Still battling the Seven Years’ War, the French navy is at this moment almost decimated and the country's debt is higher than ever. An article appears in the Gazette de France announcing that ships will be offered to the government by several cities, guilds, farmers-general, and banking groups. The clergy, always boasting of its “voluntary donations,” is absent from the list. So Voltaire invents an article from a London paper applauding the patriotic zeal of the clergy who, it claims, will pitch in too—pseudo-innocently revealing the massive fortunes of these priestly lords.1
We learn that our neighbors the French are animated at least as much as us by the patriotic spirit. Several bodies of this kingdom have indicated their zeal for the king and for the fatherland. They give up necessities to furnish vessels, and we learn that the monks, who must also love the king and fatherland, will donate out of their surplus.
We are assured that the Benedictines, who possess an income of about nine million pounds2 in the Kingdom of France, will furnish at least nine powerful vessels;
That the Abbot of Citeaux, a very important man in the State since he unquestionably possesses the best vineyards in Burgundy and the highest tonnage, will equip the navy with some of his barrels. He is currently building a palace whose estimated cost will be one million seven hundred thousand pounds, and he has already spent four hundred thousand francs on this house for the glory of God. He will have vessels built for the glory of the king.
We are assured that Clairvaux will follow this example, even though the vineyards of Clairvaux don't amount to much. But as the owner of just under forty thousand acres of woods, he is in the perfect situation to have some fine ships built.
He will be imitated by the Carthusian monks who wished even to precede him, considering that they eat the best seafood and that it is in their interest that the seas be free. They enjoy an income of three million in France with which to order turbots and soles. It is said that they will contribute fine flagships.
The Premonstratensian Order and the Carmelites, who are as necessary in a State as the Carthusians, propose to furnish the same quota. The other monks will donate in proportion. We have been so assured of this voluntary offering from all the monks that we would obviously have to consider them enemies of the fatherland if they defaulted on this duty.
The Jews of Bordeaux have contributed. Monks, who must be as good as Jews, will be enviously competitive no doubt to maintain the superiority of the new law over the old one.
As for the Jesuit brothers, we do not consider that they should be bled on this occasion, considering that France is soon to be purged of said brothers.
POST-SCRIPTUM
As France is a little short of sailors, the Prior of the Celestines has suggested to the regular abbots, priors, sub-priors, rectors, and superiors furnishing vessels that they send their novices to serve as cabin boys and their friars to serve as seamen. Said Prior has demonstrated in a fine speech how contrary to the spirit of charity it is to think only of one's salvation when one should be occupied with that of the State. This speech had a great effect and all the chapters were still deliberating when the postal service departed.