someone, you pick on—”

“Hold on, son. I can take care of this.” Merle pulled Chris back and eyed Dr. Boatman. “You want my job? Is that it? Well, you can have it, but you won’t like it. And don’t you forget that I know your business. Now, you just stand there and be quiet. Or you go on off and drink your coffee. But you let these people straighten out their lives, you hear me?”

The doctor slammed the tray down on the metal rails, turned on his heel, and stormed off.

“Tony!” Veronica called out, but he didn’t turn around.

“You better leave Tony alone, honey,” was Merle’s advice. “He’s too mad to talk to right now. Besides, you’ve got some explaining to do here.”

Veronica narrowed her eyes at Merle. “Excuse me, but do you know who I am?”

Merle crossed her arms and looked Veronica up and down. “I think I do, girl. You’re some cheating, little two-faced Barbie, that’s who you are.” The cashier turned to Chris. “Go on, honey. You were saying?”

To Dianna’s surprise, Chris chuckled and put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side. She wrapped her arm around his waist, feeling much calmer and very much happier. Chris addressed Merle first. “I like you, Merle. You’re pretty damned cool. If Dr. Boatman makes good on his threat, and you ever need a job, look me up. Or better yet, just call Dianna. She’ll know how to reach me.”

Then he faced Veronica. “Why the scene, Veronica? That’s all I want to know. If you had something going on with this other guy and wanted to be with him, why didn’t you just tell me? And why’d you come over to my place saying yes and wanting to marry me? What was that all about?”

Veronica’s expression closed. “I don’t owe you any explanations, Chris. Not after finding you in bed with her.”

Dianna stiffened. Chris tightened his grip on her, but kept talking to Veronica. “All right, fine, I’ll talk. I think you were playing both ends against the middle. And I know you don’t like to lose. So maybe you thought you were losing your doctor and came running back to me so you wouldn’t be humiliated. Is that it? Were you stringing me along until your doctor left his wife—”

“Leave his wife? He’s not about to leave his wife,” Merle cried. “Honey, his wife’s the money.” She focused on Veronica. “He didn’t tell you that part, did he? Shoot, it’s her daddy that has his name on everything around here. Dr. Boatman’s not going to leave on your account. And I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re not the first one, either. Don’t look at me like that. I sit here every day and I see everything that goes on, and I’m telling you the truth.”

But Veronica was having none of it. “This is none of your business, and I have had about all I’m going to take from you, do you hear me?”

Apparently not afraid of anybody or anything, Merle came off her bench. “Hey, don’t you let your mouth write a check your butt can’t cash, Blondie. Because I’ll mop this floor up with your narrow ass.”

“Oh, my God.” Dianna gasped and pulled away from Chris. He freed himself from her, too. And they both stepped in.

Apparently alarmed, Veronica made a sudden move as if to turn around, but her hip hit the tray that her doctor/lover had clanked onto the rails. The darned thing upended in Merle’s direction, splattering the hot liquid all over her. In frozen horror, Dianna, along with Chris and Veronica, watched a dark stain spread down the stunned woman’s white uniform. Gasps and comments from all around them reminded Dianna that they weren’t alone. There were kitchen workers standing around. And there had been other customers in the dining room, too. No doubt, with this brouhaha escalating, no one had left.

Merle recovered and cried out, holding the front of her uniform away from her body. Chris grabbed the cashier and quickly herded her back to a tall, skinny woman wearing an apron and a hair net. “Get her out of her uniform. Help her. All of you. Make sure she isn’t burned.”

Several employees rushed forward to help take Merle away. The poor woman was crying and shouting. Chris put an arm around her and went with them. “I’ll be right back, Dianna.”

She heard him, but completely outraged and incredulous, Dianna stepped up to Veronica. “It’s a good thing for you that was an accident, and we all saw that it was. But how could you be so careless? She’s got to be seventy years old.”

Veronica’s arrogant sneer marred her blond good looks. “Like you said, it was clearly an accident. But if the woman hadn’t got up off her stool to stick her nose in where it wasn’t any of her business, she wouldn’t have been in the line of fire.”

“That’s all you have to say? Could you be less apologetic or compassionate, Veronica? What is wrong with you?”

“There is nothing wrong with me.” Veronica wagged a finger in Dianna’s face. “And I will not stand here and be lectured by you, do you hear me?”

Dianna slapped Veronica’s pointing finger away. “Listen up, Veronica, I don’t know what your problem is, but your wheels are coming off. How can you act like this and have the responsible job you do? You’re a nightmare.”

“And you’re a saint, is that it?”

“No, I’m no saint. We both know that. But I’m not an asshole, either. And I’m not mean-spirited. Again, what is your problem? How in God’s name could Chris have ever been with a woman like you?”

“You don’t know anything about Chris.”

“I know everything I need to know. Except you. I don’t see you with him. You couldn’t have always been like this, or he wouldn’t have been with you. So what’s changed, Veronica? What’s different? You lose your job? The doctor get you pregnant, what? You got some kind of hormonal imbalance going here?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me. I am who I am.”

“So, now you’re Popeye?” A more rational part of Dianna’s brain was telling her to be the heroine and walk away. But another part of her brain was telling her not to turn her back on this woman. And the other part just wanted to have her moment.

Veronica made a scoffing little chuckle that really insulted Dianna. “Oh, please. Is that the best you can do? By the way, nice eye you’ve got working there. You are no worthy opponent for me. The only thing I find hard to believe is that I could lose him to you.”

Dianna fought hard not to respond to that and to just get said what was important to her to say. “So Chris was right. It is about winning to you. And about your doctor not leaving his wife. It was all about pride and never about love with you, was it? That is so pathetic. I feel sorry for you, Veronica. I thought I hated you, but all I feel is sorry for you.”

Veronica’s face twisted into an ugly Halloween mask, and she grabbed the front of Dianna’s T-shirt. “I don’t want your pity.”

Stunned, Dianna’s heart thumped-thumped-thumped. But more calmly than she would have believed she was capable of being, she said, “Take your hands off me, Veronica. Right now. Or I’ll finish what you only started yesterday. And make no mistake, I’ll kick your ass.”

You’ll kick her ass? The sweet, well-behaved-girl side of Dianna’s brain was shrieking at her. What do you mean you’ll kick her ass? Who do you think you are—Xena, Warrior Princess? Wonder Woman? Batwoman? The queen of the Amazons? Have you lost your mind? You’ve never hit anyone in your whole life except for Lenny and Edward and Tommy. And, yes, that mean girl in seventh grade; what was her name? The one in gym class. Amy Something. She kept hitting you in the stomach with the volleyball.

To Dianna’s surprise … and yes, disappointment … Veronica let go of her and very mockingly straightened her T-shirt. “Sorry. I’d hate to muss such expensive material.”

Dianna couldn’t react fast enough. Her ears were buzzing, the adrenaline was pumping … and she just stood there. Slowly, she realized that, from behind her, she was hearing Chris’s voice. “You’re lucky, Veronica. Merle wasn’t burned. Just scared. I can’t believe you were so careless. Or that you obviously couldn’t care less now how she is. How can you be that way? Look, I don’t know if you’re just in over your head or what, but you need help. Professional help. But for right now, you’re done here. Just say good-bye and go on about your business.”

She arched an eyebrow at Chris. “I don’t take orders from you.”

Chris exhaled. “Fine. Don’t. But we’re leaving. Come on, Dianna.” He took her arm. “I just saw Edward out in the hall. It’s time.”

Excited now, Dianna forgot all about Veronica, turning her back on the woman and going with Chris. “The baby? It’s time for the baby?”

“Chris?”

He stopped and turned around to Veronica. Since his arm was around Dianna, she turned with him. “What is it? We’re in kind of a hurry here.”

“I just wanted to say that you won’t be all that hard to forget.”

Chris exhaled as if impatient. “Whatever.”

“And you never satisfied me in bed.”

“For Christ’s sake.” He looked down at Dianna. “Do you believe this?”

“No. I really don’t, Chris. I know better, remember. But will you excuse me a moment, honey?” She pulled away from him.

“Hey, what are you going to do?”

She dusted her hands off and flexed her fingers. “Something I should have done before now.” She stepped up to Veronica. “You shouldn’t insult my man like that, Veronica. Now, normally, I’m not a violent person—”

“Oh, shit. Dianna, don’t—”

She didn’t. Veronica did first. The attorney stepped up to Dianna, apparently meaning to deliver an open-handed smack to her face; otherwise known as a bitch slap.

No way was Dianna taking another blow to her eye. Thus highly motivated, and scared to death yet adrenaline-pumped, she proved quicker—quicker even than Chris who made a (too late) diving leap for her. As if she were Jackie Chan, Dianna blocked the woman’s blow with her left arm and, with her right hand fisted, punched the nasty little blonde solidly hard and high on her cheek, right beside her eye—just like Tommy had taught her.

*   *   *

It was late Tuesday night before Dianna made it home. Very late. Chris drove her, of course. And then he insisted on slowly walking her up the inside stairs to her door. She didn’t argue because she was so tired that she didn’t trust her legs to carry her on their own.

They were now outside her locked door in the long, carpeted, quiet, well-lit hallway. Dead on her feet, Dianna handed Chris her purse. “Here. See if you can find my keys. I’m no good with this cast yet.”

“Okay. And how does your hand feel?”

“Like I broke my knuckle. I can’t believe this.” She leaned back against the wall and rolled her head loosely until she could see Chris fumbling around in her purse. “Who knew the person doing the hitting got hurt, too?”

“Guys know that. Why do you have all this stuff in here?” He held up a wad of tissues and frowned at her, a questioning expression on his face.

“In case there’s no toilet paper in the ladies’ room.”

“Oh.” He kept sorting through the contents, doing more holding up of things and examining them in the light than he was looking for keys. “Anyway, the hospital security people were pretty cool about not arresting you or Veronica.”

“They could have arrested her, for all I care.”

“I agree. But it was an accident—I mean Merle. And she wasn’t burned and didn’t want to report it. Still, I don’t think Veronica will be talking lawsuit anymore. She’s pretty much shown her motivations here.” Chris eyed the third tube of lipstick he’d pulled out of her bag and said, “I’m thinking of asking Merle if she’d like to come be my housekeeper and cook. What do you think?”

“I think you could use a cook. But what makes you think she’s a good cook?”

“I was talking to her while you were getting X rays. Cooking came up.”

“You’re not just thinking about it. You already hired her, didn’t you, Chris?”

“Yes. She’s nice. I like her. She starts next Monday.”

“You’re an old softie, you know that?”

“Yeah. Besides, she’ll make my mother crazy, so it’ll be worth it.”

“As long as it makes your mother crazy. Chris, can you not find a simple set of keys, honey? I’m dead on my feet. My face hurts, and my hand is killing me. I just want to get to bed and forget this whole day.”

“It’s not over yet.”

“Oh, God. What do you mean? It’s nearly midnight. I became an aunt today and—”

“What a beautiful little girl, too. Margaret. Maggie. Wow. A whole new life. What an experience. You know, your dad even forgot himself and hugged me, he was so excited. And Tommy looked every inch the proud papa, too. Well, once he got over his notion to beat the crap out of me.”

“I’m going to beat the crap out of you if you don’t find those keys, Chris.”

“Okay, okay, hold on, champ. I think I got them here. Yep. Here they are.” He came up with them, holding them up for her to see. “But first I want to ask you something.”

“Chris, I swear to God if you ask me to marry you—”

“What would you say if I did?”

Dianna stared balefully at him. The damned man could not have looked more handsome—how do guys do that? It’s midnight; they’ve been through the same hell you have, and they still look like Prince Charming—or more endearing standing there with his hands and arms full of her purse and its contents. “I would say no, Chris.”

“Why?”

“Why? Are you serious? Look at me. I look like Quasimodo here. Or like I lost a fight with a junkyard dog. My new Victoria’s Secret T-shirt is all wadded up. I have no idea what my hair looks like. My jeans are trashed from this little fiberglass-cast episode. The whole side of my face is swollen and bruised. I can’t see out of my right eye. And I broke my freakin’ hand defending your honor.”

He stuffed everything back in her purse, except the keys. “Not to argue, but you actually were defending my prowess in the bedroom.”

“Whatever, Mr. Stud Muffin. Would you just please unlock my door and go home?”

“Sure. If that’s what you want.” She showed him which key was to her door. He stuck it in the lock and said, “So let me get this straight. A woman doesn’t want to be asked by her guy to marry him if she’s not looking her best, right?”

“I cannot believe I have to do this tonight. But no, not always and not all women. It’s just that it’s such a memorable moment in a woman’s life. She wants to always remember what she was wearing. Where they were. Like that.”

“Oh, so location is important, too.”

“I have a whole business that says it is.”

“I see. I guess I hadn’t realized all that about location and how you look.”

“And the ring is pretty necessary, too. And flowers. You’ll catch on more when you’re there every day and working with Mrs. Windhorst. She’ll fill you in.”

“I’m sure she will. So how do you want it to be for you, Dianna? Some soft night in Hawaii? Atop the Eiffel Tower in Paris? At the Taj Mahal?”

“Oh, hardly. I guess I want sincerity. And constancy. Someone who’s always there. Someone who understands me. Who laughs at my jokes and knows me really well and yet still likes me. And someone who loves me so much that he’d die rather than walk away from me.”

Chris held up his hand in the air.

“What are you doing?”

“I’d like to apply for that job.”

“Chris, it is so late, honey. And I’m so tired.”

“All right. You’re right. One more question. Do you love me in all those ways you just said, Dianna?”

Dianna was certain she was going to cry. “Yes, Chris. I do. I love you in all those ways.”

“You do? You could see yourself living with me for the rest of your life?”

“Chris, that’s another question, and you said one. But, yes, I could. And you’re just taking advantage of me being so tired. Not fair.”

“Maybe not. But I have to press my advantage while I have it. Is my face the one you want to see every morning when you wake up?”

“Yes, dammit. Are you happy now?”

“Not completely. Why won’t you marry me?”

“You haven’t actually asked me yet, you know. Not tonight, anyway.”

He still hadn’t turned that key in the lock, either. “Oh. Will you marry me, Dianna?”

“No. And only this afternoon at my office, you said you wouldn’t ask me ever again, remember?”

“Yeah. But a lot has changed since then.”

“Like what?”

“Like I can’t live without you.”

“You’re just afraid to take on Merle alone.”

At long last, he turned the key in the lock. “That’s true.” And opened the door. “Okay, here you are, all safe and sound.” He ran his gaze over her and winced. “Well, safe, anyway.”

“Thanks. Good night, Chris.”

“You aren’t going to invite me in?”

“No. I can’t think tonight, Chris. I’m dead tired. I just want to go to bed.” She stepped inside and pushed against his chest. “Good night. Go home.” She took her keys from him and closed the door, locking it from the inside.

No more than one second passed before there was a knock on her door. “I’m going to kill him,” she muttered. She looked out the peephole. There was Chris, that nut, grinning like an idiot and holding her purse up for her to see. “Oh, for God’s sake.” She opened the door and snatched the purse from him. “Thank you. Go home.” She impolitely closed the door in the man’s face again and locked it.

She stood there, listening. Another two or three seconds went by. He didn’t knock. She looked out the peephole. No one was in the hall. Okay, so she was a bit disappointed that he’d given up so easily. And pretty jazzed that he kept asking her to marry him. She smiled, thinking of how much she loved him and how she would probably say yes before long because she knew him so much better this evening than she had this morning and, God, how she loved him. He was so the right man for her. That one in a million—

A knock on the door startled her. She chuckled. All right, you stinker. She looked out the peephole. Nothing but hallway. Her smile faded. She didn’t know what to do. Oh, come on, it had to be Chris. But what was he doing? Hiding to one side of the door? Yes, that sounded just like him.

Dianna turned the deadbolt and eased the door open. And what she saw there made her burst out laughing. She quickly clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from disturbing her neighbors. “Chris Adams, what are you doing?”

The man was down on one knee in her hallway. In one hand he held a velvet ring box out to her. “I just remembered I had this in the glove compartment. I bought it this morning for you.”

Dianna leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb. “And the flowers, Chris? You have roots and dirt and all. Where did you get them? Do not tell me you pulled them out of Mrs. Blodgett’s planter.”

“I don’t know Mrs. Blodgett, but is hers the door right before the outside door and if you stick your foot in the doorway so the security door doesn’t close and then lean way over to the planter there, you can pluck flowers up and still get back inside?”

“Yes.” Dianna thought she was going to cry from sheer happiness and love for this nutty, intelligent, witty guy she could not bear to spend one more day apart from.

“Then these are hers. Well, yours now. So, okay, I’m down on one knee. I’ve got the ring. Go ahead, open the box. It’s gorgeous. And here are the flowers. If you hurry we can probably replant them and she’ll never know.” He grinned.

“Ask me.”

“No. You always say no.”

“Go ahead. Ask me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“You’ll say no.”

“Chris, I’ve been saying no all day.”

“Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you something that your mother told me this evening when you were getting your cast put on.”

“Oh, God. What?”

“Lenny and Olivia eloped and ran away to Florida, and his mother is going ape-shit. Well, your mother didn’t actually say ‘ape-shit,’ but it was the same thing.”

Dianna stood there with her mouth open. “Are you serious? Lenny finally grew some balls?”

“Or Olivia did. Apparently she got a call from her old employer offering her a huge raise to go down South and work. So she threatened Lenny with leaving him. And he bit and went with her. I understand that Lenny’s mother is inconsolable.”

“She’ll get over it, the old harridan. Or fly down there and live with them.”

“Your mother is hoping that’s what will happen.”

“Cool. New neighbors. Finally.”

“And your track record stays at a hundred percent.”

“That’s right. I forgot about that.”

“No, wait. It won’t. I’m a client, too. I have a contract with your place of business. And I’m asking.”

“So … ask.”

“You want to see the ring first?”

“No. Ask.”

“Okay, but you better say yes.” He took a deep breath, exhaled, and said, “Dianna Joan West, I love you with all my heart and all my soul. Everything I have, I give to you. I cannot live without you. And I don’t even want to try. I don’t think I’ve known you for even a month, but what is time to the heart? I knew the first moment I looked into your eyes that I would love you. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Very seriously, very soberly, Dianna considered him down there on one knee.

“Dianna? My foot is numb.”

“Shh. I’m thinking.”

“What’s there to think about, for crying out loud? If you say no, I’m just going to ask you tomorrow. And every day after that for the rest of our lives until I’m too old even to talk.”

“Well, that sounds kind of bleak.”

“I know. So?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

He looked suspicious. “Yes what?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

“You will? You’re saying yes? You’re actually saying yes?”

A door down the way opened and a little old man with wispy hair and a bony chest popped out into the hall and yelled, “She said yes, already. I heard her. Maury Jacobson heard her. Flo Mendicott heard her. My dog heard her. Give her the damn ring and kiss her, you jerk, so we can all get back to sleep.” He drew his head back in and slammed the door.

Chris looked up at Dianna. “Who was that?”

“Mr. Hartz. He’s cranky.”

“We can’t live here.”

“We’ll live at your place, but I’m redecorating.”

“Fine. So, you want the ring?”

“Sure.” She took it, opened it, damn near lost her breath, it was that big and that beautiful. “Nice,” she gulped out.

“Thanks. And the flowers?”

“No. We have to replant those.”

“Oh, right. Can I get up now?”

“Yeah, I guess. Want me to hold the flowers while you do?”

“Can you, please? That’d be good.” She took them; he stood up. “Want me to place the ring on your finger now?”

“Okay.”

He took it out of the box and slipped it on her finger and stood there with her, staring lingeringly at it with her. “Sure you’re not disappointed, Dianna? I mean, this wasn’t elaborate or wildly romantic or—”

“It was all of those things, Chris. But not as much as it’s getting ready to be, big boy.” Startling Chris, she tossed the ruined flowers onto the hallway carpet. “We’ll buy Mrs. Blodgett more tomorrow.”

With that, she grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into her condo. The door slammed after them.

And thus began their happily-ever-after.

And that was also how it was that Popping the Question’s track record remained at one hundred percent.