Cali let out a deep breath when Red walked by without seeing her. Damn, she’d been reduced to following him around the hospital. What the hell is wrong with me?
Unable to help herself, she’d followed when they left the room, keeping a safe distance. The doctor had answered all of their questions. What could they possibly have to talk about other than Syd? She hadn’t forgotten that she’d caught him eating with her in the cafeteria—before he even knew Syd was in the hospital. Frustrated, she considered bursting into the doctor’s lounge to let Dr. Love know that Red was off limits. But then she’d look like the fool she felt like in that moment, cowering behind potted plants and rolling carts to watch him. He’d smiled at the doctor like he genuinely enjoyed her company, like he used to smile at her.
Cali stared at a passing happy couple, parents-to-be, walking the halls. The husband rubbed his wife’s back gently and they shared a laugh and a hug. That was going to be Syd and Morgan pretty soon. She’d tried to convince herself that she didn’t want or need something like that, but she did.
When Red touched her, when he smiled at her, when he made love to her… everything about him made her want to take a chance. But then she’d let that fear, that need to be in control prevent anything meaningful from happening. She’d kept him at arm’s length for so long now that she had no idea how to pull him back. Or if she even wanted to. For all she knew, what she was feeling could stem from him breaking things off with her, or her need to “win.” Somehow I doubt it.
Cali looked up. Shit. She’d been so engrossed in her own thoughts she’d walked straight into another wing of the hospital. The Taubman Center was always busy, it seemed. Spotting a bench, she took a seat. Deciding to take care of some work, she pulled out her cell phone and checked her e-mails.
She deleted a message from her ex and marked his e-mail address as spam. That’ll teach him. There was a small fire with a vendor which she happily put out. Feeling like she’d accomplished something worthwhile, she closed the app, but her phone slipped out of her hand and fell on the floor.
Bending down, she picked it up. She was dusting it off, making a mental note to get a screen cleanser, when a familiar laugh sounded in the hall. Too familiar. She glanced down the hallway and her heart dropped. She stood up and headed toward the unsuspecting man—Uncle Cal.
As she got closer she heard him tell the tech, “Thanks. I think I can find my way from here. I’ll be sure to—”
“Uncle Cal?” she asked when she reached him.
He turned his attention to her, closing his eyes with a sigh. “Cali? What are you doing here?”
“I should be asking you the same question. I thought you were going to see your friends.”
“I did.”
“Why are you lying to me? What’s going on?”
He grabbed her hand. “We should talk, baby.”
Cali let him lead her toward a bench. Once they sat down, he wrapped an arm around her. “Remember you always used to ask me to stop smoking?”
Her heart seemed to slow as apprehension consumed her. “You’re sick.” It wasn’t a question because in her heart she already knew the answer. She’d known since he’d texted her and told her he was coming. “Is it your COPD?” Cali knew her uncle had Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, but as far as she knew it was a mild case and very treatable with lifestyle changes.
He sighed heavily. “No, it’s my heart. It’s gotten worse over the past year.”
“But you had bypass surgery already. Then angioplasty last year. I thought everything was going to be okay after that.”
“Normally it would be okay, but it’s not. They’re calling it end-stage advanced heart failure.”
She gasped. Closing her eyes, she took a minute to process the news. Most people lived with heart failure for a long time, but hearing “end stage” and “advanced” threw her. She needed all the facts. She needed to talk to his doctor. They’d get another opinion.
Her chin quivered and tears sprang to her eyes. End stage. She choked back a sob. Her uncle needed her to be strong. And she would be—for him.
“There have been so many advances in medicine, especially here,” he told her. “That’s why I came here. I wanted a second opinion.”
She could hear him talking but the words weren’t registering anymore. End stage. Visions of the one man who’d always loved her unconditionally—dying—flashed across her mind on endless replay. Suddenly, she was transported back to that hotel room, small and hungry and alone—until he’d saved her. He made her life bearable. She didn’t know how she would have made it without him.
“Right now, we’re talking about a transplant or even a mechanical heart. But you know how the waiting for the heart is the worst part.” He held her chin in his hands like he had when she was a child. “I’m not giving up, Cali. I did feel like I needed to see you, spend some time with you. Tell you what I need you to know in case.”
Taking long, slow breaths, she willed herself to keep calm. Advanced. “What’s next then?” she managed to get out.
“They want to run some additional tests. I have another appointment at the end of the week. I’ll know the plan of action then.”
Cali flung her arms around her uncle and held on tight. He embraced her as she cried softly.
“It’s okay,” he told her, his own voice thick with tears. She’d only seen her uncle cry a few times and it broke her heart every time because he was such a strong man.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, Uncle Cal,” she whimpered.
“It’s going to be okay. But it’s important for us to discuss some things.”
She jerked back. “No.” Shaking her head frantically, she hopped up. “I’m not discussing things with you.” Whenever sick people wanted to discuss things it meant funerals and burials. She wasn’t prepared to think about that.
“Cali, wait—”
“No. I can’t do this right now. My best friend is in the hospital in premature labor. And now I find out my uncle’s heart is failing. There is only so much I can handle right now. I don’t want to talk about you dying.”
“You’re being unreasonable. It’s important to talk about my affairs, Cali. You’re my family, my daughter, the only one I have to discuss this with. I want to make sure you have what you need to take care of everything.”
As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. They did need to have a conversation. But it wouldn’t be then, and certainly not in the hospital. She swallowed and exhaled slowly. “Fine. We’ll talk about it. Just not today. Why don’t I come with you to your appointment so I can hear what your doctor says? We can go to lunch or dinner afterward to talk.”
He stood up and pulled her into another strong hug. Cali peered up at the ceiling, angry that her life was spiraling out of control with every passing minute.
“Where is Syd?” he asked.
“Oh my God. She’s probably wondering where I am.” She grabbed his hand and took off toward the elevators.
* * *
Red rolled his neck and stretched his arms above his head. Syd had finally fallen asleep. He gently pulled the blanket over her shoulder. It had taken a minute for her to calm down. She’d been talking a mile a minute, worrying over everything.
Morgan had called—his flight would arrive in a couple of hours and he planned to head straight to the hospital. Red had offered to pick him up, but Morgan told him not to leave Syd. Red didn’t want to leave her either.
From the moment Red had learned to say her name correctly, he’d appointed himself Syd’s protector. Even as kids, he’d threatened other boys on the playground for pulling her hair or teasing her. Living apart all those years, he’d wondered if the bond would diminish, but he knew it was as strong as ever. He’d been ecstatic when she announced she was moving back to Michigan to attend college with him.
By the time she arrived on campus, he’d already warned the fellas on his hall that she was off limits, promising a beat down if anyone dared to challenge him. Syd was furious when she found out, because no one would go near her for the first few months. She couldn’t buy a date. Eventually, he’d let up on the reins and she went out with a few guys—until she was brutally attacked one night.
His sister had been through so much, so he’d been happy when she fell in love with Morgan. Red had expected to feel rage that his best friend had bedded his sister, but he’d surprised himself when he gave them his full blessing. He’d even encouraged Morgan to make the move, to admit he loved her. Looking at her now, he knew it had been the best move for her. Morgan made her happy and that was all he could ask for. And because happiness looked good on her, he wanted some for himself.
A soft knock on the door snapped Red out of his thoughts. He set his laptop down on the window ledge and said, “Come in.”
Cali stepped into the room with Uncle Cal on her heels. Things were tense between them, but he couldn’t deny he was happy to see her. Even when he wanted to throttle her, the sight of her face gave him peace, made him feel complete. “Look who I ran into,” she said.
Syd’s eyes opened, and she gave them a wobbly grin. “Uncle Cal? What are you doing here?” Uncle Cal placed a kiss on Syd’s forehead. “I’m here to see you. How are you? I heard you had a scare.”
“I did,” she said. “But the medicine worked. Contractions stopped.”
“Really?” Cali smiled and thanked God. “That’s so good, Syd. I’m so happy.”
“I’m so tired. It’s been a long day.” Syd closed her eyes and soon her light snore filled the room.
Cali’s smile faded. “Is that normal?” she asked.
Red, assuming she was talking to him even though she’d yet to look him in the eye, answered. “The doctors gave her something to help her relax. She needs sleep. They’re going to keep her overnight and she should be able to go home in the morning. Morgan will be here soon.”
“Do you need a break?” Cali moved Syd’s hair off her face. “Maybe I should put this in a ponytail for her? I can sit here with her if you need a break.”
“No, I’m fine. I’m going to wait for Morgan to get here. But you look tired,” he said, taking in her dark, swollen eyes. “Maybe you should go home and get some rest.”
Rubbing her eyes, she nodded. “You’re probably right. I’m thinking I should go home and grab some clothes and come back. I want to stay close. What do you think, Uncle Cal?”
Uncle Cal was still standing next Syd’s bed, his eyes trained on her intently.
“Uncle Cal?” Cali repeated softly.
“Yes?” Uncle Cal finally said.
“What do you think about going to my place with me so I can get a change of clothes?” Cali explained. “I want to stay close to Syd, so I’m going to get a hotel room in town.”
Swallowing visibly, Uncle Cal nodded. “Sure. I’ll ride with you. Let me make a quick call and we can go.”
Cali’s gaze followed Uncle Cal as he left the room, worry lining her features. She stared at the door a minute before turning back to Syd.
She gave Red a slight smile. “She looks so peaceful,” she mumbled, pushing another piece of hair out of Syd’s face.
“Are you okay?” he asked. Her eyes were glassy, like she’d been crying. He got up and rubbed the skin under her eyes with his thumb. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. “You’ve been crying?”
Averting her gaze, she busied herself with straightening up the bedside table and tossing empty cups into the bin. “Would you believe me if I said no?”
“Probably not.” He tilted his head to meet her gaze. “Well?”
She picked at her fingernails. He gently took her hand in his and squeezed. Sighing, she peered up at him. “I don’t know. I have a lot on my mind. Besides, I didn’t think you cared.”
“You know I care. Cali, breaking things off was supposed to preserve our friendship. No matter what happens between us on that front, I hope you know you can always talk to me.”
Red watched her eyes dart around the room and wondered which door she’d walk through—the door of truth or the door of holding back the truth. He wouldn’t push her.
“How are you?” she asked softly. “I know you’re scared.”
It was one thing he knew they had in common. Cali loved Syd almost as much as he did. “I’m better, now that I know she’s going to be okay.”
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked.
“What?”
“Do you like her? Dr. Love?”
Red resisted the urge to say something he’d regret later. At the same time, he wanted to be honest, if only a little evasive. “I do like her. Talking to her is refreshing. She listens to me, doesn’t pull away when we’re with each other. That’s… nice.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. I guess… be happy.”
That response was not what he’d expected. He’d put out the bait and she’d completely missed it. What else is new?
He inched closer to her. “Is that what you really want, Cali?”
The sight of a tear falling from her eye told him she was struggling with something. His heart skipped a beat at the mere thought of the struggle being about him and their relationship. But more than likely, he guessed she was thinking about Uncle Cal. The older man had called him earlier with the news on his health. He could only assume he’d just broken the news to Cali.
With her head held high, she sniffed. “If you’re asking me if I truly want you to be happy, yes.” Her voice cracked with emotion. “You know that I’d never wish anything less for you.”
Her eyes gleamed, her lips parted. Everything about her called to him, and he wanted to touch her.
“I do,” he whispered, now standing so close to her that he could feel the heat coming from her body. Sliding his fingers into her hair, he pulled her to him in an intense kiss.
She clung to him as he feasted on her lips, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she opened for him. The sound of the machines, Syd’s light snore… all of it faded away as they kissed. It had only been a day since he’d held her in his arms, but it had been too long. Their tongues dueled with each other and he wanted nothing more than to pin her up against the wall and make love to her right there.
Cooler heads prevailed, though, and he reluctantly pulled back. Leaning his forehead against hers, he said, “I shouldn’t have done that. I guess it’s a habit that’s hard to break.”
“I understand the impulse,” she breathed. “I feel it, too.”
He ran his fingers down the side of her face. “What do we do with this?”
“We can’t avoid each other.”
“So how do we do this?”
She backed away toward the far end of the room. “Keep a safe distance? Avoid being alone? That’s all I got.”
“It’s a start.”
Uncle Cal peeked into the room. “Ready to go, baby girl?”
Cali rubbed the back of her neck. “Yes, we can go.” She brushed past Red and rubbed Syd’s leg. Glancing back at him over her shoulder, she said, “Please let me know if anything changes. I’ll stop back by here once we check into a hotel.”
“Will do,” Red said. “Talk to you soon. Bye, Uncle Cal.”
Uncle Cal waved at him, planted another kiss on Syd’s forehead, and ushered Cali out of the room.
“Why didn’t you tell her you love her and want to be with her?” Syd slurred.
“Go back to sleep,” he ordered.
“I don’t get it,” she mumbled.
“You don’t have to.”
“You don’t get it, either.”
Red groaned. Syd knew him like no other and wasn’t afraid to call him out when he needed it. “You just worry about you and my niece or nephew. Take your ass back to sleep.”
Soon she was snoring again, and he was left with the irritating feeling that she was right.