Preface

Every parent knows the feeling. Children grow and mature, and the next thing you know they’re off on their own in the world. A strange brew of excitement, pride, awe, and a dash of anxiety churns inside as they forge their destiny. While my lot in life does not include children of my own, I am blessed to have stepchildren and have witnessed firsthand the wonder of growth that comes with experience.

 

I feel that same sense of wonder at the emergence of this Second Edition of The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic). TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) has matured during the nearly three years since its inception. Ways of explaining and applying the frameworks and processes found in this book have been honed and refined during this time. In my interactions with participants in seminars exploring and applying TED*, through countless conversations, and from the personal e-mails and the stories of those who are actively using this book with positive results, it is clear that TED* is making a contribution to people in all walks of life.

 

When people realize that they can be “at choice” no matter what the circumstances, they feel empowered rather than diminished as they face whatever challenges life brings. Further, they report the excitement and release that comes from reconnecting with their innate capacity to create outcomes in their lives. As I blurted out during an early seminar, “I am delighted to see that TED* plays well with others!” What parent doesn’t beam when hearing of the positive impact their child has had on other people?

 

And so I am pleased to report that TED* is making a difference in a wide spectrum of people, places, and situations. There is the physician who wrote, “The Power of TED* provided more insight into interpersonal relationships and the potential dysfunction of human relationships than my psychiatry rotation and the years of working in a public hospital.” The CEO of a highly successful business shared, “Our entire executive leadership team read TED* and . . . it has allowed us to be more aware and thus make different choices about the roles we play. It is a useful, effective, and powerful tool in our leadership tool kit.” A helping professional e-mailed, “Here I thought I would gain knowledge to help others, and yet I discovered that I was the one who needed the guidance. . . . I’m already aware of the significant impact reading your book has had on me, and I believe my life will be forever changed. I’m going to read it again and again until my practice becomes habit.”

 

Over the years I have heard and witnessed many other stories of TED*’s helpful influence. I remember the woman whose house was damaged in a tornado, yet she realized she was at choice as to how to handle the victimization she experienced. Then there was the employee who recognized the unworkable ways he reacted to workplace stress, and who was relieved to discover more effective ways of responding. The parent of a preteen proclaimed the commitment to shift from Rescuer to Coach in her relationship with her adolescent child. And perhaps most powerful of all, the federal prisoner who wrote, “When I read the book, the puzzle came together,” and who is now teaching TED* to fellow inmates.

 

The list goes on, of course. (Have you ever noticed how parents love to tell stories about their offspring?) I couldn’t be happier to know that TED* is fulfilling its purpose in the world!

 

So what exactly has changed in the second edition of The Power of TED*? “Not much,” is the short answer. The frameworks and dynamics are exactly the same. The story has been tweaked here and there to make it a bit more grounded in the telling. The models and diagrams have filled out a bit. How “shift happens” between the Victim and Creator orientations and the roles of the Dreaded Drama Triangle and TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) have slightly expanded as the pathways have become clearer. In short, TED* has matured.

 

In the sharing of TED*, I have matured, too. I’ve discovered a paradox at the heart of this work that is becoming clearer all the time. While TED* is simple, it’s not an easy (nor always a graceful) way of being. It is at once simple and complex. As my friend and colleague Molly Gordon, MCC, points out, “TED* is utterly simple and endlessly nuanced.”

 

Those who have committed themselves to enhancing their capacity to be a Creator are now choosing their responses to all that life offers. As they choose to create envisioned outcomes, they are finding it’s not a one-time choice, nor a solo journey. Some are forming informal TED* “user groups” —or TUGs. (Living in the Puget Sound region of the Pacific Northwest in the United States, I often see tug boats helping guide huge ships safely into harbor, so this seems an apt name.) A TUG serves as a “collaborative learning community” in which people come together to support one another as Co-Creators; to share best practices; to explore breakdowns and breakthroughs; to be Co-Coaches and Co-Challengers. To learn more about a TUG near you or how to form one, please visit the TUG section of our website at www.powerofTED.com.

 

You’re also invited to visit the “TED* Stories” section of the website, where you’ll find a growing number of e-mails, letters, and stories submitted by readers, telling how they have used TED* to make a positive difference in their own lives as well as in the lives of others.

 

People make The Empowerment Dynamic vibrant. By itself, it’s no more than a good tool, something that could make a difference if people chose to use it. TED* comes to life when you put it into practice in your life and relationships—when you share the journey with others. I still marvel at how well TED* plays with others, and I thank you for choosing to join in. Welcome!