Other Ties that Bind
Now that you have had a chance to learn the ropes, it is time to think beyond just tying up your partner and enter a whole new world of bondage convenience. For although a knowledge of ropework is an excellent basic skill to have, it is not necessary to use it exclusively. Think of it as learning Latin, a discipline that lays a foundation for further study. There are many other contraptions of confinement, some designed for the job and some adapted from other purposes. An introduction to these can save time on the tying, allowing more time for other, less restrictive endeavors.
Cuff Links
Handcuffs are probably the most widely known of the metal restraining devices. Unless you know escape-artist tricks of the trade (and many of their “tricks” are as simple as hiding a key or having a secret latch) these can be nearly impossible to get out of, even with a hacksaw. Handcuffs have probably caused more embarrassment than any other bondage accessory, owing to the Murphy’s law that states that keys are almost always lost or misplaced.
On the other hand, no accoutrement says “good cop/bad cop” better than professional handcuffs. It says you mean business. It says you are mean. Unless your sub has large limbs, they can also be used on ankles and in multiple combinations for very harsh and uncomfortable bow ties. I always keep a couple of sets in my domme box, for even if I do not use them often, they simply look so evil and ready to use.
They are also a collectible: while certainly not as cuddly as Beanie Babies, there is a black (and blue) market for vintage manacles, such as the English Darby cuffs and Tower cuffs. Usually, handcuffs are connected with a chain, but there do exist cuffs with rigid metal bars and others with single hinges. There are websites where you can pick up old iron ones or new aluminum ones. A good place to start, with links to several more sites, is Yossie’s Handcuff Collection at www.blacksteel.com.
On the downside, handcuffs hurt—and not necessarily in a good way—so proceed with extreme caution. They can chafe, they can pinch when being clasped on, they can cause bruises, and—if they are too tight—they can cut off the circulation to the hands and feet. They can also scar the Chippendale. They were designed for police, who probably don’t have a lot of playtime fun with bondage (although I could be wrong about this). If you plan to play this heavy, as always, be extremely careful. Never clasp handcuffs on too tight—always make sure there is at least a little finger’s width between the cuff and the wrist’s radial protrusion. Constantly look for any discoloration of the attached extremity.
And write this next tip down: Have spare keys. More than one set. If you are the submissive, have your own set. If you are a domme, have an extra set hidden where only you know, just in case the tables are turned, Heaven forbid.
Thumbs Up
If space in your domme box is limited, then this is the minimanacle you need—thumbcuffs. Ingeniously small, inscrutably efficient, they lock between the first and second joints of the thumb, or they can also be used on the big toes. It is a maddening feeling to be so lightly, yet so helplessly, restrained. Diminutive size does not mean diminutive performance, so all of the key precautions listed above apply.
A Better Fetter
More comfortable than metal handcuffs are leather manacles. These cuffs are adjustable and, with the addition of little luggage-style padlocks, lockable. They also look very hot. Some are even lined with fur and come in a variety of widths for extra comfort. Leather manacles on your slave allow for tying, untying, and retying into various positions quickly and relatively effortlessly. Special suspension cuffs, the only way I recommend full feet-off-the-floor suspension, have a device to prevent wrist stress, and are recommended if your “swinger” has carpal tunnel syndrome or the like. What also works well with these are double-spring clasps, available from any hardware store. You can combine these with chain, metal O-rings, and even rope.
If you don’t want to make a special trip to the bondage store, a wonderful substitute are the D-ringed cuffs used on a cable-crossover exercise machine. A perfect choice, they are extrasturdy to handle the strain of all those weight plates. They are made in leather, fleece-lined, and adjustable with a buckle. They also come in nylon, with infinitely adjustable and very innocent looking Velcro straps. (While we are on the subject, the cable-crossover machine itself is a great accessory for extension bondage. You can have your pet go from one workout to another.)
Go Ahead, Collar, You’re on the Line
Speaking of pets, nothing completes a leather manacle ensemble like a collar around the neck of your slave. Whether actually made for a large dog or a human, whether studded or all metal, or even the tall “posture” variety, collars more than anything else are the symbol of D/s servitude. The collar is to a BDSM relationship what the wedding band is to a marriage, although subs aren’t given a jeweled “engagement choker” as a prelude to the real thing. In D/s lingo, a sub would say she is “collared” (in a relationship and not looking) or “uncollared” (single and available). Sometimes, though, the collar is just a fashion statement, sometimes even worn by a top. I own several. One of my favorites, a gift from a submissive who owned a jewelry store, is a brushed sterling silver hinge-and-clasp model. I am hoping for matching handcuff earrings soon.
Collars are more than symbolic, however. With their attached rings, they are a relatively safe way to use the neck in bondage, as long as it is not used to suspend the slave (I think the technical term for this is hanging and the legal term is homicide—so DON’T do it!). The same precautions for tightness are even more critical around the neck than with other extremities. The rings on your slave’s collar also share the same use as those on your Doberman’s, a place to anchor the leash. Sit! Heel! Beg! Good boy.
Chaining Training
Chains are so much a symbol of the bondage experience that when paired with whips, as in “whips and chains,” the phrase is shorthand for the entire D/s lifestyle. Chain is a heavier statement, both figuratively and literally, than rope. Some submissives are really into the weight of the chain wrapped tightly around the body (more Jacob Marley than Bob, who would of course be done up in hemp). Chains can also be clasped or locked to the above-mentioned handcuffs and manacles. Freezing the chain first is fun and a guaranteed eye-opener for your chilled consort.
High-Priced Spread
A novel way to achieve extension bondage is with spreader bars pushing the limbs out as opposed to rope tethers pulling the limbs out. These should have rings or holes at the end to tie or clasp the ankles and wrists so they are far apart. Some more costly bars have manacles built into the ends; some even have collars built in the center. Escape from these is very difficult because the hands can’t even get near each other. Plus, when used on the legs, it gives great access to “a cute” angle opposite the spreader.
Out of Sight, in a Bind
A blindfold’s importance to bondage deserves a chapter unto itself, but both the theory and application of one is so simple that a couple of paragraphs will suffice. Blocking the sense of sight increases the vulnerability the bottom feels and enables entrance into that most D/sireable of places in the solar system, “subspace.” It also gives the top a chance to relax a bit, maybe make an adjustment in her underwear, and to climb down off the imaginary pedestal for a breather. A blindfold can greatly increase the sensation, and anticipation of sensation, that spankings, floggings, and tactile play with feathers and rougher objects deliver. Any cloth can be used to blindfold, plus there are many styles of premade blindfolds (like the free ones given on airplanes). Victoria’s Secret has one in satin and lace that is Kitty Carlisle proper, or you can go to fetish shops and pick one up in leather or rubber. Be sure to use clean equipment, as the eyes are very susceptible to infection.
Bondage hoods or helmets, at the far extreme, can also be used to blindfold. They either have no eyeholes or have attachable blinders or zippers sewn in over the eye cups. (Whatever you do, make sure your sub can breathe!) There are safety precautions with blindfolds, of course: don’t tie them too tightly—once again, for circulation reasons—and be careful if you are leading a blindfolded subbie around because removing the sight also seems to remove balance. But even more, a blindfold is a powerful psychological tool that can have unpredictable, even frightening effects on some. Hey, it’s dark in there, so once you get it on your sub, watch any jokes about last cigarettes.
Plastic Fantastic
Tie wraps may sound like a spicy enchilada from Bangkok, but they are a most efficient way to strap somebody up. Also known as cable ties, these self-latching plastic straps were used by engineer types to hold wire in place before law enforcement officers caught on that they make great lightweight handcuff substitutes. They can be obtained from the local Radio Shack or other electronics wholesaler or warehouse in a range of sizes and lengths, from gargantuan to lilliputian. They come in designer colors, including a shiny black that will coordinate well with your patent leather.
The little ones work well for toe bondage, but do not use them as cock rings. The pain of digging into an engorged member with side cutters is unbelievable (I’m told), and the downside of tie wraps is that after one use, they must be cut off, which will not get you bonus points with the local recycling committee. A reusable tie wrap that has a release latch does exist, but these are not as good for bondage because the same latch that makes them reusable makes them escapable. Be very careful not to get tie wraps too tight, because they can definitely and easily impede circulation.
Packing Straps
Relatively new to the bondage scene are very nifty little devices called packing straps. They are all the rage on back-packs, fanny packs, and the like. Packing straps are fastened with a unique male/female plastic clip, which is still adjustable when fastened. The beauty of these is that they can be connected in series, so you can line up as many as you need to strap down your strapping linebacker. A hint: you may have to tie a quick overhand knot at each buckle to keep the adjusting strap from sliding out under the constant strain of wriggling. Still, this is easier than learning all those other knots. Choices of color, including patterns, build on the basic black.
Wrap It Up, I’ll Take It
Another innocent-looking and really fun bondage item is the shrink-wrap roller, available for a few dollars at mailing centers and U-Haul-type rental locations. The applicator is basically an easy way to apply yards and yards of Saran Wrap-type plastic to your lover. This also comes in different colors, and provides what is probably the easiest, most enjoyable bondage experience one will ever have. Your submissive sausage in full-body condom will be a wonderful, wrapped-up work of art. Stronger submissives can break through, so tying the joints at key contact points for reinforcement is wise. If they are tied underneath, they will not need to be tightly tied, because the plastic wrap will keep the bonds in place. Also, wrapping works better if you start with a naked subject, but be sure to leave erogenous zones uncovered for easy access (and be sure to stay away from the face!). Judging by the typical amount of perspiration, this may also be a good weight-loss regimen.
You can use a roll (or several) of Saran Wrap, but of course this is not as cost-effective. You can also use the stretchy plastic as a soft and forgiving rope substitute by simply bunching it up and tying your normal knots. Use pink for girls and blue for boys.
Strip Tease
For comfort, convenience, and camouflage, sometimes the best ties are ones you make yourself. Cloth, or even “pleather,” purchased from a fabric store, about two yards long and cut into four-inch widths and folded over, is perfect. These ties can even be hemmed to prevent unraveling. When knotted and pulled tight, however, these can be hard to untie, so remember your slipknots. Leather and imitation leather can be used to hold metal O-rings at various bondage points along the limb, like makeshift manacles.
Ribbon, in a multitude of widths and colors, is a very festive way to tie up a loved one, making a lovely wrapped package. Some insist on at least 250 thread count for strength—the higher the thread count, the finer the quality and softness of the ribbon. I have at least two widths at my disposal: 3/4′ and 1/4′. The wider lends itself to most bondage situations, although you may want to take special care to “slip” your knots, for unless you do, ribbon is best untied with a knife. O-rings tied in place with ribbons are an elegant substitute for the manacle material listed above. Thinner ribbon works well on fingers and toes and is great for weaving a bundle of joy around your male masochist’s member.
Clothes Stake the Man
In a pinch, any long, soft article of clothing can be used for tying purposes. Stockings, preferably ones that are already ruined, are decent for this, and it will give your man a charge to be bound in something that earlier caressed your legs. Conversely, I love men in neckties, because I like where the neckties point, and I adore having a perfectly acceptable, built-in leash already on him. But the necktie can also be used as a tying strap. Most are long enough that you can tie a wrist and still have enough left to fasten to a bedpost in a spread-eagle tie, but if you come up short, just remember your sheet bend from chapter 4 to join two ties together. Be forewarned that heavy use in bondage can pretty much ruin a tie, so don’t expect to use his Armani. But you can buy old neckties by the gross at yard sales (although the patterns are also pretty gross). Belts, too, can be used, but it seems the holes never line up with the buckles where you need them and a strapping male can sometimes break the cheap buckles they put on belts. Because of these failings, I prefer another kind of belt, a Black & Blue, accompanied with salt and a lime wedge.
Crossing the Line
As you progress in your skills, you may feel the need to have elaborate toys such as pillories and racks. Some get pretty complicated and they are always hard to explain (“Oh, our cotillion had a Spanish Inquisition theme this year!”). But an accessory like the X-shaped St. Andrew’s cross, complete with eye-bolt tie points, can be a wonderful addition to your romping, especially once you get into the finer points of flogging. Each leg of the X gets a limb lashed to it, with the submissive facing either toward or away from the cross. Pay special attention to where X marks the spot. With the addition of wing nuts (and I am not just talking about you and your boyfriend) this device can be disassembled and stowed out of site, or used to hang bicycles in the garage.
Nicolas Caged
Bondage, taken to its most ridiculous extreme, can include full-coverage bondage accessories such as cages. Cages are a nonbinding way to imprison your lover. They can be purchased from bondage stores or catalogs, or you can use the larger folding metal dog kennels. However, because of the lack of tactile interaction with my slave, this entre vous method, for my tastes, really takes the bon out of bondage.
Binding Contracts
All of these bondage methods can be fun, and collecting the paraphernalia is part and parcel of the D/s experience. Although you may know more knots than a boatswain’s mate, you will learn to appreciate the time you saved by not tying knots all the time. And, will you really feel you have that slave under your thumb until you clasp his in thumbcuffs and buckle that dog collar around his neck?
D/tails:
All Trussed Up with No Place to Go—A Story of O-rings
Here is an example of how you can incorporate the other ties described in this chapter with rope to create an elegant yet economical, very versatile bondage ensemble.
You will need:
- EIGHT yards of 250-thread-count, two-inch-wide satin ribbon cut into one-yard lengths. Color is optional, but black is always in good taste. If your budget permits, two-inch-wide strips of kid leather are an excellent substitute.
- ELEVEN 1 1/2-inch chrome O-rings (any hardware store has these).
- SIX double-ended, spring-loaded chrome clasps (also in hardware stores, next to the O-rings).
- THREE 1 1/2-inch split-rings (like heavy-duty key rings, also in the same department of hardware stores).
- ONE three-foot pole (“spreader bar”). It can be a one-inch wooden dowel, metal tubing, or even one-inch PVC pipe. Drill three holes big enough to accommodate the split rings near each end, and one in the center, and sand any rough edges.
- At least ONE ten-foot length of 1/4-or 3/8-inch rope, with ends whipped.
- ONE sub, suitably dressed (or undressed) to your satisfaction.
- ONE roll duct, gaffer’s, or adhesive tape; optional.
Before you start with your subbie, fit the split rings through the holes drilled near the end and center of your spreader bar. Be careful not to break a nail trying to negotiate the split rings.
Show a little affection to your sub, and then begin by taking one of the chromed O-rings and one yard of ribbon. Loop the ribbon through the O-ring and around the upper arm of the sub, just above the elbow, at least twice (or as many times as the circumference of the arm will allow). Make it tight, but still loose enough to be able to slide the ring under the ribbon and leave enough ribbon to finish in a slipped square knot, or a full bow knot if you are feeling festive. Repeat this on the other arm, and at each wrist, each ankle, and just above each knee. When finished, your sub will have eight ringed tie points on each limb near each of the major joints, which can be used in a variety of ways to restrain your sub.
Have your sub kneel. Fasten two of the double-ended clasps together and use them to join the O-rings on the bonds above the elbows behind the sub’s back. If the anatomy allows, one clasp can be substituted. One clasp is used to fasten the wrists, also behind the back. Before clasping the wrists, slide the clasp through another O-ring. This will become of use later as a tie point. Spread the legs of your kneeling sub and hook each ankle to the split rings at the end of the spreader bar using the double-ended spring clasps.
Next, take a length of rope and the two remaining O-rings and make a crotch tie on your sub. Thread an O-ring through the rope so it ends up in the exact center. Placing that O-ring just below the navel of the sub, take the two running ends in opposite directions around his waist to the small of his back. Thread the two running ends through the remaining O-ring and continue on around the waist to the front ring. Thread both running ends (still in going opposite directions) through the O-ring on the front, then go between the legs and on either side of the genitals, up between the buttocks, and through the O-ring at the small of the back. Go back through the legs, retracing the same path, and tie off to the front O-ring with either a slipped square knot, or, if there is enough leftover rope, two adjustable taut-line hitches (one in each running end). This should be quite tight.
Take one of the remaining spring clasps and clasp the O-ring on the wrist clasp to the split ring in the center of the spreader bar, ending up in a position similar to the “camel pose” (see chapter 11). If you want, you can tape the spring release of the clasps for added security, as a dexterous sub can release them. You can finish with tape over the lips, if you choose.