Staring intently at Linne as she slowly processed my explanation of mates and relationships in this realm, I pursed my lips to stop the sneer that threatened to overtake my expression. My life had been fairly shitty up until recently, but why would that streak just break all of a sudden?
The answer was that it wouldn’t – and having a mate from another realm was quickly becoming less ethereal and more annoying.
Linne’s lower lip puffed out as she thought, and my gaze flickered down to it automatically. For the past two days of her unconsciousness, I’d spent a good majority watching her as she slept and wondering how this would work. She was clearly beyond my league by a fuckton of football fields. For decades, I spent as many waking hours as I could honing my ability to fight; it was my only chance to make something of myself in a clan that was known for its fighters.
But Linne didn’t need a fighter, and I was at a loss at what to do.
“I do not understand.” Speaking up to break me from my thoughts, Linne’s gaze met mine from under furrowed brows tight with confusion. “There is no advantage politically to being…m – mates… Why do you want a relationship if there is no advantage?”
Pursing my lips together, my mind churned almost violently as I tried to find a different way to express my point. I hadn’t talked this much in my entire life, and it was frustrating trying to think of words.
At least she’s not asking me about my skin.
That relief wasn’t enjoyable, and she cocked her head in expectancy.
“I like you.” I have an undeniable urge to fuck you. Linne’s jaw nearly hit the floor at my declaration, and shock painted her face. Her wide eyes sparkled with disbelief, and if that wasn’t such a bad sign, I would’ve found it cute. “I want to be in a relationship with you just because. There’s no reason. I just like you.”
Goddess – I sounded like an immature teenager, but I just didn’t know how else to put it. I couldn’t tell Linne that the animal part of me wanted to tear into the sweet –smelling well between her thighs. I couldn’t say we had an irresistible attraction to each other that bound us for life. All of my other options implied she had no choice in what would eventually happen, and I didn’t want to destroy what little progress I’d made on that front.
The truth was, though, that she felt the mate bond – she just couldn’t figure out what it was.
“But you don’t even know me?” Confusion thickened Linne’s voice, and I nodded firmly as my mind went back to that night.
“I fought with you – you remember that, right? I know what I need to know for now from fighting with you. I want to know more. That’s why I want to be in a relationship with you.” I sound fucking stupid. Even as the thought blared between my ears, Linne finally started to seem to understand the notion, at least, of everything I was explaining. “Do you understand?”
‘Forgive her infantile mind, Derek the Lion.’ Stiffening at the male voice that caressed my brain, I glanced around until my gaze landed on the shimmering, ethereal raven from the hospital. His five eyes bounced between Linne and I, each one moving on its own, as he hopped across the bed and tossed his head to the side. ‘She is not accustomed to this realm yet.’
“Yes, I am, Muss. I am not used to shifters or relationships.” Defiant embarrassment laced Linne’s voice, and my lip twitched in a smirk as she went red in the face.
‘Just accept. You cannot understand everything, Linne. Derek the Lion does have a point – you fought together. That is enough here, in this realm.’ I never would’ve believed that a fucking bird – that wasn’t even real – was helping me get laid, and I licked my teeth behind my lips. Linne burned up to her ears, and she ducked her head to shove her fists in her lap before I opened my mouth.
“I won’t force you, Linne. I understand that this is hard for you – I get it.” A hacking laughter filled the thin space between my skull and my brain, and I caught Linne’s grateful, beautiful smile through narrowed eyes. Not to say that bending her over wasn’t important, but if she felt like she didn’t have a choice, it’d be rape.
And that shit was just unacceptable.
‘He gets it – he gets it because he is wounded physically as you are mentally, Linne. It is good… you will be good together.’ Sneering at the crow, I barely managed to hold back the snarl that curled my lip. The damn bird bopped his head, his black eyes sparkling with merriment. ‘See! He gets defensive as do you! Perfect!’
“Fuck off before I step on you, bird.” Muss hopped back at my irritated snap, flapping his wings even as he tossed his head from side to side.
‘I am trying to help you, stupid Derek the Lion. If you do not want my help, I will go. I promised to tell the human Chad when Linne wakes up, anyway. He will be more than grateful for my assistance.’
Shimmering and fading in the light that streamed through the window, Muss disappeared within the blink of an eye. Heaving a rough sigh, I ground my teeth together as the bird’s words rolled in circles in my mind. Rocking back on my heels, my body thrummed with tension, and I reached to rub and squeeze my discolored arm out of habit.
“I am sorry about Muss – he does not understand boundaries.” Speaking up from the foot of her bed, Linne offered a smile tinged with the guilt that swirled in her eyes, and I pursed my lips under furrowing brows.
“It’s not that…I learned a long time ago that my skin has advantages and disadvantages, and that I have to live with it.” Linne shot me a quizzical look, almost as if she didn’t believe me, and I frowned deeply. “What?”
“You are not happy, though…” Stiffening as she trailed off, I narrowed my gaze on her as she also tensed, and my heart stuttered in my chest at whatever she’d realized. “Do you like me but are not happy? Do I not make you smile as you do when you are happy?”
For fuck’s sake. Resisting the urge to groan and rub my palms down my face, I only clenched my fists at my sides and ground my teeth hard. Concern and unease flittered across Linne’s expression, and my thoughts raced trying to find a way to fix this fucking mess.
“Some people just don’t smile, Linne.” Surprise replaced everything on her face, and her brows shot up at my declaration. “Or they don’t smile often. Some people smile all the time, and others, not so much. It depends on the person.”
“Oh.” Accepting my response, Linne didn’t seem keen on continuing the conversation, and she climbed off her bed to stretch her arms high above her head. “I am happy you do not smile not because of me.”
My chest tightened with affection at Linne’s lack of grasp on the English language, and she flashed me a toothy grin.
“I smile when I am happy.” She was so fucking cute – but so fucking frustrating at the same time. Forcing my shoulders to relax, I only nodded at her declaration before she wandered past me and out of her bedroom. Exhaling slowly through flared nostrils, I turned to follow her as my mind whirred at a comfortable pace.
Getting Linne to understand certain parts of my world was going to be the problem, I realized. She could make the decision to accept or deny, but getting to that point wasn’t going to be without its challenges.
How in the Hell did Chad get her this far? The human must’ve been some sort of saint to deal with this shit; that, or he just had experience with children.
“Why do you not have parents? How did you come into existence if you were not conceived or birthed?” Flinging the question over her shoulder, Linne walked into her bereft living room and up to her little, makeshift workstation. For just a second, I ignored her question; she literally owned nothing but a bed, a small, old tv, and the rig in her living room. Even her clothes were stacked neatly on the floor against the wall, and I let the sheer bareness of how she lived distract me from her probing.
“My parents abandoned me when I was born because of my skin. I don’t consider them my parents, but they are out there somewhere.” Reaching to rub my left arm, I grimaced automatically despite having come to terms with this reality long ago. Soft, hazel eyes caressed the discolored side of my body, and Linne hummed quietly as my heart thumped hard in my chest.
“But you are beautiful.” My heart nearly stopped at her casual declaration, and my gaze flew from the floor to connect with hers. Linne’s expression alone told me that she thought her words were obvious, and she cocked her head with the most ‘duh’ look in her eyes. “You would be the most coveted man in my realm because of your skin. If you were Unseelie, you would be very powerful. Just even now – you are very powerful because of your skin.”
My brows shot straight up, a bark of harsh, humorless laughter choking me as it lodged in my throat. Covering my mouth with the back of my hand, I coughed hard, and an almost unfamiliar feeling wiggled to burrow deep in my chest.
Embarrassment.
“Thank you…but this realm – here – doesn’t see this like that.” Clearing my throat roughly, I lifted my arm to stare at the blotches that stretched over thick muscle. Distaste coated my tongue, and I flexed absently as a frown curved my mouth. “I remember wishing I had never been born because of the ridicule I got about my skin.”
“If you were never born, you couldn’t wish you were never born.” Honestly, I had no fucking idea what Linne meant by that, but she smiled at me as if she’d said something wise and encouraging. Nodding silently, I watched her turn to her work station; she was so obviously happy with herself that I didn’t even try to open my mouth. Instead, I focused on what she was working on, and I made my way to the table to watch her pick through materials.