Tacoma, Washington
18 April 1890
Natalya gazed out the window into Commencement Bay to see another steamer coming into port, full of passengers. She hurried to grab the clean sheets from the line before the afternoon drizzle started. Tacoma had been buzzing ever since Washington’s statehood had been granted a few months ago, and many new families were settling in the area.
People came from all over the world, especially since the Northern Pacific Railway had made Tacoma the official end of the line in 1887. She didn’t quite understand that, since it did make one more stop north in Seattle now, but nevertheless, Tacoma was growing rapidly. She lived close to the railway terminus and within walking distance from the piers, and she enjoyed working for one of the finest dressmakers in the city.
When she’d arrived in Tacoma in the cold January of 1881, she hadn’t known where to go. An old German woman, Mrs. Schwarz, had seen her on the street and scolded her for not being dressed warmly enough in the snow. At first, Natalya had ignored her, annoyed the woman thought she was willingly and carelessly freezing herself, but Mrs. Schwarz had invited her inside for schnitzel and told her to warm herself by the fire. When she had told the old woman she’d just arrived in town alone and pregnant, Mrs. Schwarz had offered to let her stay in her spare room for a modest boarding fee.
One night had turned into a week, and they got along quite well. Mrs. Schwarz owned a small dress shop that she and her husband had run before he passed. She taught Natalya how to sew and soon hired her at the dress shop. Natalya had told her about Dmitri and that he was likely dead, but not that she wasn’t quite convinced of his death. She hoped he was out there somewhere, looking for her. She sent letters periodically to Seattle—no address, just his name in case he ever stopped by the post office.
She brought a wide-eyed baby girl named Cara into the world in the autumn of 1881. Mrs. Schwarz proved to be a great help; by that time, Natalya (and now Cara) had become permanent tenants in her home, and together the two women took care of the baby as she grew.
Over the years, the shop became a flourishing business with as many as five seamstresses employed. Natalya became skilled at tailoring, and she also took care of all the purchasing of fabric, materials, and patterns while Cara, now eight years old, split her time between school, learning to sew with Mrs. Schwarz, and helping her mother with chores. They’d been happier than many, even if Natalya had never been able to shake her nagging fear that Dmitri had simply left her.
Her mind returned to the present as she folded the sheets from the line, placing them neatly in a basket. Since their shop was running low on fabric, she had decided to make a large purchase in Seattle. She packed her and Cara’s things, everything they’d need for a weekend away, and left for the station. As the train pulled out of Tacoma, Cara looked up at her mom with big brown eyes.
“Mama, can we buy new lace for my Sunday dress?”
“Perhaps.” Natalya watched the trees go by in a blur. “You know, I haven’t been to Seattle since I was pregnant with you.”
As she said “you,” she touched the tip of her finger on Cara’s nose and smiled.
“Seattle is where Pa died, right?” Cara grabbed her mother’s hand and traced the edges with her finger.
Natalya hesitated. She touched the end of one of Cara’s braids and kissed the top of her head. “Yes. Let’s get you a new bonnet as well.”
The train slowly made its way through a deep valley with water on one side and a large, tree-covered hill on the other. The bright green buds on the trees seemed to light the countryside in a soft glow as they whizzed past. Deer stood motionless in the distance until the train blew its horn, sending them sprawling through the fields of yellow flowers and tall grass. When they arrived in Seattle nearly three hours later, it began to sprinkle, and they hurried to find the boarding house Mrs. Schwarz had recommended.
The next morning, they found a new bonnet and the lace for Cara’s dress. As they took the trolley, Cara’s eyes were wide. “It’s even busier here than Tacoma!”
Just before lunch, as they were about to go into Aurora Textiles on Second Avenue to look at fabric, the sky opened, and the sun finally shone through. Natalya longed to visit the place where Dmitri’s old cabin used to be. She wondered if it still stood or if it had been cleared for new settlers.
“How about a little adventure in this lovely weather?” she asked her daughter with a gleam in her eye.
Cara nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”
They purchased sandwiches and wrapped them in a cloth before starting in the direction of the cabin. It had been ten years, and so much of the town had changed, but she remembered the way she’d taken so many times that first year they’d arrived in America. But the forest was all new to her daughter, who had spent much of her life in the city. Cara was in wonder, carefully stepping over tree roots and jumping at foreign noises.
They stopped in the meadow of naked blackberry thorns to have lunch, then crossed the stream, eventually finding the cabin around three. When she saw the cabin in the distance, she told Cara to stay behind a tree while she inched forward to make sure it was safe.
As Natalya peered into the yard, a tan little girl with wild brown curls played with a doll while a copper-skinned woman worked in a garden planting seeds. She watched for a while and didn’t see anyone else, so she motioned for Cara to join her. Everything appeared mostly the same, and it was clear the property had been well maintained. The garden was new.
Heather walked out as they grew closer. “Are you lost?”
Straightening her shoulders, Natalya offered a friendly smile. “Not exactly. I knew the man who used to live here. Actually, he built it.”
Heather pulled a braid over her shoulder. “Oh, I see. Please, come in.”
They followed Heather into the cabin. Cara waved at Pisha, and the girl held out her corn husk doll for Cara to admire.
“My papa used to live here,” Cara said proudly.
As Natalya moved across the threshold of the cabin, memories flooded her—the ones she’d cherished through the years. They returned to her in vivid detail. The smell of the log cabin, the fireplace, the small window.
The two women spoke for quite some time while the girls played on the floor near the fireplace. Natalya told Heather how Dmitri’s land claim hadn’t been complete before he’d gone missing and how, without him, she’d had no reason to stay in Seattle. Heather told her about the changes and improvements they’d made to the cabin and about Michael purchasing the land from the government years ago.
Natalya wasn’t sure how to phrase her next question—the most important one—with the girls close by. She leaned in to Heather. “Have you ever found a body or remains nearby?”
Heather nodded solemnly. “A man’s body. I found him a half mile from here. His boots were showing under a large pile of snow. I searched the area and found this cabin. Brought him here and waited, but no one else ever came. I buried him. That was the end of January, many years ago.”
Tears brimmed in Natalya’s eyes. “Thank you. Where is he buried?”
“I’ll show you.” Heather brought them to a shaded area with wildflowers carpeting the ground, then left Natalya and her daughter there.
Natalya kneeled in the dewy ferns. She expected to cry, but a great relief flooded her instead. She finally knew the truth. “Your father’s buried here, Cara. He adored us, but he wasn’t able to be with us.”
Cara stood still, then knelt next to her mother. “I wish I could have hugged him, Mama. Just once.”
Natalya wrapped her arms around her daughter, kissing her neck and noticing how her skin still smelled as it did when she was a baby. But Cara was turning into a young lady before her eyes. “Me too, sweetheart.”
After a while, they returned and found Heather waiting outside the cabin. She motioned for them to come back inside. “I found a book. It was for you, but it’s not here anymore. My friend has it.”
How could she have missed it? “For me?”
“Yes. It was in the bottom corner of the trunk wrapped in brown paper. Beneath blankets. I didn’t see it right away—it blended into the shadows and wood.”
Natalya remembered sifting through the trunk, not being able to lift everything, pregnant as she’d been.
“Let me give you directions to Anna’s house. There’s more now than just a book. She can explain it all.”
Cara’s jaw dropped. “We aren’t going all the way back tonight, are we? That was such a long walk.”
Heather laughed softly. “Please, stay here tonight.”
Natalya agreed, and Heather made a bed of furs in front of the fire.
The next afternoon, Heather took them as far as the meadow and offered a heartfelt goodbye. Natalya held her daughter’s hand, hoping the girl couldn’t sense her nerves. What book had Dmitri meant for her? Was it supposed to have been her Christmas gift? Cara smiled up at her, squeezing her hand, and she felt a deep love for both her daughter and the man she still loved.