Chapter 8

By Friday, Jax was head over heels for Honor. She was amazing. Not only the sexiest female he’d ever seen, but a sweet and wonderful person, inside and out. She had a wry sense of humor, a musical laugh, and a penchant for poker, which they played every night after dinner with John and Rue.

Over the week, they’d shared their lives with each other. He’d wanted her from the moment he’d tackled her in the woods that fateful night, and he’d found himself half in love with her by the time they met. Now, he’d completely fallen for her.

She still struggled with her emotions from time to time, feeling overwhelmed by the past or what she’d missed out on. They’d gone to dinner at Callie, Eryx, and Ethan’s home, and Honor had seemed perfectly fine until their daughter, Sophie, had started crying for Callie from her room and Callie had hurried to her. Jax had smelled the saltwater of Honor’s tears and was moved by her attempt to keep herself from breaking down in front of everyone. He’d hustled her outside to the fresh night air and held her closely, letting her cry until all the tears were gone. She’d told him how hard it was for her to see Callie’s motherly love for Sophie, because her own daughter had never had that.

“I mean, I wonder,” she said in a rough voice, “if she called for me when she was little. It breaks my heart.”

“Oh sweetheart,” he said, brushing the tears from her cheeks. “It’s okay to feel sad about the past and what you missed, but you can’t let it hobble your future. You were cursed. It’s unfair as hell. But the curse doesn’t define you anymore. I can see the wonderful female you are at your core. You’d never intentionally harm Hope or any other child. Your emotions still give you trouble from time to time, and that’s okay, too. You were basically stunted by the curse.”

He laid his hands on her shoulders and looked at her. Her blue eyes were shining like sapphires, her cheeks pink and her eyes red from tears. “You’re my mate and you’re Holden’s mate. Nothing that you dealt with before changes what we are together. There’s only the future ahead of us. Don’t mourn the past. Cherish the time we have now and hope for the future.”

She gave him a watery smile. “You’re pretty smart.”

“It’s been known to happen,” he said with a chuckle.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being there for me when I need you. You never judge me, you just listen and support me.”

“It’s my pleasure. You’re allowed to be sad, sweetheart, just don’t let it rule your life.”

“I promise.”

He loved to see her thrive in the pride. Although that evening with the Fallons had left her a little emotionally wrought, she’d come out on the other side stronger. Everyone had welcomed her with open arms, so even when he and Holden were at work, she wasn’t alone. She spent time with the other females or worked on cleaning and repair projects around the boarding house.

It amazed him how easily she’d fit into their lives; he hadn’t really known what to expect once they were together. He’d worried she would be timid or not know how to get along with the large group, but her resilience and care for the pride made him one proud male. Leading the family – ensuring that everyone was happy and safe – had become his priority. Not only Honor, but also his brother, and eventually when they got to King he’d ensure the safety of their extended family as well.

When he was a kid, he’d always been the leader. It came naturally to him. He’d been the captain of the football team, a manager at the mechanic shop they worked at, and the one who’d handled the family finances after their father passed away. He and Holden were well-matched to be Honor’s mates. It wouldn’t do for her to have two bossy mates who were always fighting over who was the leader. He and Holden had slid into their roles so easily, he felt like they were destined to find Honor and share her. It wouldn’t always be a cakewalk, he was sure, but it was damn sweet to have a family.

Later that week, after they’d gotten her a cell phone, she’d texted her father, and had been surprised to get a text from her daughter later that day. Hope was curious about her, and although Honor wanted to talk on the phone or video chat with her, the teenager was more interested in texting. That didn’t surprise him, it seemed to be the way kids were these days. Which made him feel a lot older than he actually was.

“You’re looking very thoughtful,” Honor said as she came into the bedroom.

He zipped up his bag and smiled at her. “I was just thinking about the last week.”

“It’s been wonderful,” she said. “I hate to leave, but I’m excited to see my dad and Hope.”

“Are you all packed, sweetheart?”

“Yep. You?”

“Just finished. Let’s grab Holden and get on the road.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and turned toward the door. Her hand on his arm stopped him, and he faced her.

“Thank you for this.”

“For what? Taking you to see your dad and meet your daughter? It’s our pleasure.”

“That, and also taking time off work. You guys just opened your lives to me without hesitation. I feel like I can’t ever repay you.”

He dropped the bag on the bed and hooked his arm around her waist, drawing her close. Her breath gusted from her lungs at the swift movement, her eyes darkening and a purr stuttering in her chest. He drew his finger down her jaw and followed the line of her bottom lip. “There’s nothing to repay. We’re mates, and whatever is important to you is important to me and Holden. Besides, they’re both our family now. Eli’s our father-in-law, and Hope is our step-daughter.”

“You never wanted to have kids of your own?”

“Well, yeah. Holden and I both thought we’d have kids of our own someday, but neither of us wanted to go the traditional route in the pride.”

She frowned. “Traditional?”

“Yeah, you know how it used to be; a male would choose a female in the pride and basically contract with her to bear a cub for him. Then she’d disappear and he’d raise the baby on his own.”

“Just like me,” she said.

“Hey, I didn’t mean anything–” he said.

She put her fingertip on his lips to stop him and gave him a sad smile. “You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. It’s exactly what happened between me and Silas. Until the curse was broken, I didn’t have an ounce of maternal feeling. But now, I have all these maternal feelings and a kid who isn’t sure she wants me in her life.”

He kissed the tip of her finger. “Hope will come around, sweetheart.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because if she’d been fully poisoned like you, she wouldn’t have wanted to even talk to you. She reached out, and that speaks volumes. She just needs to get to know you. When she does, I promise she’s going to love you.”

Honor’s eyes shimmered with emotion. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Jax. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

“Me, too.”

After a few quiet moments of holding each other, they grabbed their things and headed down to the first floor. Holden was there, discussing the trip with Tristan and Wesley, who visited their dads several times a year.

“Are we all set?” Holden asked, looking up from the GPS app on his tablet.

“Yep,” Jax said.

Honor looked into a cooler bag and said, “Oh! You got malted milk balls!”

Holden grinned. “Of course, they’re your favorite.”

She giggled. “Awesome. I have the best mates.”

“Have a safe trip,” Micah said.

“We will, thanks,” Jax said.

They left the boarding house and got settled in the truck. Jax was going to drive the first leg, and then Holden would take over.

“Thank goodness this road trip isn’t as long as the other one,” she said as they turned out of the drive and onto the road.

“Definitely,” Jax said. “But you’re going to see your family, so the distance wouldn’t matter.”

She leaned on Jax’s shoulder. “You two are the sweetest guys ever. I’m so lucky.”

Jax smiled and reached for her hand, feeling the warmth and the connection that flared through him every time he touched her. Having a mate was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him, and he thanked his lucky stars every day.

“We’re the lucky ones, sweetheart,” he said. “I just wish our dad was alive to know how things have changed for our people.”

“Was your mother his mate?”

“He didn’t believe so. It’s so damn hard to know if any males’ thoughts on the females are accurate, though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, take wolves, for example. They have truemates who know each other on sight. There’s a connection that’s deeper than physical attraction between the mates. Our people historically have never had that sort of two-sided connection because the females didn’t respond to the males. Even if a male thought a female was his mate, the female never allowed a relationship to form in any sense. Have a child, yes. Live together? Not a chance. It’s difficult to tell if the way males felt about females before were actual mate connections of if it was simply the males wanting a relationship.”

Honor hummed. “I never thought about it that way. The females weren’t kind to the males if they showed any sort of interest in making a sex-only situation into something deeper.”

“Ethan told us that before Callie came along, he’d been attempting to get one of the females to have a relationship with him. She said no, of course, but when he and Eryx mated Callie, the female said she’d try a relationship if they’d send Callie packing.”

“That’s interesting. I can’t imagine that the female actually wanted to be in a relationship. Being that close to someone before the curse was lifted was abhorrent.”

“They were pretty sure she was playing them and just trying to get Callie out of town,” Holden said.

“That sounds about right. The cursed females don’t think about sex for pleasure, only for procreation. Or leverage.”

Jax hadn’t realized that the curse not only dampened the emotions of the females, but also curbed their ability to enjoy sex.

“Did you ever…” Jax stopped, unsure how to finish the sentence, or if he even should.

“Have an orgasm?” she asked, arching a delicate brow at him.

“Yeah. I kind of don’t want to know, but it seems like an awful fate for you to never have felt good being touched.”

“I never had one before you two. Before the curse, it wasn’t anything I ever thought about. Once we shared blood and I was back in Canada, all I thought about was you two and your hands on me.”

“It was all we could think about, too,” Jax promised.

 

* * *

 

After stopping for breakfast outside of King, they drove into town. He and Holden hadn’t been back since they moved to Ashland a few years earlier to be close to Melody. It was almost surreal to be back in King, not just because they hadn’t expected to come back, but also because they had a non-cursed, beautiful female mountain lion with them.

“Wow,” Honor murmured.

“What?” Jax asked.

“I don’t think much has changed since I left, and that was fifteen years ago. It looks like it’s frozen in time.”

“Well, there’s one major difference,” Holden said. “The females are gone.”

“Good point,” she said.

Jax parked in front of a brick-front ranch house with an older model sedan in the driveway. A wreath hung on the front door, and the beds that lined the front of the house were filled with colorful flowers.

Jax got out of the truck and offered his hand to Honor. When she slid her hand into his, he could feel the tremble in her cold fingers. She got out and stepped close to him, letting out a shaky sigh.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart, I promise,” he said. “Your father loves you.”

“I know.”

“We’re pretty crazy about you ourselves,” Holden said as he joined them. “We wouldn’t have brought you here if it wasn’t the right thing for you.”

She smiled. “I know that, too. I’m just nervous.”

“That’s understandable,” Jax said.

The front door creaked as it swung open. “Are you going to stand out there all day or come give your dad a hug? You owe me about fifteen years’ worth of them.”

“Dad!” Honor raced away from Jax and Holden and practically tackled her father in her haste.

Jax laughed at the sheer joy that shone on Honor’s face as she hugged her father. “I think at least some of her nervousness is gone now.”

“Yep.” Holden said. “Makes me wish Dad was alive. And Bradley, too.”

Jax’s heart panged. “Definitely. But the good news is that we get to make our family even bigger with Honor, Eli, and Hope.”

“Come say hi to my dad,” Honor called from the porch.

Jax and Holden strode up the front walk.

He gave them an appraising look. “I remember you two. Good thing you were good boys back then, or I’d have to give my daughter a good talking to about choosing respectable males.”

Jax snorted and shook Eli’s hand.

Holden shook his hand. “It’s been a long time. I’m glad you remember all the good things we did, and not the senior pranks.”

“Which one was your class? The spray paint on Ted Murphy’s barn?”

“My class was the spray paint,” Jax said.

“Mine was the cow on the roof,” Holden said.

“You put a cow on the roof?” Honor asked.

“Yeah,” Holden said. “The easy part was getting it up there.”

“What was the hard part?” she asked.

“We had to get the fire department to use a sling and lift the poor thing off the roof,” Eli said, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Cows can’t go down stairs.”

“Which, to be fair, we didn’t know when we put it up there.”

“Well, pranks aside, I’m very thankful for you two. Without you, I wouldn’t be seeing my daughter for the first time in years. Come on in.”

They walked into the house and Eli shut the door behind them. He led them into the family room, where the coffee table had been set with a pitcher of lemonade, glasses, and a plate of cookies.

“Are those your famous snickerdoodles?” Honor asked.

“Of course! Hope and I made them this morning.”

“Where is she?”

“She went for a walk with one of her friends. I think she was nervous to meet you.”

“Nervous to meet me? I’m the one who’s nervous.”

Eli gestured for them to sit. Honor sat on the couch in between Jax and Holden, and Eli took an easy chair, which creaked a little as he rocked back and forth.

“You had a good drive?” he asked.

Honor took a bite of a cookie and let out a happy groan, which was just sexy enough to make Jax want to carry her out of her father’s house and do wicked, wonderful things to her.

Jax nodded. “Holden and I switched for the drive so we could rest some and not be too exhausted once we got here.”

“You’re welcome to stay here,” Eli said. “I have a spare bedroom.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Honor said. “We’d love to.”

Eli stared at them in silence for a long moment, and then said, “I can’t believe you’re really here, Honor. I never thought I’d see you again.”

“Oh, Dad,” she said. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“It’s not your fault,” Eli said. “You were cursed. I just can’t believe that our people didn’t know about the curse. You’d think important information like that would have been passed down from generation to generation. The males before us really blew it.”

“I think every male would agree with you,” Jax said.

“What kind of response did you get when you told the males that Honor was coming here?” Holden asked.

“There’s still some disbelief among the older males about the curse, but the younger generation is more accepting. It helps that Hope isn’t like the females used to be. There are a few other female lions here; they’re younger than Hope and not exhibiting any signs of being like the others, either.”

“No one’s going to try to run me out of town?” she asked.

“Not a chance,” Eli said, his voice tipping to a growl. “I made it clear that you’re different, and if anyone even thinks about giving you a hard time, they’re going to have to deal with me first.”

Jax appreciated how protective her father was.

The front door swung open and closed. Honor stood slowly and stared at the hallway that led to the foyer.

“Pop? Is she here?” Hope called.

“Yes, honey,” Eli said. “Come in and say hello.”

“I’m not sure I want to.”

“We already talked about this,” he said as he rose to his feet. “She’s your mother.”

“Dad, it’s okay,” Honor said. “I’m a stranger to her.”

“She should still be respectful,” Eli said.

The sound of footsteps drew closer, and Hope appeared in the doorway. Her hair was the same golden blonde as Honor’s, and their eyes were the same shade of sapphire blue. Jax had seen her on the video app, but seeing her in person told him just how much she looked like her mother.

“I don’t want to call you Mom,” Hope said. “Not yet. It’s too weird.”

Jax stood the second he scented saltwater and knew Honor was on the verge of crying. Holden joined him, and they held her between them.

“I understand,” Honor said. “It’s nice to meet you. You’re even prettier in person.”

“You, too,” Hope said. She twisted her hands together and furrowed her brow. “This is weird.”

Honor chuckled. “Yeah.”

“How about we all sit down and chat?” Eli suggested.

“Can we sit outside?” Hope asked.

“Of course,” he said.

They followed him and Hope out to a covered patio with wicker furniture arranged around a firepit. Hope sat next to Eli on a loveseat, and Jax and Holden sat with Honor on chairs.

“The backyard looks great, Dad,” Honor said. She glanced at Jax and Holden and smiled. “The patio was here before, but it wasn’t covered, and we had these old chairs that were metal frames, woven with strips of canvas.”

“One summer we re-wove them,” Eli said. “Last summer Hope had a birthday party here, and she said the old furniture was uncool, so we upgraded.”

“It looks great,” Honor said.

Hope looked down at her phone, then stood and headed into the house.

“Hope,” Eli said in a warning tone.

“I’ll be back,” she said, disappearing inside.

“When she’s stressed, her go-to response is to walk away.”

“Oh,” Honor said. “I’m sorry I stressed her out.”

“You shouldn’t be sorry,” Eli said, shaking his head. “You’re my daughter and this is your home, too.”

“Why does she walk away?” Holden asked.

“King is mostly human now. The pride isn’t as big as it used to be, so the support network you guys had growing up isn’t there. Hope’s about a year away from shifting. When she gets stressed out, her lion acts up and it makes her antsy. Humans don’t understand how emotional shifters can get, so Hope’s automatic response is to walk away so she doesn’t get made fun of.”

“Why would anyone make fun of her?” Honor asked.

“Because shifters are different,” Eli said. “There aren’t a lot of young ones, and Hope is one of only a few teens in the high school aside from a few teachers and staff. She’s always been on the outside because of that.”

“It’s a lot different than when we were growing up,” Jax said.

“The pride was bigger before you left,” Eli said to Honor. “Even if the females weren’t kind to the males, the support of the larger pride made it easier for the youth to come into their shifts. A female never turned her back on another female in need, and the males wouldn’t either.”

“It’s kind of the same in Ashland,” Holden said. “It’s mostly human, but as more kids are born into the pride, the tide will shift.”

“Ashland sounds like a great place.”

Honor smiled. “It is. But it’s not King.”

Jax nodded as understanding filled him. He glanced past Honor to Holden, who nodded in unspoken agreement. If Honor decided she wanted to stay in King, then they’d happily move there.

Although Ashland had been home to them, now home was where Honor wanted to live. King, or Ashland, or the moon – it didn’t matter to him as long as she was with them.

When they were ready for bed, Eli set them up in Honor’s old bedroom. She walked into the room and stopped in her tracks. She turned in a slow circle and then walked to the full-sized bed and ran her hand across the pink quilt. She sat on the bed with a groan and rubbed at the space over her heart.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Holden asked.

“I don’t know. I feel like…my chest hurts.”

Jax pulled her to her feet and hurried her outside and onto the back patio. “Your heart is racing, Honor. You’re having a panic attack. Take some deep breaths and calm down.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Holden said, lifting her hand and pressing it to his chest, right over his heart.

She leaned against both her mates, taking slow, deep breaths of the fresh night air.

“That was crazy,” she said. “He didn’t change the room. It’s exactly how I remember it; from the pink curtains to the nightstand with the clock that’s shaped like a lion. I felt overwhelmingly sad. I hurt him so much because of the curse. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not,” Eli said, standing in the doorway. “A lot of older males like me have held onto the hope that someday our daughters and granddaughters would return. That somehow things would change. I never gave up wanting you to come home. I couldn’t change your room. If I took away your things, it was like saying that I didn’t believe you’d be with me someday. I did wash the bedding before you showed up, though. Didn’t think you’d want to sleep on old, dusty sheets.”

Honor laughed lightly and left her mates’ embrace to hug her dad. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I should have warned you about the room, though. I wasn’t thinking about how you’d feel to see it.”

“Sad that you’ve waited so long for me.”

“You were worth the wait,” he said.