HEATH TRUDGED UP the ranch’s porch steps in the deepening twilight, his body sore, but his spirits high. They’d saved the herd. No. Jewel—brave, bold, beautiful Jewel—saved the herd. The Brahmans now had access to the Crystal River, virtually guaranteeing a high enough head count going into the beef auctions to stave off bankruptcy. Better still, his family avoided a costly trial. In one simple, courageous act, Jewel resolved the last of their families’ differences and ended their 130-year feud.
Now he and Jewel needed to resolve their issues, too.
But that required talking and privacy, two things she’d avoided around him since the gala. She wanted her space, and he respected that. Respected her.
Loved her.
Yes, that, too.
He’d known his heart fully when she’d stood up to her brothers, a gutsy and selfless act. She’d jeopardized her dream of being Cade Ranch’s range boss by angering James, but she’d put the cattle first. It proved her strength and character. She was authentic, driven and independent. She didn’t want anything from anyone except their love and respect. And now he was free to give it, especially since Andrew Parsons never called back. He’d lost the opportunity of a lifetime, but if Jewel would forgive him, he might not regret it.
“Heath! Phone!” Sierra held out the receiver as he opened the screen door and plodded inside.
When he reached for the receiver, she clamped a hand over the mouthpiece and whispered, “What’d you do to Jewel?”
“Nothing.”
Everything. Guilt swamped him. Toying with her feelings before resolving things with Kelsey had been selfish and hurtful, everything he’d apologize for if she’d just let him.
“She’s upstairs packing her gear. Says she’s leaving since Pa and Joy come home tomorrow and Cole got his cast off. What’s the rush?”
Heath squeezed his sister’s shoulder. “Will you stall her till I get off the phone?”
She brushed her blond bangs from her eyes and peered up at him. “Only if you promise not to hurt her. She’s not as tough as she looks.”
“I know.”
Sierra released the phone and stomped upstairs.
“Heath Loveland here,” he said, one eye on the stairwell.
“This is Andrew Parsons.”
Heath’s heart kicked up a gear. “Yes, sir.”
“Got your message. Have to say, I was surprised when you turned down my tryout invitation last month. And I don’t give second chances.”
Heath’s throat constricted. After clearing it, he said, “I understand, sir. Thank you for—”
“Don’t thank me. I haven’t heard your audition…yet.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve decided it’s worth giving you one more shot. After you left your message, I had one of my staffers share your video on our blog. It’s got over a hundred thousand likes so far. Those are mighty persuasive numbers.”
Heath’s breath quickened. “A hundred thousand?”
“And that’s just in the past week. You’ve got potential I’d like to explore. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. What do you say?”
Jewel’s voice caught his ear and grew louder, mingling with Sierra’s as their boots clattered down the stair treads.
“I—I’ll have to call you back, sir.”
“But—but—”
“Promise,” he vowed, then hung up on the sputtering music producer. A possible recording contract was his dream, but Jewel had become just as important. He needed to know where things stood before committing himself.
She stalked by, saddlebag slung over her shoulder.
“Wait!” Emma and Noah raced from the kitchen table, where they’d been coloring with Daryl and flung their arms around Jewel. “Ain’t you gonna say goodbye?”
“Aren’t you and going to,” Sierra corrected, ruffling Noah’s hair.
Jewel’s mouth relaxed into a smile. “Of course I was. I just didn’t see you there.”
“How come you gotta…?” Emma paused at Sierra’s headshake. “Got to go tonight? We were going to play Monopoly.”
Noah nodded. “You promised.”
Jewel’s eyes swerved to Heath’s. “It’s better if I leave now. Y’all got everything in hand, and your pa, uncle Heath and aunt Sierra can play with you.”
“But they don’t always lose like you do,” Emma insisted.
“Except Pa!” Noah giggled. “He never wins.”
Daryl shot them a comical hangdog look. “Guess I’m just a born loser.”
Heath guffawed at Daryl’s exaggeration. Growing up, he’d been a wily competitor. Most likely he “lost” to make up for the real loss of the children’s mostly absentee mother. Like Heath, Daryl knew the pain an unhappy parent inflicted, doubly so since his real parents had abandoned him at Loveland Hills when he was only five. Perhaps because he was adopted, he took extra care to bend over backward to keep his little ones happy. If Heath was even half the dad Daryl was someday, he’d know he’d done right by his own kids.
Jewel chucked the children gently under the chin. “You’ll have to up your game. Just remember. Uncle Heath is a sucker for the railroad properties. He’ll pay anything to get them all. And Aunt Sierra always had extra money hidden under the board.”
“Hey!” protested Sierra with a grin. “You can’t give out all my secrets.” She hugged Jewel. “I’ll drive Bear over to you in the morning.”
Jewel thanked her and headed for the door. Sierra turned to the kids. “Let’s set up the board.”
“We need to talk before you go,” Heath said, following Jewel outside.
She paused on the top step. “It’s not necessary. I’m sure you and Kelsey will be very happy.”
He caught her hand with his. “Kelsey and I broke up.”
In the deepening gloom, he struggled to make out the expression in her enormous eyes. “When? Why? I thought—”
“At the gala. I overheard her talking about—Well, it doesn’t matter. But I realized she didn’t love me.”
“What about you?”
“I knew I didn’t love her either…hadn’t in a long time. She was safe, predictable, and all wrong for me.” He led Jewel to the porch swing and tugged her down onto the seat beside him.
“But she’s beautiful, smart, classy.”
“I care about someone else. Apparently, I have a predilection for bossy redheads with hair-trigger tempers.”
“She sounds like a handful.” Her tone of voice was attempting to be jokey, but her bottom lip wobbled.
“She’s impossible.” Heath gave an exaggerated sigh. “But I only want her.” He cupped her chin. “You.”
“Heath,” she breathed.
“I tried to tell you before, but you kept pushing me away.”
“I was angry. Needed my space.”
“Understandable. I’ve been a jerk and I’m sorry.”
“And clueless. You forgot that one.”
He chuckled. Jewel. She was a button-pusher, one of the traits he liked most about her. Loved about her. He’d heard opposites attracted, but he never would have believed it until now. “I thought pleasing others was selfless, but it was selfish. I wanted to be the good guy. The hero who saves the day, rather than just me, because deep down, I thought it was all I had to offer.”
Jewel flung her arms around him, crossing her wrists behind his neck. “How could you think that? You have so much to give. The thing is with me, I don’t ever want to take, to depend on anyone, but I’m learning, Heath. My brothers used to tease me about having a crush on you for years, but it’s because they never thought I’d be soft on someone—or soft at all. You bring that out in me. I—I forgive you.”
“What would they say if they saw us right now?” he teased. The moon broke through cloud coverage, illuminating an expression on her face that was so horrified he almost laughed. When she began to withdraw, he placed his hands atop hers, locking them in place before spanning her slender waist. “You’re not afraid of what they think anymore, are you?”
“No…” she said and followed that with a little outtake of air, a puff of distress that dispersed into the night. “But maybe we should keep us a secret for a little while, just until the season’s over and things quiet down.”
“Not sure if that’s going to be possible because there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Okay.” She recoiled slightly and stretched out the word.
“Don’t worry—it’s not what you think it is.” He dug his feet into the porch floor and shoved off, gently rocking the swing. “I know you don’t ever want to get married.”
She laughed, a shaky, uncertain sound. “I might have had a change of heart about that.”
The revelation stitched the frayed crack in his heart after her rejection the past week. “How about going to Nashville with me, then?”
“What do you mean?” She arched a brow. “Like on a trip?”
“After the gala, I called that music producer for another shot.” The porch swing creaked beneath them as he pushed it forward then back, swifter now.
“Was that who you were just speaking to?”
“He still wants me to try out, but I told him I’d have to phone him back.” He skimmed his thumbs over the thin T-shirt covering her taut stomach.
“Are you insane? Guys like that don’t wait around!”
“I needed to ask you first.”
Jewel’s eyes bulged. “Why?”
“Because I wanted to hear your thoughts and see if you’d go with me.”
“Oh, Heath.” She shook her head slowly, her voice low and full of sorrow. “There you go again.”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s it matter what I think?” She dropped her hands from his neck and poked his chest with her index finger. “You’re trying to please me, and you know what? I won’t let you.” She pressed her lips in a firm line.
“What do you mean?”
“James offered me the range boss position.”
He caught her in a tight hug. “About darn time.”
“If I said I wanted you to stay here, what would your answer be?”
“I’d tell Parsons no.” He ignored the slight pang in his chest accompanying his vow.
She drew back. “And you’d be fine never knowing if your dream would have come true?”
“I’d have another dream.” His right knee jiggled up and down. “You.”
“But you’d still never know.”
For a second or two there was silence, an emptiness, which neither wanted to fill with words, because they were both thinking about what that might mean for their potential relationship, and how bad that could be.
“I want you in my life, Heath. I do,” Jewel implored. He heard the drag of grief in her voice, as if she were already mourning him. Them. What could have been. “But I don’t want you to look at me one day and regret the chance you never took. You saw how your mother suffered, stuck in a life she felt trapped in, unable to explore her own music career. You need to go to Nashville and stay there until you make it. Music is what got you through in life, long before I ever came around.”
He inhaled the familiar horse scent that clung to her clothes, the soapy aroma of her skin. He was losing her. Yet staying behind, giving up his music for marriage and kids for the person he loved, was no different from what his mom had done. Eventually he’d come to resent Jewel, and she was the last person in the world he ever wanted to resent because he loved her. But if she would go with him, then he could have the best of both worlds “Then come with me.”
“And do what?” Her eyes shut as her face tensed. “I’d be a concrete cowgirl spinning my wheels in Nashville. What would I do? Waitressing? Driving Ubers? My life can’t revolve around yours, either. Is that what you’d want for me?”
“You should have your dream, too.” Emotion clawed at his insides, raking him raw. He couldn’t walk his mother’s path, and neither should he expect Jewel to. “I never want you to change for me.”
Despite her glistening eyes, her expression remained stoic. “We’d only end up hating each other if we did.” The swing rocked back on its chain as she stood. “We want different things.”
He nodded, unable to push words past the softball-sized lump in his throat. Until their dreams converged, they had to part ways. As much as it hurt, they owed it to each other to pursue their own futures.
He followed her down to her truck. “Thank you, Jewel. For everything. For—”
“Not necessary.” They were words of reassurance, but Jewel’s eyes told a different story. He read in them a quality and depth of despair that matched his own, and that pained him even more. “We both got what we wanted, didn’t we?”
He snorted at the irony, a quick, off-pitched sound, a fish gulping air. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, hopped in her truck and drove off without waiting for his answer.
Had they gotten what they wanted?
As her pickup disappeared around a bend, his heart rode shotgun beside her. It’d left his chest, if the gaping, hollow sensation was any indication. Part of him wanted to chase after her like a cattle dog until she slowed and let him inside. But he had to follow his own road, as did she.
Would his be a dead end? One that never led him to the happiness Jewel gave him?
There was only one way to find out.
He forced himself up the stairs, inside the house and dragged the rotary phone to the kitchen table.
“You’ve made the right decision, son,” the producer crowed a couple minutes later.
“I hope so. Thank you, sir.” Heath placed the phone on its receiver.
Emma rolled the dice, then moved her game piece. “What are you hoping for, Uncle Heath? Did you make a wish?”
Dropping his elbows on the table, he planted his face in his hands. His insides twisted and burned. He’d just made the most important and possibly worst decision of his life. “I don’t know, darlin’. Maybe I need a couple shooting stars.”
“You can only make one wish at a time.” Noah shook the dice in his fist. “Or it won’t come true.”
Heath nodded. Only one wish.
That was exactly the whole darn problem.