Music pounded out of the club, echoing into the streets. Riley sighed as he watched people pour in and out, wrapped around lovers, draped over friends, stumbling alone, laughing, crying, puking in the nearby gutter. They reeked of sex, booze, and sweat when they passed near enough for him to catch a whiff. He watched them go in, hopeful, lustful, happy, bouncy—and part of him wished he felt the same way, but he didn’t.
His reason for being here tonight involved those feelings. Drew insisted he was wound too tightly right now and told him to go relax. Well, okay, Drew told him to get laid. Riley didn’t tell his new friend about being gay yet. He needed to figure out how to deal with it when it came to work. However, Drew had a point… kind of. He needed to unwind, to relax, and if he managed to get laid in the process, wonderful. Now, here he stood in front of Angel Falls’ most popular gay club, for the first time ever.
An hour later, he sat at the bar, sipping a Jack and Coke. Alone. It didn’t help that Riley didn’t know how to approach a guy since he’d never done anything like this before. Someone sidled up to the bar in the empty space next to him. Riley stared into his drink, contemplating if it was too soon to go home.
“Please tell me a sex god like you isn’t drinking to nurse a broken heart,” a smooth voice next to him said.
Riley turned his head to find an attractive guy smiling at him while he leaned against the bar. Riley grinned at him. “Does that usually work?”
“I’ll tell you in a few minutes. First time I tried it.”
Riley chuckled and spun to face the guy better. Around six feet, with russet hair, chocolate eyes, and the most adorable smattering of freckles across his nose, he intrigued Riley. He also gazed at Riley like he wanted to eat him alive, and Riley didn’t believe he would mind.
He stuck his hand out. “Riley.”
The other guy took his hand, shaking it before letting his fingers caress Riley’s hand as he let go. “Brian.” His gaze raked over Riley as he licked his lips, and Riley’s jeans tightened. “Why don’t you let me refresh your dry glass and let me know if my line worked?”
Riley nodded, swallowing hard against his jumping nerves. This evening was looking up.
Brian, the club, and the music faded away as a mist rose, enveloping him. Words came out of the mist, words he recognized, words he remembered.
“I love you. We can make this work.”
“You have to stay again? Can’t someone else do it?”
“You’re never here, Riley. I want you home more.”
“You’re canceling our date again! When exactly am I on your schedule?”
“Why can’t you just get a real job so we can have more time?”
“I’m sorry. I am trying to be understanding.”
“I really need you for this one. They are insistent on meeting my partner.”
“Don’t forget, you promised.”
The mist cleared, revealing the precinct. Riley with his cell phone to his ear, Drew sitting and watching, his brows drawn together and a frown gracing his face.
“You fucking promised, Riley!” Brian’s angry voice echoed over the phone.
Riley dropped his head into his free hand, sighing softly. “I’m sorry, Brian.” Riley’s voice pled for him to understand. “We have a break in the case, and we have to move on this info tonight. You know I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t need to—”
“No, I don’t know that, Riley.” Brian’s voice went cold with fury and hurt. “Whatever is so important can surely wait until tomorrow. Come home so you can change, then we can go. Come home now, Riley… or don’t come home at all.”
Silence descended across the line, and Riley moved the phone from his ear to find that Brian had hung up. He glanced up, meeting Drew’s sympathetic gaze.
Drew, the precinct, and the phone faded as the mist rose again, swirling in colors around Riley. Indistinct voices sounded out of the mist, anger clear in them. Slowly they resolved, became clearer.
“You knew how important this was, Riley!” The mist slowly dissipated, revealing Brian, his white dress shirt half unbuttoned, glaring at Riley in the foyer of their apartment. Brian ripped off the tie hanging from his neck and threw it across the room.
Riley dropped his gaze to his feet guiltily. “I said I was sorry. It couldn’t be helped.”
“God! Do you have any idea how tired I am of hearing sorry from you? You’re never here. I needed you tonight. This promotion was a big deal, and all I asked of you was to show up, to show them that the partner I’ve talked about so often was real. That I didn’t make him up since he never shows at functions. I guess that was too much to ask.”
The anger left Brian’s voice, leaving resignation behind. Brian met Riley’s eyes, the sadness in them ominous, and a shiver of dread ran down Riley’s spine.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Despite the soft tone, Riley felt like someone had punched him right in the gut.
He shook his head as if the action alone would stop Brian from saying what he dreaded.
“I said if you didn’t come home for this, not to come home at all. I meant it, Riley. I’m done playing second fiddle to your hero complex. I love you, but it’s clear the only thing you care about is feeding that ego of yours. Get out. Go sleep at Drew’s and get your stuff tomorrow while I’m at work. If you ever decide to stop playing at being a hero and get a real job, maybe we can talk about us again, but no one wants to date a guy who hasn’t matured beyond his childhood fantasies.” Riley’s ears buzzed as Brian turned and headed toward the back of the apartment.
“Brian,” Riley’s voice broke as he tried to hold back tears, “please, don’t—”
“We’re done, Riley, get out.” Brian didn’t even bother to face him. The buzzing in Riley’s ears grew louder.
“Brian…” The buzzing was deafening now; making it hard to think. Buzz … Buzzz… Buzzzzz.
“Goodbye, Riley.” Buzzzzz… Buzzzzz…
Riley rolled over and turned off his alarm, the remnants of the memories swirling in his head. Sighing as he sat up, Riley let the blanket fall around his lap, baring his naked chest. Still dazed from the memories he gave little thought to in recent months, his gaze swept the room, half expecting to find Brian glaring at him from the doorway. As sleep evaporated, Riley groaned. His conversation with Drew last night apparently brought those memories to the surface.
No wonder he was unable to ask Nick out when his boyfriend ended up growing to resent his job. Sure, he told Drew he believed Nick could handle it, but he believed the same about Brian.
Riley headed to the bathroom to take care of his morning routine, mind still on last night. Why had he wimped out? Nick gave him the perfect opening, and he completely ignored it, too afraid Nick would be intimidated or believed he joked, which might be worse. Maybe Drew was right; maybe his balls went missing. Hell, dangerous situations were a norm in his life. He never hesitated to go through a door, to shoot when necessary.
But put one hot guy in front of him, and he turned into a babbling idiot.
Pissed at himself for his behavior, he got ready, scrubbing a bit too hard in the shower.
When he made it out to the living room, he glared at the red and chrome coffee pot on his granite counter, once again failing to auto-start the coffee. Well, he sure as fucking hell was in no mood to deal with it. It might be time to get a new one.
Deciding to grab coffee and breakfast on the way into the station, Riley removed his gun from the safe, secured it in his holster, grabbed his wallet, badge, and keys and headed out the door. He locked his door and turned to the elevator, nearly crashing into Nick, who was coming out of his apartment.
“Oh, shit! Sorry, Nick.”
“I-It’s okay, n-no harm,” Nick stammered, the most charming blush spreading across his face.
Riley suppressed a sudden urge to caress Nick’s flushed cheeks. Shoving his hands into his pockets to avoid acting on the impulse, Riley took a moment to appreciate how good Nick looked this morning. Dressed in black slacks and a wine-colored button-down, a leather messenger bag slung across his chest, Nick appeared to be headed into work.
Nick bit his lip and drew Riley’s attention to his mouth. God, he wanted to kiss him. Riley wondered what Nick would do if he did, right now, here in the hallway. Would he get mad? Would he punch him? Would he kiss him back? Riley fought back a moan as images of Nick kissing him flooded his brain, making his cock stiffen in his pants.
“Um, Riley?” Nick’s sexy voice broke into Riley’s lustful daydream. With a start, he realized Nick continued to talk to him while he contemplated other uses for Nick’s hot mouth. He became a total creep. Wonderful.
“Sorry, Nick. What were you saying?” Riley smiled at him, trying not to let his gaze drift.
“It’s okay,” Nick assured him as they moved toward the stairs. “You seem distracted this morning. You have a tough case?”
Riley didn’t know what to say. He sure as hell wouldn’t admit to Nick that he distracted him. Riley didn’t keep his gaze from drifting as they headed downstairs. He realized he possessed an unhealthy obsession with Nick’s ass, but he honestly didn’t care.
“No, just stuff,” Riley finally muttered in response.
Nick turned to him as they hit the first-floor hall. “Riley, are you sure you’re okay? You seem kind of off lately.”
Nick put a hand on Riley’s bicep and peered up at him, concern flooding his gaze. Fire seemed to flash across his skin where Nick touched him, and he almost jerked out of the hold in shock. He stopped himself at the last minute, realizing Nick gave him another perfect opening to ask him out.
Do it. Do it. Just do it. C’mon stop being a goddamn idiot and do it already!
“I’ll be okay. I just have a lot on my mind. No need to worry.” Riley smiled reassuringly at Nick. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He needed to get out of here before he made a bigger idiot out of himself. “I’ll see you later, Nick.”
Riley turned away, berating himself for his behavior. He took off, walking as fast as he possible and still not appear to be running from Nick.
He lived close enough to the station to walk, and since it was a nice day, with a slight breeze cooling the warm air around him, he opted for the walk.
On the way, he stopped in at Mitch’s, a diner about a block from his apartment with the best burgers and fries anywhere. Jennifer, the gal at the counter, smiled at him when he walked in, immediately filled a tall Styrofoam cup with coffee, added a large dollop of creamer to it, and stirred gently.
“I would tell you to replace that coffee pot of yours, but then you’d stop coming in here.” Jennifer smiled coyly at him, her blue eyes twinkling. She flirted shamelessly with him, but it didn’t mean anything. Jennifer flirted with everyone. She actually had a boyfriend, one even taller than Riley and built like Drew.
Riley grinned, relaxed since he wasn’t making such a fool of himself in front of Nick. “I would hate to deprive you.”
Jennifer giggled, smacking him lightly on his bicep. “Oh, you shameless flirt. What can I get you this morning?”
He accepted the coffee she slid across the countertop. “Set me up with one of those huge breakfast sandwiches Charles makes.”
Charles, the morning cook, made seriously addictive sandwiches Riley drooled over. He scrambled two eggs with extra sharp cheddar cheese, then loaded them on thick slices of toast along with half a pound of bacon, at Riley’s best guess anyway.
Jennifer nodded. “Sure.” She hollered over her shoulder, “Hey, Charles! Riley wants one of your specials!” An indistinct, but obviously affirmative response came out of the back. “It will be up in a sec, honey. Take a seat.”
Riley parked himself on one of the barstools and waited, chatting with Jennifer as she went about delivering orders, wiping counters, and refilling coffees.
A bell dinged, and a huge, parchment-wrapped sandwich appeared in the window. She grabbed it, put it in a white paper sack, and rung him up.
“Have a good one, sweetie,” Jennifer said as he pocketed his change and headed out. He waved at her absently.
As Riley unwrapped his sandwich, his mind drifted to the young man they found the day before. Too many unanswered questions swirled around. Who was he? Who killed him? Why was he there? Was he mistaken for Harrison? With blond hair, blue eyes, and the same slender build, the possibility existed. And where was Harrison?
A young kid making the most of a bad situation, Harrison came to them a couple of years back, concerned about a young girl in his building. Harrison’s naturally shy demeanor meant he often faded into the background, people forgetting he even existed. He tended to see more than he should. Harrison used to come into station if he thought he had information for them, but he once was caught by the wrong people. After he ended up in the emergency room from the beating, Drew and Riley dropped in on him regularly, not only to see if he possessed information but to check on him. They both liked the gentle young man.
He polished off the last of his sandwich as he approached his desk. Drew was already working on something at his station that butted up against Riley’s.
“Hey, partner,” he said as he dropped into his chair.
Drew peered up, dropping the pen he held. “Hey, I was just going to call you. We’re due in a meeting in five.” Drew pushed back, his chair squealing loudly as he did. “Wish they’d give me a new chair. I’m tired of the entire station knowing when I get up.”
Riley laughed. “Yeah, I wouldn’t count on it.”
Drew leaned against Riley’s desk. “Did you hear about Henderson? He found his wife and his best friend in bed together the other night.”
“Shit. That sucks.” Riley shook his head. Henderson and his wife seemed like such a strong couple, too. He never heard about her complaining about the job like some of the other spouses. Guess that explained why. “That’s two this month that have gone down the tubes.”
Drew shrugged. “I told you, man, not everyone is cut out to date a cop, or marry one.”
“How do you and Stella manage?” Riley always wondered, but never asked.
Drew grinned. “It helps that Stella has a career as demanding as mine. When she’s writing, the house could blow up, and as long as her laptop still worked, she wouldn’t notice. And of course, there’s the book signings, tours, meet-ups, and all that other publicity crap that keeps her on the road forever. She actually worries I might get fed up and leave her. Like I would still function without her.” Riley chuckled. It was true. Drew would curl up in a ball and cease being a normal human if Stella ever left him.
“Hey, Jacobs!” a voice called across the bullpen, and Riley swiveled his head in time to spot Pinkers, a slender young cop, weaving his way toward them. For reasons Riley never did figure out Pinkers latched onto him as a mentor. The kid was a good cop and a genuinely nice guy, so Riley didn’t really mind.
“Any idea what this meeting is about?” Pinkers asked when he got close enough to be heard without shouting. He ran a hand through his white-blond hair in a nervous gesture Riley noticed many times. He always wanted to tell him never to play poker. The nervous gesture must give him away every time.
Both Riley and Drew shook their heads.
“Oh, well. Roth and I were trying to figure out how much trouble we’d be in if we skipped it. We found someone who claims to have seen those guys who’ve been breaking into houses in the middle of the day. It’s the first real lead we’ve gotten. We really want to jump on it.”
Drew and Riley shared a look. After a week on the case, Roth and Pinkers still didn’t have any leads. It was one hell of a case, too. In broad daylight, a group of thieves broke into houses and apartments, cleaning them out in a matter of minutes, leaving no evidence or witnesses behind. Until now, apparently. Everyone wanted these guys off the streets before they got any bolder.
“Go on. We’ll smooth things over for you guys,” Drew told him.
Pinkers face lit up with relief. “Thanks.” He trotted off, calling to his partner across the bullpen.
“C’mon,” Drew’s hand came down on Riley’s shoulder, “we aren’t going to be much good in the smoothing things over department if we’re in trouble for being late ourselves.”
Riley chuckled and got up to follow him.
Nick was distracted again. He knew the cause. It was the same damn thing that distracted him all week. He set down the tangled jumble of wires and circuits he worked on before he made an irrevocable mistake due to his lack of concentration. The GPU they were trying to develop was too important to afford any mistakes, and they were on a tight deadline.
He forced himself to finally admit his little crush on Riley got out of control after this morning. For a moment, he swore Riley stared at his mouth, but he must have imagined it. Though the lust he swore he witnessed in Riley’s eyes took longer to shake. It also told him he needed to do something.
It became painfully obvious his interest in Riley developed into a full-blown crush without him realizing. He hated the word—it made him sound like a teenager—but he didn’t know what else to call it.
“Lauryn, I think I need your help.” Nick figured he had two choices: pine away for a guy who would never return his feelings or find a way to get over him and still be Riley’s friend. Really, one choice in the end.
Lauryn glanced over at him from her microcircuits, her eyes huge behind the magnifying glasses she wore. “Darlin’, you can work circles around me, so I doubt you’re talking about this project. What do ya need my help with then?”
She set down her work and stretched her arms above her head, moving her neck from side to side to relieve the kinks from bending over the table for long periods of time.
Nick leaned his arms on the table. “I need to find a way to move past this stupid crush.”
Lauryn grinned widely at him as she removed the magnifying glasses and placed them on the table carefully. “You’ve finally admitted it’s a crush?”
Nick gave her a mock glare, but she grinned wider. She tried to get him to admit his crush for a while, but he flat-out refused, insisting he simply felt a harmless attraction to a friend.
“I’m serious,” he said quietly.
Lauryn must have seen something in his face because her grin faded to a soft smile. Her hand moved to cover his. “Did something happen, sugar?”
He met her eyes as he told her about last night, how he offered to listen and Riley ignoring it, then about this morning, about the things he fooled himself into believing he saw, about the lust he wanted so badly that it was enough to imagine it there. With every word, he spotted the sympathy, then surprise crept onto her face.
“Oh, honey, I didn’t realize it was so bad.” The sympathy and sadness laced her tone for a brief moment before she shook it off, stood, and headed over to the desk where she stored her purse. “Well then, I suggest we get lunch and talk about project Kill the Crush. What do you think?”
Nick loved this about her. She didn’t dwell on things. She tended to be more of a get-it-done type of person, and they worked well together because of it. He nodded, stood, and followed her out of the building.
They headed to a food cart, got some empanadas, and wandered to a small park nearby. Little more than a fancy, common courtyard area for several of the buildings, it held a large stone fountain with a globe spitting water out the top and back into the basin below.
Nick didn’t know who decided on the globe, but he often wondered if the designers were drunk when they did because it seemed like an odd choice, and the ugliest damn thing he’d ever seen.
Large, hexagonal, multi-color stone tiles surrounded the fountain to provide an area for several iron and dark wooden benches. Huge planters with professional landscaping dotted the area around each bench. It was a beautiful spot, minus the ugly fountain, of course.
They settled on one of the benches, the empanada bag set between them.
For a few minutes, they ate in silence, enjoying the savory deliciousness of the flaky pastry and spicy meat. Finally, Lauryn angled toward him, wiping her hands on a napkin.
“Well, let’s get project Kill the Crush going, shall we?” she said, her tone matter-of-fact, as if they might be discussing any work project and not Nick’s love life. He was actually grateful for it—it made this whole situation easier to bear.
“Do you remember a couple of months ago when you tried to get me to agree to a blind date with that friend of yours? What’s his name? George? Johnny?” Nick began. He refused at the time, uncomfortable with the idea of going out with a guy he never met. But he needed to start somewhere.
“Giovanni? I remember. I still think you’d like each other. He’s a character and has a great sense of humor.” Lauryn grabbed her sweet tea, taking a long drink.
“So, he’s still single?” Nick feared he acquired a boyfriend in the last couple of months. He wiped his hands, gathering up the now empty empanada bag to toss in a nearby trash can.
“Not for lack of trying on his part.” Her fingers flew over her phone as she texted someone. “I thought you didn’t like the idea of going out with someone you hadn’t met. What’s changed?”
Nick shifted uncomfortably, shoving his hands into the pockets of his black slacks. “I’m not thrilled by it, honestly, Lauryn, but I have to start somewhere, don’t I?” He shrugged.
“Lauryn!” a male voice called out from behind him.
Lauryn grinned evilly at Nick and stood, waving at someone. Nick turned, wondering who approached them since he didn’t recognize the voice. He went stock still. Striding toward them, Nick spied an attractive, slender man around his height, with wavy, black hair and gray eyes that sparkled with laughter. His eyes found Nick, and they lit with interest. Lauryn came to stand next to him while he stood gaping at the newcomer.
“Well, hello, gorgeous.” The guy raked his gaze over Nick, not bothering to hide his interest. “Oh, please tell me you called me out to meet this delightful hunk of man-flesh, Lauryn.” Heat crawled across Nick’s face. “Oh my God, that is the cutest damn blush ever.”
The guy lifted a hand and brushed it across Nick’s cheek. He flinched away from it, the too familiar touch making him uncomfortable. Lauryn laughed and grabbed the other man’s hand, gently pulling it away from Nick’s face.
“Don’t scare him off before I get him to agree to a date, Gio.” Gio looked at her with disbelieving eyes, as if he thought it might be some elaborate joke. Lauryn laughed again. “I promise, no joke this time, Gio. This is Nick.”
“This is Nick?” His voice held clear notes of astonishment. “Oh heaven, there is a God!”
Nick hoped a hole would open and swallow him.
“Did I hear my lovely friend right? You’re looking for a date? Oh, please, let me help you.”
“Um, yeah. I just need to get out, you know? And she’s been talking about you, and I wanted to meet you.” Nick hoped his blatant lie wouldn’t be too obvious since he really didn’t want to begin by telling the guy he needed to get over his crush on someone else.
Gio smiled, his face lighting up. “Well then, gorgeous, you and me, tomorrow night. What do you say?”
Gio shifted closer to Nick, running a hand up his arm and smiling at him flirtatiously. A weight settled in his stomach, and he pressed his lips together as he met the other man’s gray eyes.
He couldn’t deny Gio’s good looks, and the guy practically vibrated with enthusiasm. So different from Riley’s calm, soothing presence. Was he really able to do this? Everything about Gio screamed social butterfly, but Nick was always happiest hanging out at home or with a small group of friends. He liked that Riley seemed to possess a similar attitude. Of course, the point was to get over Riley. Maybe someone completely different would be just what he needed. He would certainly provide a distraction.
Realizing he’d been silent too long, Nick nodded. Maybe project Kill the Crush wouldn’t be so bad after all.