It had been a week since Cali had stayed the night at Red’s house. Syd had been released from the hospital with strict instructions to stay in bed. They’d successfully stopped her labor and it was important to give the baby more time in the womb.
Red had been preoccupied with an important case. He’d called to check on Cali every day, and she’d seen him at Morgan’s place a few times, but they hadn’t been able to talk about their relationship because they were both focused on Syd.
It turned out to be just as well because Cali wasn’t in any shape to deal with anything other than her uncle’s illness and Syd’s upcoming baby. After crying herself to sleep several nights in a row, she’d resigned herself to her bad luck and tried to prepare herself for life without her uncle. He needed her to be strong for him and she’d do that.
They’d met with his doctors and she’d heard the devastating news—her uncle’s heart wasn’t strong enough to work properly and he wouldn’t be able to get a new heart or even a pacemaker. She’d left the office in a huff, with her mind made up to find a doctor who would tell her something different. But Uncle Cal had stopped her and told her that he was ready to… Cali swallowed, still refusing to even think the word.
She’d arranged to take a leave of absence from work. But Uncle Cal had ordered her to go back after she’d stayed in bed for a day with a box of Kleenex.
It was Christmas Eve, and the gang was gathered around the massive Christmas tree at Morgan’s house. Syd had been like a Christmas-tree-zilla. Her tree had to be perfect and, since she’d been ordered to stay off her feet for the remainder of her pregnancy, she’d spent hours barking at Cali about last-minute ornament changes and extra lights. As she stood before the completely transformed tree in front of her, Cali couldn’t say she blamed her.
“What are you thinking about?” Red whispered in her ear.
“I have to say, your sister is bossy but her tree is gorgeous.”
He chuckled. “So are you.”
Turning to face him, she grinned at the silly hat he was wearing. She squeezed the furry ball on the tip. “I guess you’ve been designated ‘Santa’ for tonight?”
“Well, someone had to do it. And since she is posted on the couch, and Morgan said ‘hell no,’ I’m it. Do you want to see what Santa got you for Christmas?”
He planted a soft, wet kiss on her neck. “Red, you know we haven’t had a chance to talk since I spent the night at your place. I think we probably should do that before we exchange any gifts.”
The tension between them had faded since she’d slept over at his place. When she’d seen him walk in tonight, for the first time since she’d resolved herself to Uncle Cal’s fate she’d felt at peace. And with the smoldering looks he’d been giving her all night, her desire for him was palpable.
“You’re right. It has been pretty hectic. Uncle Cal seems to be doing okay. He’s got the house smelling like heaven.”
Uncle Cal had insisted on cooking a six-course dinner for the evening, complete with five different types of dessert—for Syd, of course.
“It does smell good in here,” she agreed. “I think Syd is already in heaven. I saw her with a big piece of chocolate cake.”
“Correction. She had a big piece of cake until Morgan took it from her.”
Cali laughed, remembering how Syd had called her screaming because Morgan was monitoring her food intake like a hawk. She’d demanded that Cali sneak her some chocolate chip cookies. “She can’t be too happy about that. I’m going to go check on her.” She ran a finger down his chest. “Maybe Santa can schedule some time for me later? It’s long overdue.”
An hour after dinner, the gang was still on ten, telling stories and cracking jokes with each other. Cali had missed getting together with everyone. When Syd and Morgan had moved, gatherings with the crew became few and far between. They were seated around the huge sectional as Syd started to tell everyone about how Morgan had tried to beat down the phlebotomist at the hospital because he dared to give her more than a passing glance.
“That wasn’t it,” Morgan insisted. “The fool was so nervous, he could’ve nicked something. His hands were shaking and everything. I mean, I know my woman is fine, but…”
“I thought the man was going to pee his pants,” Syd explained. “Morgan shouted at him to leave everything where it was, get the hell out, and send someone else that could do the job without slobbering all over himself.”
“Damn, bruh,” Kent said, laughing. “You flipped the fuck out.”
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Uncle Cal said, giving Morgan some dap. “That’s how you protect your woman.”
“Don’t encourage him, Uncle Cal,” Syd said, kissing Morgan.
Cali stood from her comfortable position on the couch, needing to walk off that enormous dinner. Across the room, Red’s eyes devoured her as she sauntered toward the kitchen. During dinner, they’d sat on opposite sides of the table. Every moment, every laugh, every trip to the counter to retrieve more food, he watched her. He always seemed to know where she was and what she was doing. She wouldn’t have it any other way. And judging by the look in his eyes, he wouldn’t either.
She purposely brushed past him as she headed toward the hallway leading to the bathroom. Boisterous laughter echoed in her ears as she glanced back at him and smirked.
Entering the bathroom, all the confidence she’d had seemed to drain from her and she was left with a bundle of nerves. This wasn’t her. And this definitely wasn’t her with Red. They’d never had a problem being alone. Things were very different, though.
She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and it seemed to mock her. Who did she think she was? On the verge of trying to change everything about them? What the hell is my problem? Even as she asked herself that question, she knew the answer. He was her problem, like a drug habit she couldn’t kick. No matter how many men she’d dated, how many times she’d told herself it was nothing more than two friends helping each other out from time to time, she always ended up at his doorstep.
She heard the click of the door. “It’s about time.”
He stepped up behind her. Her heart pounded in anticipation as his eyes locked on hers in the mirror. As his breath fanned across her ear, her eyes fluttered closed. “Santa is ready to put you over my knee.”
She opened her eyes and grinned. “As much as I would love for Santa to give me a special treat, I think we need to talk.”
“How about we talk later? I can’t think of anything else but being inside you. Right now.”
She felt a blush spread across her cheeks and she turned to face him. Sliding her hands up his arms, she whispered, “I think it’s important that we talk now.”
He leaned against the vanity. “Okay. Let’s talk.”
“I spent the night—at your house.”
“Yeah, I remember. Is this going to be another conversation about how that can’t happen again? Because I don’t want to hear it.”
“No. I…” She sighed, frustrated that she couldn’t find the right words. “Well, I thought it was nice, waking up to you making breakfast.” Oh God, this isn’t coming out right.
He grabbed her hand. “Cali, you don’t have to thank me again. You know that, right?”
“I know. I wasn’t going to thank you.” She wrung her hands together. “I can’t seem to find the words when I’m trying to be open and honest with you about how I feel.”
“You told me a long time ago that you didn’t do anything you didn’t want to do.”
“Neither do you,” she countered.
“That’s right,” he agreed. “I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”
Cali thought about what she’d wanted to say to him over the past few weeks. Seeing him with Dr. Love had sucked and she hated knowing that he was technically a single guy. Even though she was scared of life with him, life without him would be worse. After she slept over, she’d realized that she wanted to spend more nights with him, wake up every night with him if she could. She loved him. She knew the words wouldn’t fix everything, but she wanted him to know it, to feel it.
Taking a deep breath, she said, “There has to be a reason why we keep doing each other.” Oh no. “I mean, not like that. But I… oh boy.” She ran a shaky hand through her hair. “I run a business. I talk to important people every day—politicians, CEOs, doctors. I’m never nervous, especially around you, but today… phew. I don’t know what it is. But you’re standing there, looking so good. All I can think about is being with you, but I feel like we need to have a conversation—if I can ever get it out.”
His mouth curved into a smile. “I think I can help you with that.”
“Really?” Exasperated, she blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Because I could sure use the help.”
He traced his finger down her cheek. “I think what you’re trying to say is you want to take me off the market.” His eyes gleamed in the soft lighting of the bathroom. “You want to be my girl.”
Covering her mouth with her hand, she laughed. “You’re a cocky son of a bitch.”
“But you want me to be your cocky son of a bitch,” he teased with a wink.
She dropped her head onto his chest and beamed when she felt him press his lips to the back of her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“What? An apology, too?”
Peering up at him, she nodded. “I’m so sorry, Red. I didn’t hear you. I was so dead set on what I wanted that I couldn’t hear you. Syd tried to tell me and I didn’t even hear her. Then seeing you with Dr. Love… The thought of losing you scared the shit out of me.” She placed her hand over his heart. “I love you… I want strings. I don’t want to just be your friend anymore. I want more. I wanted to tell you how I felt. Then things happened that seemed to shine a light on everything that could break us before we ever started and it scared me. But I’m ready to take the leap—if you are?” Tears sprang up in her eyes and she sucked in a deep breath. No tears today.
“I could’ve said something, too,” he told her, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I guess we screwed this up, huh?”
“I guess so,” she said.
“Can you… repeat what you said?” he asked. “I don’t think I heard it.”
“You heard me,” she said, giggling. “You just want me to say it again.”
“Please… say it again,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.
“I love you,” she said, her voice strong and clear. “You’re the only man I want. Everything that is good about us is worth the ride to me. I can’t take all the words back, but I do respect you. How can I not? You’ve never tried to change me, no matter what I’ve said or done. I know I can count on you to be there in anything. When I came to you that night, you could have turned me away. In fact, you had every right. I didn’t make it easy.”
Cali wasn’t naïve. Admitting that she loved Red was big. But learning to trust herself to take the chance and not let her fears dictate her actions was huge. There was still his daughter and her unresolved issues with her mother to contend with. Relationships were hard work, but she was willing to give it a try.
“I could never turn you away,” he said.
“I still don’t want to have kids, but if you’re willing to accept that—”
He placed a finger over her mouth. “Let’s not go there. I know that. I’ve always known that. It’s not a deal breaker for me. Never was.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but his lips were on hers, his tongue tracing the corners of her mouth, begging for entrance. He kissed her with a hunger and desperation that took her breath away. Her body trembled with the intensity and she groaned, sliding her tongue against his as he slowly backed her up. She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as he backed her into the open, standing shower.
She’d truly missed him—everything about him. When she was enveloped in his arms, she felt safe, like nothing could hurt her.
Finally breaking the kiss to breathe, she pushed his shirt off of him. She gasped when he yanked her body forward and kissed her again. He tugged her sweater over her head and unhooked her bra. Dropping to his knees, he slipped his hands under her skirt. Slowly, he pulled her panties down. Her head fell back against the tile as he kissed her knees, her thighs and then… She trembled when his tongue touched her core, circling her clit with his tongue before suckling it into his mouth. Raking her hands through his hair, she ground her hips in time with his tongue. She could feel herself unraveling as she sped toward orgasm. When she felt his teeth dig into the inner part of her thigh, she was done and she climaxed with a low, long moan as pleasure washed over her.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this here?” she said breathlessly. “Morgan’s going to kill us.”
“Fuck Morgan,” he growled.
Before she could say anything else he kissed her again, then turned her around and inched her skirt up again.
He nipped at the back of her neck and her shoulder, blazing a trail with his tongue back up to her earlobe. “Cali,” he whispered against her ear.
Bracing her hands against the tile, she breathed, “Yes.”
“I love you, too.”
When he entered her from behind, she closed her eyes and moaned. If there was one word to describe him and this moment, it was “perfect.” He was perfect for her and they were perfect together.
“I didn’t think it would feel this good to hear that.” She craned her head around and kissed him with everything she had as he moved inside her. He cupped her breasts in his hands and increased his pace. She met him with the same intensity as he gripped her hips, digging his fingers into her flesh.
He made love to her against the shower wall like they hadn’t a care in the world, let alone a house full of people in the den.
“Damn, you feel so good,” he murmured, biting down into her shoulder.
She shuddered as he slid in and out of her, winding her up like a doll on a string and holding her like that until he was ready to release her. He had all the control in that moment and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Smoothing a hand down over her stomach, he found her clit and pinched it, kissing her to muffle her moans. Pounding into her once… twice… a few more times before she came, shaking uncontrollably in his arms. He followed her with a low groan.
He braced one arm against the shower wall while his other was wrapped around her waist. When Cali was able to catch her breath, she turned around and slid down to the floor. He sat down next to her and they both laughed.
Wrapping her arms around him, she buried her face in his neck.
A knock at the door startled them and Cali’s eyes widened. “Oh shit. They heard us.”
He put a finger over his mouth, signaling for her to be quiet. “What?” he shouted.
“Red? What the hell are you doing in my bathroom?” Morgan called through the door.
“Don’t worry about what I’m doing. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“You know we heard you, right?” Morgan shouted.
Her mouth fell open and he pinched her lips closed. How embarrassing. More like mortified. If Morgan had heard them, Uncle Cal had too. Oh my God!
“Roc, just go,” Red demanded. “I’ll be right out.”
“Okay, fine. But I’m warning you… you two are going to get blazed on.” Morgan laughed.
When his laughter tapered off, Cali jumped up. “Oh my God, Red. My uncle is out there. He probably heard me—you—Oh my God.”
Red pulled up his pants, leaving them unbuttoned. “It’s cool. I doubt they heard us. Roc is messing with you. Every room in his place is soundproof and he did that for a reason. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“You better be right because I’m blaming everything on you if you’re not.”
“Good luck with that,” he grumbled, tossing her a clean washcloth from one of the drawers. “Why don’t you just take a deep breath and let me clean you up a little.”
Smirking, she wondered when they’d ever get out of the bathroom. But that was okay, too.