Red wondered what the appropriate emotional response would be to Calisa’s ultimatum. She was nothing if not direct and she’d certainly laid it out for him to take it or leave it. Could he take it? The answer was… no.
When she’d arrived earlier, as irritated as he was with her he was happy to see her up and running. As free-spirited and busy as she was on any given day, seeing her sick didn’t feel right.
Red contemplated her words. He hadn’t expected this latest revelation. She kept a lot of her past under wraps, choosing to only share her deepest thoughts with Syd. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he didn’t really know much about her at all. It bothered him, and he’d stewed on it all night. As long as he’d known her, she’d never talked about her mother to him. He’d met the only person she’d considered family years ago—her uncle. She’d described outings to amusement parks, museums, and vacations at the beach with her uncle, but that had been about it.
Syd once told him that they’d bonded over their horrible mothers. Cali had alluded to Syd’s complaints about their mother earlier. Red didn’t have the same experience as Syd, but he’d seen the way his mother had treated her growing up. He definitely understood why his sister felt the way she did. He’d been completely on Syd’s side when she decided to move to Virginia with their father after their parents split up. Hell, he’d wanted to go himself, but his guilt had kept him in Michigan.
Red took in Cali’s defensive stance—eyes wild, chest heaving, fists clenched. Somehow, he wasn’t sure Syd even knew everything she’d gone through. He made a mental note to ask her when she got back to town.
Stepping closer to Cali, he ran a thumb down her cheek and hooked his hand around her neck. Slowly, he brushed his lips over hers. Spurred on by her soft moan, he pulled her deeper into the kiss. His desire was to comfort her, to bring her peace. He couldn’t take her like she hadn’t just bared her soul to him, shared her deepest secret. He wanted to help her.
Pulling away, he looked down at her, then leaned his forehead against hers. “Can we start over?” he asked softly.
She frowned. “How is that even possible? I’ve told you something that I swore I would never tell another living person. I can’t forget that. How can you?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. He’d picked a fight with her two days in a row for reasons that were unclear to him. When he’d left her house last night, he wanted to be okay with it. But he was admittedly salty about the stupid rules in place. He’d wanted to hurt her when she showed up like nothing had happened. There were words spoken that couldn’t be taken back. In that moment, though, Red wanted her in his life any way he could get her. “I just know I don’t want to ever hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”
She nodded. “Red, I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. I get a little crazy when I’m talking about my mother. There’s so much—”
“It’s okay,” he assured her as he pulled her into a tight hug. “You don’t have to say anything else. I’m just glad you told me what you did. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No child deserves to be mistreated or made to feel unwanted.”
“Red?” She pulled away from him and glanced up at him.
He waited for her to speak.
“Thank you. For everything. You said you never wanted to be a person that would hurt me, and I appreciate it. I want you to know I feel the same way about you. I don’t want this to change us, and I’m worried it will.”
“Don’t worry about that.” He sighed, tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m always going to be here for you.”
She bit down on her bottom lip. “Promise?”
He opened his mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. There was something in her voice, the way she looked at him. A vulnerability he’d yet to see from her. Ever. She was looking to him to tell her everything was going to be all right. Only he couldn’t be sure.
Swallowing, he squeezed her chin gently between his forefinger and his thumb and smiled at her. “I promise,” he told her finally, even though there was no way to know how this would turn out. But one thing was certain: if they didn’t end up together, neither of them would be left unscathed.
He noticed the tears standing in her eyes and guessed she’d realized the same thing. He kissed her eyelids softly. “Can you promise to always be honest with me?”
Being honest with him was what had gotten them in trouble in the first place. Yet he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“I’ll try. It’s very hard to talk about my past. And it’s not that I don’t trust you because I do, Red. We’re friends first. That’s why this is good. I need you to understand where I’m coming from.”
“As long as you understand where I am.” If only he knew where he was.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for everything.”
The sincerity in her eyes hit him right in the gut. He couldn’t resist placing a tender kiss to her lips. “Me too,” he murmured against her mouth.
“I guess we both have asshole tendencies, huh?” she quipped with a soft giggle.
“Pretty much,” he agreed.
“Well, next time you drive out to my house to take care of me, you can stay the night.”
He barked out a laugh. Smacking her lightly on her thigh, he said, “You’re full of shit. Come on, we have to get to the airport.”
* * *
Traffic was heavy as they headed toward the Detroit Metropolitan Airport. Red had muttered a string of curse words as he tried to maneuver between cars. At one point, he flicked off a truck driver as he cut in front of him. Calisa gripped her seatbelt as he weaved between the lanes.
She wasn’t worried that they’d get in an accident. Red was an excellent driver. Her concern was the fact that she’d blurted out details of her past. Things that she’d never intended telling him. Then he’d turned down her invitation for sex, which was so unlike him. Although, in his defense, she had practically demanded he ignore her tears and her heartfelt confession to fuck her. I can’t believe I did that. If it had been any other man, that entire scene might have played out in another way, but Red would never take advantage of her, even if she was begging him. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she wondered what he was thinking, if he’d look at her differently.
“Fuckin’ asshole,” he blared with his hand on the horn.
Rolling her eyes, she stared out the window. Interstate 94 traffic was a beast during rush hour, but she couldn’t figure out why it was so packed in the middle of the day on a Friday. Sydney had timed her flight perfectly, hoping to avoid any traffic jams. She swiped her phone and pulled up her traffic app.
“Construction on Wayne Road, Red,” she said softly. “Maybe you can hop off and take the street.”
He flicked on his blinker without a word and took the next exit. From there, it seemed the coast was clear and she relaxed a bit.
“Red?” she asked, turning to face him.
“Her flight is probably pulling in right now,” he said, as if she hadn’t called his name. “I hope they stall her on board for a minute. We have another ten, fifteen minutes.”
“Red?” she repeated.
“Yes,” he grumbled under his breath.
“I want to talk to you about earlier.” She wished she could leave it alone. They’d seemed to come to an understanding, but it was still bothering her.
“What about earlier?”
“I didn’t mean to… I guess I didn’t think… About my mother… I’ve never told anyone much about her.”
“Except Syd?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Some things, but others I haven’t even told her. I don’t want you to think that I’m this selfish person. I really—”
“I don’t. No worries. And what you say to me stays between us.”
“I never told Syd about the hotel room,” she admitted, swallowing hard. “I was too ashamed.”
“Why would you be ashamed?” he asked, a deep frown on his face. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I struggled with it for a long time. I hate her, though. I still hate her for leaving me alone for so long, for telling me I was a mistake, for never being a mother to me.”
It wasn’t just that her mother had abandoned her all those years ago. There was more to her mother’s story: a history of psychiatric hospital stays, wayward men, and a long rap sheet. By now, Cali figured she was dead. At least that’s what she told herself so that she could feel better about the fact that her mother had never tried to contact her, never even came for a visit.
“My uncle told me she had a mental illness, but… it doesn’t matter.” Cali had asked her uncle what was really wrong with her mother right around her sixteenth birthday. Schizophrenia.
“We don’t have to talk about his, Cali,” Red said.
She knew that. But for some reason, she needed to say this to him. “The thought of me turning into that scares me every day.”
Cali had read countless articles, talked to numerous mental health professionals. All in an attempt to reassure herself that she wouldn’t become her mother, that she wouldn’t make the same mistakes her mother did. And she damn sure didn’t want to take the chance of continuing the cycle with a child of her own.
“I don’t think you could ever turn into that,” he assured her. “But I get it. No need to explain. That’s why we’re us, right?”
Is that sarcasm? If it was she wouldn’t address it. He wouldn’t be Red if he wasn’t a sarcastic asshole at times—no matter what his promises were earlier.
Finally, they parked at the airport and walked into the area designated to meet passengers. Cali took a deep breath and waited. She pulled her gloves off and dropped her cell phone into her purse. Unable to put a word to what she was feeling, she scanned the area around them, smiling when a little girl threw herself into a man’s arms, screaming “Daddy!” and hugging his neck. To her left, a couple embraced and held on to each other for what seemed like forever. And behind her, she could hear a woman screaming at her toddler to stay close to her and not step away “or else.”
Taking long, deep breaths, she willed herself to calm down. Syd was bound to notice that something wasn’t right if she kept it up. She’d never been able to hide much from her friend. Syd had a way of reading her like a good book.
Red was to her right, speaking with a man in an expensive suit. It seemed he knew someone everywhere they went. Whether they were in Burger King or Kroger, he always ran into a friend or a colleague. She watched as he slipped the man his business card and invited him out to shoot some pool while he was in town. They shook hands, with the man promising to give him a call, before the businessman jetted off toward a limo.
Red joined her after a few minutes. “I haven’t seen him in a long time,” he said, glancing at the business card in his hand before he tucked it into his pocket. “We went to high school together. He’s visiting family this weekend. I have to tell Morgan and Kent I ran into him.”
Shrugging, she wondered why Red felt the need to explain to her who the guy was. Sure, she was curious, but she’d never ask him. “That’s cool. Are you going to hang out while he’s here?”
“Maybe,” he answered. “Syd should be walking down any minute.” He tilted his head to the side, raised his eyebrows. “Are you okay?”
She nodded and adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder. Sighing, she tapped her foot on the floor and shifted. “I’m fine. Just ready to see Syd. I hope she’s okay. I can just picture her waddling with her big ‘cankles’ and a huge carry-on. Maybe she needs help. You should…”
She smiled when she spotted Syd, riding on one of those golf-cart-like things. She was seated in the front, next to a fine man with long dreadlocks and a body built like a football player. Her friend was munching on a sub.
“Syd!” Red called, waving his hand high to get her attention.
Syd scanned the area and smiled when she saw them. “There they are.” She pointed at them. “Hey!” she squealed.
Red barreled toward the cart and practically lifted his sister out. Syd embraced him tightly, her sub clasped firmly in her hand. When he finally let go of her, she motioned to Cali. “Girl, get your ass over here!”
Cali hugged her friend. “You’re here. Finally.”
“Yes, I am,” Syd said, stuffing some cash into the driver’s hand. Red had already grabbed her carry-on and Syd handed Cali her purse. “I think I stuffed too much in my purse last night. It is heavy. The seats were horrible. Luckily, I was able to upgrade to first class. I don’t think I’ve ever been so miserable. Yuck.” She rambled on about the horrible turbulence, the woman sitting next to her who talked about her ugly mother-in-law for the entire flight, and the lack of honey-roasted peanuts. “But this sandwich is so good. Want some?” She held it out to Cali.
Cali giggled. “You’re a trip. No. I don’t want your sandwich.”
“Great because it’s too good to share.” She patted Red’s shoulder. “Hope you’re parked close because these ankles… Morgan’s going to call and ask you if I’m swollen and I’d appreciate it if you lied. It was hard enough convincing him that I was okay to travel alone. Okay?”
“I’m not going to lie to my best friend,” Red told her. “But how about we get you off your feet so that when he calls, your ankles won’t be big as a log.”
She smacked him playfully. “I’m your sister. You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Well, Morgan isn’t going to come to town and try to beat me down for lying about your health,” Red retorted.
Cali hooked an arm inside Syd’s. “Let’s get you to the car. You did know we were supposed to head to Gabriel’s on the way home. You’re not going to be hungry.”
“Yes, I will,” Syd said, taking another bite of her sandwich. “I’m always hungry.” She burped, then gasped. “Oh shit!”
“What?” Cali and Red said in unison.
“I forgot my cookies.” She pouted.
Cali groaned. “Come on, girlfriend. I’ll bake you some cookies myself.”
“Um… I’m trying to enjoy cookies,” Syd said, skeptically. “Last time you made me cookies, you burned them. For someone who can cook her ass off, you sure don’t know cookies. Maybe Allina can bake me some? Where is she? Is she back in town?”
Cali cringed. She’d managed to avoid the topic of Allina for a while. Syd had asked about Allina often, but Cali always changed the subject. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Syd would demand to know where their other friend was.
The answer was simple enough, though. Their friend finally snagged her a man, and decided to devote all of her time to him. A few months ago, she’d followed him to Cleveland, Ohio. Syd knew all of that, but what she didn’t know was Allina had turned down an offer to take over the bridal shop where she worked and decided to stay in Ohio. It was an unfortunate turn of events for Cali because she and Allina had been finalizing plans to go into business together. Allina was a talented wedding gown designer. They’d decided to combine resources and start a one-stop-bridal-shop. With Allina making the decision to move, their business partnership was essentially done. In business, Cali knew there were no guarantees, even with a contract signed; only recourse. Allina was one of her dearest friends. As hurt as she was that their dream was placed on an indefinite hold, she couldn’t begrudge her for following her heart.
Cali had implored Allina to tell Syd about her move, but obviously that hadn’t happened yet. It seemed as if there was something more to the entire move. Nevertheless, she didn’t want to broach the subject until later.
“We’ll talk to her soon,” Red said with a big smile.
Syd was satisfied with that answer because her focus was back on the sub. Cali mouthed “thank you” to Red as they headed toward the car.
Red ushered Syd to his car and helped her sink into the front seat, while Cali climbed in the back. She glanced at Red as he jogged around the car and hopped into the driver’s seat. Things still didn’t seem right between them. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what could be done about it. The damage, it seemed, had already been done—by her.
Pulling her cell phone out of her bag, she scrolled through her e-mails. No fires to put out. Yes. Potential new clients. Even better. E-mail from her ex. Delete. Except… the e-mail said something different than the normal “I want you back, you’re the only one for me, I’m sorry” drivel. This time he’d called her a slew of names because she’d dared to not return his multiple calls and e-mails. Rolling her eyes, she wondered if he’d forgotten that he’d lied about having a wife and two small children. This time he would get a response, but it wouldn’t be the one he hoped for. Smiling at the sight of an e-mail from her uncle, she tapped the open button. She frowned as she read.
He’s coming?
“Cali?” Red asked, peering at her through the rearview mirror. “Did you hear me?”
“Um, I don’t… what did you say?” she stammered.
“Syd wants you to cook a big dinner tonight. Is that okay with you?”
With her mind still on the e-mail, she nodded and looked at Syd, who was eyeing her skeptically. “Sure. I figured you’d ask so I brought my clothes to spend the night at Morgan’s.”
Syd grinned. “You’re awesome! A peach cobbler?”
“Girl, you are going to be big as a house!” She told her friend with a laugh. “Slow down, honey.”
Syd’s mouth fell open. “Hey! I still do yoga and I walk every day. I’m just hungry, eating for two. I’m not big as a house, right, Red?”
He scratched his head. “So did you want to go to the mall first or straight to Morgan’s?”
“Red! I’m not big as a house.” She punched his shoulder. “Stop.”
Deciding to save Red, Cali chimed in, “Well, in my defense I said you’re going to be big as a house. Not that you are big as a house. And I was joking anyway. You’re beautiful, Syd.”
Obviously satisfied, her friend finished off the rest of her sub and took a big gulp of her water. “Morgan insisted I make an appointment with my doctor as soon as I get here. It’s at 3 o’clock. Do you mind driving me to the hospital later, Red?”
“That actually works out because I can stop by my office while you’re there.”
“I want to stop by the bar, too,” Syd added. Since she’d moved to Baltimore with Morgan, Red and Kent had been left in charge of their joint business. Their bar, The Ice Box, had been launched successfully and had brought in a steady stream of business. “Oh, Morgan’s house is too manly. I want to get started on the nursery in the next couple of days.”
Cali smirked. Her best friend’s mind was like a machine. It never stopped running, jumping from one subject to the next. What Syd didn’t know was that Morgan had already called ahead a few weeks earlier and put her and Red in charge of clearing out a room for the nursery. He’d hired contractors and everything. The only thing left to do was pick out the furniture. She couldn’t wait to see Syd’s face.
Syd pulled out her planner and jotted some things on the page. Guess it was time to handle business. She had helped run the bar from hundreds of miles away and didn’t miss a beat.
“I want to meet the couple who rented out my condo,” Syd said. “How are they working out, Red?”
Red gave her the 411 on the newlyweds who’d recently leased Syd’s condo. When Syd abruptly moved to Baltimore with Morgan, she’d asked Red to find her nice, working renters. Cali had considered moving in herself, but decided not to leave her beloved townhome, although it would have been nice to live closer to… Syd.
As Syd quizzed Red on details about the bar and the condo, Cali opened up the e-mail from her uncle again. He’d be in town in a few days, which was not like him. She’d usually have to pull a leg to get him on a plane to visit her and he’d booked on his own without telling her and attached his itinerary. She said a silent prayer that her only living family member was okay. Closing her eyes, she sighed and wondered what she would do if he wasn’t.