Self-Surveillance

You’re condemned to die.

You’re condemned to photograph

your death. Your camera is light but

feels so heavy. You press the shutter button

and fall for the first time. You get up

and continue. You meet your mother.

You ask if she remembers when

you fell out of your crib. She says,

“Your father and I are getting a divorce.”

She says “your father” as if he were

your problem now. You say,

“You already divorced him years ago.”

She says, “Some things you never forget

how to do.” You meet a man

named Simon. He helps you carry

the camera. You take a photo of yourselves.

You ask your mother if she remembers

when you fell out of that apple tree.

She says she’ll call you later,

after she divorces your father.

A saint named Veronica wipes

your face. You photograph your new face

and fall a second time. A pattern of falling

has clearly been established.

You get up expecting that you’ll soon

fall again. You’re a forever faller.

A future Hall-of-Fame faller.

You meet the women of Jerusalem.

They say they’ll do anything

for you. They’ll sing about you.

You’re famous. Your camera captures

everything. You fall a third time.

It’s your best fall ever. You’re

stripped and prepped for the end.

It’s a beautiful evening. An amazing light

surrounds you. You die on your camera.

You’re downloaded into the tomb,

then returned to the womb.

Everything seems possible.