At the end of May, Anna held Levi’s arm tightly on their way to the wharf to say goodbye for the fishing season. She hoped to see Ben, as he’d promised, but the closer they got to the harbor, the queasier her stomach became. She hadn’t received another letter since his first, and that had been weeks ago.
She clung to her brother’s arm as he maneuvered them around a wood-planked sidewalk in front of a busy grocer. His recovery had been slow, but now he seemed as strong as ever, although more somber. She was glad that he’d be out at sea with Ben for a couple months, and she hoped it would lift his spirits.
Thinking of Levi’s childhood love for Emily, she couldn’t help but ask. “Do you miss her? I mean, as a friend. Now that she’s married.”
He cleared his throat. “No. No, I’m glad she married a wealthy man. It’s good for her—for the best.”
She nodded, stealing a glance at him. She hoped he meant it.
“Why did you tell me not to fall for Ben?” she asked. “It’s because you want me to marry a wealthy man, too, isn’t it?”
He put his hand on hers and nodded. “Ben’s a great man, but he has no house and no family nearby. I’m still holdin’ out hope that you’ll settle here in town, with someone already established and respectable.”
She nodded, then they fell silent. She let out a nervous breath and straightened her mother’s cameo brooch at the top of her white collared shirt, then tucked a brown curl into her high bun. She pinched her cheeks to add color and straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t believe she was going to see Ben after so long. How would it feel to look into his eyes again?
Levi cleared his throat. “Actually, I met a young lady. Her name is Elizabeth, and she’s going to write to me while I’m fishing.”
She leaned toward him, examining his expression. He seemed pleased, but not quite in love. “Why haven’t you brought her over to meet us?”
“I will. She’s spending the spring and summer in Oregon with her aunt, but she’ll return in the fall. I’ll introduce her to the family then.”
She couldn’t quite read him, but decided not to pry. She had so many questions about the girl floating around in her mind, but at the moment, all she wanted to think about was Ben.
When they arrived at the dock, Levi threw his bag onto the deck and greeted the captain and fishermen, climbing aboard. Waiting impatiently on the dock, Anna scanned the faces for Ben, and her chest began to tighten when she realized he wasn’t there.
“Anchor’s up in an hour, boys,” shouted the captain. He tipped his hat at Anna, and she returned the greeting with a friendly bow of her head, panic rising.
How long had they already been in port? Why did they need to leave so soon? She tried to get Levi’s attention to ask him where Ben might be, but he was at the far end of the boat with his back turned. An aching lump formed in her throat and made her turn on her heel.
Her brother’s voice called after her as she turned the last corner on the dock.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?”
She didn’t want to call out a farewell in case the tremor in her chest made her voice crack, so she simply blew him a kiss and waved her arm in a dramatic goodbye.
Levi nodded and put his fingers to his lips before turning back to his friends, looking a little choked up himself.
Clusters of bright pink and purple rhododendrons filled the streets with the scent of late spring. They usually brought her great joy with their short-lived blooms, but instead she felt angry as she marched home. She knew it was unfair; she hadn’t been sure she would see him. Still, it hurt. Sulking with her head down, she nearly collided with a large man as he rounded the corner running.
“Anna!” Ben said breathlessly.
She looked up and shook her head in disbelief, then reached out to touch his arm as if to make sure he was real. His hair was disheveled, his eyes focused on her as if she might disappear.
“Where were you?” she asked. “I mean, why are you running?”
“Captain said we could only stay in port a short time. Bad weather coming in,” he said, still trying to catch his breath. “Soon as we docked I ran to your house. But you’d already left with Levi, so I rushed back.”
He put both of his hands on her back and slid them to her waist, sending a shiver up her spine.
She could feel the joy creeping onto her face. “I really missed you.”
He glanced down at her lips, then away. After pulling her around the building into the alleyway, he kissed her cheek. He lingered there—longer than she expected—and the feel of his lips made her cheek tingle.
“I have to tell you something.” She felt her breath come faster. “I’m going to attempt to summit the mountain this summer with a mountaineering group. I wrote to the leader who said I’m welcome to come if I can come up with the money—”
“When?” Ben cocked his head to the side and ran his hand over his beard. “This summer?”
“Yes, I’ve been training—climbing snowy hills, carrying heavy weight—and I plan to keep getting stronger.”
He put his hand behind her neck gently. “When this summer?”
Her muscles relaxed against his warm hand cradling her head. Her movements slowed like molasses. “End of July.”
“I won’t be back by then.” He frowned. “Why don’t you wait for me, then we can train together and plan a trip for next summer?”
It wasn’t the worst idea, given that she still didn’t even know how to use the equipment, let alone own any. Doing it together would be exhilarating, but she felt her throat tighten at the idea of waiting another year. His eyes melted her, though.
“I don’t know.”
He leaned down and kissed her softly—just lips, mouth closed. After a few moments, he stepped back, dropping his hands away from her neck.
Her heart raced. She looked around to see if anyone had seen, but the sliver of sidewalk visible from the alley was empty. Everything inside her wished he would do it again, but she knew better, and so did he apparently.
“Wait for me. I promise we’ll do it,” Ben said with a twinkle in his eye. “Anna, I love you.”
Her heart squeezed. “I love you, too.”
“Then let’s do it together.”
She hesitated. “I need to tell you something. When Pisha was ill, and our doctor refused to see her…I asked Connor for help. And he did.”
“Oh.” Ben stiffened. “How did he help exactly?”
“Well we took his horse to the cabin.” She felt the blood rush to her face as she remembered holding Connor’s waist.
Nothing happened.
“He brought medicine to bring the fever down—Kiyotsa had gone to the reservation for medicine but hadn’t returned—”
“I see,” Ben said, his voice low. “I mean, I’m glad she’s okay. That’s the most important thing.”
He cleared his throat and looked toward the street. “I need to run back. So they don’t leave without me.”
“Oh, all right.” Emotion welled up in her throat.
He kissed her hand with a strained smile. “Bye, Anna.”